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I have a problem, and that problem's name is "that goddamned hog that oinks and squeals all night and all day that my neighbors are not home." I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment, 662 square feet. My next-door neighbors are a couple, who have two hogs. One of these is a smallish hog, one is about a medium-size thing that looks like a bigger hog, maybe eighty pounds or so. I feel that this is probably a bit of a large animal to keep in an apartment this size, but I recognize there are economic tradeoffs in life and I accept that a two-hundred-acre ranch might not be in their immediate future. As I see it, I have a few options here: 1) Get my apartment complex involved, maybe complaining about the noise. The neighbors will absolutely know it was me, and immediately be on the defensive and think, "gently caress him, I'll complain the two times a year he has coworkers over for a party." My life gets worse in a small way and my problem is in no way addressed. 2) Get the local sheriff's office involved, as our city does have nuisance animal and noise rules. Same problems as above, plus: Both of these do not super appeal to me as they're passive aggressive ways of trying to make my problem someone else's problem. I would prefer to speak to my neighbors politely and ask them if they could take some steps to get their goddamned loving hog to shut the goddamn gently caress up. My problem is I don't have any idea what they could possibly do. Personally, I'd be more than happy to pay to have the thing barbecued. I suspect that my kind offer to have the animal slaughtered would not be received well. Can anyone here suggest some specific things that I can ask them to try out, so I am not simply going to them and saying "Hey, when you are not home and able to control your animal's 24/7 desire to oink and squeal at the entire world, can you please use your telepathic powers to do so?" Are there nose rings or something they could fit it with that would keep it quiet? Would locking it in a sty whenever they're out do the trick? Is there a kind of hog food laced with phenobarbitol?
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Feb 8, 2015 01:29
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| # ? May 1, 2024 00:41 |
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I sympathize, but lets say best case scenario your neighbors are kind, receptive people who completely understand your grievance. Chances are, the hog is poorly trained, ill, or simply ignored and not walked. Most of these things take a fair bit of time and effort to correct, and if your neighbors haven't already taken pains to address the issues previously, they likely can't or won't do it going forward. It's kind of a lose lose, if you complain through a formal channel the end result might be removal of the animal (favorably or otherwise), and possible jerkish retribution from your neighbors (but honestly, most people aren't that petty YMMV). If you talk to them about it, you may get a sympathetic shrug, or you might get a go gently caress yourself. Really, I would just talk to your condo board or building admin or whatever.
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Feb 8, 2015 01:31
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The hog likely has anxiety issues. leave a kind note under the door with some web links on where they can read about solutions to the issue. Also mention in the note that a number of neighbors are concerned but you wanted to give them the heads up first because its the neighborly thing to do. no oink collars are not terribly effective when dealing with an anxious hog. but there are other options available. no need to "squeal on them" right away
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Feb 8, 2015 02:02
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Beat the hog twice daily, roast until tender.
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Feb 8, 2015 06:09
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I'm pretty sure keeping law enforcement professionals as pets is illegal.
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Feb 9, 2015 08:20
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Might I suggest a time out in a shed full of soothing calming smoked mesquite.
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Feb 9, 2015 08:41
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Eifert Posting posted:I'm pretty sure keeping law enforcement professionals as pets is illegal.
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Feb 9, 2015 15:50
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Do you think they know? I was shocked to hear some of the lone pig oinks and squeals my hog lets out when we're not in the house. I only heard them because I was upstairs sleeping when she thought everyone was gone. Maybe they have no clue. Knock on the door or polite note is my recommendation before doing anything else. Maybe they'll act once they know - get a trainer, try food-laced toys, hoggie day care, etc.
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Feb 9, 2015 21:34
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| # ? May 1, 2024 00:41 |
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gently caress the police
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Feb 13, 2015 23:13
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