Dumb Marketing Moves: Tell me about Zoos

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SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Quad posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-XzQcpcgCKY

C'mon, try and bust Balzac.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F38WmjxnvMk

Give it a whack.

The weirdest part of this is that there's a small town just outside of my city actually called Balzac. We do call it Ballsac, Alberta, to be honest.

# ¿ Dec 9, 2014 12:05

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# ¿ May 4, 2024 23:34

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Bloodfart McCoy posted:

Did this commercial annoy anyone else?

Some middle aged man and his friends have nothing better to do but use their BRAND NEW LG PHONES to help rebuild a carousel so some kid, who is definitely too old for carousel rides , can experience a real childhood or something.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lGsG-yJrFig

I operate a carousel from time to time as part of my job, no one is ever too old for a carousel ride.

# ¿ Dec 21, 2014 07:02

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Discount Dracula posted:

There have been a few examples of failed marketing via internet participation. I think there is no greater example of this than when the internet sent Pitbull to Alaska. It's beautiful.

http://finance.yahoo.com/news/pitbull-heading-north-walmart-kodiak-alaska-232922477.html

Is it normal for reasonably successful musicians to team up with Wal-Mart like this? They must have paid him a lot. Because seriously, Wal-Mart.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2015 23:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I hope I don't end up loving money so much that I lose all dignity.

Not that I have much of either, but still.

# ¿ Jan 4, 2015 23:50

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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"No goal" is weird no matter the context, to be honest. Unless you're catering specifically to losers, in both sport and life.

# ¿ Jan 9, 2015 01:51

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I don't know, if I was some miserable housewife who had nothing better to do than get sloshed all day, I'd at least want my vodka to have some flavour.

# ¿ Jan 25, 2015 03:57

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Jastiger posted:

Also, I am not sure if I brought it up here, but I'm going to go ahead and assume anyone driving a Chevy Colorado is a complete rear end in a top hat based on the commercials they were pitching.
Oh poo poo look at this human being and his fuel efficient vehicle. Better get the HUGE TRUCK YEAHH BACK IN BLACK.

Trust me, they are all like this. Everyone I know who owns a truck has completely bought into the marketing. They drive trucks because they're tough! They post pictures of their dream trucks on Facebook with a "gently caress YEAH HUGE TOUGH rear end TRUCK!" And they're so brand obsessed that they also post about [competitors] "weak pathetic little toy truck". This goes for men and women alike.

It's doubly bad where I live because pick-up trucks are pretty much a cultural identity thing too. We're supposed to love Alberta Beef, wear Wranglers, and drive half-tons.

# ¿ Feb 3, 2015 06:56

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Goons argue over the stupidest poo poo.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 03:00

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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VendaGoat posted:

SO you're not denying the small penis allegation?

Some of us are pretty proud of that fact, actually.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 03:44

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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VendaGoat posted:

I do not keep a spreadsheet on posters, but are you not a woman?

If you are, I can understand the pride.

I suppose in these post-Tumblr times, even calling myself a princess isn't evidence enough.

# ¿ Feb 6, 2015 10:48

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Lumberjack Bonanza posted:

*blows smoke in your face* gently caress off, nerd.

Hey, that nerd already smells bad enough, no need to make it worse with your lovely smoke stench.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2015 10:13

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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What was that newspaper comic that had a week-long shitfit about cup sizes in small and large? The protagonist went on and on and on and on about how those sizes couldn't exist without a medium to compare to? Or something like that. I feel the series should be posted here.

# ¿ Mar 19, 2015 10:33

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I bought tide pods or some equivalent while travelling and being the cheap industrious rear end in a top hat I am, would throw all my clothes in the shower or tub, soak them with a pod, and wash them by hand or foot. One time I didn't let the pod soak long enough and when I stepped on it it exploded soap all over the bathroom, splattered the ceiling, got it in my eye. I had to bring a chair into the shower to wash off the ceiling.

I also got held up at Christchurch airport because they were in my luggage and they looked like mandarin oranges on the scanner.

Laundry pods are generally just bad news.

# ¿ Jan 17, 2018 21:16

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Panfilo posted:

Do they not have laundromats in Canada? How dreadful!

I was just being cheap and lazy.

# ¿ Jan 19, 2018 02:10

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I washed my clothes by hand in a bucket for two months in the jungle AMA

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 06:06

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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small bird pudding posted:

Was it a top loading bucket or a front loading bucket?

Top loading. The agitator was my foot.

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 06:30

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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The bucket was communal, shared with my bunkmates and agitated in the well water shower then we hung our clothes outside. We got a good taste of the olden days and you could probably market it as an adventurous experience that people would pay to do. I'm in the ecotourism business, people legit want to live like this I did

# ¿ Jan 23, 2018 07:53

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Are you all forgetting about Hocky Scores

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VbZMnF1VNlE

# ¿ Feb 1, 2018 01:46

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Next in unnecessarily gendered products: PepsiCo doesn't realize women eat chips, seeks to make a lady-friendly crunchless dainty chip that we will no longer be ashamed to consume.

http://freakonomics.com/podcast/indra-nooyi/

Pepsi idiot posted:

DUBNER: I understand that men and women eat chips very differently. Can you tell us the differences?

