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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Scott Walker is a reincarnation of Warren 'I have no idea what I'm doing here' Harding.

# ¿ Jun 17, 2016 17:11

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 13:10

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

paranoid randroid posted:

that would be the smart thing to do

which is why trump wont do it

If the plan requires Trump to stay out of the spotlight and not get attention, the plan will fail because that is all that fucker wants to do forever.

# ¿ Aug 4, 2016 04:08

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Tainen posted:

Probably keeping quiet since the court just released some texts between his staffers texting each other during his Bridgette conference concerned that he lied about his involvement.

https://twitter.com/mattkatz00/status/763352219294982144

Why the gently caress wouldn't you delete these texts. Who keeps those around. "This incriminating evidence where we hope they don't find the other incriminating evidence to prove our guy was lying sure is important to keep for posterity!"

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 14:13

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Sweetgrass posted:

The single best argument against every conspiracy theory on earth is that people are immensely loving stupid about the simplest things like this; they make poor decisions like keeping texts like those out of sheer laziness or forgetfulness, or just plain rationalizing that they'll never see the light of day.

Plus come on these are the staffers for a vindictive fatass who shut down a bridge for political retaliation, they probably thought they were invincible to start with to even have the balls to pull a move like that. What's some shady emails in comparison?

Sometimes it feels like conspiracy theory is something people do to comfort themselves. "Everything isn't rudderless and insane, there really is a secret cabal of super-powerful lizard people in charge of everything, someone's got a hand on the wheel and everything is planned and deliberate.", you know?

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 14:42

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Slate Action posted:

Huh?!?

https://twitter.com/realDonaldTrump/status/763477408909500416

I guess he's claiming the Secret Service didn't tell him he did a nono.

# ¿ Aug 10, 2016 21:51

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

etalian posted:

Manafort was excited to work for Trump since he has lots of experience in working with authoritarian shitheads with dubious artistic taste.

The best part is how he can't actually handle Trump.

TRUMP is the bridge too far for a dictator-whisperer. :sad:

:sad:

# ¿ Aug 15, 2016 02:36

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Montasque posted:

Hillary told a black audience she keeps hot sauce in her purse.

I can't wait for Trump to bring a watermelon on stage and eat it at the black church.

Didn't it turn out she actually does keep hot sauce in her purse, though, because she really likes hot sauce?

# ¿ Aug 29, 2016 21:32

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

zoux posted:

Are they the same firm that does the Reuters state trackers

They're the ones who are assuming record low minority turnout and record high white turnout, if I recall.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2016 22:45

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Ouhei posted:

Jesus, that swing in the numbers: July29-Aug18: Trump +16 -> Aug5-25: Clinton +2. Also weird that their polls would overlap like that but what do I know.

This is because this is Reuters and they apparently changed their entire methodology a couple weeks ago and it's been bringing back absolutely insane shifts, swings, and madness.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2016 13:13

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Nitrousoxide posted:

What the gently caress happened to generate 1.5k posts overnight?

Full Fascism Now.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2016 13:37

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Nitrousoxide posted:

What happened?

Trump was sleepy as hell in Mexico and then went absolutely batshit in the speech later that night promising stuff like 'anyone who is arrested gets deported instantly' and 'deport Hillary'.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2016 13:40

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Ouhei posted:

It's super weird because some of the results seem fairly in-line with what other pollsters are getting, but others are way out of the norm.

The sample size for every one of those little state polls is like 100 people because it's the 100 people from that state they asked for their national poll of like 5-6 thousand, they just also publish the state results as if they were full polls.

I have no idea what the gently caress is with Reuters.

# ¿ Sep 1, 2016 13:57

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

prefect posted:

The national economic implications of a taco truck on every corner

The first question we must answer is how many trucks we're talking about. A corner is dependent on an intersection of street, a place where two roads meet or where one road turns. For the purposes of our thought experiment, we will assume that Gutierrez didn't mean a truck literally on every corner � that would be ridiculous. Instead, let's assume that he meant a truck at every intersection.

There doesn't appear to be an official tally of the number of intersections in the United States, in part thanks to our using this term to describe a lot of possible combinations of streets.

