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gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

The Monkey Man posted:

Gotta go with the Emperor coming back from the dead multiple times.

Those graphic novels were rad actually. Except for Slave II, that was a punk ship.

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gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.
KOTOR 2 is better than anything outside of (and maybe including?) the original trilogy

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

mind the walrus posted:

Oh is that why KOTOR 2 is so highly regarded? I was in a busy place when it came out and heard mixed things (this was well before the patches) so I never checked it out, but if it's a takedown of the EU I could definitely make time for it now.

The problem is that KOTOR 2 has so much where you need to read between the lines and the gameplay really isn't that good. I honestly think reading the LP might be a better way of appreciating the game: http://lparchive.org/Knights-of-the-Old-Republic-II/ It is still really great as an LP though.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

icantfindaname posted:

post the poo poo where Han Solo fights the giant weasels or whatever

They're called Selonians.



Aesop Poprock posted:

Haha I am almost certain he either almost hosed one or used to date one of them as well

During the First Corellian Insurrection, the female Selonian Dracmus was captured by Thrackan Sal-Solo, the leader of the Human League. She gave him a promise that she would not attempt to escape, and as Selonians could not easily break their promises, Thrackan trusted her. He allowed her to be removed from her cell and fight his cousin Han Solo. However, Han was familiar with Mandaba, the Seloian language, and was able to convince Dracmus to go easy on him during the fight without Thrackan catching on. Though he was battered and knocked unconscious, he won Dracmus's trust. The two were placed in the same cell following the battle, to the amusement of Thrackan. The two talked about the massive interdiction field that prevented anyone from leaving or entering the Corellian System in hyperspace, and possible escape plans. When the Hunchuzuc Den staged a rescue by digging through the floor, Solo was allowed to come along.

Dracmus and Solo then traveled deep into the Selonian Tunnels under Corellia, into areas which Dracmus acknowledged no non-Selonian had ever seen. The two crawled through the tunnels for days, eventually boarding a primitive Selonian cone ship to take them to Selonia. Dracmus revealed to Solo that the Hunchuzuc Den was one of a handful of rebel clans fighting against the Selonian Overden, which sought independence from the New Republic. The Overden and the Hunchuzuc Den were involved in a dispute that was part military confrontation, part debate, and part public relations.

The two were joined by Salculd, who piloted the Selonian vessel. The coneship traveled through the system to Selonia, where they encountered the ship Jade's Fire, piloted by Mara Jade and Leia Organa Solo, Han's wife. However, they also were met by Overden LAF-250 starfighters. The coneship, outdated and lacking any weapons of sufficient shields, was severely damaged. Thanks to Han's mechanical genius, they managed to survive a controlled crash. Once on the planet, the Humans learned that the Overden had discovered the all-important planetary repulsor, giving them victory. Dracmus attempted to negotiate with the Overden. The key representative for the Overden was a female by the name of Kleyvits. However, as her side had control of the repulsor, Kleyvits was in a position to make demands—specifically, Selonian independence.

The three Humans were kept as captives and questioned for a time, but together they reasoned that the Overden must have had outside help to control the repulsor. During one of their interrogations, Han questioned Kleyvits about who was operating the repulsor. Kleyvits was unable to answer, to the shock of Dracmus, who seized upon the opportunity and demanded to know. Kleyvits revealed that her allies were the Selonians of the Sacorrian Triad, who had been exiled generations ago. The fact that the exiles were helping completely destroyed the Overden's credibility and shifted the balance of power. Dracmus now had the upper hand, as the Sacorrian Selonians had been utterly dishonored among their exile, and it was a shame to be associated with them.

During the Battle of Centerpoint Station a short time later, Dracmus was in heated negotiations with the Selonians of the Triad, another delicate public relations battle, to persuade them to hand over control of the Selonian repulsor. However, the process was too slow, prompting the trader Mara Jade to make a suggestion: a bribe. With a hefty bribe, she was able to convince the Selonians to part with the instructions for the repulsor, allowing young Anakin Solo and a team of Bakuran engineers to fire the planetary repulsor on Drall and prevent Centerpoint Station from destroying another star. The Triad and the Overden (and their ally, Thrackan) had lost. Corellia remained a part of the New Republic, thanks to the Solos, Luke Skywalker, Gaeriel Captison and the Bakuran fleet and Dracmus.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

FizFashizzle posted:

have we talked about how in courtship of princess leia, she wanted some dick from a prince with an eight pack so han basically kidnapped her and dragged her to a planet to make her fall back in love with him but the planet had a witch with a bunch of rancors so luke had to come save the day and han was tortured by having all his teeth broken?

because in retrospect that book is hosed up

I think it's worse than that, I think Han even drugged or mind-controlled her somehow at some point.

Edit: Yeah he mind-controlled her when she didn't want to get with him, this is date rape

The Gun of Command was a high-tech weapon from the planet Charubah in the Hapes Cluster.

The gun was more dangerous than almost any other weapon because it made victims unable to distinguish between their own thoughts and the enemy's, allowing the Hapans to control them. The guns worked by releasing an electromagnetic wave field which disabled the victim's thought processes. Once affected, the victim would follow any simple command given, even blatantly suicidal ones. In fact, the Gun of Command was used as a form of execution, where the condemned male (no females were executed on Hapes under any circumstances) would be shot with the weapon, then handed a blaster and ordered to take his own life.

