1KoB Week 11

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 1KoB Week 11

Grozz Nuy: Feb 21, 2008; Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

Check the Week 1 thread for a full explanation of the rules!

Week 10 Results

Top Ten:
Mughe: 997 - 52 pts.
axeil: 994 - 51 pts.
13 year old girls: 993 - 50 pts.
Apples McGrind: 987 - 49 pts.
kalensc: 984 - 48 pts.
JGKing: 981 - 47 pts.
Grittybeard: 979 - 46 pts.
WaffleZombie: 969 - 45 pts.
Dubar: 967 - 44 pts.
skaboomizzy: 961 - 43 pts.

The Field:
The Puppy Bowl: 957 - 42 pts.
aBagorn: 955 - 41 pts.
OrangeKing: 942 - 40 pts.
Bjay9: 928 - 38 pts.
Phyein: 928 - 38 pts.
Phiggle: 920 - 37 pts.
ROSS MY SALAD: 918 - 36 pts.
Bachtere: 914 - 35 pts.
Alfred P. Pseudonym: 902 - 34 pts.
Haschel Cedricson: 900 - 33 pts.
bushisms.txt: 898 - 32 pts.
Tavarin: 894 - 31 pts.
marioinblack: 876 - 30 pts.
Gandalf21: 865 - 29 pts.
Felter Chesthard: 862 - 28 pts.
Thaddius the Large: 857 - 27 pts.
Akbar: 846 - 25 pts.
Jaysus: 846 - 25 pts.
Arnold Layne: 830 - 24 pts.
Ron Roenicke: 819 - 23 pts.
Okibi: 807 - 22 pts.
Christ Pseudoscientist: 798 - 21 pts.
Big Ol Marsh Pussy: 782 - 20 pts.
von Metternich: 778 - 19 pts.
No Butt Stuff: 745 - 18 pts.
Lt. Chips: 743 - 17 pts.
rebel1608 - 735 - 16 pts.
Grozz Nuy: 734 - 14 pts.
Nystral: 734 - 14 pts.
pixelbot2000: 726 - 13 pts.
Z.S. Ghost: 712 - 12 pts.
anime gently caress pillow: 711 - 11 pts.
Hockles: 631 - 10 pts.
Cruel and Unusual: 606 - 9 pts.

Busts:
ChuckHead: 1013 - 8 pts.
solauran: 1036 - 7 pts.
Deceptive: 1044 - 6 pts.
Butthead: 1085 - 4 pts.
Fenrir: 1085 - 4 pts.
Chichevache: 1264 - 3 pts.
Metapod: 686 - 0 pts. (Ryan Token)
Mind_Taker: 1045 - 0 pts. (Ryan Token)

Tokens!

The Revis Token: The modern example of the lockdown cornerback. You may use the Revis Token when your Tucker Number is a Wide Receiver. If your Tucker Number's receiving yardage would bust your score, this token sends them on a one-way ticket to Revis Island and zeroes out their yardage for the week. (I'm gonna need another new icon for this, goddamn it Darrelle)

The Suh Token: Stomps plays out in the backfield, when he's not stomping on an opponent's dick. You may play the Suh Token when your Tucker Number is a Quarterback or Running Back. If your Tucker Number would bust your score, this token zeroes out their biggest passing or rushing gain of the game. It only works for one play though, so it won't save you from death by a million tiny cuts.

The Willis Token: The best middle linebacker of this generation, sheds blocks like a maniac and can cover to boot. You may play the Willis Token when your Tucker Number is a Running Back or Tight End. If your Tucker Number's yardage would bust your score, this token sends Willis on a one-man rampage and halves their yardage for the game.

The Polamalu Token: A man whose mystique on the field is matched only by his luxurious hair. The Polamalu Token can be used no matter what position your Tucker Number plays, because Polamalu is all over the field. If your Tucker Number's yardage would bust you, this token cancels out all your yardage except your Tucker Number, because you just can't keep your eyes off that hair. In addition, the Polamalu Token grants a special hair bonus of 25 extra points added to your score if you achieve a top 10 score when you declare it, but don't need its effects to keep you from busting.

