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Welcome to PS4 Parmos FIFA 15 Edition! What is Parmos? Parmos FC is SomethingAwful’s premier team-based virtual football club. We are a group of goons that play a ridiculous amount of FIFA Pro Clubs because we’re loving awesome and we have a blast doing it. And what exactly is a Parmo? A Parmo is a delicious regional dish from Middlesbrough in England. It consists of deep-fried breaded chicken or pork cutlet, topped with thick béchamel sauce and grilled cheese. It is served with chips, salad & garlic sauce, and popular with alcoholics. Here's a photo:  What is Pro Clubs? Pro Clubs is THE SINGLE GREATEST THING EA HAS EVER CREATED. IT IS THE BEST MODE IN ANY SPORTS GAME, PERIOD. Essentially, you create a Virtual Pro, choose a position and step onto the virtual pitch to go play matches alongside other goons. How do I join? Create a Virtual Pro, search for Parmos FC, and send in a transfer request. What position should I play? Whatever you want, it's a pretty fluid situation up front and in the midfield, and defensive positions are always available. The core of our group has been playing together since FIFA 11 (we’re still bad), so regardless; a good time will be had. When does Parmos play? Weekdays: 5 – 11PM EST Weekends: Anytime usually late into the night. Do I need a microphone? The PS4 comes with a microphone so use it as it's a lot easier to play with goons if you can communicate. If you don’t have or don’t want to use a microphone, that's ok, just don’t be bad. Launch Day Stuff Your Virtual Pro will start off at 76 rated overall. You should head over to the catalogue section and buy all the boosts and you should be able to get up to an 80. If you're too low of a level and can’t buy certain boosts just ask some of the veterans, add ‘em to friends and they should be able to buy you the ones you’re missing. Controls We don't know them General Tips This is nothing like Xbox Parmos full of mindless football and selfish shenanigans. Run into space. Pass the ball. Pass the ball to Own. Play like a loving team. Anyone can take a dumb shot from 30 yards away, you're not special. Give up good shots to get great shots. Once we’re up 3-0, we can gently caress around and do crazy tricks and poo poo. Use your brain. Think about what you're gonna do before you receive the ball. Get that early cross in. Shut your mouth and know your role. Anticipate opponents tackles so you don’t lose the ball and therefore we won’t hate you. L1 + Triangle has been nerfed so quit spamming that poo poo every 5 seconds. Parmos is really addicting because we actually try to play like a team that passes the ball and play unselfish football (most of the time) Don’t hog one position and get pissy if you can't always play striker. Move around, change roles, be a swiss army knife. Avoid actively coaching during games. Avoid making a 7 ft 5 inch Frankenstein that fucks up trick moves on breakaways and says sorry 30 times a game. Refrain from publicly ripping fellow goons, try to keep it to private messages (guilty  )Use your microphone (unless of course we can't loving understand a single goddamn thing that comes out of your mouth) Parmos has various therapeutic benefits, do NOT take it for granted. We love crack stories. And last but not least, let the rhythm take you over
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Sep 21, 2014 06:13
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Is the consensus that we're making seperate Euro and American teams?
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Sep 21, 2014 09:33
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Also why did no one inform me of these postslolsonic posted:can't wait to meet the new weirdos that join our crew in 15 Duncan Sperguson posted:Taff is getting it on PS4. TAFF TheBigAristotle posted:I've always wanted to play with someone from the FIFA thread that talks hella poo poo. Have you ever played him h2h?
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Sep 21, 2014 09:34
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The classic 3-5-2 set up as always I hope!
Fluo fucked around with this message at 12:21 on Sep 21, 2014 |
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Sep 21, 2014 12:13
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"Satan awakens all his legions, who lay till then in the same manner confounded.They rise: their chief leaders named, according to the idols known afterwards in Canaan and the countries adjoining. To these Satan directs his speech; comforts them with hope yet of regaining Heaven; but tells them, lastly, of a new world..." Judging from the demo, it looks like fake shots in the box got buffed - the animation is much quicker so it's easy to get an angle on the keeper and finesse one in.
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Sep 21, 2014 13:32
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*cues up Enrique Iglesias*
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Sep 21, 2014 13:49
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See y'all Tuesday
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Sep 21, 2014 14:25
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NattyBo posted:See y'all Tuesday Make sure there is space for me when it comes out here on Friday!
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Sep 21, 2014 15:13
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Never apologize.
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Sep 21, 2014 17:27
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The Big Taff Man posted:Also why did no one inform me of these posts you failed to quote my next post in which i said i look forward to playing with the big taff man in a euro parmos though i think i cant do late nights anymore
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Sep 21, 2014 19:43
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Euro parmo will tear us apart...what kind of currency will we use?! Etc... Actually I don't give crap, if we have enough it makes sense, just not sure.
