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The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > TRUMP: holy FUCK its november 8th

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

The correct form is "Pokemon Master."

# ¿ Nov 10, 2014 02:24

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 18:23

Nessus: Dec 22, 2003; After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!

CubsWoo posted:

The threat of a funded primary opponent in 2018/2024/etc and a pledge that he'll be denied chairmanships and plum committee appointments regardless of seniority whenever the GOP holds the majority in the Senate if he goes too far and puts the eventual candidate at risk.

So what happens if the maniacs primary the people who make those threats? What if he goes full-tilt mandrill and founds the Cruz Party?

# ¿ Nov 11, 2014 07:45

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Nameless_Steve posted:

That's true, because being President already gives you an incumbent advantage. I'm optimistically assuming no Democratic President will die, resign, or be removed in the next 10 years, which would completely change the playoff picture.

Also true, Gore won the election, but obviously he wasn't elected. If the Electoral College had been comprised of nonpartisan upstanding members of the community, as originally intended, they surely would have recognized there was no objective winner in Florida and split their EVs, something I'm sure much more in line with the Founding Fathers' original idea for why the Electoral College existed in the first place. Seriously.

I dunno, using an ambiguity to decide things for the more Southern fellow's benefit would also be a use of the electoral college in line with the views of the Founding Fathers.

Speaking of which, what do you guys think about this campaign I've heard rumors of to have blue states with Republican legislatures go to an EV-split situation? This seems like it could upend the map significantly, although if it just COINCIDENTALLY happens to be in three large Democratic-leaning swing states, at some point I think they're going to have a hard time explaining that in a way other than "gently caress you, we rule now, the First Tea Party Division occupies Washington."

# ¿ Dec 8, 2014 00:35

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I'm probably being a pedantic goon, but Hillary/Bill seems fundamentally different than how we have literally had Bush I, then Bush II, and now we're looking at Bush Tres, now with some spicy Gulf coast seasoning. That one actually IS dynastic, while Hillary and Bill are husband and wife. If they WERE grooming Chelsea to run it would be a different story.

But it's funny since the 'ugh, dynasty' always seems to be about Hillary, while people just take the prospect of Jeb in stride. Maybe there was more rancor over W. being 'dynastic' in '00 and I was too young to recall.

# ¿ Jan 22, 2015 19:34

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SedanChair posted:

The Clinton dynasty stuff is because those two are seriously into ambition for its own sake. The Bushes just want to be president because well, darn it if you've been fortunate in life and your country calls on you to serve, you should really consider doing it. It wouldn't be patriotic and it wouldn't be like a Bush to turn down the honor.

What do you mean by "ambition for its own sake," exactly?

Like I'm totally not gonna say they aren't career politicians. They clearly are. But their platforms are relatively less vomitous than anything else likely to come out, and Hillary Clinton would not replace Ruth Bader Ginsberg with Butch Otter.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 05:21

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SedanChair posted:

Well I mean, they are in love with having power and influence. I don't mean it as a smear but they are just a couple who thinks they were born to govern others. They're generally benevolent and plain-dealing but you know, come on. They're vampires who feed on adulation.

As opposed to what, the guys like Walker who just openly seem to treat their jobs like mid-level VPs in the working of Capital? Like to me this reads like, "These career politicians want to hold office! In other news, water is wet!"

# ¿ Jan 23, 2015 19:14

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I... I think Palin just endorsed Hillary?

# ¿ Jan 25, 2015 04:36

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Kevyn posted:

Have you seen how much the job has aged Obama? No way McCain is still breathing today if he won in 2008.

Counterpoint: Black don't crack.

# ¿ Jan 26, 2015 08:40

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Joementum posted:

After the disaster of the '68 DNC, McGovern led the committee to reform how Presidential nominations are conducted, giving us the current system of caucuses and primaries in each state with pledged delegates. He then went on to us the system he invented to win the nomination.

There was also Ted Kennedy doing the thing Elizabeth Warren is doing this year where everyone was begging him to run and he'd keep saying he wasn't, but leaving the door open juuuuust enough that people kept assuming he'd jump in. Except that Kennedy would have mopped the floor in the nomination if he actually had run.

Why didn't Ted get in? I'm guessing it has something to do with two of his brothers being mysteriously assassinated.

