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Gonna start this holiday topic with the leading example I'd like you guys to comment on, and then maybe you can share your run-ins with sociopaths. I got started thinking about my friends and messaging them today, and there is one I worry about in particular. He is a genius. We went to grad school together and out of all the PhDs and professors in my department, his acumen and clarity of expression were unmatched. He got a job in an absurdly difficult market from a unremarkable program, immediately. This owed partly to his ability in the discipline, but I believe mostly due to his political savvy and strategic mind. I dont think he enjoys manipulating people much but he is very good at. Me and our circle of friends go to him constantly for social, professional and political advice. When we first arrived in the program he built a fan following quickly. He is absurdly good looking and the ladies love him. He is aloof, sort of witty, sort of funny and fairly charming in a reserved sort of way. He very much likes to keep to himself. Despite having an excellent poker face and being very confident, people make him nervous,. This last trait is probably due to a keen perceptiveness. Some of our cherished times were picking apart the silly politically orientated gatherings you have to go to in order to move up in the world of academia. Another contributer to nervousness were the dependents he gathered, people always want something from him. He is a good provider. I believe he may be a sociopath, but not really a full-time enormously morally bankrupt sort and he doesnt display a proclevtity towards it all the time. He demands control and appears agitated when hes not in control of a situation, but he is not aggressive nor does he persue dominence over others. He has a dark sense of humour, sometimes relishes a bit too much in other peoples shame, and likes to gently caress with people a bit. I do too but I'd say we both put limits on that, and at the verr least, he keeps himself from ever being too inappropriate. Grad school was the first time, I believe, that he ever made genuine friends. I am also probably the person he has trusted and confided in the most. Despite this, his past and other aspects of his life I'm sort of unclear on. He is very sensitive to secrecy and gossip. The only times hes gotten livid at me are the times I told other people things I shouldnt have. This last characteristic leads into what worries me. He has cheated on all his girlfriends profusely and multiple times. He is an excellent story teller and will fashion incredible lies to obscure those moments. Even though I know about some of these instances, and he knows I know, when I make reference to them he will without any hesitation go into pretend mode. Either that, or if we are alone, he will get mad at me. Sometimes I feel like he believes his deception. I like to imagine that he is such a skilled rationalizer and story teller that he somehow deceives himself. This is sociopath territory clear as the wind driven snow from my limited understanding. I'm pretty sure he's a sex addict. I know for sure he is a really bad alcoholic. There were some points where he would have two bottles of wine a day. I wonder if this behaviour is emergent from his addictions rather than sociopathy? His behaviour and emotional range changes drastically between drinks. The reason that I think he is not fully fledged is that deep down I feel like he cares about people. He feels shame for the bad things he did and has tried, in his very limited capacity, to open up to me about those moments. He has gone out his way to help people where it's clear that he is not benifiting. This comes from a strong sense of duty and social responsibility. He has undoubtadly helped me become a better person. He has been pretty manipulative to me at times, resulting in a blowout fight recently, but at the same time I've never had a friend that challenged me to better myself like he has. I worry for him because he doesnt really desire/pursue connections with people and I feel like he is going to end up living a very lonely life. He has indicated to me, sometimes desperately, that he needs to change his ways. I feel like he is very stuck in his addiction to alcohol. According to his girlfriend he got very dispondent after our fight, showing that he does care about his relationships to some degree. Do you guys think this is a case of part-time sociopathy? He doesnt really pursue dominence, he demonstrates caring, and isnt totally lacking in self-awareness
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Dec 25, 2014 23:35
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| # ? May 5, 2024 19:03 |
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I could be relatively swapped out for this dude. Merry X-mas to you too =( What I meant was, I have almost all of these traits myself (except for the grad school and being good looking) so you could ask me a few things I guess. Why do you really want to know? DJ Sizzle fucked around with this message at 00:32 on Dec 26, 2014 |
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Dec 26, 2014 00:28
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He sounds like a womanizer with an anxiety disorder. True sociopathy is very rare dude.
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Dec 26, 2014 02:16
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Sounds like every male yuppie ever imo. american culture breeds low level sociopathy. Maybe look for the beam in your own eye as well. Nothing you said in there was remotely shocking, i feel like more than half the people i have met who have gone to top level schools could have fit most of that description.
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Dec 26, 2014 03:23
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Hes probably smoking meth.
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Dec 26, 2014 03:53
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Sociopaths don't feel anxiety, OP. The closest emotion you could say they express is anger, but even then emotional acting out is strategic, not genuine.
