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Siluvayne posted:*gets home, looks around the house* I can't wait for this place to be deleted hahaha |
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Dec 21, 2014 20:59
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mom: honey, dinner's ready me: [unintelligible] mom: what?? me: lmbo mom: can you please just come and eat? me: rznv mom: have you been drinking again? me: no mom I smoked weed. rofl. I'm so high. mom: you son of a bitch me: rofl you got that right. owned.
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Dec 21, 2014 21:00
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friend: so hey uh wanna hang out? me: where are you on the tier list? friend: huh?? me: sorry, I don't hang with f-tiers.
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Dec 21, 2014 21:02
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me: [pets cat] cat: meow. me: lol. five.
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Dec 21, 2014 21:04
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me: *showing a powerpoint* and as you can see by the following slide, these are the estimated cash flows for the next quarter if we take this project *goes to next slide* boss: oh god, what is that man doing to his rear end in a top hat?
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Dec 21, 2014 21:09
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me, to an annoying kid trying to hang out with me and my friends: "you're terrible. just stop and go away. seriously dude, you loving suck" annoying kid: "I'm not doing anything wrong, leave me alone" me: "noone here likes you man. we all think youre terrible. just stop." annoying kid: "heres something reprehensible ive done, can i stick around now?" me: "gently caress off weirdo"
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Dec 21, 2014 21:15
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me, at a conference in my field, about to present on my research: You all loving suck. You're all acutely aware of that already but check it out: you're all personality-free losers who couldn't generate original research or even pubilsh a single decent paper to save your pathetic lives. The Electrochemical Society owns, but this embarrassing org will never be the ECS. Well peace
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Dec 21, 2014 21:26
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Dec 22, 2014 00:15
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friend: don't you agree? me: open bracket. the letter i. sure. close bracket. friend: huh? me: oh sorry. edit open bracket backslash the letter i close bracket. friend: 
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Dec 22, 2014 01:01
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WetNightmare posted:friend: don't you agree? |
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Dec 22, 2014 01:05
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WetNightmare posted:friend: don't you agree? haha |
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Dec 22, 2014 01:35
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WetNightmare posted:friend: don't you agree? thats a forward slash actually. /////
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Dec 22, 2014 01:43
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*sees some people I don't know having a conversation in the lunchroom* *walks up, opens mouth, the sound of television static comes out, they look at me in silence* *returns to desk* |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:19
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Linedance posted:*sees some people I don't know having a conversation in the lunchroom* |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:20
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*puts on false nose, moustache and glasses* "hello it's me jean-baptiste" co-worker: nobody finds that funny james, not even online
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Dec 22, 2014 02:24
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colleague: "ugh did you really just say that?" mario rokoko: "hold on" *fiddles with phone for an uncomfortably long time, then holds it up to display a gif of matio ryuko making a sassy "oh please" face*
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Dec 22, 2014 02:27
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me: this isn't the bus to GBS is it? bus driver: are you high? get off my bus before I call the cops |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:39
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me: okay students, do you know this 'internet forum'? (proudly opens byob) students: sir, wtf is this gay poo poo? ---------------- |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:41
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*gets fired, walks into work the next day claiming to be a new employee*
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Dec 22, 2014 02:43
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oliwan posted:me: okay students, do you know this 'internet forum'? (proudly opens byob) Your a teacher? |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:43
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dogcrash truther posted:Your a teacher? ya, u? ---------------- |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:45
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*calmly removes  from wallet**blows brains out* ---------------- |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:49
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*repeatedly pokes head into classroom and looks at the last person to speak. I open my mouth to say something, stop and shake my head, then leave*
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Dec 22, 2014 02:49
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me at City Hall: hello yes, who do I "talk to" to become IK? |
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Dec 22, 2014 02:53
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Woman: i had a really nice night me: uh yeah haha so did I, really cool. woman: Do you want to have lunch tomorrow? me: hold on hold on. I dont want to take things too fast here before laying down some ground rules for our relationship. FIRst of all...have you ever heard of the term 'Girl Box'? this is vital |
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Dec 22, 2014 03:24
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at parties i just show up and yell a joke into the room and leave for a while, come back every 30 minutes and see if people are still talking about it |
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Dec 22, 2014 03:43
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meteloides posted:me: this isn't the bus to GBS is it? |
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Dec 22, 2014 03:50
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friend: remember when you said- you: *eyes begin to tear with honor* ---------------- |
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Dec 22, 2014 03:55
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Friend: "Dude, what happened to the class photo I had up on the wall?" Me: "Look, I pasted all of our faces onto this crowd scene from the Simpsons" Friend: "What the gently caress, you cut up my only copy of that picture?" Me: "I put Dan's head on Krusty cause he was the funny one" |
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Dec 22, 2014 05:13
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god my parents just brought up really bad ferguson/nyc opinions, I said "actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism" - usually a guaranteed derail, right?! - and they just looked at me weird and kept talking about "those people" how does a guy get a derail around here jeez
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Dec 22, 2014 05:24
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<The Oscars ceremony begins showing the faces of actors lost in the past year with a very solemn yet uplifting melody for accompaniment> Me: Lmfao...it's coming up! It's gonna be here soon! (Person behind me scoffs audibly) <The ceremony begins to come to a close and lands on a long shot of Robin Williams and everyone begins to clap> Me: AHAHAHAHAHA he died aged 63! (Person behind me begins to reach for my shoulder angrily but is intercepted at the wrist by another man) Man 2: It's what he would have wanted. |
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Dec 22, 2014 05:30
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<Otacon is well underway and near one of the bathrooms a rousing LARP is underway> Nerd: Thunderbolt! Thu-- Me: FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 FART gently caress HELL 5 Nerd: Bwuh? Nerd 2: F..fart gently caress hell 5! Other nerds, gradually and with slowly increasing volume: Fart gently caress Hell! Fart gently caress Hell! FART gently caress HELL! Me: The Yikes Emoticon |
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Dec 22, 2014 05:40
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alnilam posted:god my parents just brought up really bad ferguson/nyc opinions, I said "actually it's about ethics in gaming journalism" - usually a guaranteed derail, right?! - and they just looked at me weird and kept talking about "those people" when my nc family get into their awesome opinions i just say "roffle olds" and "paging INRI" |
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Dec 22, 2014 05:47
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alnilam posted:colleague: "ugh did you really just say that?"
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Dec 22, 2014 08:20
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Dude: why are you carrying around that boom box? What's that awful noise? Me: do you like my posting theme? |
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Dec 22, 2014 11:59
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anime gently caress pillow posted:<The Oscars ceremony begins showing the faces of actors lost in the past year with a very solemn yet uplifting melody for accompaniment> |
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Dec 22, 2014 13:34
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Coworker: why do all the new security badges have pictures of deceased comedian Robin Williams instead of the badge holder? |
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Dec 22, 2014 14:53
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WD-40 posted:*passes withdrawal slip to bank teller, silently shaking with laughter* |
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Dec 22, 2014 16:02
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roommate: hey, why did you put all those robin williams posters over all of my artwork? me: robin williams died at age 63 roommate: well take them down me: he just died... show some respect. roommate: whatever, I don't want them me: someone must be harassing you. |
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Dec 22, 2014 16:11
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Siluvayne posted:*gets home, looks around the house* I can't wait for this place to be deleted |
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Dec 22, 2014 16:12
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