helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Pet Island > helldump your pets [petshaming ITT]

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Murderdog,

at least viciously savage me with your mighty jaws if you are going to try to kill me, dont trip me down the stairs you rear end in a top hat.

# ¿ Apr 14, 2016 13:45

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# ¿ May 21, 2024 17:14

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Nasgate posted:

He looks completely unapologetic and even slightly disappointed in his own failure.

she does that fart and then act completely shocked and scared thing as well.

FARTS? in MY rear end?

# ¿ Apr 18, 2016 13:28

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

grack posted:

Guys, horrible news, Porchcat II died last week. I learned this talking to my neighbour today, because apparently Porchcat II was leaving dead animals for a number of people in my neighbourhood.

Porchcat II. You were the most socially responsible cat.

well poo poo.

# ¿ Apr 21, 2016 00:24

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

GoatShaver posted:

You're cool, Stanley. I'm glad we picked you up from the humane society, you big lovable black lab mix.

Except when you destroy every set of blinds in the house, the trim by the front door, and now put a hole in the drywall as well as punched through the screen. You anxious gently caress.

pictures of the shame-ee is always helpful so we can visualize the hate.

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 13:06

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Puppy Galaxy posted:

I hate to say this, but all the porch cats died because no one let them in.

we do highly encourage all porchcats to come in.

always let the cat in

even when the cat is a dog

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 16:46

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

flakeloaf posted:

We had a visit from porchdog once, so I brought her home and let her in. Then I put a string on her and took her outside, and she really wanted to go back to the park for some reason, so we went to the park, turned the corner a bit and found her owner who had quite the story to tell about a hole in the construction fence behind his place.

That was less "rescuing her" and more "stealing her and then taking her for a walk".

# ¿ Apr 29, 2016 17:24

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

hogmartin posted:

Nice, just hang out in a sunbeam and give each other kitty kisses.

You guys wouldn't have lasted ten minutes in 'Nam.

this is a bullshit helldump.

DOES ANYONE RESPECT THE loving LAW AROUND HERE?

# ¿ May 21, 2016 17:47

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

kazmeyer posted:

So twice in the past month now my mom's elderly Maltese has attempted suicide by meatball.

My mom's one of those irritating people who hand feeds her pets whatever she's eating. So of course the dogs learn to steal food off plates. Both incidents involved meatball dishes, and both times the idiot wolfed the thing down without chewing in an attempt to prevent the other dog from taking it away from him. 10-ish pound dog + whole meatball = dog Heimlich. The first time, we even had to snatch the damned thing away so he wouldn't try to swallow it again.

He's not a bright dog.

if there is either garlic or onion in your meatballs (Which there should be or those are some sad rear end meatballs.) Its not so good for doggies, so technically you are helldumping your mom for attempted dog murder.

# ¿ Jul 3, 2016 12:29

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Good job on bringing up one of the few things that derails the gently caress out of most catte threads. :rolleyes:

# ¿ Jul 11, 2016 17:37

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Im gonna tell on ALL OF YOU.

_{actually no, but just sayin....}

# ¿ Jul 11, 2016 17:44

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Thin Privilege posted:

It's 4am and I swear it's been an hour of AROOOOOOOOO AAROOOOOOOOOOOOO AAROOOOOOO outside my door. Ignoring had always worked but nope tonight he decided not to stop so I had to break out the spray bottle. but he still AROOOOOOd I think he's trying to say his name cause the intonation is the same as his name but oh my god. You get fed at 6 not at 4 what the gently caress you cat

E: oh of course once I break out the camera to take a pic you stop mewing. But through my hard work mewing back at him I finally got 1/2 a devil cat

so you meowed back at it at 4? what you never want to sleep again? you didnt feed the little heathen did you?

# ¿ Aug 19, 2016 12:14

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Thin Privilege posted:

I had already been in the living room for 30 min until I started mewing myself to get him to take the pic. I fed them at 5:45. Now all has been quiet and little devil is asleep in a basket

Now is time to wake the cat up with meowing then.

# ¿ Aug 19, 2016 16:15

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Thin Privilege posted:

Put my mouth on his asleep neck and meowed, he was happy to see me. Cats.

well at least you tried :shrug:

# ¿ Aug 19, 2016 16:20

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Thin Privilege posted:

Now because I actually got out of the room at 4 am he's been mewing at me for food all day, despite having been fed. Lesson to all: ignore your cats mrewing outside your bedroom door, no matter the cost

# ¿ Aug 19, 2016 18:59

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

you weird hip trendy kids and your weird hip trendy head holes

# ¿ Aug 19, 2016 20:20

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

you need to improve your cat game, do things gangsta style. Catte wakes you up yowling at 4am get an air horn for next catnap time then the cat will most likely produce a shiv or something, have a spray bottle on hand for that and suplex the cat (onto something soft as to avoid injury) firearms may be required if there is any further retaliation but after a lot of good training your cat may not howl at night.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2016 00:01

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

grack posted:

Put vacuum cleaner outside your door, run the cord up to a power bar on your nightstand. Cat wakes you up at 4am, turn on the vacuum for a few seconds. Problem solved.

that is some pro tier catting right there.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2016 01:05

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

grack posted:

You have 8 goddamned cats? How are you not posting in this thread every other hour?

just need 1 more for the crazy cat lady label :haw:

# ¿ Aug 22, 2016 18:29

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

MrYenko posted:

No. No they do not. The label applies for any number of cats greater than two.