NOOYI: When you eat out of a flex bag — one of our single-serve bags — especially as you watch a lot of the young guys eat the chips, they love their Doritos, and they lick their fingers with great glee, and when they reach the bottom of the bag they pour the little broken pieces into their mouth, because they don’t want to lose that taste of the flavor, and the broken chips in the bottom. Women would love to do the same, but they don’t. They don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth.

DUBNER: So is there a male and female version of chips that you’re playing with, or no?

NOOYI: It’s not a male and female as much as “are there snacks for women that can be designed and packaged differently?” And yes, we are looking at it, and we’re getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon. For women, low-crunch, the full taste profile, not have so much of the flavor stick on the fingers, and how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse. The whole design capability we built in PepsiCo was to allow design to work with innovation. Not just on packaging colors, but to go through the entire cycle, and say, “All the way to the product in the pantry, or how it’s being carried around, or how they eat it in the car, or drink it in the car, what should be the design of the product, the package, the experience, so that we can influence the entire chain?”

This woman has never actually seen another woman eat a chip before. We turn into enraged monsters when we consume chips. Just try taking one from my bag, I fuckin dare you.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 22:58

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I will fight anyone who tries to give me a non crunchy chip. I've left bags of chips open in humid environments and they're loving gross the next day.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 23:38

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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See now THAT is a marketing campaign.

# ¿ Feb 5, 2018 23:55

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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My husband actively buys lady soaps and shampoos because coconut or vanilla is the best. He's never been interested in gender marketing, he just gets what he likes. Although lady products allows him to get things in purple which is his favourite colour.

# ¿ Feb 7, 2018 18:56

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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I work in a gift shop and the aversion to boys liking pink or purple things is way excessive. I've seen parents loudly yell at their sons for wanting purple pens or neon pink giraffes. Worst was a male lion stuffy that comes in a small tiger striped carrier with mesh sides and handles that was also plush. The mom was willing to buy it but the dad couldn't handle it because it kind of sort of resembles a handbag due to the soft sides of the carrier. His son now owns a MAN PURSE and he repeated that many times. That was one of the best examples of fragile masculinity I've ever seen in person. Emasculated by a lion in a pet carrier. It was amazing.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 19:18

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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oldpainless posted:

Weird how pink is not masculine when the penis is pink and it’s the most male thing there is as I plunge it savagely into another mans rear end in a top hat night after night.

No name joke. I just like your post.

# ¿ Feb 8, 2018 22:37

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Creature posted:

I always assumed that ‘man size’ tissues was code for ‘wanking’, because of the larger surface area for both your shame and your tears.

Don't be silly. Women only use tissues to dab at their delicate tears when they break a nail.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 00:32

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Quote-Unquote posted:

I used to dye my hair when I was younger, and it never ceased to amaze me that if I bought the dye with a picture of a man on the box it'd cost me 50-100% more than the exact same colour, made by the same company or at least parent company, with a woman on the box.

Quick price check at Boots online confirms this is still the case:
cheapest black hair dye with a man on the box: £6.35
cheapest black hair dye with a woman on the box: £4

My husband always bought "women's hair dye" but that's because his preferred colour isn't even available for men.

Dark red? Maybe if you're a homo cuz you FLAMIN

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 19:16

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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You can make bigger profits out of people who are ashamed to buy your product.

Women dye their hair for fun. Men dye their hair because they're suffering a midlife crisis.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2018 19:30

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Focusing on grammar rather than the argument is the easiest way to be dismissive and deflect away from the discussion and that's why "not all men" is a thing. It's a tactic. And it's obnoxious.

# ¿ Feb 11, 2018 01:45

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Thanks, I hate it.

# ¿ Mar 12, 2018 05:15

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Imagine someone lying to cover their mistake. Crazy!

# ¿ Mar 14, 2018 15:16

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Krispy Wafer posted:

The next civilization that unearths this civilization is going to think our lives were pretty loving exciting if they believe we were always on the lookout for masquerading robots.

Now that's a good movie idea.

# ¿ Jun 1, 2018 17:56

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Coffin surfboards are rad as hell

# ¿ Aug 2, 2018 14:21

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Len posted:

I wish my fiancee would understand Papa John's is bad. It's her favorite chain pizza

Mu husband orders Papa John's frequently even though he likes Dominos better, but he gets coupons in emails so that inspires him.

# ¿ Aug 26, 2018 23:56

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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MrYenko posted:

Does anyone pronounce filet with a hard t at the end?

I loving hope not

# ¿ Aug 28, 2018 16:45

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Cake is a form of bread, so who cares of your bread is cake?

# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 16:58

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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# ¿ Sep 7, 2018 19:30

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Cinnamon toast is far superior to fairly bread, if you're just going to spread sugar on bread and eat it.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 02:05

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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So how about the low-fat scam perpetrated by the sugar industry? If we're gonna be so obsessed about sugar.

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 19:31

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Prokhor Zakharov posted:

Well done steak is perfectly fine.

PCOS Bill rereg found

# ¿ Sep 8, 2018 22:29

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# ¿ May 4, 2024 23:34

SulfurMonoxideCute: Feb 9, 2008; I was under direct orders not to die
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Barudak posted:

If you just ate a spoonful of sugar it probably wouldnt do too much to your teeth versus the aspic horrors that were still served in that era.

A spoonful of sugar also helps aspic horrors go down

# ¿ Sep 10, 2018 00:08

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > Dumb Marketing Moves: Tell me about Zoos

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