The rulers of the Hapes Cluster presented Princess Leia Organa with 63 treasures from their worlds, including the Gun of Command. Han Solo used the gun to force Leia to run away with him to the planet of Dathomir, then removed the circuitry on the barrel, rendering it useless to Leia when she thought to use it against him once she realized what he had done.

Edit 2: Wow this is kind of hosed up about the author's family:

Though Han's stalkerish behavior and his willingness to kidnap Leia received criticism from readers, Dave Wolverton, in an interview with Jedi Council Forums member Doug McCausland, described Han's behavior as him regressing to his scoundrel spice smuggling days under heavy stress, reversion being a psychological defense mechanism Wolverton saw in his own children at the time.

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Nov 25, 2014

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

FizFashizzle posted:

as bad as the EU was generally the thrawn trilogy loving ruled, was actually competently written, and if they had any sense they'd just have made that episodes 7, 8, and 9

Counterpoint:

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

StashAugustine posted:

that last is a joke tho

I honestly can't remember but Luuke is real though? That is still way too ridiculous.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Blistex posted:

That loving Jedi droid has convinced me that there is no limit to EU content. What other inconceivable poo poo is out there?

quote:

Does Leia kill an Emperor clone?

Luke and Leia kill the first Emperor clone together:

Appearing in his Eclipse-class dreadnought Eclipse above Pinnacle Base, Palpatine demanded the return of his stolen holocron and the presence of Leia, who complied, in exchange for a possible truce with the New Republic. When Leia arrived aboard Eclipse, she implored Luke for help—as foretold by Bodo Baas's Master a thousand years earlier. Skywalker managed to cast off the veil of the dark side that cloaked his mind and turned on Palpatine. Enraged at this latest development, Palpatine brandished a blue-bladed lightsaber and struck at Luke. Despite Palpatine's viciousness, Luke managed to defeat the Sith Lord in a brief but intense lightsaber duel, slicing off his hand.

Palpatine was hardly finished, summoning a Force storm against the New Republic fleet. However, the siblings banded together and, with the aid of the unborn Anakin Solo, were able to use the light side of the Force to temporarily sever Palpatine's connection to the Force. The Force storm, no longer under Palpatine's control, destroyed Eclipse, killing Palpatine again while the pair fled, ending the Battle of Pinnacle Base. His spirit survived and found its way into another clone body.

quote:

Does Lando ever weild a lighsabre?

The two Rebels agreed to help the Iskalonians repel the remaining Nagai forces, who had garrisoned themselves in a large tower. Just as they gave their consent, the party was attacked by a group of Nagai divers and stormtroopers. Hoping to cover the escape of the fleeing, unarmed Iskalonians, Calrissian and Skywalker stood their ground. Despite killing several of their assailants, they were eventually overpowered by the Nagai sonic weapons. Just as the stormtroopers trapped the defeated pair with net guns, Kiro sprang from the ocean and dispatched the remainder of the Nagai-aligned party. Kiro swam off without stopping for conversation, leaving the gambler and Jedi to shake off the effects of the sonic weapons. Calrissian was convinced that the Nagai had escaped with Mone and several Iskalonians captive. He feared that, given the school-centric nature of the Iskalonians, and their hatred of the slavery the Nagai were imposing on them, the entire species would rather commit suicide than succumb to the invaders. The two quickly formulated a plan: they would destroy the Nagai tower as quickly as possible.

They swam to the ocean floor near the tower, and began hacking away at it—Luke with his lightsaber, and Calrissian with a smaller lightsaber that Luke had "whipped up" some time prior. As they swung at the base of the tower, Calrissian began fearing that the native Chiaki predators would attack them. As he expressed this concern, two Nagai divers approached the pair, but were suddenly intercepted and slain by Kiro. With the Nagai dead, Kiro and Skywalker swam off to rescue the Iskalonians inside the tower, while Calrissian continued destroying the tower. Kiro and Skywalker were successful in their task, and before long, Calrissian had toppled the Nagai construction. Shortly after, having returned to the Cobra, the two Rebels said their goodbyes to Kiro and the Iskalonians.

quote:

Is there a third Death Star?

Third and a half:
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Death_Star_III
http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Death_Star_prototype

quote:

Do Ewoks ever engage in space travel?
Though the Alliance forces left Endor soon after fighting off Lumiya's forces, the Ewoks had become part of the Galactic community. In the next few years, several Ewoks even found their way off Endor. The New Republic established trading posts on the Forest Moon. Most Ewoks who traveled off-world were adventurous individuals, such as the smuggler Tarfang, or the Ewok soldiers who joined the New Republic forces at the Second Battle of Coruscant in 10 ABY. By 9 ABY, there was also a significant Ewok colony on the planet Svivren, although it is not known when or how they first settled there.

quote:

Does C3P0 have a love interest?

R2-D2

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 04:23 on Nov 25, 2014

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

platedlizard posted:

There is an emperor clone but I can't remember what happened to him.