And one special token:

The Rex Ryan Token: He doesn't play defense, but like many great defenders he sure talks a whole lot of poo poo. If you declare the Rex Ryan token during a given week, he gets you 50 bonus points for a top 10 score and 100 bonus points for the best score of the week, but if you finish outside the top 10 you get zero, so you'd best be able to back up your tough talk. In addition, you can use the Ryan token as much as you want if you keep getting the bonus, but if you use the Ryan token and fail to make the top 10, you can't use it again for the entire rest of the season unless you hit a perfect thousand. Not for the faint at heart!

Blowhard Alert!

The following users have blown their Ryan Token and are ineligible to use it for the remainder of the season unless they hit a perfect 1000:

Deceptive
Great White Hope
Nystral
solauran
Jaysus
Butthead
Ghost of Reagan Past
grah
ffoecaf
OxySnake
OBR
Bachtere
Chichevache
Metapod
Mind_Taker

Week 11 Schedule

Thursday Night:
BUF@MIA

Sunday 10AM:
SF@NYG
MIN@CHI
HOU@CLE
SEA@KC
ATL@CAR
CIN@NO
TB@WAS
DEN@STL

Sunday 1PM:
OAK@SD
PHI@GB
DET@ARI

Sunday Night:
NE@IND

:siren:

Monday Night! :siren:

PIT@TEN

BYE: DAL, NYJ, JAX, BAL

Grozz Nuy fucked around with this message at 10:28 on Nov 27, 2014

# ? Nov 13, 2014 08:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 20:15

Grozz Nuy: Feb 21, 2008; Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

Season Standings!

marioinblack: 457 pts.
JGKing: 433 pts.
Big Ol Marsh Pussy: 415 pts.
The Puppy Bowl: 412 pts.
aBagorn: 408 pts.
Phiggle: 407 pts.
Felter Chesthard: 403 pts.
Grozz Nuy: 402 pts.
Fenrir: 396 pts.
Christ Pseudoscientist: 386 pts.
ROSS MY SALAD: 376 pts.
Akbar: 372 pts.
Phyein: 367 pts.
Dubar: 366 pts.
kalensc: 357 pts.
Ron Roenicke: 355 pts.
Alfred P. Pseudonym: 346 pts.
von Metternich: 336 pts.
anime gently caress pillow: 335 pts.
Arnold Layne: 335 pts.
Haschel Cedricson: 335 pts.
Mind_Taker: 335 pts.
axeil: 329 pts.
skaboomizzy: 326 pts.
solauran: 322 pts.
Okibi: 319 pts.
Grittybeard: 311 pts.
Z.S. Ghost: 311 pts.
Apples McGrind: 310 pts.
Butthead: 309 pts.
Jaysus: 306 pts.
Lt. Chips: 299 pts.
13 year old girls: 298 pts.
Bjay9: 294 pts.
Gandalf21: 293 pts.
rebel1608: 293 pts.
OrangeKing: 288 pts.
ChuckHead: 286 pts.
Metapod: 285 pts.
DupaDupa: 283 pts.
Tavarin: 273 pts.
Thaddius the Large: 273 pts.
pixelbot2000: 266 pts.
WaffleZombie: 260 pts.
No Butt Stuff: 252 pts.
Mughe: 236 pts.
Chichevache: 227 pts.
Hockles: 217 pts.
Bachtere: 215 pts.
ffoecaf: 214 pts.
A Pale Horse: 210 pts.
embarrasing tank: 210 pts.
Nystral: 207 pts.
Deceptive: 205 pts.
Roumba: 204 pts.
waah: 204 pts.
bushisms.txt: 199 pts.
Cruel and Unusual: 199 pts.
OBR: 186 pts.
Miko: 185 pts.
OxySnake: 133 pts.
Foranzan: 114 pts.
grah: 104 pts.
Benne: 82 pts.
Ghost of Reagan Past: 72 pts.
Skillface: 46 pts.
JRizzle: 41 pts.
Great White Hope: 40 pts.
Terror Shark: 25 pts.
BlindSite: 18 pts.
Garbo: 17 pts.
Spoeank: 12 pts.
Freaquency: 7 pts.