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Dec 26, 2014 04:25
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Berke Negri posted:Sociopaths don't feel anxiety, OP. The closest emotion you could say they express is anger, but even then emotional acting out is strategic, not genuine. I thought it was psychopaths who dont feel emotions
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Dec 26, 2014 05:05
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Sounds a bit more like a narcissist than a sociopath. Why do you remain friends with a manipulative liar?
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Dec 26, 2014 05:24
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paperchaseguy posted:Sounds a bit more like a narcissist than a sociopath. People like this tend to give the impression that they're an untapped reservoir of good advice. Their natural talent and amicability carry them through the questionable things they do; "I enjoy your company greatly" segues into "you're worth maintaining as a friend, even though I know you're bad in ways X, Y, and Z." I'd bed good money that a couple other people also think they're this person's closest confidants.
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Dec 26, 2014 06:02
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WYA posted:I thought it was psychopaths who dont feel emotions Sociopaths are just psychopaths with less planning and poor impulse control.
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Dec 26, 2014 06:29
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I'm pretty sure it's a full time job.
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Dec 26, 2014 08:17
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A Typical Goon posted:Sociopaths are just psychopaths with less planning and poor impulse control. Or vice versa. The nomenclature is muddied depending who you ask. The names are practically interchangeable, though the rule of thumb I usually go by is a sociopath is someone who lacks a moral compass and is aware of it while a psychopath is lacking a moral compass and not cognizant of them.
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Dec 26, 2014 09:10
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Overly confident anxious dickhead sounds like everyone I studied with, OP.
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Dec 26, 2014 18:01
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Troutful posted:He sounds like a womanizer with an anxiety disorder. True sociopathy is very rare dude. a posting ghost posted:Sounds like every male yuppie ever imo. american culture breeds low level sociopathy. Maybe look for the beam in your own eye as well. You can stop the thread right about here.
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Dec 26, 2014 18:04
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I have never put this much thought into another man and his motivations ever in my entire life.
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Dec 26, 2014 18:09
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origami posted:I have never put this much thought into another man and his motivations ever in my entire life. Some people have been bitten by the green viper of jealousy.
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Dec 26, 2014 18:17
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goons I have a friend, let's call him Mark (because that's his real name). Now Mark is incredibly good looking, excellent with the ladies, very smart, sociable, and has a good job. He doesn't freak out at the sight of blood, and he is able to make difficult decisions with confidence. He likes to joke around, even if his sense of humor isn't for everyone all the time. Now fellow internet citizens, it's OBVIOUS Mark is suffering from some sort of disease, but I can't put my finger on it.
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Dec 26, 2014 18:24
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He doesn't freeze up at the sight of women and people actually listen to him when he's talking..he must be a sociopath, normal people (like me!) could not possibly be that well adjusted..
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Dec 26, 2014 21:46
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a posting ghost posted:Sounds like every male yuppie ever imo. american culture breeds low level sociopathy. Maybe look for the beam in your own eye as well. https://heartiste.wordpress.com/2013/12/30/sociopathy-is-increasing-in-america/ Aw yeahhh Anyway OP, given that pretty much all "personality disorders" like sociopathy are just exaggerations of traits that non-clinically relevant personalities display, it isn't so weird that your friend might do things in line with what a sociopath might. I was close friends with a girl who was super popular and successful, and she did a lot of things that led me to suspect she might be a sociopath on some level. She seemed incapable of empathising with the suffering of others. She was a moral person for sure, but she she could only comprehend that sort of thing on the most abstract level - she volunteered in a charity shop because it was a "good" thing, she was interested in working for abstract greater good purposes. But give her a person in tears or a personal moral situation and she would just cut them down or ignore them. It never affected me directly but she alienated a few of her friends that way. Was she a sociopath? Maybe. Does it matter? Not really.
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Dec 26, 2014 23:10
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Nucken Futz posted:I'm pretty sure it's a full time job. Yeah I wish I could get part time. And telecommuting? Don't even get me started.
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Dec 26, 2014 23:40
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I've been called something similar myself, although I wouldn't believe it. Well, besides the good looking part. More than likely, your friend was burned pretty hard in the past, hardened up, and thinks well before he acts. Perhaps he studied people since then, and has been learning ever since. Maintaining a emotional barrier can leave you even questioning your own past, and where you even began. Anyway, just throwing that out there.
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Dec 27, 2014 02:33
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Wow OP, you sure wrote a lot of boring words about a dude who sounds like a total(ly normal, typical academic yuppie) jackass. Either be friends with him or don't, who cares. Also if you don't do sociopathy full time you won't get all the benefits. You guys are young but it's never too early to start planning for retirement.