There are two emperor clones - the first one kidnaps Luke and converts him to the dark side, then Leia shows up and converts him back, then they kill the emperor with his own force storm. The second clone tries to kidnap Anakin Solo but Luke and Leia confront him and Han comes around and shoots him in the back.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

If you include the Darksaber in the Death Star family because it has the same superlaser, you have to include the Tarkin as well.

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Tarkin_(superweapon)

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Wolfsheim posted:

The first person to correctly list the number of times boba fett has fallen into and subsequently escaped the sarlacc wins a prize

the prize is shame

TOILETLORD posted:

1 time each?

Boba Fett was eaten by and escaped from the Sarlacc twice actually, the second time shortly after he escaped from the first.



While he fired at Luke, in his obsession with capturing the Jedi, he failed to notice Solo. Solo, still semi-blind from hibernation sickness, accidentally activated Fett's manual controls on his jet pack by waving a staff wildly behind him, rocketing the hunter against the sail barge and bouncing down to the sand, rolling right into the waiting maw of the Sarlacc.

Knowledge of this incident eventually made its way into Deal-slang in the shape of the expression "boba-ize", which meant to do something unintelligent which would jeopardize or potentially ruin a deal, implying that falling into the Sarlacc was considered the result of stupidity in the eyes of the speakers of Deal-slang.

But the Sarlacc could never hold Fett. Thanks to his iron will and Mandalorian armor, Fett was able to fight his way out of the beast's belly. After escaping, Fett was found by a group of Jawas who took him to be either a droid or cyborg, never bothering to scan him, and claimed him as their own under the impression he was an unintelligent being. They took him into their sandcrawler, fitted him with a restraining bolt, and went on their way.

Fett was later joined by a familiar face when the Jawas stole R2-D2 from a hangar bay in Mos Eisley. R2-D2 immediately recognized Fett, but the meeting was interrupted as Han Solo and Leia Organa attacked the sandcrawler in an attempt to get R2 back. It was at this point that Fett awoke for the first time since being freed from the Sarlacc, just in time to see Solo enter the sandcrawler in his attempt to rescue R2. Unfortunately, the sandcrawler had been damaged during Han's attempts to enter it and so was on a collision course with the Sarlacc. The Jawas were too busy to fix it, as they had just been attacked by Tusken Raiders. Solo was as surprised as R2 had been to find Fett alive once more, but somehow, Fett had temporarily lost his memory and in fact helped Solo rescue R2 from the doomed sandcrawler. Though against his better judgment, Solo then tried to help Fett escape also, as he couldn't leave a helpless man to die.

Unfortunately for Fett, it was at this point that his memory came back due to Leia shouting Han's name repeatedly. Fett fired on the unarmed Solo before he managed to free him from the sandcrawler, causing Solo to jump onto the sand. The sandcrawler, with Fett still in it, crashed into the mouth of the Sarlacc, trapping Fett once more. Solo once more thought that Fett was dead.

After conversing with a fellow captive, the Choi known as Susejo, Fett discovered that this being was actually psychologically connected to the Sarlacc—and it was this advantage that he used to goad the creature into contracting around his jet pack, igniting the device and providing his means of escape. The resulting explosion, combined with the beast's acidic stomach juices, left Fett on the verge of death. As he lay dying on the surface of Tatooine, his colleague Dengar was searching for anything valuable left from the explosion, but found Boba Fett instead, and nursed him back to health.

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 22:23 on Nov 25, 2014

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

paranoid randroid posted:

i remember there was some guy who was Han Solo but not really named Talon Karrde and his ship was the Wild Karrde and he was from Correllia because naturally

He was way more 80s than Han Solo though:



Also his second-in-command was Mara Jade who of course later got married to Luke.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

If there is any goodness in the world, this will be the trailer released this weekend

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

platedlizard posted:

Even better, Mara Jade was the Emperor's private assassin and of course was Force-trained but hadn't completely gone over to the dark side for Reasons. She started out trying to kill Luke but of course he turns her and eventually they get married and have kids.

And it even turns out that one of the background dancers at Jabba's palace added in the new CGI footage happens to be Mara Jade undercover on her mission to get Luke:

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Sombrerotron posted:

Zahn's books came out years before the Special Edition, though.

That's from a Zahn short story that came out after the Thrawn trilogy, http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Sleight_of_Hand:_The_Tale_of_Mara_Jade

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Tarquinn posted:

Also had armor plating that made it invincible.

Not entirely invincible, it was damaged but not destroyed when it got hit by the superlaser from the Death Star prototype in the Maw Nebula. Of course that it survived a superlaser hit at all says something about the armor.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Sentient Data posted:

And the whole thing about if you keep pushing against his(/her? didn't watch) lightsaber down toward the hand guard, yours would just slice through the metal like butter in what should be one of the most durable parts of the sword

It could be made out of cortosis, you know.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Liquid Dinosaur posted:

Real question: is the Holiday Special canon? It was made by George Lucas, after all.

