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Check the Week 1 thread for a full explanation of the rules! A busy week 1 in the new season of 1KoB, with a lot of 900+ scores but a bunch of busts. Top score goes to Lt. Chips, who got really lucky that Palmer evidently couldn't see Fitzgerald all night long. Shoutout to Big Ol Marsh Pussy for being the first one of the year to save himself from busting (and pick up a whole bunch of points in the process) with a token. Condolences to Great White Hope, who comes so close and yet so far with the ballsy Week 1 Ryan token play. Week 1 Results Top Ten: Lt. Chips: 996 - 69 pts.  von Metternich: 995 - 68 pts. Big Ol Marsh Pussy: 986 (1049-63) - 67 pts. Alfred P. Pseudonym: 985 - 66 pts. ChuckHead: 980 - 65 pts. Fenrir: 971 - 64 pts. Foranzan: 965 - 63 pts. Arnold Layne: 964 - 62 pts. JGKing: 958 - 61 pts. marioinblack: 951 - 60 pts. Jaysus: 937 - 59 pts. The Field: Grozz Nuy: 924 - 58 pts. Akbar: 921 - 57 pts. OBR: 914 - 56 pts. WaffleZombie: 913 - 55 pts. Phyein: 912 - 54 pts. Benne: 893 - 53 pts. The Puppy Bowl: 888 - 52 pts. DupaDupa: 884 - 51 pts. anime gently caress pillow: 860 - 50 pts. kalensc: 855 - 49 pts. Felter Chesthard: 852 - 48 pts. Butthead: 847 - 47 pts. ROSS MY SALAD: 843 - 46 pts. embarrasing tank: 839 - 45 pts. Mind_Taker: 831 - 44 pts. Miko: 830 - 43 pts. A Pale Horse: 826 - 42 pts. Ghost of Reagan Past: 813 - 41 pts. Skillface: 804 - 40 pts. Dubar: 803 - 38 pts. Phiggle: 803 - 38 pts. aBagorn: 768 - 37 pts. Ron Roenicke: 756 - 36 pts. Okibi: 753 - 35 pts. No Butt Stuff: 748 - 34 pts. Mughe: 723 - 33 pts. OxySnake: 704 - 32 pts. Haschel Cedricson: 701 - 31 pts. Chichevache: 679 - 30 pts. rebel1608: 674 - 29 pts. grah: 673 - 28 pts. skaboombizzy: 666 - 27 pts. (hail Satan) Cruel and Unusual: 657 - 26 pts. Gandalf21: 652 - 25 pts. solauran: 613 - 24 pts. Metapod: 612 - 23 pts. Z.S. Ghost: 600 - 22 pts. Bjay9: 596 - 21 pts. pixelbot2000: 584 - 20 pts. Christ Pseudoscientist: 562 - 19 pts. BlindSite: 559 - 18 pts. Garbo: 366 - 17 pts. 13 year old girls: 340 - 16 pts. Busts: axeil: 1021 - 15 pts. waah: 1035 - 14 pts. Tavarin: 1038 - 13 pts. Spoeank: 1049 - 12 pts. Grittybeard: 1050 - 11 pts. Apples McGrind: 1064 - 10 pts. Nystral: 1069 - 9 pts. Thaddius the Large: 1103 - 8 pts. Freaquency: 1142 - 7 pts. Bachtere: 1153 (1220-67) - 6 pts. ffoecaf: 1158 - 5 pts. Hockles: 1299 - 4 pts. bushisms.txt: 1315 - 3 pts. Deceptive: 862 - 0 pts. (Ryan Token) Great White Hope: 1009 - 0 pts. (Ryan Token) Tokens!  The Revis Token: The modern example of the lockdown cornerback. You may use the Revis Token when your Tucker Number is a Wide Receiver. If your Tucker Number's receiving yardage would bust your score, this token sends them on a one-way ticket to Revis Island and zeroes out their yardage for the week. (I'm gonna need another new icon for this, goddamn it Darrelle)  The Suh Token: Stomps plays out in the backfield, when he's not stomping on an opponent's dick. You may play the Suh Token when your Tucker Number is a Quarterback or Running Back. If your Tucker Number would bust your score, this token zeroes out their biggest passing or rushing gain of the game. It only works for one play though, so it won't save you from death by a million tiny cuts.  The Willis Token: The best middle linebacker of this generation, sheds blocks like a maniac and can cover to boot. You may play the Willis Token when your Tucker Number is a Running Back or Tight End. If your Tucker Number's yardage would bust your score, this token sends Willis on a one-man rampage and halves their yardage for the game.  The Polamalu Token: A man whose mystique on the field is matched only by his luxurious hair. The Polamalu Token can be used no matter what position your Tucker Number plays, because Polamalu is all over the field. If your Tucker Number's yardage would bust you, this token cancels out all your yardage except your Tucker Number, because you just can't keep your eyes off that hair. In addition, the Polamalu Token grants a special hair bonus of 25 extra points added to your score if you achieve a top 10 score when you declare it, but don't need its effects to keep you from busting. And one special token:  The Rex Ryan Token: He doesn't play defense, but like many great defenders he sure talks a whole lot of poo poo. If you declare the Rex Ryan token during a given week, he gets you 50 bonus points for a top 10 score and 100 bonus points for the best score of the week, but if you finish outside the top 10 you get zero, so you'd best be able to back up your tough talk. In addition, you can use the Ryan token as much as you want if you keep getting the bonus, but if you use the Ryan token and fail to make the top 10, you can't use it again for the entire rest of the season unless you hit a perfect thousand. Not for the faint at heart!  Blowhard Alert! The following users have blown their Ryan Token and are ineligible to use it for the remainder of the season unless they hit a perfect 1000: Deceptive Great White Hope Week 2 Schedule Thursday Night: PIT@BAL Sunday 10AM: MIA@BUF JAX@WAS DAL@TEN ARI@NYG NE@MIN NO@CLE ATL@CIN DET@CAR Sunday 1PM: STL@TB SEA@SD HOU@OAK NYJ@GB KC@DEN Sunday Night: CHI@SF  Monday Night!PHI@IND Grozz Nuy fucked around with this message at 01:56 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 9, 2014 08:34