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Sep 21, 2014 22:35
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Ive had a report filed for me by a ps3 parmo who I trust and he's let me know who the good players are and who the bad players are and quite frakly I think its best we split apart, tho you can have fluo. I cant say who my source is, Andre Le Fuckface made me promise not to tell.
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Sep 22, 2014 02:21
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American Parmos is the best Parmos And the Euro's can always come join us later on once they realize they're not having any fun
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Sep 22, 2014 03:52
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lolsonic posted:American Parmos is the best Parmos IDK about this. I read some of the dramas you guys had in the thread and they seemed pretty unfun? lolsonic posted:And the Euro's can always come join us later on once they realize they're not having any fun I figured we were splitting because of numbers, but if theres not enough then I guess play together? Just a bit frustrating when you get on and then have to play in goal because theres 10 people on already. (Also because Americans are bad at fifa)
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Sep 22, 2014 10:51
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The Big Taff Man posted:Ive had a report filed for me by a ps3 parmo who I trust and he's let me know who the good players are and who the bad players are and quite frakly I think its best we split apart, tho you can have fluo. A lot of the bad parmo players kind of fizzled out over the years, there is one who pops up once in a while in the fifa/parmo threads getting angsty because we wouldn't pass the ball to his 6'7" striker. I mostly play with Americans in Parmo 14 anyway so I'm cool with that, the banter is great on the US Parmo!
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Sep 22, 2014 11:02
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Idk about this I was told, and this is a direct quote "NattyBo is loving awful and plays like he's got no thumbs" I mean I cant comment because Ive not played with any of you.
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Sep 22, 2014 11:07
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*in fluo voice* top banter
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Sep 22, 2014 11:08
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Andre Le Fuckface posted:*in fluo voice* top banter *in fluo voice* mmfhfmh fhmhfmf mfhmmmfhmhfmh beer mhfmfmf (because you can't understand what he says)
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Sep 22, 2014 11:11
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The Big Taff Man posted:Idk about this I was told, and this is a direct quote "NattyBo is loving awful and plays like he's got no thumbs" I can't talk about ps3 era, but last season in fifa14 he was awesome. #420sweg
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Sep 22, 2014 11:13
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Duncan Sperguson posted:*in fluo voice* Yeah, thick Bristolian accent.
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Sep 22, 2014 11:14
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Parmos used to be drama-free fwiw Euro Parms makes me sad, but I understand the reasons, late nights, bitterness over the whole colonies thing, collapsing empire, etc etc. I'll miss Jay and Dopee, you guys are p good and solid dudes
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Sep 22, 2014 14:12
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TheBigAristotle posted:Parmos used to be drama-free fwiw So was the Xbox version, I dont know why you guys think its so controversial TheBigAristotle posted:Euro Parms makes me sad, but I understand the reasons, late nights, bitterness over the whole colonies thing, collapsing empire, etc etc. etc etc = not enjoying relegations, liking playing with good players TheBigAristotle posted:I'll miss Jay and Dopee, you guys are p good and solid dudes No ones stopping people from transfering! I know Americans who play on Euro time In fact we dont have to do it at all, I just thought there was a concensus
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Sep 22, 2014 14:23
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We could just make it the one club and then play at different times, but I think the Euro lot will get bored of bailing you out of division 6 all the time
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Sep 22, 2014 14:25
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Yeah, those are fighting words
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Sep 22, 2014 14:26
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So as a Canadian, do I go with the American or Euro Parmos? This is like when my parents divorced and they made me choose between them.
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Sep 22, 2014 14:28
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Duncan Sperguson posted:We could just make it the one club and then play at different times, but I think the Euro lot will get bored of bailing you out of division 6 all the time When they added only 1 team playing at the same time was when we split last time, as it was annoying to not be able to play as there was too many people on I dont think any of the Xbox people I played with took it too seriously (since Hardflip left) but no one likes losing due to bad players as opposed to being unlucky.
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Sep 22, 2014 14:29
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Uniballer posted:So as a Canadian, do I go with the American or Euro Parmos? This is like when my parents divorced and they made me choose between them. Who did you choose?
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Sep 22, 2014 14:30
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Is there an easy way to get higher skill moves on my pro, I always feel limited in my ability to look fully sick while playing because the game doesn't let me do the cool moves
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Sep 22, 2014 14:31
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My dad because he was working most of the time, and I could Smoke Weed 420 Everyday. I was 17 at the time.
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Sep 22, 2014 14:32
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Used to be you could just do juggling tricks in the arena to get 5 stars but now I think it's like "Use skill to go around 50 players" type poo poo, so you have to let it level a bit. I got mine up pretty high by doing a few pub matches and spamming stepovers while I watched Preppers on Netflix.