Grozz Nuy fucked around with this message at 09:12 on Nov 15, 2014

# ? Nov 13, 2014 08:57

axeil: Feb 14, 2006

Doing this early this week because I'm going on vacation and might not have access to anything until after kickoff on Sunday.

Drew Brees - Passing Yards
Phillip Rivers - Passing Yards
Marshawn Lynch - Rushing Yards
Frank Gore - Rushing Yards
T.Y. Hilton - Receiving Yards

Tucker Number: Antonio Brown - Receiving Yards

# ? Nov 13, 2014 14:15

Apples McGrind: Oct 13, 2013

Ahhh. Love me my refreshed Tokens

Andrew Luck - Passing Yards
Matt Ryan - Passing Yards
DeAndre Hopkins - Receiving Yards

Tucker Number: Ben Roethlisberger - Passing yards

E: Also, I don't want to nag, but if you find the time, can you please update the season standings this week? :unsmith:

Apples McGrind fucked around with this message at 16:51 on Nov 13, 2014

# ? Nov 13, 2014 16:42

Arnold Layne: Nov 4, 2008

Drew Brees - Passing Yards
Philip Rivers - Passing Yards
Andy Dalton - Passing Yards

Tucker Number - Heath Miller - Receiving Yards

# ? Nov 13, 2014 17:04

Thaddius the Large: Jul 5, 2006; It's in the five-hole!

Peyton Manning - passing yards
Alex Smith - passing yards
Calvin Johnson - receiving yards

Tucker Number Ben Roethlisberger - passing yards

# ? Nov 13, 2014 17:44

JGKing: Dec 26, 2012; What has happened to this company?!

Colin Kaepernick - passing yards
Aaron Rodgers - passing yards
Calvin Johnson - receiving yards
Larry Fitzgerald - receiving yards

Tucker Number Ben Roethlisberger - passing yards

# ? Nov 13, 2014 18:07

Nystral: Feb 6, 2002; Every man likes a pretty girl with him at a skeleton dance.

Aaron Rodgers - Passing
Drew Brees - Passing
Alex Smith - Passing

Tucker Number: Heath Miller - Receiving

~~Willis Token~~ used Willis in week 9. Subbing Polamalu instead

Nystral fucked around with this message at 21:40 on Nov 13, 2014

# ? Nov 13, 2014 18:37

Grozz Nuy: Feb 21, 2008; Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

Apples McGrind posted:

E: Also, I don't want to nag, but if you find the time, can you please update the season standings this week?

Should have plenty of time for that on Friday. Thankfully it's a lot quicker than doing results.

# ? Nov 13, 2014 20:08

skaboomizzy: Nov 12, 2003; There is nothing I want to be. There is nothing I want to do.
I don't even have an image of what I want to be. I have nothing. All that exists is zero.

Drew Brees - passing
Philip Rivers - passing
Tom Brady - passing
Le'veon Bell - rushing

WILLIS TOKEN

# ? Nov 13, 2014 23:59

ChuckHead: Jun 24, 2004; 2000 years Assholes.

Grozz Nuy posted:

ChuckHead: 1013 - 8 pts.

gently caress

E: I see the 4 QB pick is becoming quite trendy, let this be a cautionary post about that practice.

ChuckHead fucked around with this message at 02:13 on Nov 14, 2014

# ? Nov 14, 2014 02:11

Hockles: Dec 25, 2007; Resident of ~~Camp Blood~~
Crystal Lake

Bryan Hoyer - Passing Yards
Johnny Manziel - Passing Yards
Ben Tate - Rushing Yards
Terrence West - Rushing Yards
Isiah Crowell - Rushing Yards
Miles Austin - Receiving Yards
Andrew Hawkins - Receiving Yards
Travis Benjamin - Receiving Yards
Taylor Gabriel - Receiving Yards
Jordan Cameron - Receiving Yards
Gary Barnidge - Receiving Yards
Jim Dray - Receiving Yards
Ryan Mallet - Passing Yards
T#: Bishop Sankey - Rushing Yards

gently caress It. Goin Deep.

