okcupid.txt

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > okcupid.txt

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

About 90% of the messages I've ever got from women are just "Hi" or "hey there", which kinda makes me not want to message them even if I like their profile because c'mon, don't you have anything interesting to say?

Then again there's always the girl who copied and pasted her OKcupid profile from her Fetlife profile - I know this because her OKC profile had kept the phrase "Some of my Vanilla interests are..." which tipped me off, and a quick google search later revealed that she was really, really into getting pissed on and enjoyed being a 'little' to her 'daddy dom'. Google those terms if you're in need of an emetic.

e: Having an OKC profile with a face pic and a Fetlife profile detailing all sorts of hosed up poo poo with the same profile name is being super good at life.

# ¿ Feb 9, 2015 22:38

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 17, 2024 23:46

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

My self-summary
Alright cunts let�s do this.

1. Don�t message me first
2. Don�t message me first
3. For any reason
4. I will never reply to anyone who ignores what I�m saying and I will block them immediately without reading said message.
5. I WILL NEVER REPLY IF YOU MESSAGE ME FIRST
6. There is literally nothing you can do about this.
7. Messaging me will only serve to mildly annoy.
8. MOVE IT ALONG.
9. PLEASE AND THANK YOU.

If I have messaged you though, this might be of interest. It�s my profile! Wow! What? Unheard of!

These are some things I�ve done with life lately: An arts degree majoring in history and French, and I lived in France for almost a year. I spent last year studying media and now I work part time for a student production house. I take improv classes and Beyonc� dance classes. I like to read and I�m in some book clubs.

I�m still figuring out what I like sexually. I�m not great at being dominant, but I want to be. Workin on it. I guess it should go without saying but I try to be constantly mindful of consent always due to its massive loving importance.

I like feminism, comedy, Amy Poehler and all of the food. I�m polyamorous, although admittedly I haven�t really read into it. I�m pretty sure it�s the right term for me. Basically what I want to say is that I don�t like being monogamous, but that doesn�t mean I don�t have feelings for people.

KAY. I�m not sure what else is helpful information. I think I�m nice and quite approachable (in life, obviously not on okcupid). I will probably offer you a cup of tea and share my tim tams with you. I super don't care about sports. I am not remotely cool.

You should message me if
Only if I've messaged you.
If I messaged you and you don�t like my profile, please don�t respond explaining why I�m wrong about things. Just don�t reply. I don�t want to argue. I�m really only interested in talking to people who like me. In the context of a DATING site I think that makes plenty of sense.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2015 02:25

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Sheep-Goats posted:

Without a picture you don't know that.

Homely nerdish chick #573723 with pimples on her chin, thick-rimmed glasses, and enough of a chin/manhands in her main picture to make you wonder.

# ¿ Feb 15, 2015 03:58

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

quote:

Are you either vegetarian or vegan?

A: Yes

�90% of the time �

# ¿ Feb 16, 2015 22:52

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

TheMostFrench posted:

You hosed a spider hth

I believe they prefer to be called Arachnid-Americans.

# ¿ Feb 19, 2015 10:04

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Choco1980 posted:

My cousin is one of those types of girls. Like, her dad's the richest person in the family and she constantly does things with that money and throws it in faces. Like no lie, this was a conversation at thanksgiving:

So, I'm so excited, I'm going to australia to see my new boyfriend! We met climbing Mt Kilamanjaro last summer!

I uh, went to McDonald's the other day....

So anyways, I recently got to go party in Ibiza, it was so epic...

No joke, most tedious date I've had in my entire life was with a travel agent. Not because she went on and on about her own travel (which her position certainly afforded her given the discounts she could wrangle), but because she went on and on and on about the travel that she had arranged for other people. It was the Coffee Date of Pure Vicarious Bragging that was always at least one degree separated from anything interesting about her as a person, and every single effort to deflect the conversation elsewhere was masterfully deflected into another spiel about her work and how good she was at arranging a good time for others. :irony:

# ¿ Feb 21, 2015 01:56

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

opus111 posted:

Yeah but how were her titz

Not worth the time, effort, and boredom.

