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WeaponGradeSadness posted:Boring, humorless old GBS is back, baby!  this thread is taking up valuable toilet and lolcat thread space
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Feb 9, 2015 17:41
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Good thing I know which parts of the bible God is ok with me ignoring and which parts he wants me to persecute others for not following
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Feb 10, 2015 18:43
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God blessed us with today *thousands of African children starve to death*
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Feb 11, 2015 12:29
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Feb 12, 2015 04:09
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chaosbreather posted:that it would even be a good thing if god (or ANY god) exists, an actual all powerful genocidal hate beast who demands you love him enough to kill your kids, makes up crazy rules about everything and then lets you kill more people to get out of them, that is actually to blame for every horrible moment of the last 300 million years of biology. a being with so much power and so little empathy, who delivers an eternity in a dehumanising passionless prison for believers and eternity in a excruciating insanity for the rest, who creates a minefield and forces children to walk on it, claiming they can do none else despite claiming omnipotence because he lacks the moral compass of the most corrupt cop 
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Feb 12, 2015 04:34
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Stupid Jesus Lovers believe they are being persecuted by the mean atheists when in fact it's the other way around.
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Feb 12, 2015 05:01
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God loves all his children, except for the people I hare
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Feb 12, 2015 16:50
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Cymoril posted:
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Feb 12, 2015 20:12
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pr0k posted:
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Feb 13, 2015 22:02
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Jupiter's Cock!
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Feb 13, 2015 22:07
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XMNN posted:this time im going to work out whether kyrie is actually a crazy catholic fundamemtalist or if he just plays one on television 3 pages and still no Kyrie? Are we finally free?
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Feb 13, 2015 22:08
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gnarlyhotep posted:3 pages and still no Kyrie? Are we finally free? Only through Christ are we free from sin.
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Feb 13, 2015 22:23
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That being told they can't assault a gay/black person with impunity is an attack on their religious freedoms.
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Feb 13, 2015 22:29
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I have a neighbor who's a youth leader at the local church and a former cop and he's a good and cool person.
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Feb 13, 2015 22:30
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i got the lord lord lord lord down in my heart
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Feb 13, 2015 22:33
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Agag posted:Only through Christ are we free from sin. don't start with me
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Feb 13, 2015 22:37
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Darkman Fanpage posted:i got the lord lord lord lord down in my heart where 
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Feb 13, 2015 22:59
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Feb 15, 2015 01:19
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This is a story all about how my bowels got flipped, turned upside down. Gonna take a minute, just sit right there I'll tell you how I got diarrhea from corn dogs at the fair.
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Feb 15, 2015 01:20
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maybe one day xtians will realise that all the good stuff they say was done because of christianity wasnt that at all, it was just like basic common decency shining through. thats all i believe in. maybe one day...lol nah they'll never realise it fucken godfuckers
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Feb 15, 2015 01:27
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gnarlyhotep posted:3 pages and still no Kyrie? Are we finally free? Has Effectronica been in yet? Their meltdown in the previous SJLAB thread was a thing of terrible beauty, and it would be nice to see a sequel. edit: Oh, and hail Satan.
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Feb 15, 2015 01:29
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We need some new gods IMO.
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Feb 15, 2015 01:32
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redshirt posted:We need some new gods IMO. Yawah is the only god
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Feb 15, 2015 01:59
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I like the loophole that you can spend your entire life doing unspeakably horrible things to innocent people (medical experiments on children with no anesthesia, committing genocide and murdering millions of people, etc etc) and on your deathbed if you say you're sorry and accept Jesus into your heart and really really mean it, you get a free pass to heaven. If Mother Theresa had even a doubt then she's being raped and torn apart by literal fire monsters for ETERNITY
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Feb 15, 2015 02:51
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935 posted:I like the loophole that you can spend your entire life doing unspeakably horrible things to innocent people (medical experiments on children with no anesthesia, committing genocide and murdering millions of people, etc etc) and on your deathbed if you say you're sorry and accept Jesus into your heart and really really mean it, you get a free pass to heaven. Coincidentally that makes it a great control mechanism for large populations
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Feb 15, 2015 03:01
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The White Dragon posted:carl sagan is smoking weed with bob marley in the first circle of hell because one was a scientist and the other was a philosopher
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Feb 15, 2015 03:28
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935 posted:I like the loophole that you can spend your entire life doing unspeakably horrible things to innocent people (medical experiments on children with no anesthesia, committing genocide and murdering millions of people, etc etc) and on your deathbed if you say you're sorry and accept Jesus into your heart and really really mean it, you get a free pass to heaven. Mother Theresa wasn't a very good person anyways.