Hockles fucked around with this message at 12:52 on Nov 14, 2014

# ? Nov 14, 2014 03:10

Jaysus: Sep 17, 2004; "Hey, did you see my game against the Detroit Lions?"

Russell Wilson - Passing Yards
Alex Smith - Passing Yards
Colin Kaepernick - Passing Yards
Tucker Number - Ben Roethlisberger - Passing Yards

Jaysus fucked around with this message at 04:06 on Nov 14, 2014

# ? Nov 14, 2014 04:01

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Mathew Stafford - passing yards
Andrew Luck - passing yards
Drew Brees - passing yards
tucker number Bishop Sankey - rushing yards

# ? Nov 14, 2014 04:34

Diqnol: May 10, 2010

Jay Cutler - Passing Yards
Aaron Rodgers - Passing Yards
Mark Sanchez - Passing Yards

Tucker Number: LeVeon Bell - Rushing Yards

# ? Nov 14, 2014 06:00

Shangri-Law School: Feb 19, 2013

Davante Adams - Receiving
Desean Jackson - Receiving
Chris Polk - Rushing
Knile Davis - Rushing
Calvin Johnson - Receiving
Ryan Grant - Rushing
Teddy Bridgewater - Passing
Russell Wilson - Passing
Andre Johnson - Receiving
Chase Ford - Receiving
Reggie Bush - Rushing

Tucker #:

Nate Washington - Receiving

# ? Nov 14, 2014 06:20

Tavarin: May 10, 2003; I am definitely a madman with a box

Frank Gore - Rushing Yards
Teddy Bridgewater - Passing Yards
Peyton Manning - Passing Yards
Julio Jones - Receiving Yards
Kelvin Benjamin - Receiving Yards

Antonio Brown - Receiving Yards

# ? Nov 14, 2014 06:48

The Puppy Bowl: Jan 31, 2013; A dog, in the house.

*woof*

Teddy Bridgewater - Passing Yards
Andrew Luck - Passing Yards
Tom Brady - Passing Yards

Tucker Number: Antonio Brown - Receiving Yards

# ? Nov 14, 2014 11:00

Hockles: Dec 25, 2007; Resident of ~~Camp Blood~~
Crystal Lake

So, apparently Mallet is starting over Fitzpatrick. Editing my list to reflect that.

# ? Nov 14, 2014 12:51

Mind_Taker: May 7, 2007

Frank Gore - Rushing Yards
Matt Forte - Rushing Yards
Arian Foster - Rushing Yards
Marshawn Lynch - Rushing Yards
Julio Jones - Receiving Yards
Jimmy Graham - Receiving Yards
Alfred Morris - Rushing Yards
Demariyus Thomas - Receiving Yards
Jordy Nelson - Receiving Yards
Robert Griffin III - Passing Yards

Tucker Number: Le'Veon Bell - Rushing Yards

# ? Nov 14, 2014 17:17

No Butt Stuff: Jun 10, 2004

ChuckHead posted:

gently caress

E: I see the 4 QB pick is becoming quite trendy, let this be a cautionary post about that practice.

you poo poo.

i'm doing it.

Kaepernick - Rushing
Eli Manning - Rushing
Bridgewater - Rushing
Cutler - Rushing
Mallet - Rushing
Hoyer - Rushing
Wilson - Rushing
Alex Smith - Rushing
Matt Ryan - Rushing
Cam Newton - Rushing
Andy Dalton - Rushing
Drew Brees - Rushing
Josh McCown - Rushing
RG3 - Rushing
Peyton Manning - Rushing (lol)
Shaun Hill - Rushing
Derek Carr - Rushing
Phil Rivers - Rushing
Mark Sanchez - Rushing
Aaron Rodgers - Rushing
Matt Stafford - Rushing
Drew Stanton - Rushing

and because this won't even break 300 -

Jamaal Charles - Rushing
Marshawn Lynch - Rushing

Tucker Number - Antonio Brown - Receiving (Gotta at least crack 500)

Edited to change Tucker number.

