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I have a problem, and that problem's name is "that goddamned hog that oinks and squeals all night and all day that my neighbors are not home." I live alone in a one-bedroom apartment, 662 square feet. My next-door neighbors are a couple, who have two hogs. One of these is a smallish hog, one is about a medium-size thing that looks like a bigger hog, maybe eighty pounds or so. I feel that this is probably a bit of a large animal to keep in an apartment this size, but I recognize there are economic tradeoffs in life and I accept that a two-hundred-acre ranch might not be in their immediate future. As I see it, I have a few options here: 1) Get my apartment complex involved, maybe complaining about the noise. The neighbors will absolutely know it was me, and immediately be on the defensive and think, "gently caress him, I'll complain the two times a year he has coworkers over for a party." My life gets worse in a small way and my problem is in no way addressed. 2) Get the local sheriff's office involved, as our city does have nuisance animal and noise rules. Same problems as above, plus: Both of these do not super appeal to me as they're passive aggressive ways of trying to make my problem someone else's problem. I would prefer to speak to my neighbors politely and ask them if they could take some steps to get their goddamned loving hog to shut the goddamn gently caress up. My problem is I don't have any idea what they could possibly do. Personally, I'd be more than happy to pay to have the thing barbecued. I suspect that my kind offer to have the animal slaughtered would not be received well. Can anyone here suggest some specific things that I can ask them to try out, so I am not simply going to them and saying "Hey, when you are not home and able to control your animal's 24/7 desire to oink and squeal at the entire world, can you please use your telepathic powers to do so?" Are there nose rings or something they could fit it with that would keep it quiet? Would locking it in a sty whenever they're out do the trick? Is there a kind of hog food laced with phenobarbitol?
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Feb 8, 2015 01:29
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| # ¿ May 21, 2024 16:28 |
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