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I don't see the Headlines archives on the Tonight Show website, any more. Does anyone know if they are still around? I happen to think the headlines segments were hilarious. I'd try the Wayback Machine, but I don't even have the old URL, and the Wayback Machine is lovely with archiving images.
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Nov 12, 2014 02:49
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Henchman of Santa posted:This was a plot point in a Curb Your Enthusiasm episode, except I think it was on the gravestone. No, it was in the obituary. That screenshot is actually from Curb Your Enthusiasm.
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Nov 26, 2014 23:31
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jillyputty posted:Actually started crying laughing when I saw this one. A man more than half the age of the universe, remarkable. He doesn't look a day over 2^33-5.972*10^7.
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Dec 7, 2014 18:30
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AlbieQuirky posted:gently caress Toddlers and Tiaras, this is a great reality TV concept! I have a friend who is producing a pilot and episodes of almost that exact thing. It's 9-13-year-olds instead of toddlers, though.
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Jan 20, 2015 06:43
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Blurred posted:*George enters looking tired and dishevelled* This is accurate to within .01 of a George/Seinfeld interaction.
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Jan 30, 2015 06:11
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ThePlague-Daemon posted:Why not? I hate it when they give cryptic advice and don't explain why you should follow it.
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Feb 1, 2015 05:07
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Gabi, you have an appointment with the school counselor on Monday. Also on Tuesday, and Wednesday. You speak with an agent and publisher on Thursday.
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Feb 2, 2015 03:19
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Karma Monkey posted:Nice outfit, Dr. Jaeks! You must be dealing with sissy owls, then. The burrowing owls in South Florida will swarm your rear end. It's illegal to do anything but run like a bitch when the owls attack. On some golf courses, panicked grown men fleeing owls is an everyday site.  Wrong neighborhood, etc.
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Feb 7, 2015 02:17
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It's weird that I've seen maybe hundreds of owls in my lifetime in many areas and neither myself nor anyone I know has ever been attacked by owls, including these "extremely territorial" species. Then again, no one I know is a Packers super fan costume designer.
LucyWanabe posted:It's a bit of a relief to know that getting drunk and doing something stupid isn't limited to the human species. I think Oompa-loompas are human.
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Feb 9, 2015 00:10
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John Big Booty posted:Isn't that just Welsh? Not enough double-ls.
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Mar 23, 2015 00:25
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Besesoth posted:
The kid was obviously hoping for a Vulcan. It's nice of him to make the Captain feel loved, anyway.
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Mar 27, 2015 02:08
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Chief Mouser to the Cabinet Office; Incumbent: Larry. The cat tradition goes back to Cardinal Wolsey, holy poo poo. I also love the "Prime Minister(s)" block. Winston Churchill Winston Churchill Winston Churchill Winston Churchill (no Winston Churchill) Winston Churchill Edit: Tiggum posted:It's just a normal name though. Maybe in your uncivilized backwater. Around these parts, we give our kids real names, like Kash-with-a-K, Jet, Zaiden, and Sierah. Centripetal Horse has a new favorite as of 06:33 on Apr 23, 2015 |
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Apr 23, 2015 06:30
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By Jimmy James, author of Super Karate Monkey Death Car. Well, really it's Jimmy James: Macho Business Donkey Wrestler, but who's keeping score?
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May 4, 2015 02:30
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May 29, 2015 10:44
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syscall girl posted:Is that the girl in Dead Like Me getting wasted by the space toilet? Indeed.
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May 29, 2015 22:40
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It's like a grownup version of "Bully not so tough after being molested."
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Jun 13, 2015 05:55
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Istari posted:Yeah, they're pretty common here in Australia. But they mostly stick to the outback. If you had also said they were poisonous, everyone would have believed you.
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Jul 1, 2015 12:29
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corn in the bible posted:While silly, that headline appears to be 100% accurate Except for the part where it's likely that the "ginger" thing was total horseshit, and the airline just wanted to boot someone from an overbooked flight without having to take responsibility or provide compensation. There's no way any airline with a fleet consisting or more than one puddle-jumper doesn't see thousands of redheads per year. Anything's possible, but "genuinely can't tell the difference between a redhead and an Ebola victim" seems less likely than "some other reason." Edit: vv Lol, sorry. Centripetal Horse has a new favorite as of 12:46 on Jul 13, 2015 |
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Jul 13, 2015 12:32
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Travis343 posted:Hot off the presses: Jamie Lee Curtis attends EVO 2015 disguised as Street Fighter's Vega I always suspected she was pretty cool.
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Jul 19, 2015 03:02
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Behotti posted:I didn't know there was a language based off of a pastry. quote:John Fitzgibbons, Lafave's lawyer, stated, "To place Debbie into a Florida state women's penitentiary, to place an attractive young woman in that kind of hellhole, is like putting a piece of raw meat in with the lions." What a piece of poo poo lawyer. How did he not say "lionesses?"
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Aug 6, 2015 21:15
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Invisble Manuel posted:"Caravan 'suitable for affairs or murders' for sale on eBay" It's the stuff good BFC "Bad with Money" posts are made of.
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Aug 28, 2015 18:10
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Say Nothing posted:Also, Tyson couldn't beat a gorilla even if he had a gun. "Mofokeng was later convicted of rape, robbery and wounding a gorilla." Edit: It is not clear if the gorilla was the victim in all three crimes.
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Sep 16, 2015 02:41
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Martinpale posted:I actually gained a ton of respect for Pitbull for that..his music may suck, but goddamn if he can't take a joke well. Dude handled it like a champ. He makes music? All I can hear when I watch his videos is what's left of my blood supply pounding in my ears.
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Mar 21, 2016 05:17
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Hitler sent the leader of the Woofwaffe to Barkenwald for just such an offense. Let's try to cram more than one into each post, so we can get this over with.
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May 14, 2016 09:52
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dumb. posted:Agent Hitler, FBI. It's getting to the point where I can recognize Danger 5 screen shots, even though I've never seen the show.
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May 28, 2016 18:08
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Croisquessein posted:I don't know if it's the fashion or the art style, but women always look badass in old-timey newspapers. I think it's because they're always being depicted as feeding their husbands nourishing knuckle sandwiches.
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Jun 4, 2016 06:35
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Pigsfeet on Rye posted:Nelson Hidalgo, my rear end, that poo poo's pure Red Green. There has to be an episode where he did that. Also, why is having eighty speakers in your van illegal? Is 79 OK? pookel posted:Can't tell if this is serious, but no. Who the gently caress is PCOSBill? Let's just say the comparison was not flattering.
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Jun 23, 2016 02:45
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This is actually kind of endearing. quote:The incident occurred on the morning of July 29, when a man, surnamed Li What are the chances? quote:“There’s no turtle in there, just a hamburger,” Li reportedly insisted. “There’s nothing special to see inside.” I love it.
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Aug 7, 2016 03:51
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