We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Cyberball 2072 posted:

If there is one bit of Eu that Doesnt make me cringe it's Star Wars Tales, in fact thats all I want from any star wars EU, anthology style random short stories about the crazy rear end universe, not more crap like Quinlan Vas; badass Jedi, more badass than Johnny 5 Aces himself.

tag and bink are pretty cool, two bumbling rebels just trying to cover their own asses and brushing shoulders with all the power players in the universe in the process

# ¿ Sep 29, 2015 11:40

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:00

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

if anyone doesnt want to bother going looking for the poster

# ¿ Oct 19, 2015 13:17

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

that's fuckin dumb

# ¿ Oct 26, 2015 03:19

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

William Bear posted:

You get the feeling that at some point in the EU, authors just made species via mad libs.

well yeah, but with any extended universe this big that's just a givin

# ¿ Oct 30, 2015 06:57

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

bogans are roughly australia's equivalent of hicks or rednecks

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 00:20

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Acne Rain posted:

i can just imagine in 20 years, they start making episodes 10-12 and they have to declare that this EU is noncanon too but they're still making another and the audience of these movies are young enough that they've grown up with this EU and get upset that they aren't canon, but not only that but this cycle starts happening EVERY 20 years of trashing the last EU, getting a new one, and no one learning anything

here's a little thing about how star wars is immortal http://uproxx.com/movies/2015/10/how-star-wars-ends/

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 00:20

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

i was just talking with some friends about the new star wars film and had a sudden realisation. if we go by what are apparently the galactic standard naming conventions for clones in the star wars universe, perhaps finn is a clone of a jedi named fin!?

# ¿ Nov 6, 2015 04:47

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Shalebridge Cradle posted:

Oh bullshit you almost had with your

oh well nevermind

goddamnit

# ¿ Nov 15, 2015 22:52

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

hey if lightsabers cut straight through anything how come whenever someone gets stabbed with one they seem to manage to get suuported by it like they would with a sword

# ¿ Dec 5, 2015 06:02

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

for all the talk of how stupid spinning in lightsaber fights in the prequels is, i'm watching the despecialised edition of an new hope and maybe episode v because a friend wants me to go see episode 7 tomorrow evening and even in a new hope during the fight with vader obi wan does a spinny move

# ¿ Dec 16, 2015 11:02

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

rey was mad flipping out about meeting Han solo, THE smuggler pilot so I think it's fair to say she had some hero worship going on too and had just found out that legends die just the same as everyone else. I thought it was a nice differentiating touch that rey knew him as a smuggler but Finn knew him, through his imperial upbringing, as a general of the rebellion

# ¿ Dec 20, 2015 22:57

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Dr. Lariat posted:

This is the true beauty of this thread, anytime someone says something, everyone else says "gently caress, that's too dumb to be true" but then they look it up and it's true. Every time.

gungans play a sport called gulliball

# ¿ Dec 24, 2015 04:51

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

I hope they called her captain phasma as a setup to call the next one "The Phasma Menace"

# ¿ Dec 26, 2015 23:13

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Dr. Lariat posted:

I present to you the ANH "Mary Sue/Marty Stu" rewrite. For the writer who thinks Luke is too human and relatable and should've been as perfect, plastic and flawless as Rey. Because boys need role models who are superior to themselves in every way.