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gently caress everything. Matt Stafford - Yards Carried To Hospital After Career-Ending Knee Injury  Drew Brees - Passing Yards Brian Hoyer - Passing Yards Terrence West - Rushing Yards Tucker Number - Andrew Luck - Passing Yards rare Magic card l00k fucked around with this message at 11:53 on Sep 14, 2014 |
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Sep 9, 2014 13:42
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Bryan Hoyer - Passing Yards Johnny Manziel - Passing Yards Ben Tate - Rushing Yards Terrence West - Rushing Yards Isiah Crowell - Rushing Yards Miles Austin - Receiving Yards Andrew Hawkins - Receiving Yards Travis Benjamin - Receiving Yards Taylor Gabriel - Passing Yards Jordan Cameron - Receiving Yards Gary Barnidge - Receiving Yards Jim Dray - Receiving Yards Drew Brees - Passing Yards T#: Trent Richardson - Rushing Yards
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Sep 9, 2014 15:01
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Arian Foster - rushing yards Fred Jackson - rushing yards Percy Harvin - rushing yards Mike Wallace - receiving yards Jimmy Graham - receiving yards Jake Locker - passing yards tucker number Andrew Luck - passing yards
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Sep 9, 2014 15:15
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That was quick. Peyton Manning - Passing Yards Cam Newton - Passing Yards Marshawn Lynch - Rushing Yards Jamaal Charles - Rushing Yards Dwayne Bowe - Receiving Yards Calvin Johnson - Receiving Yards Golden Tate - Receiving Yards Tucker Number - Jeremy Maclin
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Sep 9, 2014 15:47
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Drew Brees - Passing Yards Aaron Rodgers - Passing Yards Andy Dalton - Passing Yards Tucker Number - Zach Ertz - Receiving Yards
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Sep 9, 2014 16:12
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Great White Hope posted:gently caress everything. So are those receiving yards or rushing yards? 
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Sep 9, 2014 19:11
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axeil posted:So are those receiving yards or rushing yards? They sure as hell aren't return yards!
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Sep 9, 2014 21:39
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The Tennessee Titans Offense - Total Yards Ryan Tannehill - Passing Yards Knowshon Moreno - Rushing Yards RGIII - Rushing Yards Tucker Number: Zach Ertz - Receiving Yards
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Sep 9, 2014 21:46
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EDIT: OLD LIST, new one posted on page 2 Aaron Rodgers - Passing James Starks - Rushing John Kuhn - Rushing DuJuan Harris - Rushing Jordy Nelson - Receiving Randall Cobb - Receiving Jarrett Boykin - Receiving Davante Adams - Receiving Andrew Quarless - Receiving Jeff Janis - Receiving Tucker#: Reggie Wayne, Receiving Fenrir fucked around with this message at 02:26 on Sep 13, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 01:03
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Hey Grozz, my score isn't in the OP. I think I had 985 (Peyton Manning, Luck, Stafford (not my picks for this week)). e: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3661813&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=3#post434573594 Alfred P. Pseudonym fucked around with this message at 01:21 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 01:18
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Alfred P. Pseudonym posted:Hey Grozz, my score isn't in the OP. I think I had 985 (Peyton Manning, Luck, Stafford (not my picks for this week)). Yeah I have you in my scoring doc, must have just glossed over your score when making the OP last night. Apologies, thankfully you scored well so I only have to bump the top few guys up a point.
