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Mezzanine posted:He's lying. He didn't win He's alive and Hitler is dead, so.
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Nov 24, 2014 02:12
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gently caress Toddlers and Tiaras, this is a great reality TV concept!
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Jan 20, 2015 01:35
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Karma Monkey posted:Nice outfit, Dr. Jaeks! The owl is the reincarnated spirit of Joan Rivers, dealing out retribution for his crimes against fashion.
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Feb 7, 2015 04:21
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It's weird that I've seen maybe hundreds of owls in my lifetime in many areas and neither myself nor anyone I know has ever been attacked by owls, including these "extremely territorial" species. Then again, no one I know is a Packers super fan costume designer.
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Frostwerks posted:Joan Rivers was never this funny. You're supposed to level up when you reincarnate. Owl's voice also less annoying.
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Feb 7, 2015 04:55
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22 Eargesplitten posted:The best thing about that story for me is that Fort Collins is a town of 120,000 people, and that isn't even their biggest festival. Smash Mouth fell so far that they are playing second-rate festivals in a college town while all the students are gone for the summer. Five years until they're opening for Juice Newton at the Topsfield Fair.
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Jun 16, 2015 21:30
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Rysithusiku posted:She hit the same moose, on the same road, at the same time of day iirc Nah, the first sister's moose died.
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Jun 17, 2015 00:52
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Wheat Loaf posted:Dennis the Menace used to have a pet pig called Rasher. Not our Dennis the Menace  The UK Dennis the Menace is more menacing. The U.S. Dennis the Menace is mostly just annoying.
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Aug 2, 2015 18:29
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What would we even do in the U.S.? "scorched my schlong"? "torched my tool"?
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Aug 10, 2015 21:21
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"At first glans" is nicely done.
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Aug 15, 2015 04:31
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Alabaster White posted:What's stranger: that a man attacked someone with a banana, or that he managed to do it in such a way as to qualify for a news piece and (presumably) mugshot? Never underestimate the superpowers of FloridaMan.
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Aug 25, 2015 17:09
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Samovar posted:I'm just wondering why that sailor's wearing flares. "Bell bottom trousers and coat of navy blue," you know? That's what the Navy was doing then.
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Nov 6, 2015 20:56
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Chuck Tingle! Paging Chuck Tingle!
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Dec 14, 2015 03:17
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Tardigrade posted:Stalin 'used secret laboratory to analyse Mao's excrement' This is one of the greatest headlines ever.
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Jan 28, 2016 23:31
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I imagine all of WheatLoaf's posts as read by Malcolm Tucker, but this is the very best one yet.
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Feb 8, 2016 11:41
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These new Dr. Seuss books are daring!
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Feb 13, 2016 03:45
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Terror In The Chippy is my new band name.
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Feb 15, 2016 18:55
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Zamboni_Rodeo posted:Is it just me, or does her head look abnormally small for her body? Goddamned Zika virus Doritos.
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Feb 15, 2016 19:21
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That is pretty huge for an rear end copier.
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Feb 28, 2016 22:49
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PCapgras Syndrome
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Mar 13, 2016 08:38
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Massachusetts has 55 cities. But I bet the actual quote referred to both cities and towns, of which there are 351.
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Mar 17, 2016 02:52
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kalstrams posted:I don't get it. Somebody pulled up a Photoshopped joke image instead of an actual ad. "So good, you'll suck dick" has not yet become the standard to which actual ad agencies have descended.
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Mar 19, 2016 01:10
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"I'm Christ's bride! You're just Christ's side piece!"
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Jun 5, 2016 03:49
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catlord posted:These really are are amazing. I love it when they get posted. Everybody knows you never make the bear ride bitch. That guy must be new.
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Jun 7, 2016 03:37
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Drop that economic bass.
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Jun 12, 2016 21:07
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Tracula posted:
I think the Irish writer is being provocative on purpose?
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Jul 2, 2016 01:24
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That first one is just a racist joke about Irish people. Ha, ha, it is hilarious that they are maimed and illiterate and cohabiting out of wedlock!
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Jul 13, 2016 05:16
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Nckdictator posted:'Eh, the guy gives a source. That said since it's secondhand you're likely right. The Clonmel Journal didn't exist until 1798, so I think the 1795 Hull Advertiser guy was just trying to be hilarious. Ly racist.
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Jul 13, 2016 22:46
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Geokinesis posted:Shame they are on the RSPB redlist in the UK, as well as sparrows and multitude of other birds. http://www.rspb.org.uk/Images/birdsofconservationconcern4_tcm9-410743.pdf Starlings and English sparrows are invasive species here, so have your bird people come and get as many as they like.
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Jul 16, 2016 04:47
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He killed the flamingo. 
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Aug 4, 2016 18:14
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Solice Kirsk posted:You'd think the widows peaks, giant collard capes, and ancient cursed amulets would have been enough warning signs. "Collard capes" is the best typo. I love the idea of Dracula swanning around draped in greens.
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Nov 13, 2016 06:34
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Circuitjerky posted:Regarding the Pizza ID. Amherst is a town built on its single college that has a reputation for being a party school. I've heard of stupider things than this coming out of there. This i believe, and if the event in this story didnt happen, then someone really similar has and that's good enough for me. There are two colleges in Amherst: UMass and Amherst College  . But that girl sounds more like a Hampshire College type in any case. She'll probably turn in the rest of the pizza as her senior thesis.
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Nov 28, 2016 19:00
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Nieuw Amsterdam posted:THREE colleges. I was making a childishly mean joke about Hampshire College with the whole post.
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Nov 30, 2016 17:14
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Absurd Alhazred posted:Dover Kosashvili is highly-regarded. I liked the ones where global search and replace led to stuff like "Tyson Homosexual" (for Tyson Gay) or "the local government is now in the African American" but I am easily amused.
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Dec 6, 2016 15:44
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chitoryu12 posted:Which thread is going to reveal to someone that Carrie Fisher died today? The Star Citizen thread bummed out at least three posters so far with the news.
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Dec 28, 2016 04:10
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That made my night. How I love that kind of thing. "Mrs. Battenburg" is lovely, as is the Deuteronomy business.
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Jan 14, 2017 02:45
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Weembles posted:If it had happened in the US he would have been shot not tasered. Pretty sure that was 
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Jan 21, 2017 00:24
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That headline is a gross oversimplification of a fairly complex reclassification that made a huge difference in how people with those issues received treatment and insurance coverage, but on the other hand bad headlines gotta bad headline. I'm embarrassed that it's one of my local stations, which is usually not stupid despite being a Fox.
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Jan 28, 2017 05:35
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chitoryu12 posted:Those are definitely not "suspicious males". Bulls in drag are ultra-suspicious. Nice tuck game, though.
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Feb 21, 2017 07:43
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china bot posted:when he died they washed him out with a hose  and also I am disappointed you beat me to it
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Mar 17, 2017 00:09
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GrossMurpel posted:This sounds like a pretty good game of Clue. Colonel Mustard always has to go there, doesn't he?
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Mar 26, 2017 19:09
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