We do have estimates of the number of intersections with stoplights in the country, though. In 2004, the Institute of Transportation Engineers estimated that there are 265,000 "signalized intersections" in the country. But that report also included a rule of thumb suggesting a ratio between the number of intersections with stoplights and the population: For every 1,000 people, one intersection with a stoplight. That doesn't quite hold in New York City, where there are 12,460 intersections with stoplights and a population of only 8.4 million. But it's fairly close, so let's use it. That would peg the current number of intersections with stoplights in America at 322,000.

This sounds like an excellent proposal to both create jobs and tacos.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2016 15:41

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Karl Sharks posted:

http://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-election-trump-staff-idUSKCN1181CV

How do people just not realize 'I took a job for Trump' often means 'I will not be paid if he thinks he can get away with it at all'

# ¿ Sep 2, 2016 15:54

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Raskolnikov38 posted:

aww prewritten speech

Unscripted Trump is never happening again.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2016 16:49

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Montasque posted:

I have to admit, this stuff worries me some. Trump seems to have learned to stay on script even though he hates it, as long as he gets a rally as a treat later. And by that point the news is all 'Had meeting with a mexican official' or whatever and so no-one covers the rally much.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2016 17:05

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Sonic the Hoxhaist posted:

Most of Mark is a metaphorical challenge to the faithful to stick up for their faith
To continue being overly reductive; Mathew is trying to legitimatize this new branch of Judaism as the realist. Luke wants to let everyone know its cool to let gentiles into the club. And John is trying to work through why the world hasn't ended yet.

Also don't forget you really can't read Luke without Acts.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2016 22:31

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Squizzle posted:

i wish Prof. Helmut Koester wrote anything remotely accessible to a general audience, because he's a sweetheart of a human being and an extremely accessible lecturer/dude to just sit and talk to, and he has a v persuasive argument that Luke-Acts was an early Christian attempt to create their own epic—as in the literary epic form—and anyone who's interested in that period of Christianity, Judaism, or literature should check it out

but the guy writes like the most academic human ever to lift a pen, oh well

cool af dude though

Wanna read this article.

# ¿ Sep 3, 2016 23:54

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

triple sulk posted:

I honestly don't understand the tightening unless it's a change in undecideds, because it makes zero sense for anyone to switch from Clinton to Trump more so than the other way around.

Nothing matters, I guess

It's enthusiasm for Hillary dropping, not enthusiasm for Trump spiking. Notice most of the changes are drops away from Hillary rather than gains for Donny.

# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 15:41

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Whatever happened to The Mana Fort? Did he flee the country or what?

# ¿ Sep 7, 2016 15:52

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

zoux posted:

Trump adviser

https://twitter.com/AJDelgado13/status/773808873425756160

You realize this means Trump was absolutely, certainly wearing an earpiece himself.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2016 15:47

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Montasque posted:

These debates should break ratings records.

Trump will most likely say something crazy a few days before to drive up eyeballs then deliver a boring/safe performance so people will say he won.

I'm not entirely sure he can do that when he can't have a direct script in front of him, considering his performance at the forum.

Basically, I don't think the debates will shift things that much, but the chance of catastrophic Trump performance seems higher, even if it's still low.

# ¿ Sep 9, 2016 18:42

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Crows Turn Off posted:

How in the....

Someone please make me feel better about this.

Trumpsters tend to flood online flash polls.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 01:44

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Epic High Five posted:

"ive gtota say wolf, they may surround the press pin that we are not allowed to leave under any circumstance and if we are we're ripped away and throwin in a bathroom, they may chant that the press should be strung up and murdered, they may follow me home at night and take hundreds of pictures of me saying it's important to document treachery, they may consider us swine and cheer for the repeal of the first amendment and the propositions of having us thrown in camps, but I feel like they do it in a very even handed and fair way, and I think these remarks from Secretary Clinton are just off base"

I mean they did kinda spend the last 2.5 weeks doing this.

# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 06:08

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Slate Action posted:

https://twitter.com/IsaacDovere/status/774990705114636288
https://twitter.com/JYSexton/status/774995981309972480
https://twitter.com/BuzzFeedAndrew/status/774994782317936640

What the loving hell is wrong with our media?

