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Hi SA - Recently I took in a male (neutered, older adult) stray cat from my neighborhood. I have two other female (both spayed, young adults) cats that I've had for 2+ years that get along fine. The male is super affectionate - I fell in love with him immediately. He is very sweet and the thought of giving him up makes me sick. However, there have been some problems. We've had the male cat for about a month. He spends all day wedged behind the toilet and it's impossible to coax him out. You can reach behind the toilet & pet him, and he purrs like crazy & loves the attention. He doesn't seem to mind the females, but the one girl is always hissy and swatty at him. It seems like she is starting to warm up a little, but very slowly. When he does get brave enough to come out and sleep in the chair or sofa, he doesn't seem to be too scared. Sudden movements or noises make him very skittish though & he won't be there for long. I've seen him use the litterboxes, the same ones our females use - but recently he has taken to pooping and peeing all over the laundry basket and shoes. We have to lock him out of our room now. I haven't seen any inappropriate accidents downstairs yet. The poop and pee on my clothes drives me crazy. He is also sick - he has been to the vet twice for cold symptoms that we treated with antibiotics, but he still has nasty sneezing fits with snot & still seems kind of lethargic at times. He tested negative for FIV & FeLV, had basic shots and was dewormed. His eating and drinking is fine, but I don't have the financial resources for continuous vet visits. I'm starting to think he would be better in a single cat home, with someone who has better resources to take care of him. But the thought of giving him up makes me feel awful & I have no idea what to do. 
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Oct 26, 2014 20:15
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| # ? May 14, 2024 15:24 |
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I don't think a month is all that long in terms of 'my cat is super shy' but I'm sure other posters will know more. My sister took in a rescue cat and it took him longer than that to become a ridiculous cuddlebug.
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Oct 26, 2014 21:54
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Have you tried putting him in his own room- like a guest room or something- for awhile? Put a separate litter box, bowls, toys, etc. in there and let it just be his private space (keep the door closed) until he feels confident there. Then slowly introduce him to the cats and house at large.
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Oct 26, 2014 22:28
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HopperUK - My other two cats started to warm up super quickly, so I guess I'm not used him taking so long to come around. I'm not sure that he has ever been indoors so it will probably take him a long time. Radio! - We had him secluded in our bedroom with a separate litter box and food for a week, and by the seventh day he roaming around really freely. Then we introduced him to the bathroom and the other cats for a few days. All seemed to be okay besides a few hisses, so that's when we opened the door so he could see the rest of our small apartment. Soon after he decided that behind the toilet was his safe spot. He's never hissed or swatted at the other two, but I think he might be kind of afraid of them. It may explain why he avoided the downstairs litter boxes?
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Oct 26, 2014 22:52
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If locking him out of that one room keeps him from peeing on things I'd say you're on the right track and you did a good thing, OP. Everything else seems pretty normal for an unsocialized cat coming in for maybe the first time, better than most in fact. Keep up your patience and be vigilant on the pee situation.
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Oct 27, 2014 03:56
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You never really know with cats, I think. One of ours spent the first six months that we had her terrified of everything and everyone -- she'd snuggle now and then, but she'd usually hide, and wail. We were very patient with her, coaxing her out, letting her retreat when she needed to, and just accepting that she needed space. And then she just blossomed and became the cuddliest lapcat ever. She sleeps on my rib cage, she lets us pick her up and carry her around like she's a baby, complete cuddlebug. It's a different situation, since she was our only cat at the time. And the second cat is very antisocial (not in a bad, Does Not Play Well With Others way, just more introverted) and I made the mistake of thinking that she just needed warm fuzzies and reassurances to become cuddly, too, but Emmers just does not want to cuddle. I agree that a month isn't very long, at this point. Give it some time. He might also just be a very sneezy sort of cat, although I've never had ones that sneezed up snot.
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Oct 30, 2014 11:27
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| # ? May 14, 2024 15:24 |
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You may need to start over and isolate him in his own room with his own litter box again until he is more comfortable. One week to introduce an outdoor cat to two indoor ones is a really short time. Try putting him in the isolation room for a while, and if you can, get a baby gate. We've introduced cats twice using a gate and it's worked well. We cracked the door a bit for a few days with the gate in place, and then we had the door open with the gate for short periods of time, then the door open for longer periods of time (supervised since they can jump over) with the gate. We did the actual introductions super slow, too. We isolated our other cats and let the new one explore the house on their own for a while, and face-to-face stuff came in short moments at first. With the gate in place, we tried giving the cats treats near each side of the gate so they would eat near each other, and after the face-to-face encounters were more comfortable, we played with the cats with string or the laser. The first time we did this it was with an old cat who had been indoors all his life and a younger female cat. It took forever, about two months, until we felt comfortable having them roaming free all the time. The second time we introduced the female to another old male cat and that only took a couple of weeks because she was much more accepting than our first cat was. Pay attention to the cat's behavior before you take it to the next step, don't rush things. Introduction can take a really long time. Lots of people praise Feliway diffusers. We tried that and it helped our female cat but not the male.
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Oct 30, 2014 18:51
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