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Feb 15, 2015 03:35
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chaosbreather posted:that it would even be a good thing if god (or ANY god) exists, an actual all powerful genocidal hate beast who demands you love him enough to kill your kids, makes up crazy rules about everything and then lets you kill more people to get out of them, that is actually to blame for every horrible moment of the last 300 million years of biology- Heh, nice try dude. We all know the Earth is only 6000 years old. God Bless
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Feb 15, 2015 04:19
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quote:However, to allege that the God of the Bible is some sort of “monster” for ordering Israel to destroy the inhabitants of Canaan exhibits an ignorance of biblical teaching. Those inhabitants were destroyed because of their wickedness (Deuteronomy 9:4; 18:9-14). They were so evil that their Creator no longer could abide their corruption. That they had numerous opportunities to repent is evident from the prophetic books (Nineveh did repent, for example, and for a time stayed the day of destruction).
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Feb 15, 2015 04:23
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Hmm, I wonder how they would rationalize taking the female children as sex slaves.
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Feb 15, 2015 04:46
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Kanthulhu posted:Hmm, I wonder how they would rationalize taking the female children as sex slaves. game of thrones is crap, how does that grab you
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Feb 15, 2015 04:54
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gnarlyhotep posted:game of thrones is crap, how does that grab you I disagree, I find it a little entertaining.
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Feb 15, 2015 12:56
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Bible should talk about brushing your teeth & flossing, it's important not only to your dental health but if you get an infection in a tooth you can die
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Feb 15, 2015 13:32
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23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this disgraceful thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But to this man, don’t do such a disgraceful thing.” 25 But the men would not listen to him. So the man took his concubine and sent her outside to them, and they raped her and abused her throughout the night, and at dawn they let her go. 26 At daybreak the woman went back to the house where her master was staying, fell down at the door and lay there until daylight. 27 When her master got up in the morning and opened the door of the house and stepped out to continue on his way, there lay his concubine, fallen in the doorway of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28 He said to her, “Get up; let’s go.” But there was no answer. Then the man put her on his donkey and set out for home. 29 When he reached home, he took a knife and cut up his concubine, limb by limb, into twelve parts and sent them into all the areas of Israel. 30 Everyone who saw it said, “Such a thing has never been seen or done, not since the day the Israelites came up out of Egypt. Think about it! Consider it! Tell us what to do!”
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Feb 15, 2015 13:41
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a bit too timecube for my tastes, i think i prefer the bit with the she-bears
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Feb 15, 2015 14:38
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jesus lovers believe satan exists, so theres that at least. shame they picked the wrong team 
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Feb 15, 2015 14:42
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Joey Gladstone posted:Bible should talk about brushing your teeth & flossing, it's important not only to your dental health but if you get an infection in a tooth you can die the Bible does talk about hygiene stuff, like not drinking from the same water supply that you use for washing. very smart in a world before sanitation systems
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Feb 15, 2015 15:26
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Mumpy Puffinz posted:Yawah is the only god The Bible says there's a whole bunch of gods, like Baal, Marduk, Asheroth, Tiamat and the like, but Yahweh is the best one and can light fires way better than Baal can. Elijah (at least I think it was him) had a "pray to your god to ask them to light this fire" contest with some Baal fans and Baal really sucked at it. Not sure how that works with the whole "don't put your god to the test" commandments, but I think the fire-lighting contest was Yahweh's idea in the first place so it was alright.
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Feb 15, 2015 15:29
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Master Bateman posted:23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this disgraceful thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But to this man, don’t do such a disgraceful thing.” This is extremely my poo poo e: post the one about the power rangers
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Feb 15, 2015 15:34
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Master Bateman posted:23 The owner of the house went outside and said to them, “No, my friends, don’t be so vile. Since this man is my guest, don’t do this disgraceful thing. 24 Look, here is my virgin daughter, and his concubine. I will bring them out to you now, and you can use them and do to them whatever you wish. But to this man, don’t do such a disgraceful thing.” Judges is some wacko level poo poo. I'm no religious scholar what is the point of these kinds of passages anyway? What's the message?
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Feb 15, 2015 16:03
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