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EXAKT Science posted:I have a headcold and need to blow my nose, but I can't get up to get tissues because there is a dog lying with his head in my lap I hear you, I need to clean my house because I have guests coming over soon, but this cat is sitting in my lap and she isn't moving anytime soon.
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Apr 5, 2015 18:47
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I would pay an extra $10 to watch a movie with no commercials during the "pre-show" or before the trailers.
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Jun 19, 2015 05:17
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The idiot who renovated my house before I bought it built the kitchen counter around the dishwasher. Who knew that one day someone would want to replace the dishwasher without tearing that counter apart?
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Aug 25, 2015 02:48
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Cats. You love them, feed them, give them a place to stay, play with them, brush them, and snuggle them. They pay you back by peeing in your dryer.
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Jan 10, 2016 17:00
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kreyla posted:My stupid job never pays me on time. It's supposed to be the first and the fifteenth of every month, but it is NEVER ON TIME. It's always some bullshit excuse, too. My favorite was December 15th, when the boss was going out of town to Christmas shop and so couldn't bother to sign our checks, even though she came into the office for half an hour for some other reason. I only got paid that day because I showed her my electric bill that was due two days later and asked her repeatedly to pay me, practically begging. She likes to torture us by withholding our paychecks, for whatever reason. "Oh, we don't have the money in accounting." "Oh, I am waiting till Monday", blah blah blah. What does the labour code look like in your area?
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Jan 16, 2016 00:38
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I love camping but I forgot that I just cannot get any sleep when I'm not in my big boy bed.
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May 12, 2016 14:16
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:I have to call plumbers to get quotes to get a clog in my sewer line fixed. Those kinds of places can eat my rear end. "Let me check our Standard Pricing(tm) so you know every price is fair. Oh I see a clog is a Level 10, that will be $1200 dollars."
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May 26, 2016 23:39
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Fashionable Jorts posted:If getting older means having to go pee more often at night, just kill me now. The last three time I've seen a movie with my dad I've had to leave the theatre to take a leak and now he makes fun of me for it.
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Jul 8, 2016 13:35
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artsy fartsy posted:I have to go to my husband's coworker's husband's birthday party tomorrow. There's like 60 people invited to this thing, most of whom are my parents' age and none of whom I've ever met. 
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Jul 23, 2016 12:55
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artsy fartsy posted:Welp, I didn't talk to everyone of course, but no one within my earshot mentioned Trump. You tease. My toast had a hole in it and the peanut butter kept falling through and I'm typing with sticky hands. Mister Adequate posted:Wow I just want to waste my loving life replaying Dragon Age but it categorically refuses to accept that I have installed any of my mods I want to continue my DA marathon but I have to go to work now.
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Jul 24, 2016 12:59
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The Tragically Hip played every song I wanted to hear except for Bobcaygeon.
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Jul 29, 2016 18:55
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DrBouvenstein posted:I've always heard that you should basically never use any Liquid Plumber/Drano type of products ever. Maybe like once or twice, but despite what they say, they are bad for all pipes, metal and plastic. Nah, Drano is fine. The chemical reacts to hair/dirt/grease whatever but doesn't react with the plastic or metal in the pipes.
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Sep 19, 2016 15:41
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Cowslips Warren posted:Day three of pinkeye and I have used up almost all the meds because it is loving hard to dose your own eyes. I have 4 days left to go and hope I don't loving waste much more. My cat's name is Rosie too. She's ok though, I saw her a minute ago. Condolences on your Rosie 
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Sep 29, 2016 02:34
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Hey Cowslips, I don't want to be creepy, but between your avatar and stories about your mom you're kinda memorable. Anyway, after sorta following your posts for a year+ I think you need to not live with your mom anymore, and maybe stop working at that lovely pet shop.
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Oct 13, 2016 06:37
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Cowslips Warren posted:My avatar is tits awesome, that is why. Truth. quote:In short, I hope they legalize weed here soon, because I will be the first person at the gate buying a brick, and every time she has a meltdown I will slingshot pellets into her screaming maw. Whenever my roommates are fighting for too long I order them an extra large pizza that a few joints appear on somehow.