# ¿ Jan 31, 2015 21:19

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TheBalor posted:

The problem I have with Scott Walker's potential for the white house is that I don't really see him having anything remarkable, aside from surviving a recall attempt. Even Mitt Romney could point to some fairly significant accomplishments during his tenure as governor. And if he's running on the "he knows this one trick that drives liberals CRAZY" thing that gets the spite vote, then Chris Christie is likely in a better position to court that.

It also seems like it would be even easier than most to just say he's the paid servant of the Koch brothers. Since, I mean, that appears to actually literally be the case.

# ¿ Feb 1, 2015 01:41

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ErIog posted:

I was completely serious about his weight affecting his travel expenses, but then I made a dumb joke, and people rolled with it. I shall say 5 Hail Chickens as pennance for the derail.

I agree with you that focusing on his weight is dumb, but big dudes can require 2 seats and stuff on planes. It can get uncomfortable real fast.

I'm pretty huge and I've never had to get multiple seats on a plane or nothing. but I'd be a better governor than Christie (so would a yellow dog, to be fair).

As for the Taliban thing: ISIL, apparently, is actually entirely on board with vaccination programs.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2015 07:37

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Intel&Sebastian posted:

I just hope there's some kind of inference like "hey, we've got our last Clinton here. We're proud of him. Where's your last Bush?"

They're also running Hillary, not Chelsea. I expect to have to bring that up a fair bit. :v:

:v:

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 22:07

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This is basically a semantical argument on what exactly "matters" means. If you don't cast your individual vote, and perhaps discourage others from doing so under these theories, you (and your overall demographic group) are marginally weakened, I'd say, and I think there's a lot of "well my vote won't matter, they're all crooks anyway, why should I bother" among younger people, followed by "why don't younger people vote?" and a general focus on catering to those who do vote. (And of course the big money donors but I'm leaving that aside for now.)

My take is that all these interpretations are right but it is still good to go vote, encourage others (especially in your own demographic, which I presume in our cases is generally not "shithead reactionaries") to go vote, and facilitate the process of voting, as these seem to encourage something nearer to a progressive direction for policy. :911:

:911:

# ¿ Feb 7, 2015 19:08

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Kalman posted:

... Warren didn't want to run. They put her into leadership because they were hoping she could maybe help democrats capture some of the excitement her campaign generated by helping with strategy.

Or, you know, conspiracy theories. Either way.

The prospect of Democrats engaging in intelligent political decisions would be absurd on the face of it, yet we face the real prospect of a third Bush trying for the presidency.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2015 22:01

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Nintendo Kid posted:

She's been getting bagged on ever since she dared to suggest fixing healthcare in the 90s. She's used to it.

Yeah, I think one of the issues the right is going to have is that they have literally been blaring HATE HILLARY CLINTON for twenty-four years. It's background noise.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2015 00:11

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My Imaginary GF posted:

Right, Hillary will run on a pro-Obama campaign while everyone else runs on an anti-Obama campaign. No way this could fail for her at all, nosiree.

Jeb '16: Surrender yourself and face the carnage

alternatively, Biden '16: Save us Joe, you're our only hope

IDK, man, there was a guy who was pretty pro-Obama and he won the last two presidential elections pretty well?

# ¿ Feb 15, 2015 19:33

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My Imaginary GF posted:

Oh, really? Is this dude running for a third term, while the party base runs as far away from him as they can?

The party base is running away from him? My impression is that by and large they are on board with the outlines of B-Rock's Islamic Shocks, if different on implementations.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2015 21:38

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My Imaginary GF posted:

if I were president

I'd be elected in 2016
I'd coordinate strikes against Iran in 2017
I'd deal with the fallout of Russian tactical nuke use against Ukraine in 2018
I'd drink away my troubles with tax reform in 2019
I'd be as good as politically dead in 2020

I'll bite.

Why does Russia use tactical nuclear weapons against the Ukraine because we engaged in strikes against Iran? Please, paint me this picture. Perhaps include some reference to the inevitable spread of Ebola into India while you are here.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2015 09:54

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My Imaginary GF posted:

I warned you all, I warned you. Step back and prepare to embrace the bloodshed. Secretary of HHS Napolitano
Secretary of Defence Wolfowitz
Secretary of Homeland Security Rice
Secretary of State George W. Bush
Tax reform passed through a Republican Congress with Republican support in the Senate
Justice McCulloch
Justice Starr

Are you George Will?