No Butt Stuff fucked around with this message at 14:22 on Nov 15, 2014

# ? Nov 14, 2014 17:52

Apples McGrind: Oct 13, 2013

No Butt Stuff posted:

you poo poo.

i'm doing it.

Kaepernick - Rushing
Eli Manning - Rushing
Bridgewater - Rushing
Cutler - Rushing
Mallet - Rushing
Hoyer - Rushing
Wilson - Rushing
Alex Smith - Rushing
Matt Ryan - Rushing
Cam Newton - Rushing
Andy Dalton - Rushing
Drew Brees - Rushing
Josh McCown - Rushing
RG3 - Rushing
Peyton Manning - Rushing (lol)
Shaun Hill - Rushing
Derek Carr - Rushing
Phil Rivers - Rushing
Mark Sanchez - Rushing
Aaron Rodgers - Rushing
Matt Stafford - Rushing
Drew Stanton - Rushing

and because this won't even break 300 -

Jamaal Charles - Rushing
Marshawn Lynch - Rushing

Tucker Number -
TY Hilton - Receiving (Gotta at least crack 500)

I hope you inexplicably hit a perfect thou.

# ? Nov 14, 2014 20:05

Bjay9: May 3, 2011; Kid, touch is for video games and gynecologists

Matt Ryan - Passing Yards
Teddy Bridgewater - Passing Yards
Eli Manning - Passing Yards
Malcolm Floyd - Receiving Yards
Andre Ellington - Rushing Yards

Tucker Number - Dexter McCluster - Receiving Yards

# ? Nov 14, 2014 21:25

Phiggle: Apr 26, 2007; And so, having defeated the nefarious Psy-Crow, our hero, Earthworm Jim, wins back the heart of the lovely COW

New Orleans Saints - Rushing Yards
New Orleans Saints - Receiving Yards
Indianapolis Colts - Rushing Yards
Indianapolis Colts - Receiving Yards

Tucker Number: LeGarrette Blount - Rushing Yards

# ? Nov 15, 2014 01:55

Fenrir: Apr 26, 2005; I found my kendo stick, bitch!; Lipstick Apathy

Apples McGrind posted:

I hope you inexplicably hit a perfect thou.

Me too

poo poo I still need to do my list. Tomorrow.

# ? Nov 15, 2014 02:03

Butthead: May 31, 2011

Aaron Rodgers - Passing Yards
Mark Sanchez - Passing Yards

Tucker Number: Ben Roethlisberger - Passing Yards

# ? Nov 15, 2014 04:48

Gandalf21: May 17, 2012

No Butt Stuff posted:

you poo poo.

i'm doing it.

Kaepernick - Rushing
Eli Manning - Rushing
Bridgewater - Rushing
Cutler - Rushing
Mallet - Rushing
Hoyer - Rushing
Wilson - Rushing
Alex Smith - Rushing
Matt Ryan - Rushing
Cam Newton - Rushing
Andy Dalton - Rushing
Drew Brees - Rushing
Josh McCown - Rushing
RG3 - Rushing
Peyton Manning - Rushing (lol)
Shaun Hill - Rushing
Derek Carr - Rushing
Phil Rivers - Rushing
Mark Sanchez - Rushing
Aaron Rodgers - Rushing
Matt Stafford - Rushing
Drew Stanton - Rushing

and because this won't even break 300 -

Jamaal Charles - Rushing
Marshawn Lynch - Rushing

Tucker Number -
TY Hilton - Receiving (Gotta at least crack 500)

Might want to change your Tucker Number to someone playing on Monday night.

# ? Nov 15, 2014 06:21

Grozz Nuy: Feb 21, 2008; Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

No Butt Stuff posted:

you poo poo.

i'm doing it.

Well this is one of the more interesting gimmick lists I've seen since I started using this subforum.

Season standings are updated in the second post.

# ? Nov 15, 2014 09:14

No Butt Stuff: Jun 10, 2004

Gandalf21 posted:

Might want to change your Tucker Number to someone playing on Monday night.

Good call.

# ? Nov 15, 2014 14:22

Mughe: Mar 17, 2007; I'll tolerate you until I can replace you.