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Dec 27, 2014 03:43
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Sounds like a cool dude and your just jealous or possibly in love with him
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Dec 29, 2014 09:55
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Also take notes OP..those are the type of guys who turn out to be wicked successful and you end up wishing you could get a job from after its too late.
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Dec 29, 2014 10:15
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I dont know wtf this site is but these ppl are all crazy
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Dec 29, 2014 11:33
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I just go through life calling people I dislike sociopaths its been working out for me so far.
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Dec 30, 2014 09:19
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Arnold of Soissons posted:I dont know wtf this site is but these ppl are all crazy It's a pua site full with political rants about the dangers of the welfare state and immigration.
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Dec 30, 2014 11:36
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As far as I understand it, socio/psychopathology is more like a spectrum. That being said, yes you can have individuals that would fall really ireally high on the spectrum, enough to be diagnosed as such by a professional. There is a great book out which I forget the name of, which goes into detail about the actual genetic disposition of these individuals. How some people severely lack emotion/love/empathy, yet they can function seemingly normal lives (without manipulation or behaving against societal constructions and moral reasoning). The term I believe is "high functioning sociopaths". From what I understand, trauma is usually the cause of how "bad" someone with a severe psychopathology would act. Serial killers are almost always psychopaths who experienced severe childhood trauma and usually some kind of abandonment. It's like the perfect recipe for disaster. You have to have the confluence of neural disposition and environmental factors occurring. As far as your friend, I don't know. It's possible this poor bastard has always just been able to get women based on his looks alone, and never really formed any lasting emotional bonds. His charming and immediate personality is only skin deep, and he has major abandonment issues from childhood or early relationships that give him strong insecurities. I mean two bottles of wine a day screams issues and some variable form of depression. Who knows. But like others in this thread have said, this can be sadly typical. The only way to tell if someone is just about full blown socio/psychopathic is to observe them in a situation who they have the opportunity to help someone who does NOTHING for them, ie. giving to a homeless person, compassion for an animal, etc.. Anyway I'm not a psychologist so do your own research.
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Dec 30, 2014 21:32
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the thing to remember is that most goons have no loving clue what sociopathy is as defined by the DSM and think that it means that people do stupid poo poo. your probably better off having someone whos actually a Psychologist or similar comment, because they have to go through rigorous classes to diagnose this poo poo for a reason.
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Dec 30, 2014 23:34
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Buy a turtle and set it outside his apartment, upside-down
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Dec 31, 2014 02:29
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Agean90 posted:the thing to remember is that most goons have no loving clue what sociopathy is as defined by the DSM and think that it means that people do stupid poo poo. Seconding that sociopathy isn't the magic ability to bend everything that moves around your finger while having no knowledge of hu - man morality that media seems to think it is.
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Dec 31, 2014 15:05
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I don't see what is wrong with being a sociopath or narcissistic as long as you aren't making soup out of people. Sound like decent traits. My opinion though, could be skewed. This post may or may not be sarcasm.
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Jan 1, 2015 02:22
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RonMexicosPitbull posted:I just go through life calling people I dislike sociopaths its been working out for me so far. A solid rule of thumb.
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Jan 1, 2015 08:05
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text editor posted:Buy a turtle and set it outside his apartment, upside-down You're a horrible monster.
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Jan 1, 2015 09:43
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AdorableStar posted:THE KHELDRAGAR-CALLNOW LOVEDUMP. CLICK HERE TO READ Wow it's been a year already
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Jan 1, 2015 13:12
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This belongs in E/N.
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Jan 1, 2015 20:08
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Agean90 posted:the thing to remember is that most goons have no loving clue what sociopathy is as defined by the DSM and think that it means that people do stupid poo poo.
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Jan 4, 2015 04:25
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GWBBQ posted:Why the gently caress would you go to someone with extensive education and training when you can just go down the checklist on the Wikipedia page for any mental illness and diagnose the vast majority of people you've ever met with most of them? I'll have you know I took AP Psych so I'm pretty qualified.
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Jan 4, 2015 04:28
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GWBBQ posted:Why the gently caress would you go to someone with extensive education and training when you can just go down the checklist on the Wikipedia page for any mental illness and diagnose the vast majority of people you've ever met with most of them? I've done the same thing with webMD its how i found out i've been catching hantavirus every year!!!
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Jan 4, 2015 23:03
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| # ? May 5, 2024 19:03 |
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True sociopaths aren't really capable of any emotion, because they lack the capacity to actually feel it. If he's shown anger/fear/nervousness/happiness it's doubtful he is one. It sounds like your friend is just an immature douche.
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Jan 4, 2015 23:39
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