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 00:46

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My Imaginary GF posted:

George Will has some helluva good drinking stories, if you get the chance to hear them.

Seriously tho, why aren't folks preparing for the fallout of Jeb 2016? Its as if the implications of Bush 2016-2024 with Republican Congressional majorities haven't sunk in yet

now is the time to give Biden your time in iowa and money if you wish to prevent this, while urging Obama to resign

I can't do that because I died from Ebola in that other thread

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 01:24

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Dominus Vobiscum posted:

Remind me again just why Obama needs to resign so badly?

Because if he does not, Iran will be invaded and then Russia will nuke the Ukraine.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 01:31

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Parallax Scroll posted:

I don't normally pay attention to repub primaries but it's actually important this time since I'm not voting for hillary

Don't worry they'll all behave identically in office.

# ¿ Feb 20, 2015 01:35

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Fulchrum posted:

I'm pretty sure just the fact that they are denied the white house again is gonna make them freak out more even if the president were a straight white christian male.

I hope we get to the point where they try to use that clause in the constitution that the states are guaranteed a republican form of government to overturn election results that put a D on top.

(The Roberts court might entertain it. It depends on Kennedy, of course.)

# ¿ Feb 21, 2015 00:50

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Eschers Basement posted:

So, the answer to incremental change occurring is to get sullen and bitch about how it doesn't really matter because things are tougher in other places?

Seems like a winning strategy.

Yeah, as best as I can tell the argument there is "this incremental improvement in one area has little chance of directly helping another area, soon." I am not sure what the proposed remedy is, or if it's just meant to discourage bothering with the first place.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2015 19:43

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De Nomolos posted:

Well, I've been talking about what I think is realistic change for the nation in here for a long time. Not my fault that you read me saying "what happens in Seattle means little in Mississippi where the most hopeless people are" and think I'm advocating doing nothing. I'm for the most realistic moves to protect the poor at the highest functional level. To do that at the highest functional level, you have to do more than make blue places deeper blue. Especially as the red places get deeper red.

No functional majority exists made up solely of blue districts. The best answer I can give you is a national party built around a lowest common denominator acceptable across geography and cultures.

Sorta like the functional majority of moderates and liberals, ranging from the Progressive Caucus to some actual Blue Dogs that did vote for it, that gave us that Obamacare thing.

That's quite reasonable really, I may have conflated you with the ambient despair cloud :v:

:v:

# ¿ Feb 24, 2015 03:10

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FMguru posted:

Republicans are always and forever the Hot New Thing, and their warmed-over Reaganism is always in the form of Bold Fresh New Ideas.

I remember that MTV personality whose whole thing was "I have a Republican elephant tattoo and find Dan Quayle hot." What happened to her?

# ¿ Feb 25, 2015 23:07

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Deteriorata posted:

That was actually one of the big things that came out of the Watergate scandal. Prior to that people tended to put politicians on a pedestal and assume they were made of sterner intellectual and moral stuff than everyone else.

Then Nixon's tapes came out, and everyone could hear for themselves what a bunch of petty morons were running the country. National politicians haven't gotten the same level of deference since.

For most presidential candidates, I have the feeling they are at least above average in intelligence. Even W. just wasn't very articulate - and perhaps not intellectually curious. But he wasn't "dumb" except perhaps in comparison to Al Gore. Similarly, other people may be insane but they aren't necessarily 'stupid'.

I don't think this is true for Walker. I think Walker is just a dumb-rear end.

But he'd sign what they put in front of him, which is the primary purpose of a Republican president, so.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 22:29

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OneTwentySix posted:

The thing is, if you look at any of the Republicans, it seems like you can come up with some similar argument to disqualify them.

Walker didn't piss off his party though. It's the party that has to pick him.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2015 02:15

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Raskolnikov38 posted:

He's not a guaranteed shoe in because if there's one group that hates Cruz more than the national GOP it's the Perry machine for loving over dewhurst in his senate campaign.

Is Cruz or Walker the guy who now has Rick Perry's "I Beat A Lousy State Democratic Party A Bunch Of Times, So I Am Definitely Your Next President" championship belt? I assume Walker of course.