The Holocron continuity database was an internal database maintained by Lucas Licensing for the express purpose of trying to maintain continuity within all licensed products, prior to the April 2014 declaration of a single official canon. This Holocron was sorted into four levels of canon, that reflected LFL's canon and continuity policies: G, T, C, S, and N. G, T, C, and S together formed an overall continuity that was considered by Lucasfilm to be the "true" Star Wars canon prior to the decanonization of the Expanded Universe.

G (George Lucas) canon was absolute canon. This category included the six films, some of the deleted scenes from the films, the novelizations of the films, the radio dramas based on the films, the film scripts, and any material found in any other source (published or not) that comes directly from George Lucas himself. G canon overruled all other forms of canon when there was a contradiction.

T canon referred to the canon level comprising only the television show Star Wars: The Clone Wars.

C (continuity) canon referred to the main body of EU work, and was the next most authoritative level of canon. All material published under the Star Wars label but not falling into either G, S, or N was C canon, and was considered authoritative as long as not contradicted by G canon. Games were a special case as generally only the stories would be "C-canon" while things like stats and gameplay are "N-canon". If the video game had several possible ends or if the player could choose the gender or the species of the main character, only one of each is considered C-canon. C-canon elements have been known to appear in the movies, thus making them G-canon. (This included: the name "Coruscant", swoop bikes, Aayla Secura, YT-2400 freighters and Action VI Transports.)

S (secondary) canon referred to older, less accurate, or less coherent EU works, which would not ordinarily fit in the main continuity of G and C canon. Unless referenced by a G or C-level source, the story itself is considered non-continuity, but the non-contradicting elements were still a canon part of the Star Wars universe. For example, this included The Star Wars Holiday Special, the Marvel comics, the popular online roleplaying game Star Wars Galaxies and certain elements of a few N-canon stories.

N continuity material is also known as "non-canon" or "non-continuity" material. What-if stories (such as those published under the Infinities label), game stats, "comic" material such as Angry Birds Star Wars or Star Wars: Jedi Academy and anything else that was directly contradicted by higher canon and could not at all fit into continuity was placed into this category. "N-canon" is the only level that was not at all considered canon by Lucasfilm.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

david... posted:

it was born in the sarlaacs stomach and the lady is the daughter of moff tarkin

Neither of those things are accurate.

Sintas Vel was a female Kiffar born on the planet Kiffu in the year 34 BBY. At some point in her youth, Sintas would take up the profession of bounty hunting. It was during her career as a bounty hunter that Sintas would meet fellow bounty hunter, Boba Fett. The two fell in love and were married in 16 BBY, when Sintas was eighteen and Fett sixteen years old. Though Sintas told Fett that he was too young to understand what he was doing, he replied that he only needed to know that she was beautiful, a terrific shot, and that he could trust her. They exchanged the simple, four-lined Mandalorian marriage vow—though neither spoke Mando'a at the time and didn't understand the words it entailed—and Fett presented Sintas with a heart-of-fire gemstone from Kiffu, which was believed to contain a part of both individuals' souls in the Kiffar culture, and that she had strung upon a necklace.

Sintas and Fett settled on the agricultural world of Concord Dawn, where Fett gave up his life as a bounty hunter to become a Journeyman Protector, one of the planet's constables charged with upholding the law. A year later, in 15 BBY, the young couple had a daughter they named Ailyn. Around this time, however, Sintas was raped by Fett's superior officer in the Journeyman Protectors, a man whom Fett had considered a friend and mentor: Lenovar. Sintas never told anyone about being raped, not even Fett, though Fett would eventually find out the truth for himself. When he did, despite Sintas' pleas to the contrary, Fett killed Lenovar, a crime for which Fett was arrested, imprisoned, and tried. Because Fett didn't reveal the truth of Lenovar's own crimes to the magistrate in an attempt to protect Sintas, he was found unrepentantly guilty and exiled from Concord Dawn. Fett's exile and a series of bitter arguments and recriminations—including among them an instance where Fett demanded to know if Ailyn was really even his daughter—served to tear the couple apart and the two separated after three years of marriage when Ailyn was only two years old, leaving Sintas to care for her daughter alone. To this end, Sintas continued to work as a bounty hunter in order to support Ailyn.

Years later, Boba Fett sent Connor Freeman, a clone relative of Jango Fett, to Concord Dawn to find Sintas and protect her from unknown assassins that were after Fett's family. Connor did manage to find Vel's home on Concord Dawn. While Connor was surprised to find Sintas' young daughter at the door, Sintas came behind him to confront him as to what he wanted. Before he got much of a chance to answer, a Devaronian strike team in a landspeeder began shooting at them, and Connor proved his good intentions by helping them dispatch them. Relocating to an armored safehouse in town, Sintas started telling him about how much he reminded her of Fett, and kissed him. As he was eating a late dinner afterwards, Connor discovered a family holo, discovering that he had just kissed his brother's wife. Confronting him about it, Sintas explained Fett's time as a Journeyman Protector and how their marriage had played its course, with Ailyn getting up and making fun of them for kissing. Just then the safehouse door blew open, and Connor was able to deflect it from them which his cybernetic arm. As Governor Purton revealed himself as the man trying to kill Fett and his family, Connor and the Vels took cover from his grenades in the storage basement, with Sintas giving him a set of yellow Mandalorian armor. Purton then followed the grenades with a strike team, and they were able to force the governor into the basement with them. After killing his guards, Purton explained that he wanted revenge for Fett killing his son, Lenovar, which prompted Sintas to tell him that Fett had killed Lenovar because he had viciously raped her, which Fett didn't reveal during the trial in order to protect her. Not believing her and calling her a liar, Purton attempted to strangle her, forcing Connor to shoot and kill him. Sintas then kissed Connor goodbye, explaining that Fett or anyone like him just brought her trouble. Unbeknown to her, Fett was standing by the trapdoor right then, watching his wife and daughter in silence. He then left with Connor, without revealing himself to Sintas.

