helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Pet Island > helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Jerry, Please please stop pooping so much, I know you are huge but you poo more than a dog twice your size would and unlike a dog you do it in a litterbox where I have to scrape it up.

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 04:40

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 2, 2024 00:33

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Tasty_Crayon posted:

LOLA, I let you scream your own name into my ear, the least you can do is let me pet you, you loving jellybean

That bird is the very essence of smugderp.

# ¿ Sep 12, 2015 19:49

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Hitlers Gay Secret posted:

Dear porchcat,

I'm glad you decided to pick our front porch as your home away from home, but could you please stop meowing at the front door every morning? You aren't coming in.

You should let him in.

# ¿ Sep 14, 2015 23:27

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

grack posted:

Another headless rat by the garbage cans this morning. I've not seen you in over a week, Porchcat II, but it's good to know you're still around. Thanks for leaving it in the morning so it can go right in the organics recycling for pickup.

Also the rats in my neighborhood are getting uncomfortably large.

Porchcat II is selectively breeding them so she has a steady supply of meat.

# ¿ Oct 24, 2015 05:45

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

EXTREME INSERTION posted:

A few weeks ago. Pax was confused

You live in maryland?

# ¿ Nov 9, 2015 00:17

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

EXTREME INSERTION posted:

How did you get past the furniture barricade pax

I wish I could meet your amazingly skilled turtle in real life now.

# ¿ Nov 16, 2015 18:35

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

bunnyofdoom posted:

Dammit Harriet, you are not a cat. Let me do my frickin' homework!

I dunno, I checked that image on the isitacat.com checker and it came back 95% cat.

# ¿ Nov 19, 2015 03:29

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

cyberia posted:

I woke up this morning to find that I have been gifted with my very own porchcat!

Porchcat III, you are very fluffy and have an impressively loud meow but my house is not your house and I don't know what has happened to you to make you think that I should let you in. I've never seen you in my neighbourhood before so I hope you find your way home soon otherwise we will have to go on a trip to the local porchcat shelter.

That will not be a long trip.

(the inside of your house is the porchcat shelter.)

# ¿ Nov 20, 2015 03:02

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Maully Millions posted:

This cat spends time in our murder-cellar. Today he watched us make breakfast and silently judged us. I envy you all your Porchcats.

You do have a murder celler, and thus probably SHOULD be judged.

# ¿ Dec 5, 2015 06:38

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Jerry please get off the fence you fat rear end in a top hat, it is 7 feet high and i'm afraid of you falling into some neighbors yard and being unable to escape.

# ¿ Jan 10, 2016 10:09

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

The Lord of Hats posted:

Dear Tuna,

WHY?

Cat is functioning normally, no need to helldump.

# ¿ Jul 2, 2016 06:27

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

My 16 year old cat decided to be a shitlord on friday.

He currently lives with my mother in her retirement on a farmhouse on the eastern shore.And he up and vanishes. 16 years old, hyperthyroid and riddled with arthritis so he can barely move and just gone. My mother is in tears, I drive all the way over to help her search as does my brother from his place. No luck, we knock on doors and all that jazz to get the FEW neighbors to know. (like 1 mile distant either side.)

Basically giving up hope, and then wham, he walks on her porch monday morning like he don't give a poo poo.

Mir, Why did you go and do thaaaaaaat.

# ¿ Aug 31, 2016 01:32

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Piper, I know your name is Piper, but stop with the borking any time I am outside and you are outside but want to go in, I am busy with stuff and will let you in when I am done, its summer even! lay in the grass

# ¿ Aug 6, 2023 12:26

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

River, if you would like your butt properly like either one of your brothers, or even did it halfway decently like your extremely fluffy mother, this would not have happened to you.

# ¿ Aug 17, 2023 00:11

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Boxman posted:

Lady, you finding the ONE bit of mud in the neighborhood deciding you wanted to take it home with you isn't surprising. But then, when I accidentally turn on the shower rather than the dog wash hose, could you have the decency to at least try to keep it together?

Oh, you can't. So you freak out and I try to stop you from getting out of the tub dripping wet, so I get soaked, then you jump out anyway and shake, now everything is wet.

Excellent. Good dog.

Get a walk in shower, I shove my dog in, then close the door on their rear end and they now glumly accept their fate with a minor amount of whining.

# ¿ Sep 17, 2023 15:40

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Piper pleases stop waking me up every 90 minutes, you do not pee THAT often, you want to go chase whatever it is you and the other potatos have discovered out back. You are 13 years old, you don't normally even run anymore. You cannot get to it, there is a fence.

# ¿ Oct 29, 2023 13:39

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Skylar, I understand that you are

1. A Void
2. Sometimes Loud
3. Enjoy Chicken

But clawing my leg at 5 am while I try to go out the door because you know there is chicken in the fridge and you want it is not acceptable.

# ¿ Apr 5, 2024 18:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 2, 2024 00:33

AtomikKrab: Jul 17, 2010; Keep on GOP rolling rolling rolling rolling.

Freya, you are a dumb dumb sometimes

You decided to fly up the stairs like a missile and ended up smacking your paw there. I saw you stop for about 5 minutes at the top of the stairs outside just whining holding your paw. No I am not giving you the attention, you didn't break it because you started walking on it fine after I ignored you.

# ¿ Apr 9, 2024 13:27

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Pet Island > helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]