# ¿ Mar 1, 2015 19:28

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V. Illych L. posted:

except for marshall? maybe

You should've seen the other guys, though

# ¿ Mar 2, 2015 00:24

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Well, a huge gateway for gaining power in a democratic system is behaving like a politician, which is a cuss word but also is the case. I'm sure there are thousands of people who would be a better president than Hillary or Obama, and probably at least hundreds who could have outdone Lincoln or FDR. However, they would have had to win an election campaign.

I personally would be concerned that people get so fidgety over worrying about setting a bad precedent or what have you, that instead we get a squeaker whereby President Cruz comes in and nukes Iran while installing the Permanent Guardians of the Bible in the Supreme Court.

Berke Negri posted:

I think it is only fair to worry about a "Clinton dynasty" when Chelsea is running for the white house.

Reminder that the Kennedys, Rockefellers, and Roosevelts and several other families have had dynasties as well. It isn't new.

What would be really nuts is if there was a guy who was president, and then his son was an awful president, and now another one of his sons was running for president on the same platform, more or less.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2015 03:43

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My god, two wealthy white women kinda look like each other, especially when posed for book covers?! Well that does it. Hillary's done.

# ¿ Mar 13, 2015 17:45

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Enigma89 posted:

Think the country was so anti-Republican at that time it wouldn't have mattered but looking back on it now a Republican and Democrat on the same ticket would of been amazing for toning down the polarization that got worst during
Obama.

How do you figure? Do you think political polarization somehow interferes with giving out tax breaks to large business donors?

# ¿ Mar 16, 2015 04:53

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Nonsense posted:

It's hilarious that Republicans think Obama is even close to the unpopularity of Bush to start running two years before he's gone. They're gonna get clobbered. By one another.

Everyone they listen to is furious and sick with anger at his very existence casting a dark shadow over the land and coloring their freedom. The distance seems to be "worst president ever, possibly a tyrant" on the one hand and "he attempted to false-flag nuke Charleston" on the other.

It's spectacular to me how all this false-flag talk means they can just freely ignore reality they dislike. If they didn't like it, it was obviously a false flag.

# ¿ Mar 21, 2015 18:01

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There's also a shitload of people in Texas, at least, who are "1/16th Cherokee" because they actually show a physical trait or two that suggest black ancestry, but you can't go talking about THAT, now can you?

# ¿ Mar 30, 2015 18:36

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FAUXTON posted:

Technically yes but we might as well be discussing how the world would be if Hitler was gay and black.

Well, we're in year 6 of that situation, aren't we? :freep:

:freep:

# ¿ Apr 3, 2015 18:05

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Sir Tonk posted:

Looks kinda like a DDees. Just needs a few Isreali flags and Agenda 21 stamps.

edit

Anyway, Drudge is also linking to the FT article under his Rand spot.

http://www.ft.com/cms/s/0/8559c84e-d896-11e4-ba53-00144feab7de.html#axzz3WUF5YQuE

This whole dynasty thing is really getting old. I mean, it's the wife of a former President one one side and the third from the same family in another. The Bush one could be considered as such, but saying the same for Clinton is a bit of a stretch.

It's also a really dumb way to critique them as candidates.

I think they're hammering it because literally nothing else has had ANY effect on Hillary, while to listen to idiots I know, it has SOME effect on Hillary's situation. They got nothing. They have shot every bullet possible at her for the last twenty-four years. Twenty-four years!

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 02:35

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SedanChair posted:

If there was no 22nd amendment Bill Clinton would still be president.

Well, that would've changed a lot of things, and Reagan might have lasted long enough to start a nuclear war.

But if it was repealed in '91 by an overconfident HW Bush, yeah, Clinton would still be president.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2015 08:46

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SedanChair posted:

There wouldn't have been a crash.

You're thinking of 9/11. That wouldn't have happened, probably.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2015 18:40

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# ¿ May 3, 2024 18:23

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Neeksy posted:

I cant wait until we see the eventual headlines about the Rand Paul staffer who has to redeem the bitcoins in a usable currency but has to settle for Bed, Bath, & Beyond gift cards he exchanged in an Arby's parking lot, only to discover they were never activated with a value.

Rand Paul's campaign offices will be entirely furnished with goods from Overstock.com

# ¿ Apr 12, 2015 00:35

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