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Synathaesia

it's been a hard day's night
and I'd been workin' like a dog

Are you saying you don't like the wrx??

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GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

Synathaesia posted:

Are you saying you don't like the wrx??

i'm saying its pretty overrated and really expensive for what it is

get 1 of these if you want a cool & good subaru:

its a justy 4x4

Synathaesia

it's been a hard day's night
and I'd been workin' like a dog

Can I affix a sick wing?

demonR6

There are too many stupid people in the world. I'm not saying we should kill them all or anything. Just take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself.

Synathaesia posted:

Can I affix a sick wing?



Dear Dr. Fixit,

I have an old Chevy Blazer and replaced the battery back in June. Cranked it up for the first time in a week or three and it won't start. Put the battery on a charger and after about an hour the charger has a neat message that says 'Bad Battery'. We don't drive it much because it gets lovely gas mileage so it sits in the garage driven on occasion or emergency. Bad luck on the battery or something else afoot killing it (not gremlins you fuckers).

demonR6 fucked around with this message at 18:10 on Jan 2, 2015

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

Synathaesia posted:

Can I affix a sick wing?

of course


demonR6 posted:

Dear Dr. Fixit,

I have an old Chevy Blazer and replaced the battery back in June. Cranked it up for the first time in a week or three and it won't start. Put the battery on a charger and after about an hour the charger has a neat message that says 'Bad Battery'. We don't drive it much because it gets lovely gas mileage so it sits in the garage driven on occasion or emergency. Bad luck on the battery or something else afoot killing it (not gremlins you fuckers).

batteries will deteriorate over time, especially if they stay drained for a long time, so inside the battery a layer of the metallic dust broken off of the anode builds up until it bridges the gaps... it's hosed, get a new battery & when you're not using the car make sure to start it up and let it idle for a few mins to charge the battery off the alternator every now & then so it doesnt go dead

Diqnol

Hello, I have heard that you are a car wizard. My car is at the bottom of a nearby lake and is filled with the corpse of the last motherfucker who claimed to be a car wizard. It won't start. What do I do?

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN


I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.


Ok, so instead of fixing the door handle, my wife just wants a whole new car. what do you think of the mazda 3?

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:

Ok, so instead of fixing the door handle, my wife just wants a whole new car. what do you think of the mazda 3?

rust, more rust than you thought was possible on a car so new.

it's better to keep the old one going and save your money imo

Diqnol

My car drives fine, but everyone who isn't me that gets in it has some sort of horrible calamity like their house catches on fire or they instantly become a selfish bitch. I'm not even close to understanding where to start with this whopper.

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

True and Real posted:

Hello, I have heard that you are a car wizard. My car is at the bottom of a nearby lake and is filled with the corpse of the last motherfucker who claimed to be a car wizard. It won't start. What do I do?

have you tried wiggling the key in the ignition?

i am he

ban cars

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

i am he posted:

ban cars

he's right, they are terrible & should be banned imo

demonR6

There are too many stupid people in the world. I'm not saying we should kill them all or anything. Just take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself.

All in favor of hovercraft say 'Aye'.

FluffieDuckie

alnilam posted:

:ohdear: any advice? here's a pic of my car and my housemate if it helsps



working out a diagram by which i might fit the kids onto the back of this. i might have found my next car. thanks al


Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

cat_herder

BE GAY
DO CRIME


GoodbyeTurtles posted:

the turn signal switch wouldnt cause starting issues unless they disconnected the battery for some reason and didn't put the terminals on correctly after the job. So that's probably just co-incidental.

what kind of noise does it make when you try to start it? is it a clicking sound and nothing happens at all, or is it that the engine turns a little with the starter going but sounds slow/weak as piss before stopping?

could be camshaft or crank position sensor, but the noise would give me a better idea

the starter sounds kind of weak, not as strong as usual. for a while it sounded like normal and the engine just wouldn't catch, but now it sounds weaker and kind of gravelly. I think I damaged it :(

I'll check the terminals when I get home.

alnilam

FluffieDuckie posted:

working out a diagram by which i might fit the kids onto the back of this. i might have found my next car. thanks al

best of luck, the kids love it!



ty manifisto

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

meteloides posted:

the starter sounds kind of weak, not as strong as usual. for a while it sounded like normal and the engine just wouldn't catch, but now it sounds weaker and kind of gravelly. I think I damaged it :(

I'll check the terminals when I get home.