... wait.

I'm a crazy cat lady?

i suppose this makes sense.

# ¿ Aug 22, 2016 23:54

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

I thought it was nine for some reason. :smithfrog:

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 12:14

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Iron Crowned posted:

9 for women, 1 for men

I have more dogs than cats am i still defined by the greater than one cat? I need the appropriate title for my :krad:

tshirt

# ¿ Aug 24, 2016 12:48

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Peztopiary posted:

as soon as the cats outnumber the people by 2:1 you're a crazy cat person. Porchcat, I love you, you're fluffy and sweet. You're also someone else's, I know your owner. You can't come live with us just because your owner lets you outside in the daytime.

# ¿ Aug 29, 2016 20:39

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

its 4am kitten. My ear is not a chew toy.

# ¿ Sep 2, 2016 10:17

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

zimboe posted:

Well Thanks, Rug! You idiot cat!

Thanks for the three half-eaten disemboweled gopher corpses you lined up in a neat row outside my bedroom door!
Nothing is more refreshing than stepping on an ice-cold gopher liver in my bare feet in the morning!

Word.

E:
Almost forgot, thanks for hiding in the shadows under my car, ambushing those slow fat quail, and then deciding my bed is the perfect place to rip out about a half a cubic foot of quail feathers and leave a stripped skeleton behind. Lovely.

Notes:
I lived up in the National Forest above Kagel Canyon in Ellay, and there were vast flocks of fat, well-fed quail. It was a bumper year for them. Lotsa grasshoppers.
If you startled them, the flock would take off en-mass with the deep roar of a thousand beating wings.
...
I like to let cats name themselves.
Rug got his name because he was always under my feet. He'd try to trip me just to get attention.

He got bit by a rattler in 1978 and died, the poor dumbass.
RIP, Rug. I miss you. Hope you got to Cat Heaven.

Or maybe Quail Hell, who knows.

Did you just helldump your almost 40 years expired cat?

# ¿ Sep 10, 2016 12:40

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

pizzadog posted:

Guess which dog ate a bag of flour today?

the non murder-y one?

# ¿ Sep 14, 2016 18:05

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

ElectricSheep posted:

My rear end in a top hat dog has probably cost me nearly $10k in 3 and a half months of ownership between a surgery, food allergies, and a bad reaction to medication, so have a picture of him mid-sneeze.

try to be dignified NOW, dickhead

best helldump picture in a while thanks :haw:

# ¿ Sep 28, 2016 12:27

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

KITTEN THE FLOOR IS NOT LAVA QUIT JUMPING ON DOG HEADS

# ¿ Dec 17, 2016 13:38

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

black.lion posted:

this motherfucker has tried to kill himself six times today; he's only seven weeks old, how depressed can he really be? my cat wants to eat him and i may let her.

puppies are pretty much determined to kill themselves for like the first year, stay strong cute puppergoon

# ¿ Jan 3, 2017 21:24

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

bunnyofdoom posted:

Harriet, please stop freaking out my roomate by lurking and then jumping out when they pass by.

bunny, you should be joining in. dafuq

# ¿ Mar 12, 2017 12:08

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

bunnyofdoom posted:

I am pretty sure I don't want my rear end kicked.

Adventure!

# ¿ Mar 12, 2017 23:41

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Maybe you are just army-jelly?

# ¿ Apr 25, 2017 12:47

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Markoff Chaney posted:

I'll shame neighbor dog. Bella barks like, 50% of the time, but I put up with that because I'm tight with that neighbor and she helps me with trash and brings me pot roast she makes since my feet don't work so good no more. The biggest helldump on her dog is neighbor showed up one night asking if I had an old credit card to get her door open since both phone and keys were inside. I blinked a sec, and tried to help her but was 100% sure the deadbolt was thrown which a card pick cannot fix...but the keys were inside - insane dog had jumped up and thrown the lock, locksmith had to drill it.

I waited outside with her since she's chill, total bill 279 dollars due to dog

one of my dogs does this.

constantly.

to the point to where i have a hide a key on my car because of it.

little poo poo.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2017 23:23

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

Freakbox posted:

We have nnnnooooo idea what he is. The very helpful shelter paperwork says "looks like pointer mix".

We were open to pibbles though ((I needed a house buddy and an exercise buddy)), so I won't and don't mind if he is!

congrats on your new murderdog

# ¿ Aug 20, 2017 13:55

TehRedWheelbarrow: Mar 16, 2011; Fan of Britches

dogs.

you fuckers are killing me.

Doyle, dont not say something if you get hurt you dipshit. things get infected and it gets worse you fuckstick

Lady, how the gently caress you manage to break a drat tooth?

goddammnit

# ¿ Oct 31, 2017 22:33