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 The funniest show on television returns for a second season on Sunday 28th September, 8:30pm EST on FOX. Normally this would be the bit where I try to sell you on the show but instead I'm just going to do this: DCI Jake Peralta (Andy Samberg)  “Don’t worry; I know what I’m doing. I saw the first 15 minutes of The Hurt Locker.”  “I am flummoxed! That's a word I learned for this party, and I am it!”  “Actually, someone reported that they couldn’t find your head. But we found it; it was up your butt. You’re a fireman, you should know how to treat that burn.” Cpt. Ray Holt (Andre Braugher)  “My software is due for an exuberance upgrade.”  “I haven't had milk - a beverage I love - for 19 years. Nineteen milkless years I've gone, but for some reason I can't...quit...Cwazy Cupcakes.“  “You know what the hardest thing about being a gay black police officer is? The discrimination.” DCI Amy Santiago (Melissa Fumero)  “Oh no...Santiago in B-flat! You're disappointed!”  “Yes, 911? What's the safest way to set a car on fire?”  “This is my second. ...Ok, it's my fourth!” Sgt. Terry Jeffords (Terry Crews)  “Can we please eat?! My body is starting to digest itself. Terry needs nutrients!”  “I was working out and saw a muscle in my shoulder that I’d never seen before. I thought it might have been a scientific discovery.”  “Hey guys, pro tip. Lick the baggie. There’s food molecules in there.” DCI Charles Boyle (Joe Lo Truglio)  “That’s right! Just kicked Santa in the testicles.”  “My doctor said that if the bullet was a fraction to the left and two feet up, it would have hit my brain!”  “The inside of your cheeks are very sensitive. It’s like the inside of your thighs, but with tongue.” DCI Rosa Diaz (Stephanie Beatriz)  “Blink twice if you'd like me to mercy kill you.”  “I'm gonna wait till I'm on my deathbed, get in the last word and then die immediately.”  "Fear is a powerful aphrodisiac." Gina Linetti (Chelsea Peretti)  “Breakups are a cartoony thumbs down. They make people feel face-with-Xs-for-the-eyes.”  “That was before I knew I could get up on this high horse. Love the view up here. Clip clop!”  “My mother cried when I was born because she knew that she'd never be better than me.” DCI Hitchcock (Dirk Blocker)  “Oh yeah, this is happening.” DCI Scully (Joel McKinnon Miller)  “You said so many things about shorts, I got confused.”
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Sep 21, 2014 16:48
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 22:34 |
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Toxxupation posted:Just fyi rarity b99 isn't the funniest show on television Brock Samson posted:It just says no one likes you.
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Oct 13, 2014 08:16
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One of the items on the list for Jake was No Kwazy Cupcakes 
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Dec 15, 2014 09:12
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Melissa Fumero should be in everything ever
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Jan 5, 2015 09:44
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Jan 17, 2015 21:28
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DarklyDreaming posted:Are your senses heightened? I wasn't bitten by a radioactive spider! Really good episode, all the Rosa/Holt scenes were gold.
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Apr 27, 2015 09:01
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| # ¿ May 17, 2024 22:34 |
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May 6, 2015 09:43
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