Could just be that the battery is drained, maybe try jump starting it?

It could even be that the alternator isn't charging the battery at all.

Gounads

Where am I?
How did I get here?
My windows only go up all the way if I jiggle the switch.

deep dish peat moss

Hi GoodbyeTurtles,

I'm uhh, a new reader to the thread. Great stuff!

Anyway my problem is I don't have a car, and I can't drive one because I'm blind?

Any help will be much appreciated.

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

Gounads posted:

My windows only go up all the way if I jiggle the switch.

the contacts on the switch could be rusty or the switch itself could be hosed, not an expensive part to replace though. def get a second hand part


Funnypost Collabo posted:

Hi GoodbyeTurtles,

I'm uhh, a new reader to the thread. Great stuff!

Anyway my problem is I don't have a car, and I can't drive one because I'm blind?

Any help will be much appreciated.


Hi Funnypost_Collabo,

first you'll need to modify your body with a cyber eye, these can be picked up all over the place but i'd recommend a second hand one (they take a while to wear in)
then steal a car and yiou're all set

nvm no cake

when i drive my car sparks shoot out behind it for like 40 or 50 feet plz help

nvm no cake

also when i turn on my AC it smells like a fart, why is this happening to me

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

The Green Calx posted:

when i drive my car sparks shoot out behind it for like 40 or 50 feet plz help

it's either meant to do that, it's too low or somethign is hanging off

are your Truck NutZ secured properly?


The Green Calx posted:

also when i turn on my AC it smells like a fart, why is this happening to me

thats probably poisonous gasses leaking from the system so..

Synathaesia

it's been a hard day's night
and I'd been workin' like a dog

sometimes in the morning my shocks make really ominous creaking noises as I hit small bumps, but then they don't do it for very long, are they just getting warmed up and limber for the loving they're about to get from the roads?

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

Synathaesia posted:

sometimes in the morning my shocks make really ominous creaking noises as I hit small bumps, but then they don't do it for very long, are they just getting warmed up and limber for the loving they're about to get from the roads?

it could be the shocks squeaking or other rubber suspension mounts wearing, check the shocks on a dry day & see if there is any dampness around them, if there is, they could be on their way out, but they are more likely just getting warmed up & creaking due to heat expansion.

demonR6

There are too many stupid people in the world. I'm not saying we should kill them all or anything. Just take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself.

Dear car lord, I have an emergency. A bird pooped on my freshly detailed car. Do I need to clean the entire car again or can I get away with just that one spot?

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

demonR6 posted:

Dear car lord, I have an emergency. A bird pooped on my freshly detailed car. Do I need to clean the entire car again or can I get away with just that one spot?

sand it all down and start from scratch, i'm sorry

emmie

there's fluffy white stuff all over my car. but on the inside the fluffy stuff is darker and i can't see where i'm going. how do i see please help


demonR6

There are too many stupid people in the world. I'm not saying we should kill them all or anything. Just take the warning labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself.

GoodbyeTurtles posted:

sand it all down and start from scratch, i'm sorry

Oh goddammit I was afraid of that. I hate calling Fat Vito, this will be the third insurance job this year.

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former. - Einstein

GoodbyeTurtles

:suezo:

emmie posted:

there's fluffy white stuff all over my car. but on the inside the fluffy stuff is darker and i can't see where i'm going. how do i see please help

cars are known to grow white hair over the winter time in order to keep warm, this is TOTALLY NORMAL, just drive as normal and without being able to see your other senses will naturally heighten

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Pinche Rudo

Someone spray painted a giant dick and crazy racist language all over my car

Check out the podcast - https://rudospodcast.co

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