At some point prior to 1 ABY, a canister containing a holo-image of Sintas, Fett, and their daughter that belonged to Sintas was stolen by the criminal known as Pizztov.[4] The only image of the three together as a family, Sintas tracked Pizztov to the city of Bidamount where Pizztov was attempting to use the canister to extort over six million credits from Boba Fett with the threat of auctioning it off to the public in one of Bidamount's auction houses. Breaking through the floor of Pizztov's quarters, Sintas demanded the return of her property at blaster point, shooting one of Pizztov's bodyguards when he attempted to stop her. At the same time, Fett arrived, saving Sintas from a second guard's attempts to kill her, though he was looking to take the canister for himself. Pizztov fled and Sintas gave chase, eventually catching and shooting the man in the back; before she could claim her stolen property, Fett shot the canister from her hand. Pizztov attacked Fett with one of Sintas' blaster pistols, though he missed and was killed by Fett. Wounded, Sintas pleaded with Fett not to take the canister, and Fett explained that the reason he'd fired was because the canister had been rigged to explode if not opened correctly. Upon opening the canister and seeing the holo of his family along with Sintas' tearful reaction, Fett decided to return the canister to Sintas instead of destroying it as he had originally planned. Though she was grateful, Sintas was also dismayed when Fett left her again, this time wounded. Despite this second abandonment, Fett's actions in recovering the hologram gave Sintas hope that he still in some way cared for her.

Just before Ailyn's sixteenth birthday in the year 1 ABY, Sintas took a job pursuing a bounty for a large sum of credits. She planned to use the money to take her daughter to Coruscant in order to see the city and buy her some nice things for her birthday. Unfortunately, Sintas would never return home from her mission: she was captured and drugged with a sedative by a man looking to ransom her, possibly recognizing her as Boba Fett's ex-wife. When she didn't return, Ailyn believed Sintas to be dead and began to hate Fett, feeling as though it was Fett's fault for abandoning them. She became a bounty hunter, herself, and would devote her life to hating her father and make several attempts to find and kill him, even killing a clone she mistook for Fett and raising her own daughter, Mirta, to hate Fett. Ailyn also managed to recover the heart-of-fire necklace that Fett had given to Sintas from the man believed to have killed her, eventually passing it on to Mirta as part of another attempt to kill Fett. When Ailyn was killed by Jacen Solo in 40 ABY, Mirta and Fett were able to establish an uneasy peace between them, and together attempted to find out what had happened to Sintas. During one evening at the Oyu'baat tapcaf on Mandalore, Fett and Mirta were approached by the elderly Mandalorian Gotab who introduced himself as a Kiffar capable of reading the memories from the heart-of-fire gem Mirta had, in order to help shed light on Sintas' death. Gotab's insight and Mirta's further research led the pair to the planet Phaeda where they found Sintas not dead, but frozen in a slab of carbonite among the belonging of the dead gangster, Hidu Rezodar. Taking Sintas back to Mandalore, Fett and Mirta revived Sintas from carbon-freeze after nearly forty years with the help of Fett's doctor, Beluine. Initially, Sintas suffered from severe confusion, dizziness, sensitivity to sound, and blindness, and it soon came to light that she was suffering from amnesia as well, unable to recall large portions of her life or even who she was.

Though appearing to still be in her mid-thirties due to the carbon-freezing process, in her impaired state, Sintas was forced to rely on the kindness of strangers, living on Mandalore at the home of Goran Beviin—the closest person Fett had to a friend—and attended to by her granddaughter, Mirta, and Beviin's partner, Medrit. Mirta returned her heart-of-fire necklace to her, and the others, including Fett, attempted to remind her of her past, but made little progress. It was only when Jedi Knight Jaina Solo—on Mandalore seeking training from Fett in order to deal with her Sith Lord brother, Jacen—enlisted the help of Gotab, who was in fact not a Kiffar at all, but a Jedi-turned-Mandalorian well acquainted with Force healing, that any true progress was made. Gotab used the Force to restore Sintas' lost sight, and allow her to recover her lost memories.