# ¿ Sep 11, 2016 16:46

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

zen death robot posted:

It looked like vertigo to me

source: my wife has it and I've had to grab her like that before, inner ear poo poo basically

I've had that poo poo. It sucks. I'm guessing she's not drinking enough water.

# ¿ Sep 11, 2016 18:02

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

fart blood posted:

https://twitter.com/activist360/status/794684644084121600

https://twitter.com/activist360/status/794611954681790464

It's real good that Jill Stein is a totally meaningless person lol

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 02:41

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Swedgin posted:

real talk: my first memory of Hillary is that cookies thing and all the bullshit she got for it

so it makes me to see it reclaimed

Yeah, that's some serious good poo poo.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 03:35

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Powered Descent posted:

Oh my god, we really are in the last hundred hours now, aren't we?

It feels like this election started when we were in kindergarten, we grew up with it, and now it's really almost over.

e: ed of the family balls

The General feels like it's been like 3 years off my life.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 03:37

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

mannerup posted:

https://twitter.com/NRO/status/794729212078858240

Lol are they seriously trying to walk back their weak-rear end knee bending now?

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 03:43

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Slate Action posted:

Yep

https://twitter.com/steveschale/status/794680401570725888

Obama won 67% of the vote in Broward County in 2012

So these EV numbers...they basically mean Hillary's ground-game is burying Trump at the moment, right?

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 03:45

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Winkie01 posted:

Obama should pardon Melania

The classiest move.

He should.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 04:03

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

mannerup posted:

https://twitter.com/ddale8/status/794105256565215232

So does this all end with a sad Trump going back up the escalator.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 04:11

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Slate Action posted:

https://twitter.com/RalstonReports/status/794738835770855424

So how much of this is Reid's doing and how much is Clinton's? Didn't Reid lay a lot of the groundwork that won her the Nevada Primary?

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 04:13

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

BIG FLUFFY DOG posted:

He's a former Boxer who was essentially raised by prostitutes and survived an attempted mafia hit because he wouldn't play ball as Gambling Commissioner.

He is the living personification of the state of Nevada.

I knew all of this except the hit. What went down.

E: Please post any Harry Reid is a badass stories you know

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 05:48

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

You know, I think Trump is doing a bazillion rallies right before the end because we're watching a cokehead realize he's about to get busted and lose all his coke, so god help him he's going to snort the whole pile before the end.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:12

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

publishko posted:

turns out everything Trump did was a bad idea, huh

It's going to be hilarious if the LV screens all missed that a shitload of minority voters were about to bury him.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 06:14

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

SHY NUDIST GRRL posted:

Maybe I'm not remembering every detail. But it does end with two dudes going "yo Job keeps getting poo poo on god must hate him."
Then god appears in all his glory "No actually Job is the coolest, eat poo poo."

In conclusion Jesus hates poor people and food stamps are unchristian

Basically Job's three buddies show up and they have a big argument about how God must be making GBS threads on him because he done goofed, then Job gets increasingly certain via smacking down those fools that he did not gently caress anything up and calls out God. God shows up and goes 'Hey man there's tons of poo poo a human can't get going on' but also it's possible for Job to infer from God's speech that he didn't do anything wrong, and also God ends it by turning to the buddies and being like 'Yeah you guys are full of poo poo, I will accept it if Job accepts your apology on my behalf also here have all your poo poo back Job, we cool.'

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 14:06

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Slate Action posted:

Can we talk about how amazing it is that Las Vegas will gently caress Trump out of the Presidency

House always wins, man.

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 15:22

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# ¿ May 10, 2024 13:10

Night10194: Feb 13, 2012; We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

deathbysnusnu posted:

http://www.270towin.com/maps/xPKOk

This is my nightmare scenario, not even close to what I consider most likely. I know its not apples and oranges, but remember Bernie's surprise Michigan win?

As a Michigander, I will comfort you on this:

Bernie won a surprise narrow victory in the primary on the back of monumentally unexpectedly high youth turnout. If that happens again, the polls will be off again. But not in the direction Trump wants. :getin:

:getin:

# ¿ Nov 5, 2016 15:36

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

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