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Sep 10, 2014 01:53
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ty suh ilu Andy Dalton - passing Matt Ryan - passing Tucker Number: Andrew Luck - passing e:
Big Ol Marsh Pussy fucked around with this message at 02:02 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 01:59
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Drew Brees - Passing Yards Jimmy Graham - Receiving Yards Brandin Cooks - Receiving Yards Pierre Thomas - Receiving Yards Marques Colston - Receiving Yards Mark Ingram - Receiving Yards Calvin Johnson - Receiving Yards Joique Bell - Rushing Yards Reggie Bush - Rushing Yards Tucker Number: Trent Richardson - Rushing Yards Willis Token in play JGKing fucked around with this message at 02:10 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 02:07
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P. Manning - Passing Yards E. Manning - Passing Yards C. Palmer - Passing Yards Tucker: P. Rivers - Passing Yards Betting on Eli Manning not having a good game against a tough PHX Secondary EDIT: -- Revised list below -- Nystral fucked around with this message at 01:07 on Sep 12, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 02:11
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Nystral posted:PALMER!!!! Whew. 4 QBs? You got some BALLS, man.
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Sep 10, 2014 02:21
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Fenrir posted:Whew. 4 QBs? You got some BALLS, man. Damnit now I'm thinking of making it a challenge to find 5 or 6 and not bust. I'm sure it can be done but it would take a lot of luck even picking the terrible guys.
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Sep 10, 2014 02:25
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Fenrir posted:Whew. 4 QBs? You got some BALLS, man. I did 4 QBs last week with token help but those particular 4 might be a bit of a stretch
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Sep 10, 2014 02:28
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IGNORE Bjay9 fucked around with this message at 08:21 on Sep 14, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 02:34
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Carson Palmer - Passing Yards Colin Kaepernick - Passing Yards Mark Ingram - Rushing Yards Giovanni Bernard - Rushing Yards Le'Veon Bell - Rushing Yards Tucker Number - Darren Sproles - Receiving Yards
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Sep 10, 2014 02:41
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Grittybeard posted:Damnit now I'm thinking of making it a challenge to find 5 or 6 and not bust. I'm sure it can be done but it would take a lot of luck even picking the terrible guys. I don't think it would have been possible week 1 unless you were loving clairvoyant and picked both Eli Manning and Aaron Rodgers.
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Sep 10, 2014 03:10
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Fenrir posted:I don't think it would have been possible week 1 unless you were loving clairvoyant and picked both Eli Manning and Aaron Rodgers. Russell Wilson also threw for under 200 yards (and his team still scored 36, because Seahawks) and Kaepernick only had 201. It's not THAT hard to get under 1000 with 4 QBs if you aren't picking guys who obviously regularly throw for 300+ like Stafford and Brees.
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Sep 10, 2014 03:15
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Grozz Nuy posted:Russell Wilson also threw for under 200 yards (and his team still scored 36, because Seahawks) and Kaepernick only had 201. It's not THAT hard to get under 1000 with 4 QBs if you aren't picking guys who obviously regularly throw for 300+ like Stafford and Brees. Yeah, but Gritty said with 5 or 6. You'd have to be a psychic and find the "regular 300+ QB" who doesn't do it that particular week. For week 1 you'd have to have Wilson (somewhat likely), Kaepernick (questionable), Eli (questionable, but new offense, so ???) and Rodgers (who saw sub-200 yards coming even against the Seahawks, really?)... then find ANOTHER QB without busting. Pretty sure 6 was impossible in week 1 unless you count Vick since he did throw one (incomplete) pass e: Wait, nevermind I'm dumb. 6 WAS possible without busting. Vick (0), Hill (81), Carr (151), Eli (163), Cassell (170), Manuel (173) poo poo, if you got them all right you could land 7. Brady (249) makes that a 987
Fenrir fucked around with this message at 03:35 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 03:29
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Fenrir posted:Yeah, but Gritty said with 5 or 6. You'd have to be a psychic and find the "regular 300+ QB" who doesn't do it that particular week.
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Sep 10, 2014 03:30
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Nah, you could have Shaun Hill (although that would be lucky), Carr, Cassel, Manuel and McCown and be reasonably able to defend that you actually expected most of that to happen. 6 is probably too much without the type of clairvoyance you're talking about though.