Also she mentioned being sarcastic and had a photo of her hugging a tiger in her profile so welcome to the stopped clock being correct twice a day of goon dating advice.

# ¿ Feb 21, 2015 02:09

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Chomp8645 posted:

All I'm saying is that's it better than a safe, boring profile in my book. I'll take a little tryharding quirkiness over "loves to laugh, looking for my partner in crime, 'enjoys hiking', I have a kid and he is my world" profile #1000.

I just think weird is better than boring.

I guarantee you that this person spends all of her social time around other people desperately trying to be The Wackiest oval office In The Room, and that by the 50th time she interrupts a natural lull in conversation by shouting "SPORKS! SPORKS! I ARE TEH PENGUIN OF DOOOOOM" or loving meowing you'll want to hit her with a brick.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2015 22:45

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Honestly "elusive nerd girl" was red flag enough because you know that she's had her ego puffed up by an array of nerdy sadfats orbiting her.

# ¿ Feb 23, 2015 23:05

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

quote:

About me

I live for breaking taboos, mind fucks, nonconsent and degradation. My sexuality revolves around these factors and whilst my interests vary from time to time, the foundations always remain the same. I had a somewhat unconventional introduction to sex that made me associate the feeling of shame and disgust with pleasure and release. As such, I crave it, need it, encourage it and revel in the pairing of those feelings as often as I can.

Some more specific tastes of mine include but are not limited to verbal humiliation, orgasm denial, choking, watersports, emotional masochism, elements of exhibitionism, pegging, forced bi and body worship.

The "dark side" is a slippery slope and I've slid pretty far down the rabbithole. I like to see sexuality for its endless possibilities rather than its limitations. I do love the polarity of sensuality and deviance. I can't exist in the dark all the time and ultimately strive for balance.

AW

PS: If you'd like to know more about me - I'd suggest to start by reading my writings. The journal entries are fact/true accounts/recollections and musings etc. The erotica is fiction (some with varying degrees of fact ;-))

