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Boss, to coworker: Yeah we're really going to need you to show up on time. Work starts at 8, not 8:15. Me: Yeah we're really going to need you to show up on time. Work starts a 8, not 8:15 Coworker: uhhhh why did you-- Me: lol 5 just 5 |
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Dec 21, 2014 18:49
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Friend, at bar: I gotta say I'm getting tired of all these IPAs. There's more to beer than hops. Me: *points at friend. doesn't say a word* Friend: dude, stop |
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Dec 21, 2014 18:51
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Friend: so what i've done is i've taken all our friends and ranked them into a tier list Me: this thread sucks Friend: So starting with tier 1a you've got you, me, tony, mikey Me: *starts pulling pants down* Friend: then tier 1b is joe, randal, steve Me: gas Friend: then i put all the girls together in the girl box Me: *spreads buttcheeks, points rear end at friend's face* |
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Dec 21, 2014 18:55
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Me: so did you catch the latest smoobles? He came back from space. Coworker: Smoobles? Me:  Coworker: I don't understand you anymore these days. Is something wrong? Me: ah, smoobled again Coworker: Please stop |
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Dec 21, 2014 18:56
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*i see people fighting violently* me: wait!! i know how to solve this. who wants me to draw them soemthing
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Dec 21, 2014 18:57
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Coworker: So then Amy says "actually, they're real potatoes!" *everyone in room laughs* Me: el-oh-el Coworker: did you just... |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:01
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co-worker: "so i just saw tony -" me: "ugh, gas this callout thread bullshit" Co-worker: "what the gently caress is wrong with -" me: *Scratches the number 1 into the desk with a pen* "mods???"
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Dec 21, 2014 19:03
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*passes withdrawal slip to bank teller, silently shaking with laughter* teller: lets see, it looks like you want to make a withdrawal for $420.69 me: *barely containing my mirth* its a funny number teller: ok. heres your money me: *tears streaming down my face* omg, lol...lol
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Dec 21, 2014 19:04
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Cop: You can't drink that beer in public Me: That's bullshit Cop: It's the law Me: Mods suck *is murdered* |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:05
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WD-40 posted:*passes withdrawal slip to bank teller, silently shaking with laughter* |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:06
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ZeroCount posted:Me: so did you catch the latest smoobles? He came back from space.
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Dec 21, 2014 19:06
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me: please officer im begging you. aqrrest me cop: i dont understand why youre doing this me: im so glad to have you in service. if you would just put m,e in jail for six hours with your autograph it would bring me great joy
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Dec 21, 2014 19:07
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Salmiakki posted:me: please officer im begging you. aqrrest me lol
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Dec 21, 2014 19:08
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doctor: your bloodwork came back and it looks like youre chronically deficient in vitamins a, c and d...have you been getting enough fruits and vegetables? me: naw girl, im on that mac n cheese diet doctor: im a man and also you are dying of rickets
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Dec 21, 2014 19:08
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WD-40 posted:doctor: your bloodwork came back and it looks like youre chronically deficient in vitamins a, c and d...have you been getting enough fruits and vegetables?
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Dec 21, 2014 19:12
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WD-40 posted:doctor: your bloodwork came back and it looks like youre chronically deficient in vitamins a, c and d...have you been getting enough fruits and vegetables?
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Dec 21, 2014 19:16
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WD-40 posted:doctor: your bloodwork came back and it looks like youre chronically deficient in vitamins a, c and d...have you been getting enough fruits and vegetables? lmao |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:18
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friend: im being harrassed by my coworker again me: oh shut the gently caress up with your gay gimmick already |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:24
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new guy at work: hi, I'm steve, I just transferred over from the downtown office, nice to meet you. me: *runs over and enthusiastically hugs him* welcome! I love you! let's me friends!
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Dec 21, 2014 19:25
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Siluvayne posted:new guy at work: hi, I'm steve, I just transferred over from the downtown office, nice to meet you. you're saying someone doesn't do this at your job? your workplace must suck. 
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Dec 21, 2014 19:33
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coworker: ugh. can you believe it? i was hit with a penalty by the boss because i was 2 minutes late. 2 minutes!! me: haha sounds like u just got trolled.a u mad ---------------- |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:35
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Mike Maddux posted:coworker: ugh. can you believe it? i was hit with a penalty by the boss because i was 2 minutes late. 2 minutes!! me(talking to hr): yeah this dude is best friends with the dude who stalked me cowa: lol he's still mad! hes still mad!!!
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Dec 21, 2014 19:36
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WindmillSlayer posted:me(talking to hr): yeah this dude is best friends with the dude who stalked me haha sounds like u just got trolled.a u mad ---------------- |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:40
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boss: I've noticed you haven't been getting along well with your coworkers, and I feel like it's affecting your work. I think we all need to meet and work this conflict out, so you guys can be more productive. me: i thought this was the chill firm...
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Dec 21, 2014 19:41
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I know I'm probably alone here and please dont take this as an endorsement of his posting behavior but Mike Maddux's new av is pretty good |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:46
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me: smoobled again coworker: stop saying that me: i think the best posters are the shadowy cabal of chilluminati who conspire to arbitrate what is and is not "funny," "BYOB," or "chill" by constantly browbeating other posters into conforming to their expectations. it is really cool and totally not cliquey or douchey in any sense of the word. |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:48
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GEExCEE posted:I know I'm probably alone here and please dont take this as an endorsement of his posting behavior but Mike Maddux's new av is pretty good i think my posting is just fine, but thank you. ---------------- |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:53
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friend: hey man you wanna go hit up the club? le Me: [begins to act out the horrific events of the World Trade Center attack] friend: you could've just said no, jesus. |
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Dec 21, 2014 19:56
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WD-40 posted:*passes withdrawal slip to bank teller, silently shaking with laughter* |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:05
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ya me too i called my boss a friend of the family kike human being and got fired yesterday 
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Dec 21, 2014 20:09
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FartGhost posted:i think the best posters are the shadowy cabal of chilluminati who conspire to arbitrate what is and is not "funny," "BYOB," or "chill" by constantly browbeating other posters into conforming to their expectations. it is really cool and totally not cliquey or douchey in any sense of the word. ca n we make thgat the next forum hovertext please
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Dec 21, 2014 20:12
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Salmiakki posted:ca n we make thgat the next forum hovertext please seconded |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:22
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FartGhost posted:me: smoobled again lol remind me who this is from originally |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:30
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lappydore64 |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:30
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me: im gay my family: please nathan stop saying you are gay your grandma's very sick me: im gay lol my family: just go please youre killing your grandma me: im gay |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:35
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*gets home, looks around the house* I can't wait for this place to be deleted
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Dec 21, 2014 20:37
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WD-40 posted:doctor: your bloodwork came back and it looks like youre chronically deficient in vitamins a, c and d...have you been getting enough fruits and vegetables? |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:37
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me at a new school: boy it sure is hard to make friends i wish i knew how to make friends better other student: wanna play a game or something new guy? me: sure yeah let's play truth or dare *gives myself a swirlie* yeah now i have tons of friends |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:41
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Dont bully me! posted:Friend, at bar: I gotta say I'm getting tired of all these IPAs. There's more to beer than hops. |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:49
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Siluvayne posted:*gets home, looks around the house* I can't wait for this place to be deleted |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:54
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