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(Posting on behalf of a friend) Hello Stubs. You are a very cute and affectionate doberman, and we let you get away with a lot. We even don't mind you sitting on people because it's kind of funny. That said, we have to draw a line somewhere and this is it: Please stop trying to follow people in to the bathroom. They do not need your supervision or require your help to use the toilet. Frankly it's creepy as gently caress to try and go with a dog staring at you from three feet away. Waiting outside the locked door and whining and scratching to be let in is right out as well. And for the love of all things holy STOP DOING IT TO HOUSEGUESTS.
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Sep 1, 2015 07:54
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I seemed to have gained my own Porchcat. I shall call her Porchcat II Hello Porchcat II. I petted you once because you are a very sweet kitty and that turned out to be a mistake because you are a stalker. Please stop leaving dead birds and headless rats by the garbage cans for me, I am fully capable of feeding myself. You sure as poo poo don't need to show up first thing Wednesday morning while I am taking out the garbage and present me with a dead bird like you did last week. I'm not going to eat them. I will thank you, however, for the excellent job you did clearing the wild rabbits out of the neighborhood over the summer. My vegetable garden actually looked respectable this year.
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Oct 14, 2015 05:33
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Come home from work today, put the garbage away and there is another dead bird waiting for me. Thank you Porchcat II At least I'll never starve.
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Oct 15, 2015 05:29
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Another headless rat by the garbage cans this morning. I've not seen you in over a week, Porchcat II, but it's good to know you're still around. Thanks for leaving it in the morning so it can go right in the organics recycling for pickup. Also the rats in my neighborhood are getting uncomfortably large. grack fucked around with this message at 07:22 on Oct 22, 2015 |
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Oct 21, 2015 20:47
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Thank you for your kindly gift of a dead bird, Porchcat II. I'm still not eating it.
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Nov 4, 2015 18:49
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Found another mostly headless rat by the garbage cans this morning, regular as clockwork. You are a feeder, Porchcat II. I do not need to be fattened up to make it through the long winter months, I promise.
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Nov 11, 2015 23:23
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Porchcat II, it's good to know you're dependable. Now please stop leaving dead animals for me every Wednesday morning. Maybe you think I'm eating them but I assure you they're going right in to the organics recycling.
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Nov 18, 2015 18:44
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Porchcat II best Porchcat. Porchcat II makes a positive contribution to society (by killing and attempting to feed me rats) 
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Nov 21, 2015 01:38
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Ooh, a dead squirrel today. What's the occasion Porchcat II?
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Dec 4, 2015 00:35
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Porchcat II actually stopped by a few days ago: She declined my invitation to come in and just settled for an ear scratch before wandering off. I guess she had mouths to feed.
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Dec 4, 2015 18:56
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Thank you for the lovely gift of a headless rat this morning Porchcat II. I fear to ask but I must: What are you doing with the heads? Are you eating them? Are you doing feline taxidermy? Do you have some little trophy case full of rat skulls a la Predator somewhere? Or is it some sort of implicit threat that I'm just not getting?
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Dec 10, 2015 21:23
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FactsAreUseless posted:Where the gently caress do you people live with these armies of communally-owned neighborhood cats. I live in suburbia. There are a few neighborhood cats wandering around.
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Dec 13, 2015 04:15
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I'm sorry but that's funny as hell.
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Dec 19, 2015 05:16
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No dead animals from Porchcat II over the last couple of weeks but she did wander by over the weekend and let my 2 year old niece chase her around the yard for a while without actually running away. I think this cat has adopted us.
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Dec 29, 2015 02:15
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Nermal was male
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Feb 5, 2016 05:22
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FactsAreUseless posted:Nah, man. Nah. Hey. Listen. Don't put your hangups on that cat. Don't project your own issues and assumptions onto that cat. Okay? Alright? Let the cat be who she is. Let Nermal be Nermal. Don't do this, man. Uh, wouldn't it be everyone else projecting if they're assuming Nermal is female, just because he's super cute and has long, wonderful eyelashes? (Nermal is a male) A cat I think is female is Porchcat II, who's apparently done with her winter break because I found a dead loving rabbit by my garbage cans this morning.
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Feb 6, 2016 03:26
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It was named for a cat who showed up on someone's porch. How in the hell are you getting "racial slur" out of that?
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Feb 6, 2016 18:16
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Porchcat II, I petted you for a grand total of like, one minute yesterday. I did that because you are a very sweet kitty. That does not mean I wanted you to leave a wild rabbit with it's throat torn out behind my garbage cans this morning.
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Feb 18, 2016 07:41
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Another Wednesday, another dead rat behind the garbage cans. This one had it's tail chewed off instead of it's head. I guess that's what Porchcat II considers "variety"
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Feb 24, 2016 18:42
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Dear Porchcat II Please stop killing and bringing me wild rabbits. You're making the neighbour's children cry.