With her lost memory returned, Sintas swore to avenge the death of Ailyn if the opportunity arose, and was able to explain the circumstances of her and Fett's divorce to her granddaughter, revealing that she had never told Ailyn the truth or raised her to hate Fett, but that Ailyn had attempted to fill in the blanks for herself after Sintas disappeared and made Fett out to be more callous in her mind than in reality. When Mirta married Ghes Orade, Sintas attended the celebratory feast afterward at the home of Orade's father, Novoc Vevut. Sintas was also able to make peace with Fett, who was already remorseful for his role in leaving her and abandoning his daughter. He gave her another heart-of-fire gem, a rarer and more expensive blue-colored one, along with a portfolio of stock shares and properties he owned, explaining that she could either keep or sell them in order to allow Sintas to never have to hunt bounties in order to make a living again. Fett also informed her that no matter what her decision, she would be welcome to stay on Mandalore for the rest of her life.

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 03:34 on Nov 30, 2014

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Howard Beale posted:

please don't post your fanfic in this thread tia~

The character of "Sintas" first appeared in the short comic, Outbid But Never Outgunned from Dark Horse Comics' Star Wars Tales 7, a story which primarily featured Boba Fett and a brief glimpse into what was, at the time, a mysterious past. Though the first twenty issues of Tales series canonicity was dubious at the time, Sintas' character was later canonized with appearances in both the Star Wars Gamer article, Unusual Suspects, and the Star Wars Insider article, The History of the Mandalorians where she's first identified as "Sintas Vel". She later featured in the Legacy of the Force novel series, receiving mentions in both Legacy of the Force: Bloodlines and Legacy of the Force: Sacrifice by author Karen Traviss, before making a full appearance in Traviss' third Legacy of the Force novel, Legacy of the Force: Revelation, where her character and history were further fleshed out.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

burritolingus posted:

I've heard, according to the EU, Palpatine did it all because he was trying to prepare for the Yuuzhan Vong invasion by uniting the inefficient Republic under a strong leadership. If that's true, yeah, he really isn't the bad guy here.

Same situation as a Dark Side Revan and the True Sith

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Young Freud posted:

Which is hilarious since you never see Boba Fett or any of the Mandolorians in KOTOR pull so much as a knife. They're all gun dudes. A better Mando training regime would be how to use a rocket pack and wrist flamethrowers.

You see the Mandalorians training at the Dxun camp in KOTOR 2 and they do plenty of hand-to-hand and vibroblade fighting. There's a whole sidequest there involving a hand-to-hand fighting ring you can participate in.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Young Freud posted:

Actually, it depends on which KOTOR play. In the first one, it's very obviously described as this, because the "Basilisk War Droid" actually appeared in the Dark Horse EU comics first before KOTOR...


But in KOTOR 2, it was retcon by Chris Avellone and the game developers to be similar to a semi-autonomous single-man space bike, largely because they felt the bestial appearance was "stupid" and tried to reconcile it with the more modern design of the films.


Avellone's depiction of the Basilisk may be more accurate - it looks strikingly similar to (Shadows of the Empire's) Price Xizor's Virago, a StarViper-class attack platform he bought from Mandalmotors, the Mandalorian ship engineering and construction firm. It's not at all out of the question that Mandalmotors would base the StarViper design off their proven Basilisk model, so it makes sense that the KOTOR 2 Basilisk would look like it does.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Otisburg posted:

wasn't the carbonite freezing in ep V which takes place literally thousands of years later presented as this dangerous experimental thing that might not have worked?

i get that technology is ridiculously stagnant in the setting but it's still silly that they made it into a commonplace routine thing in a story that takes place 4,000 years earlier

It's possible that the ESB freezing was more dangerous because it was being done in a facility designed to freeze Tibanna gas, not living captives? It was definitely dangerous - enough so that they froze Han to make sure it'd be safe to use on Luke - but some of that could have been due to the particulars of the situation, not just a well-established idea of carbonite freezing. Maybe all those TOR captives were frozen in a safe, designed-for-captives, freezing chamber instead of Lando's Tibanna freezer.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Holy poo poo, I thought I had found some bad stuff. This is the worst. Just the worst.

In case people don't click through:

"The Virtues of King Han Solo" was a song written by C-3PO during his attempts to aid Han Solo in his courtship of Leia Organa. C-3PO wrote at least fifteen verses for the song which he performed for the Solos in a voice that sounded much like that of popular singer Jukas Alim. The poetic song was meant to convince Organa of the virtues Solo possessed that would make him a worthy husband. Leia and Chewbacca did not like the song.

An excerpt of the song:
He's got his own planet,
Although it's kind of wild.
Wookiees love him.
Women love him.
He's got a winning smile!
Though he may seem cool and cocky,
He's more sensitive than he seems,

Chorus:
Han Solo,
What a man! Solo.
He's every Princess's dream!

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Acne Rain posted:

what is a darksaber, is it a broken lightsaber

like you turn it on and instead of a light blade black smoke comes out

The Darksaber battlestation was a superweapon built by the crime lord Durga the Hutt in 12 ABY. A member of the Besadii kajidic, Durga wanted to use the superweapon to hold ransom entire planets and spread his influence throughout the galaxy. Based on the set of plans for the original Death Star battlestation stolen by Durga from the former Imperial Information Center on the galactic capital of Coruscant, the Darksaber was designed by the engineer Bevel Lemelisk, the creator of the Death Star and a number of other superweapons. Lemelisk adjusted the plans to the Hutt's wishes, removing all the Imperial padding and leaving only the central superlaser weapon, encased in a cylindrical durasteel shell. The resulting shape closely resembled that of the lightsaber, the traditional weapon of the Jedi Knights, so Lemelisk christened his creation accordingly: the Darksaber.