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Oct 14, 2016 19:43
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DrBouvenstein posted:My GF bought a quart of paint last night for a project, but it was too late to start, so she left it sitting on an end table in the living room. At some point during the night, the cat decided the paint can (and most of the paint within) looked better on the living room floor. Head on down to whatever hardware store you have nearby and get some paint remover wipes. If the paint has dried you can let one rest on a spot for a few minutes to soak in, then wipe it up. They work like Lysol wipes but for paint.
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Jan 18, 2017 01:39
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Breakfast: boiled egg, peanut butter toast, banana. Burps taste like: rancid tuna salad.
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Feb 24, 2017 13:31
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Regular belt loop is too loose, going one smaller is too tight.
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May 4, 2017 23:01
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Inzombiac posted:I think someone stole a package off my porch and I doubt Amazon will replace it. Amazon is really good about refunding/replacing packages, especially if the delivery person didn't get anyone to sign for it. Source: multiple stolen packages this year.
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Jun 6, 2017 16:02
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I thought I slept good, but I checked FitBit and I was two minutes shy of my sleep goal, so I don't get the smiling moon icon to tell me I'm rested and ready for today.
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Jun 7, 2017 04:37
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So I got this tree I need to cut down in the little gap of land between my and my neighbour's houses. I borrowed a saw from a co-worker and I'm going to do it on Wednesday when I finally have a day off. I wake up today and my partner tells me that she came home today and found my neighbour drunkenly berating one of our housemates about how the tree is annoying and he's been trying to tell me to cut it down for years (he never talks to me). Both of them told him he needs to talk to me directly and eventually he wanders off. I'm annoyed because I'm going to cut down this tree and he'll think that bugging them got the message to me and now he'll keep bugging them and never talking to me. Neighbours! Bah!
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Jun 26, 2017 00:47
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You all don't have those blue recycle bags?
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Jun 28, 2017 14:10
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Thanks for not showing the screen.
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Jul 2, 2017 18:42
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The neighbour I hate is listing his house for sale, but I'm worried it will be bought by someone even worse.
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Oct 28, 2017 00:05
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Thin Privilege posted:My dumb rear end thought eating a TV dinner of stuffed peppers in tomato sauce in bed was a good idea, and guess what: I spilled it on my WHITE sheets. I washed them in bleach TWICE and the orange stain is still there. I am extremely upset. Like, really upset. How do hospitals and hotels get crazy stains out of their sheets/clothes/etc? I am very sad Oxyclean, my dude.
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Jan 27, 2018 07:15
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Cat rear end Trophy posted:So, a little buzz on your wist and fireworks going off on your Fitbit gets more results than a living human telling you "Good work!" My FWP is that there are three different possible animations on my fitbit when I hit my goal: a spinning star, some fireworks, and a rocket ship. The rocket ship is my favourite, but I only seem to get it like twice a month.
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Nov 27, 2018 19:48
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That feeling of panic when food is stuck in your throat can go straight to hell. For reference, I was eating toffee and drinking a shake, so I guess the caramel froze in my throat and then wouldn't go down all the way. Why does it feel like dying?? I'm aware that I can still breathe!
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Jun 29, 2019 15:23
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I took a set off for a staycation (12 days off) mostly for the purposes of sleeping in for almost two weeks, and my dumbass brain has been waking me up almost exactly 5 hours after I fall asleep, everyday.
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Sep 21, 2019 18:08
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Stupid_Sexy_Flander posted:I tried to throw a snackie to the cat except he moved right when I let go so instead of arcing it to land near his head, it hit him in the rear end in a top hat and now he's mad at me. Sometime mine beg me to toss them a treat, and when I do it lands beside them and scares them, and then they're mad at me.
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Oct 30, 2019 12:16
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I got a new washer and dryer which are cool, but the washer is front loading and when I take clothes out they all come in a huge clump and some fall on the floor before I can put them in the dryer.
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Feb 20, 2020 17:02
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You'll never know the exact number, but all that scrubbing and wiping will save a non-zero amount of lives from Covid and other infectious diseases.
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Apr 7, 2020 23:54
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