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Apr 3, 2016 01:39
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Angrymog posted:Is mixamotosis a thing in the states? That makes rabbits stupid. Do its eyes look okay? Rabbits don't need help being stupid
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Apr 11, 2016 22:29
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SneakyFrog posted:Murderdog, She just wants to cuddle your feet at terribly inopportune times.
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Apr 18, 2016 03:19
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Guys, horrible news, Porchcat II died last week. I learned this talking to my neighbour today, because apparently Porchcat II was leaving dead animals for a number of people in my neighbourhood. Porchcat II. You were the most socially responsible cat.
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Apr 20, 2016 23:34
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Vincent Van Goat posted:Poor guy One of my neighbours found her really sick and took her to a vet, and she died there. The vet's best guess was that she ate a rat that had been poisoned.
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Apr 21, 2016 04:48
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I hope it was painless at least.
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Puppy Galaxy posted:I hate to say this, but all the porch cats died because no one let them in. I offered. Porchcat II was much more interested in keeping the neighborhood rat population under control. Also the bird population, and at times, the wild rabbit population.
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Apr 30, 2016 06:50
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JohnnyCanuck posted:Suki, I admire the lifestyle.
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Jun 17, 2016 20:25
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No no, your four-legged killhound clearly needs a tuneup.
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Jun 23, 2016 06:45
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Found another headless rat behind my garbage cans this morning I think I have a copyPorchcat Seriously why do my neighborhood cats keep trying to feed me, I'm not starving.
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Jul 6, 2016 23:35
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Thin Privilege posted:Now because I actually got out of the room at 4 am he's been mewing at me for food all day, despite having been fed. Lesson to all: ignore your cats mrewing outside your bedroom door, no matter the cost Put vacuum cleaner outside your door, run the cord up to a power bar on your nightstand. Cat wakes you up at 4am, turn on the vacuum for a few seconds. Problem solved.
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Aug 20, 2016 01:04
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Thin Privilege posted:This is a great idea but I'm paranoid cause some of my cats like to chew cables... Jerkface was silent last night because I actually ignored him so I assume this will be continued. But now he's just sitting behind me STARING. You know, that cat sit-+wide-eyed-stare-into-your-soul type of stare. It is so creepy. You have 8 goddamned cats? How are you not posting in this thread every other hour?
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Aug 22, 2016 18:26
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pizzadog posted:
Super energetic and excited with a white smear on it's nose? Your dog got in to your stash, not the flour.
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Sep 16, 2016 05:48
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ElectricSheep posted:My rear end in a top hat dog has probably cost me nearly $10k in 3 and a half months of ownership between a surgery, food allergies, and a bad reaction to medication, so have a picture of him mid-sneeze. Well, gonna need some booze to scrub that mental image away. How much of that 10k was for souls of the damned to feed your hellhound?
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Sep 29, 2016 20:05
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Markoff Chaney posted:Mister, that *is* for you, but not like that you dumb poo poo. And you are about 70% as heavy as that box of litter and if it breaks you are going to be dinner. Clearly the correct thing to do is tape a cat circle in the middle of your living room.
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Dec 14, 2016 23:02
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Don't kink shame But do call the SPCA
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Jan 31, 2017 22:51
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Question: Where exactly do you fit on this lovely chart I swiped from Cracked.com? (Thanks Cracked!)  I mean in one of your earlier posts you said you had 8 cats...
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Apr 25, 2017 06:46
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MistressMeeps posted:Also, stop licking my legs as soon as I get out of the shower. I was trying to get clean dammit. Just the other day a friend of mine was complaining that her Doberman would push the door open while she was showering and lick the water off the back of her leg. That's like, serial killer territory.
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Jun 15, 2019 04:23
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bunnyofdoom posted:Harriet, I know you like to meet new people bunny. However, tearing off part of the brand new fence so you can climb into our neighbour's yard to eat their garden is not the best way to do it. Someone's garden today, someone's achilles tendon tomorrow.
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Sep 24, 2019 21:17
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Black Griffon posted:man reading through this thread and experiencing the rise and fall of the porchcats is some heavy poo poo I wish we still had a couple of Porchcats running around, because my neighborhood has been absolutely overrun by wild rabbits over the last couple of years.
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Nov 9, 2019 07:07
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meriruka posted:This is why we can't have nice things. Man, your catte is hosed up.
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Dec 27, 2019 07:29
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| # ¿ May 2, 2024 06:23 |
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MistressMeeps posted:Why do you insist on holding my hand while in the bathroom? You know that door you kicked open? It was closed for a reason. Irritating dog... You watch your dog poop, your dog watches you poop. Seems obvious enough to me.
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Apr 29, 2020 21:36
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