Located in the Hoth asteroid field, the Darksaber Project, as it was also known, was financed by Orko SkyMine Asteroid Processing Corporation, a faux corporation owned by Durga. However, the construction of the superweapon was plagued with difficulties. The materials purchased from low-bid contractors were of poor quality; the computer cores provided by Durga's ally, Sulamar, were outdated; and the hive-minded Taurill species who assembled the Darksaber were often distracted, and, as a result, tended to make mistakes in the construction. As he witnessed that, Lemelisk started to lose faith in his project, but he continued with the work in fear of displeasing Durga, and construction on the Darksaber dragged to the closing stages. By that time, the New Republic became aware of Durga's superweapon and tracked his yacht to the Darksaber's construction site. A three-man commando team led by General Crix Madine was subsequently dispatched to sabotage the weapon and leave it adrift in space until a larger fleet could arrive to destroy it.

The New Republic team failed in its mission, however, and two members of the team were killed, while Madine was captured and brought before Durga on the Darksaber's bridge, where he was executed as well. Just as Madine was shot by Durga, a New Republic strike force led by General Wedge Antilles arrived to engage the Darksaber. Certain that his weapon was fully functional, Durga commanded his crew to take it into the asteroid belt in order to evade pursuit, while Lemelisk, who was not so sure about the Darksaber's operational status, escaped. As Antilles's forces attacked the Darksaber, Durga took his weapon into the most dangerous part of the asteroid field, where the Darksaber's way was blocked by two massive asteroids. Durga tried to use the superlaser to clear the path, but the weapon did not work, and the Darksaber was crushed by the asteroids. Lemelisk was, in turn, captured by Antilles's forces, and, after a trial, was executed for war crimes.

Edit:

There was also a black lightsaber used by Mandalorians called the Darksaber. They fought Obi-Wan with it and then Darth Maul had it for a while:

The Darksaber was an ancient, black-bladed lightsaber. Unlike most other lightsabers, the Darksaber's blade was nearly flat, thin, and curved to a point more typical of a metallic sword. The black core of the blade appeared to draw in all surrounding light and color, leaving a faint white, electrical aura along its edges, it hummed with a higher-pitched whine than its more common lightsaber counterparts when the blade was active, and made a sound like a whistle when it was swung. Once held by the Jedi Order, during a period of collapse in the Galactic Republic's power, the Darksaber was stolen by members of the Mandalorian warrior clans. Over time, the black lightsaber was passed down through generations of the Vizsla clan, and when Tor Vizsla founded the radical Mandalorian splinter group known as the Death Watch, he chose the Darksaber as the symbol of his authority as the sect's Secret Mandalore.

Upon Tor Vizsla's death, the ancient blade was entrusted to his clan kinsman Pre Vizsla, the current leader of Death Watch, and reigned as the Secret Mandalore well into the pan-galactic Clone Wars. Early in the war, the Darksaber was brought against the Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi in a duel on Mandalore's moon, Concordia. Though Vizsla's skill with the black blade was such that he could fight evenly with Kenobi for a time, the ancient lightsaber could not defend Vizsla from the Jedi Master's Force powers. Only the timely intervention of Vizsla's Death Watch troops ensured their leader's victory by forcing Kenobi to retreat. After Death Watch was banished from the Mandalore system, Vizsla led his people to the planet Carlac. There, the Death Watch leader came into conflict with the Jedi Padawan Ahsoka Tano whom Vizsla attempted to kill with the Darksaber. After a short but heated bout, the young Jedi fled from Vizsla, and escaped the world with her life.

In 20 BBY, Vizsla led the Death Watch into an alliance with the Sith Lords Darth Maul and Savage Opress, assembling a criminal army with which they were able to bring down the leaders of the pacifistic New Mandalorians. When Vizsla betrayed the Sith in the wake of their victory, Maul challenged the Mandalorian soldier to single combat for leadership, and upon killing Vizsla after a fierce struggle, Maul claimed the Darksaber as his own, and with it leadership over Death Watch. Only weeks later, Maul was forced to use the Darksaber in a duel against his former master, the Dark Lord of the Sith Darth Sidious, who sought to bring the renegade Sith Lord back under his control. Despite wielding the Darksaber alongside his own red-bladed lightsaber, Maul was defeated and subdued by Sidious.

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 19:29 on Dec 3, 2014

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Acne Rain posted:

is it a ship that looks like a lightsaber or is it a little lightsaber handle that blows up the planet and yourself when you press the button

It's a ship that looks like a lightsaber but they screwed up while building it and it didn't work when they tried to fire it.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.
Kreia can come off a little South Park sometimes - both sides suck! - but if you read the game as a whole, it tells a bit more of a story.

The worst EU content absolutely must be the kinect dance game - check out their take on the ROTJ Death Star II throne room confrontation. Watch for the emperor's intro around 2:00 in: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=84YXPw4htnQ

Edit: the emperor's unblinking stare is kind of out there

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Hellsau posted:

It turns out there are only 3 canon sources in Star Wars now - the movies, the tv series, and the Kinect Dance game. The villain in Episode 7 is going to be the random jedi guy who beat the Emperor in a dance-off and is now ruler of the Empire.