What? I finished first? haha

Anyway...

Aaron Rodgers - Passing
Andrew Luck - Passing
Tom Brady - Passing
Tucker Number - Bishop Sankey - Rushing

# ? Nov 15, 2014 22:58

marioinblack: Sep 21, 2007; Number 1 Bullshit

Holy poo poo I lead this thing. May the good Lord bless Rex Ryan.

Alex Smith - Passing
Andy Dalton - Passing
Frank Gore - Rushing
Andre Ellington - Rushing
TY Hilton - Receiving
Pierre Garcon - Receiving
Austin Seferian-Jenkins - Receiving
Tucker Number - Le'Veon Bell - Rushing

# ? Nov 15, 2014 23:26

Felter Chesthard: Sep 11, 2001

Andrew Luck - Passing
Jordy Nelson - Receiving
Desean Jackson - Receiving
Jimmy Graham - Receiving
Lesean McCoy - Receiving
Andre Ellington - Receiving
Andrew Luck - Rushing
Lesean McCoy - Rushing
Andre Ellington - Rushing

Tucker # - Antonio Brown - Receiving

# ? Nov 16, 2014 00:50

fishing with the fam: Feb 29, 2008; Durr

Matt Ryan - Passing Yards
Drew Brees - Passing Yards
Demaryius Thomas - Receiving Yards
Alfred Morris - Rushing Yards
Golden Tate - Receiving Yards

Tucker Number: Le'Veon Bell - Rushing Yards

# ? Nov 16, 2014 00:51

pixelbot2000: May 11, 2004; Pay your pussy bill

I was left out of the week 10 results, I should have 726.

Drew Brees - passing
Derek Carr - passing
T.Y. Hilton - receiving
Brice Butler - receiving
Anquan Boldin - receiving

Tucker # - Antonio Brown - receiving

# ? Nov 16, 2014 01:13

Gandalf21: May 17, 2012

Matt Ryan - Passing Yards
Andrew Luck - Passing Yards

Tucker Number - Big Ben - Passing Yards

And why not, let's be bold

# ? Nov 16, 2014 01:33

cosmic gumbo

Mar 26, 2005

IMA

GRIP

SIP

Derek Carr - passing yards
Peyton Manning - passing yards
Aaron Rodgers - passing yards

Tucker Number: Roethlisberger - rushing

# ? Nov 16, 2014 02:36

Grozz Nuy: Feb 21, 2008; Welcome to Moonside.

Wecomel to Soonmide.

Moonwel ot cosidme.

Russell Wilson - Passing Yards
Philip Rivers - Passing Yards
Alfred Morris - Rushing Yards
Larry Fitzgerald - Receiving Yards
Ben Roethlisberger - Passing Yards

Suh Token

# ? Nov 16, 2014 07:40

Alfred P. Pseudonym: May 29, 2006; And when you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss goes 8-8

Peyton Manning - Passing
Tom Brady - Passing
Andrew Luck - Passing
Tucker - LeGarrette Blount - Rushing

# ? Nov 16, 2014 08:55

Okibi: Jul 13, 2004; A shadowy flight into the ridiculous world of a man whose music should not exist; Grimey Drawer

Aaron Rodgers - Passing Yards
Andrew Luck - Passing Yards
Mark Ingram - Rushing Yards
Marshawn Lynch - Rushing Yards
Demaryius Thomas - Receiving Yards

Tucker Number: Antonio Brown - Receiving Yards

# ? Nov 16, 2014 09:53

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 6, 2024 20:15

totally losing my mime: Aug 3, 2012; The quiet can scrape
All the calm from your bones.
But maybe it should.
Maybe we need to be hollowed
To get up and grow,
And stop fucking around,
To kick off our braces and start straightening out; Fun Shoe

Teddy Bridgewater - Passing Yards
Drew Brees - Passing Yards
Andrew Luck - Passing Yards

Tucker Number - Le'Veon Bell - Rushing Yards

# ? Nov 16, 2014 09:56

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Football Funhouse > 1KoB Week 11

«‹›3 »