*Luke is an expert survivalist living on his own in Tatooine. He isn't subservient to Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru. He loyally waits for a lost companion to return.
*Luke steals R2-D2 from a Tusken Raider on a Bantha who has captured R2-D2. The Tusken just watches and rides away.
*Luke can understand everything R2-D2 says. C-3PO is written out since he's not needed to translate.
*R2-D2 follows Luke around obediently instead of running away and generally just thinks Luke's awesome.
*Luke meets Obi-Wan and tells him he's just a nobody and didn't even know the Force was real. Obi-Wan hands Luke his father's saber and then disappears from the movie. No training required.
*Luke experiences a "vision" upon touching the saber for unexplained reasons. Magic lightsaber?
*Luke enters the Cantina and knocks down Ponda Baba and Dr. Evazan with a stick when they threaten him.
*Luke finds the Falcon with only Chewie inside as TIE Fighters start bombing the area. He jumps in and flies it with some wild maneuvers through Beggar's Canyon while Chewie works the gun port. They destroy the TIEs and return to get Han.
*Chewie is injured while running from Stormtroopers to get to the Falcon and Luke takes over as co-pilot.
*Luke fixes the Falcon's malfunctions by himself before Han can figure out what to do.
*Han is so impressed with Luke that by the time they get to the remains of Alderaan, he offers Luke a permanent job.
*They sneak into the back door of the Death Star unnoticed and somehow instantly find Leia's cell.
*Luke uses the Jedi Mind Trick on the guards at Leia's cell to get inside. (First time the Jedi Mind Trick appears in the movie.)
*Leia says Luke is amazing, thanks him and won't stop talking about wanting to run away with him and devote herself to helping him. Luke is not interested and says he just wants to be friends.
*Han somehow instantly finds the head Stormtrooper Commander and says he'll kill him if he doesn't shut down the tractor beam. The Stormtrooper Commander complies and they throw him in the trash compactor.
*Darth Vader finds the heroes. Luke watches as Han Solo confronts Darth Vader and is killed.
*Luke attacks Darth Vader and holds his own. He drops his saber but he is able to Force grab it before Vader can. (First time Force grab is seen in the movie.) Vader offers to train Luke. Luke lands several blows on Vader and cuts off his hand while remaining unscathed and Vader collapses in a heap. But there is an explosion that ruptures the platform between them and Luke must join Leia, Chewie and R2 back on the Falcon.
*Meanwhile, Wedge leads a small squad to do a bombing run on the Death Star. He easily hits the target without facing much resistance or even thinking about it much and the Death Star blows up.
*Luke officially joins the Rebellion at the end of the movie and is instantly selected to pilot a ship on a vital mission they've been waiting years to do. Their best pilot who just blew up the Death Star, Wedge, is passed over.

lmao

# ¿ Dec 31, 2015 04:55

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

how many force sensitive whales (literally whales) have been in the EU

theres 9 different kinds of animal the get turned up when you search for whale, you'll have to be more specific

do you mean the naboo whale, which jar jar binks hunted with his father, george,

on an old-timey sailboat

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 01:45

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

oh god fuckin DAMNIT "george r. binks" is just a loving pun on jar jar binks gently caress

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

I was just thinking basically a planet of earth like whales.

a talking force sensitive blue whale or humpback or something

well everything in star wars happened a long time ago in a galaxy far far away i think you'll find, which is why everything on the wiki, including breasts, chairs, tables, etc, is referred to in past tense. ergo, whales do not exist

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 01:49

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

this isn't from wookipedia

this is from the bigger luke wiki

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 02:06

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

same

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 03:06

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

thats all bullshit he just got drunk in a bar and got into a fight

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 04:47

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

http://starwars.wikia.com/wiki/Darth_Millennial
bloody millennials

# ¿ Jan 5, 2016 05:39

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

Germstore posted:

poodoo means fodder not poop; I'm starting to question your credentials

congratulations on being more fluent in some bullshit star wars language, your prize is judgement

# ¿ Jan 9, 2016 14:39

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

in their defence, they at least chose good planets to hide on. who would have thought that an ancient sage who had been living in luxury for god knows how long would go live in a backward rear end swamp, or that obi wan would have gone and hung out on the planet where the biggest failure of his life began

# ¿ Jan 9, 2016 14:49

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# ¿ May 16, 2024 18:00

quite stretched out: Feb 17, 2011; the chillest

McDragon posted:

I think I read somewhere that everything is past tense because it's a long time ago in a galaxy far far away, but that could have been a joke. You can never tell.

this is the best part of the star wars wiki, its hilarious slavish devotion to pretending that the star wars universe is actually a real thing

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

yeah but I mean a chair is a loving chair. A chair is something that a humanoid sits in regardless of the time period. Idk. I guess the fact that there is an article about loving chairs bothers me more than tensing. I wonder what kind of drama goes on behind the scenes with wookipedia editors.

but there's no proof that chairs exist in the future of the far past! what if the galaxy ends the day after -insert latest ever event to have occurred in star wars-

# ¿ Jan 10, 2016 23:46

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > We love the StarWars EU this much *outstretched arms nailed to Luu'uks X-Wing*