They should have rolled out that video for the ep 7 trailer

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Wicker Man posted:

Speaking of the starwars games, in KOTOR was there ever a reason to not dual wield or use a two hander?

One lightsaber looks more like a "classic" Jedi/Sith and both games were so easy by the end that you really didn't need the extra min-maxing from dual-wielding anyways.

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 22:51 on Dec 13, 2014

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.
I don't think Han Solo ever hosed the otter, it was female but I think they met after he married Leia.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

lfield posted:

A Mofference was a secret conference held by the Imperial Central Committee of Grand Moffs in the secluded Mofference room of their Moffship.

"I bid you all Dark Greetings!"
―A quote from Grand Moff Hissa, used by the Wookieepedia community to represent their own Mofferences

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Woolie Wool posted:

I think that's Grand Moff Hissa, the guy who gave us the Mofference.

why do I know this :ohdear:

It is Hissa, and that's Zorba the Hutt he has tied up. Hissa is trying to find Leia so he can marry her to Trioculus, who was a three-eyed self-declared son of Palpatine, and he captures Zorba the Hutt and Zorba says he'll give away Leia's location in exchange for his freedom. Once Hissa has the location of Leia, he throws Zorba in the Sarlacc pit on Tattoine rather than set him free, but Zorba survives since the Sarlacc can't digest Hutt flesh.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Tarquinn posted:

Okay, what's the story behind the red astromech droid the Jawas want to sell to the Skywalkers, but that explodes before the deal? What amazing adventures; which crime syndicate die it bust before Episode IV?

We've already covered this one - that droid is force-sensitive and foresaw how important R2-D2 was to returning balance to the force and blew its own motivator so that R2 would go with the Skywalkers instead. There was probably more backstory to it than that BBY (Before the Battle of Yavin)

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

sexy young infidel posted:

does anyone have pictures of mara jade

There are thousands of course, just GIS.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

Gammatron 64 posted:

The EU explains everything. Every single alien in the Cantina has a backstory. And he's probably a badass and knows the main characters somehow. The Star Wars movies were filled to the brim with imagination and wonder. The EU explains every little detail and sweeps it all away. If there was a character in the movies who was an alien, all members of his species do what he does. Every other person with a Jedi, Sith, Bounty Hunter, Smuggler or Politician. There aren't any other walks of life. The Force has no mystery - it's become mundane. The Star Wars EU is a black hole of imagination. It takes creativity and drowns it.

That's why I suspect/hope that midichlorians may have been a troll by Lucas of Wookiepedia editors/EU authors rather than just retarded. The EU ruins so much of the mystery and wonder of the universe Lucas created by over-explaining everything, so Lucas says gently caress you all, I'm going to give a stupid over-explanation to the one thing left you can't ruin, the force.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

ElGroucho posted:

No, I just made it up, but I feel like I missed my calling

Is there still time to be a sub-average EU writer?

ElGroucho posted:

Whoa, this poo poo is too easy. People got paid for this dogshit?

Please don't make up EU stuff in this thread if it isn't really published, the real writing is bad enough and when I read something here I want to know that some moron actually published it somewhere.

Edit: Also

muscles like this? posted:

Iko Uwais, Yayan Ruhian and Cecep Arif Rahman

HOLY poo poo

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

spacemang_spliff posted:

wasn't his name like Dash Render or something?

lol

the n64 game was pretty cool though

Dash Rendar was in the movies too, he was flying the snowspeeder on Hoth that flew in and blew up the AT-AT after Wedge tripped it with the tow cable.

gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

RFC2324 posted:

No, that was Corran Horn who hosed the space weasel. Too bad she was allergic to his jizz

It was the other way around, he was allergic to her. Also I am amazed that Selonians appeared in EU fiction multiple times.

Edit: I guess they were kind of allergic to each other? http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Corran_Horn

quote:

Ruluwoor made a stunning impression at the ball, and later she and Horn, who had hit it off, made love. While Horn enjoyed the experience immensely, he proved allergic to her fur and her skin was irritated by his sweat, resulting in an uncomfortable experience for both afterward. Knowing their relationship would not work out, they parted amicably.

gohuskies fucked around with this message at 05:31 on Sep 19, 2015

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gohuskies
Oct 23, 2010

I spend a lot of time making posts to justify why I'm not a self centered shithead that just wants to act like COVID isn't a thing.

spacemang_spliff posted:

I know I shouldn't be surprised but there's a force sensitive droid?

You remember when Luke and Uncle Owen were buying C-3P0 and R2-D2 from the Jawas, how they were originally going to buy a different R2 unit, it blew its motivator and they bought R2 instead? Yeah, that red R2 unit was a force sensitive droid somehow. It sensed how important the R2-D2/Luke relationship was to saving the galaxy and blew its own motivator when chosen so that the Skywalkers would buy R2-D2 instead, setting into motion pretty much all the events later to take place in the entire SW universe.

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