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1. Find a single bug in code and make out that it took you all day to fix when it was really a 10 second job 2. Paste interesting news articles to ur boss over IM and watch how his productivity plummets, leaving u unaccountable 3. Having a screen dedicated to vertically moving text so u basically look epic as gently caress 4. Ex-girlfriend discovered my voracious hjentai collection, called me a psychopathic weirdo and dumped me and now i need time to get over it and replace my insanely sick pictuers that she deleted Post more life hacks for bad programmers!
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Dec 23, 2014 23:49
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black man 3 posted:1. Find a single bug in code and make out that it took you all day to fix when it was really a 10 second job sounds like you needed yourself some #wifehacks, friend
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Dec 23, 2014 23:52
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5. Take advantage of cushy working hours to come in at 12pm and claim that "you were at the gym" and as such are alpha as gently caress
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Dec 23, 2014 23:57
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develop a starbucks habit so you can stroll in at 9:10, take your coat off, sit down, say "Anybody wanna go get coffee?" and then spend five minutes putting your coat back on and fifteen walking across the street and back for a $4 hazelnut fudge latte
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Dec 24, 2014 00:11
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switch careers to do something socially valuable instead
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Dec 24, 2014 00:19
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rotor posted:switch careers once you've made plenty of money and do something socially valuable instead
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Dec 24, 2014 00:25
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rotor posted:switch careers to do something socially valuable instead For example: moderating the yospos subforum
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Dec 24, 2014 00:29
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black man 3 posted:For example: moderating the yospos subforum 
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Dec 24, 2014 00:47
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black man 3 posted:For example: moderating the yospos subforum 
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Dec 24, 2014 00:49
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black man 3 posted:For example: moderating the yospos subforum oh, heh, well, I'm hardly a moderator, that seems like way too much commitment
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Dec 24, 2014 00:51
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 black man 3 posted:For example: moderating the yospos subforum
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Dec 24, 2014 00:52
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eh it usually doesn't work out like that
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Dec 24, 2014 00:52
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quit your job and spend the time exercising you fat disgusting piece of subhuman poo poo
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Dec 24, 2014 00:54
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Dec 24, 2014 02:22
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lifehack: use a language with a static type system
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Dec 24, 2014 02:26
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black man 3 posted:For example: moderating the yospos subforum 
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Dec 24, 2014 02:28
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Dec 24, 2014 02:34
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i don't know how to program, op
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Dec 24, 2014 15:35
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MALE SHOEGAZE posted:sounds like you needed yourself some #wifehacks, friend
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Dec 24, 2014 16:08
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The Leck posted:reiserfs? lol
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Dec 24, 2014 16:34
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The Leck posted:reiserfs?
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Dec 24, 2014 18:27
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hackertyper.com is pretty good also I recommend find/replace patches to improve variable names
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Dec 24, 2014 18:31
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black man 3 posted:For example: moderating the yospos subforum FROM DOWNTOWN
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Dec 24, 2014 19:24
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Jonny 290 posted:develop a starbucks habit so you can stroll in at 9:10, take your coat off, sit down, say "Anybody wanna go get coffee?" and then spend five minutes putting your coat back on and fifteen walking across the street and back for a $4 hazelnut fudge latte lol if you're not still in bed at 9:10 more like roll in at 11:15, read your email for 15 minutes and then start organizing a lunch party.
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Dec 24, 2014 19:31
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The Leck posted:reiserfs? 
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Dec 24, 2014 20:03
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black man 3 posted:2. Paste interesting news articles to ur boss over IM and watch how his productivity plummets, leaving u unaccountable lol
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Dec 24, 2014 21:15
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Dec 24, 2014 22:58
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op is it true you're pigeoto
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Dec 24, 2014 23:02
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The Leck posted:reiserfs?
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Dec 25, 2014 00:22
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friendly craig posted:op is it true you're pigeoto that is my understanding
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Dec 25, 2014 00:52
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Dec 25, 2014 01:11
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The Management posted:lol if you're not still in bed at 9:10 Epic thissery
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Dec 25, 2014 04:34
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Jonny 290 posted:develop a starbucks habit so you can stroll in at 9:10, take your coat off, sit down, say "Anybody wanna go get coffee?" and then spend five minutes putting your coat back on and fifteen walking across the street and back for a $4 hazelnut fudge latte i want these people to be struck with croup
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Dec 25, 2014 06:47
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"learn" vba and become a big fish in a small pond.
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Dec 25, 2014 06:48
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i cant program so i wear a trench coat like neo except i wear a power glove too and say the phrase "hacking the mainframe" a lot i make six figures a year and am respected at my job
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Dec 25, 2014 07:44
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if u use c or c++, u don't need to use free/delete. your program will just work fine!
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Dec 25, 2014 07:50
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JewKiller 3000 posted:lifehack: use a language with a static type system yes, this is a good tip for bad programmers
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Dec 25, 2014 08:12
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ShadowHawk posted:hackertyper.com is pretty good
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Dec 25, 2014 10:29
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i heartily recommend ibm tools such as rational application developer for websphere. you can spend all day just looking at your screen because it shat itself again for no reason and you are just waitng for it to un-poo poo itself. this never happens of course but you can wait anyway, everyone understands your pain. then you can spend the next three days rebuilding your environment. ibm tools are the perfect thing for enterprise
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Dec 25, 2014 11:02
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Dr. Honked posted:i heartily recommend ibm tools such as rational application developer for websphere. you can spend all day just looking at your screen because it shat itself again for no reason and you are just waitng for it to un-poo poo itself. this never happens of course but you can wait anyway, everyone understands your pain. then you can spend the next three days rebuilding your environment. ibm tools are the perfect thing for enterprise See also: BMC
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Dec 25, 2014 13:34
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