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Sep 22, 2014 14:33
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The Big Taff Man posted:When they added only 1 team playing at the same time was when we split last time, as it was annoying to not be able to play as there was too many people on PS4 Americans aren't like Xbox Americans, Parmo in FIFA14 ended with me and Americans still playing everyone else bailed for games like Watch Dogs.
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Sep 22, 2014 14:33
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The Big Taff Man posted:
Well I work 9-5 EST, and for all I know, I could have a bad rap on that secret scouting report of yours. Also to the point about getting relegated, Parmos first team (you know who you are) was always in the top 3 divisions, or dragging the club back up anyway
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Sep 22, 2014 14:36
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We had lots of good times and very little drama in the PS4 Parmos Virtual Club, from what I remember. Decent amount of coughing and my SO occasionally asking "What are you ripping?" e: Did we ever even get below 3rd div?
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Sep 22, 2014 14:37
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Andre Le Fuckface posted:Is there an easy way to get higher skill moves on my pro, I always feel limited in my ability to look fully sick while playing because the game doesn't let me do the cool moves You can either ask someone higher level than you to gift you some buffs/moves, but generally over time you will unlock traits like bicycle kick, skilled dribbling and such. You can only have five active at a time though, I normally went Acrobatic Clearance, Swerve Pass, Fancy Flicks and such. http://fifaaddiction.com/pro-and-clubs/traits-explained/ From fifa14. The easy way would be just to play random pubby matches when no Parmos are around.
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Sep 22, 2014 14:37
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Fluo posted:You can either ask someone higher level than you to gift you some buffs/moves, but generally over time you will unlock traits like bicycle kick, skilled dribbling and such. You can only have five active at a time though, I normally went Acrobatic Clearance, Swerve Pass, Fancy Flicks and such. http://fifaaddiction.com/pro-and-clubs/traits-explained/ From fifa14. he means actual skill moves not traits, he wants a 5 star skiller so he can do double mcgeady turns like he does in h2h to make me ragequit
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Sep 22, 2014 14:39
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TheBigAristotle posted:Well I work 9-5 EST, and for all I know, I could have a bad rap on that secret scouting report of yours. The report mainly says "put fluo and nattybo on mute so you dont have to listen to boring brewing chat" Andre Le Fuckface posted:Is there an easy way to get higher skill moves on my pro, I always feel limited in my ability to look fully sick while playing because the game doesn't let me do the cool moves Lots of fake shots to get the numbers of "evaded player with skill" stats up usually. I havent seen a list of the achievements for your pro Fluo posted:You can either ask someone higher level than you to gift you some buffs/moves, but generally over time you will unlock traits like bicycle kick, skilled dribbling and such. You can only have five active at a time though, I normally went Acrobatic Clearance, Swerve Pass, Fancy Flicks and such. http://fifaaddiction.com/pro-and-clubs/traits-explained/ From fifa14. youre talking abotu something completely different
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Sep 22, 2014 14:40
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Duncan Sperguson posted:he means actual skill moves not traits, he wants a 5 star skiller so he can do double mcgeady turns like he does in h2h to make me ragequit Certain achievements give you stars, it's usually doing skill moves around opponents. So it's still easiest to go into a pub match and spam stepover, after you get your friends to gift you boosts and whatnot. I really do miss pulling the packaging off of a new Fifa game and immediately loading up arena to do keepy uppy until I had 5 stars. e: People can't gift you stars on your skill moves, but gifting you acceleration etc. will make it easier for you to ding the achievements that do give you stars.
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Sep 22, 2014 14:41
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black.lion posted:Certain achievements give you stars, it's usually doing skill moves around opponents. So it's still easiest to go into a pub match and spam stepover, after you get your friends to gift you boosts and whatnot. hmm ok ill do this and light up the pro world with my Ronaldo chops ftw
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Sep 22, 2014 14:42
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Duncan Sperguson posted:he means actual skill moves not traits, he wants a 5 star skiller so he can do double mcgeady turns like he does in h2h to make me ragequit Ohhh
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Sep 22, 2014 14:43
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black.lion posted:We had lots of good times and very little drama in the PS4 Parmos Virtual Club, from what I remember. Decent amount of coughing and my SO occasionally asking "What are you ripping?" Yes. It was mostly Div 1-3, but every so often there would be a meltdown and we'd fall to like Div 6. The Big Taff Man posted:The report mainly says "put fluo and nattybo on mute so you dont have to listen to boring brewing chat" lol I'm aware of some beer chat, but not enough to elicit a mute. Then again, Fluos' accent is strong, it could have just flown under the radar
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Sep 22, 2014 14:45
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