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Sep 10, 2014 03:33
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I tried to see if I could squeeze in 8 but it was impossible, so I took Brady as the 7th because he was the biggest one I could get in there without a bust. Locker's 266 would have put it at 1004. e: But for real I'd say 5 QBs and make it where they need a minimum of pass attempts. At least like, 8 or 10, so that 0/1 for 0 yards (Vick) doesn't count for free. Specifically because people would just pick Vick every week. Even if he lands a couple, he'll likely never take more than 2-3 attempts a game unless Geno sucks enough rear end to get benched. All that said, my original  to the 4QB post wasn't so much that it was 4QBs but that it was 4 LEGIT QBs that could easily combine for over 1300 yards. I mean, he's got Peyton AND Rivers on the drat thing. And NO TOKEN.
Fenrir fucked around with this message at 03:46 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 03:37
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Matt Ryan - Passing Yards Russell Wilson - Passing Yards Drew Brees - Passing Yards Tucker Number: Lesean Mccoy - Rushing Yards
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Sep 10, 2014 03:41
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gently caress, I ALMOST used Rex, too. Russell Wilson - Passing Yards Percy Harvin - Receiving Yards Matthew Stafford - Passing Yards Marshawn Lynch - Rushing Yards Pierre Garcon - Receiving Yards Pierre Thomas - Receiving Yards Chris Johnson - Receiving Yards Tucker Number - LeSean McCoy - Rushing Yards
Jaysus fucked around with this message at 05:46 on Sep 10, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 03:53
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I know hindsight is 20/20, but gently caress me I should've used the Suh Token Anyways. Drew Brees - Passing Calvin Johnson - Receiving Michael Floyd - Receiving Tucker Number: Andrew Luck - Passing Not making the same mistake twice.
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Sep 10, 2014 04:47
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Brian Hoyer - Passing Yards Jake Locker - Passing Yards Geno Smith - Passing Yards Le'Veon Bell - Rushing Yards Arian Foster - Rushing Yards Greg Jennings - Receiving Yards Tucker Trent Richardson - Rushing Yards let's do this
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Sep 10, 2014 05:08
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Drew Brees -- Passing Yards Jake Locker -- Passing Yards Marshawn Lynch -- Rushing Yards Frank Gore -- Rushing Yards Michael Floyd -- Receiving Yards Justin Hunter -- Receiving Yards Tucker Number: Reggie Wayne -- Receiving Yards
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Sep 10, 2014 05:16
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A.J. Green - Receiving yards Percy Harvin - Rushing yards Marshawn Lynch - Rushing yards Brandin Cooks - Receiving yards Jimmy Graham - Receiving yards Kelvin Benjamin - Receiving yards Colin Kaepernick - Passing yards Aaron Rodgers - Rushing yards Tucker number: Nick Foles - Passing Yards Token: Suh Token
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Sep 10, 2014 06:15
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My first time playing, let's do this! Geno Smith - Passing Yards Chris Johnson - Rushing Yards Chris Ivory - Rushing Yards Eric Decker - Receiving Yards Ryan Tannehill - Passing Yards Tucker Number: Andrew Luck - Passing Yards
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Sep 10, 2014 06:17
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I couldn't find anything in the rules about special teams yardage. Is it ignored?
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Sep 10, 2014 06:37
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Jay Cutler - Passing Yards Tony Romo - Passing Yards Roddy White - Receiving Yards Percy Harvin - Receiving Yards Arian Foster - Rushing Yards Tucker#: Lesean McCoy - Rushing Yards
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Sep 10, 2014 06:45
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Robert Griffin III - Passing Yards Russell Wilson - Passing Yards A.J. Green - Receiving Yards Adrian Peterson - Rushing Yards Reggie Bush - Rushing Yards Arian Foster - Rushing Yards Brandon Marshall - Receiving Yards Tucker Number - LeSean McCoy - Rushing Yards
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Sep 10, 2014 15:42
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 P. Manning - Passing Yards E. Manning - Passing Yards C. Palmer - Passing Yards Tucker: P. Rivers - Passing Yards Betting on Eli Manning not having a good game against a tough PHX Secondary In fact I'm so in love with this list I'm going to up the ante!!! EDIT - Revised again HERE Nystral fucked around with this message at 01:08 on Sep 12, 2014 |
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Sep 10, 2014 15:53
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Nystral posted:PALMER!!!! You are either gonna run away with it this week or bust in hilarious fashion. Cannot wait to see which one. Props though, since you got massive balls going with 4 QBs.
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Sep 10, 2014 17:03
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Apples McGrind posted:You are either gonna run away with it this week or bust in hilarious fashion. Cannot wait to see which one. Props though, since you got massive balls going with 4 QBs. I dunno, based on his fear of a Phoenix secondary, I'm thinking he's just delusional.
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Sep 10, 2014 18:13
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Roumba posted:I couldn't find anything in the rules about special teams yardage. Is it ignored? Passing Rushing Receiving that's it.
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Sep 10, 2014 21:12
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