Fetishes

Into: manhandling (receiving), "back off she's mine!" (everything to do with it), "call me daddy as i gently caress you senseless" (everything to do with it), "closer" by nin (everything to do with it), "daddy, please lick my pussy?" (giving), "do you like being my dirty, little bitch?" (receiving), "don't get dressed, i'm not done with you" (receiving), "excuse me, but why haven't we hosed yet?" (everything to do with it), "forced to say bad words while being hosed" (receiving), "get on your knees & tell me you love me" (everything to do with it), "i didn't say like it. i said do it." (receiving), "i want to bruise your pretty face" (everything to do with it), "look me in the eye while i'm hurting you" (everything to do with it), "please, try to resist me..." (everything to do with it), "show me that wet oval office, whore" (receiving), "someone is a horny girl tonight" (receiving), "the way i like to gently caress? face down, rear end up!" (everything to do with it), "what the gently caress just happened" sex. (everything to do with it), "you breathe when i say you do" (receiving), "you can't make me." "wanna bet?" (everything to do with it), "you turn me on so much, slut" (receiving), "you're a filthy little slut, aren't you?" (receiving), "you've had this coming for a long time." (everything to do with it), ... but i like it rough (everything to do with it), a big black cock in your mouth (receiving), a big fat cock (everything to do with it), a firm hand on the back of the neck (receiving), a man who doesn't want to gently caress other women (everything to do with it), a man who will cut onions for me (everything to do with it), a man with a commanding presence, a man's thumb in my mouth (receiving), a sadistic man who knows how to gently caress (everything to do with it), abandoned & derelict buildings (everything to do with it), absolute & undeniable chemistry with someone (everything to do with it), abusive yet loving relationships (everything to do with it), accents (everything to do with it), aggressive sexual dominance (everything to do with it), are you stalking me cause that would be super (everything to do with it), avoiding the 50 shades of newbies (everything to do with it), bad girls with sweet hearts and intellect (everything to do with it), begging for him to stop and being ignored (everything to do with it), being 100% unapologetic about who i am (everything to do with it), being degraded and destroyed (everything to do with it), being eaten out from behind (receiving), being fondled on the couch (everything to do with it), being forced to suck cock by my mistress (everything to do with it), being hosed like a total bitch in heat (receiving), being mocked just because it entertains him (everything to do with it), being one half of a dangerous combination (everything to do with it), being overcome with arousal (everything to do with it), being pinned against the wall and fingered (receiving), being pinned down and hosed brutally (everything to do with it), being pinned down while taking it up the rear end (receiving), being pissed on (receiving), being ruined for anyone else but you (everything to do with it), being the luckiest girl ever because of him. (everything to do with it), being utterly in love, and completely in lust (everything to do with it), belt choking (receiving), biting your lips while making out. (everything to do with it), blank profiles are a hard limit (everything to do with it), boobs covered in cum (receiving), boys who like to bend over and take it from girls (everything to do with it), breast bondage/slapping (everything to do with it), bruises on my throat (receiving), burying my face between your thighs (receiving), call me late at night and tell me you want me (everything to do with it), can't intimidate me? can't dominate me. (everything to do with it), can't work.. engrossed in sexual fantasy.. (everything to do with it), chemistry so powerful your body aches for him (everything to do with it), choking, choking, and more choking (receiving), cock in my rear end just minutes after meeting (receiving), cock worship (giving), come hang out under my desk and entertain me while i check my email (everything to do with it), constantly longing for use (everything to do with it), creeping even myself out (everything to do with it), crying does not mean you have to stop... (everything to do with it), darling, i want to destroy you (receiving), double-handed choking (everything to do with it), dry oval office loving (receiving), edging and denial (receiving), emotional edge play (everything to do with it), evil sadists that truly scare you (everything to do with it), eye contact during choking (giving), face down in the dirt with cock in my rear end (everything to do with it), face slapping (receiving), fear/apprehension/anticipation (everything to do with it), feeling disgust and shame (everything to do with it), feeling helpless (everything to do with it), feeling his cock swell in my mouth (everything to do with it), feeling inferior (everything to do with it), finding her "holy gently caress" button (everything to do with it), forced boy on boy action (everything to do with it), forced to answer questions that make me blush (receiving), gently caress her like you own her (receiving), gently caress the age difference i want you now! (everything to do with it), hosed and/or played with while sleeping or half awake (receiving), hosed-up bitches with dark, perverted minds (giving), loving good girls like dirty little sluts (everything to do with it), loving her so good she's ruined for others (receiving), loving multiple men within a day (everything to do with it), loving the mind before i ever touch the body (everything to do with it), loving you so hard you'll never leave (everything to do with it), getting wet from hearing his voice (giving), going to hell for what we just did in bed (everything to do with it), grabbing you by the throat while i smile (receiving), hand on her throat while leisurely talking (everything to do with it), hand to my throat while looking into my eyes (receiving), having my cake and eating your pussy too (receiving), having sex while nine inch nails music is playing (everything to do with it), having two pairs of hands on me (receiving), hearing him moan loudly as he cums (everything to do with it), him letting me suck on his fingers (everything to do with it), his fingers in my rear end then down my throat (receiving), his hands around my neck (receiving), his hands on my body (everything to do with it), his hands, crushing my throat (receiving), holding her down while he fucks her (everything to do with it), holding me down as you make me take it (receiving), horny doesn't even begin to cover it! (everything to do with it), hurt me because you love me (everything to do with it), hurting myself for his pleasure (everything to do with it), i agree, i do look harmless. go with that. (giving), i can still smell you on me, and i like it (everything to do with it), i can't believe how much i want to hurt you (receiving), i can't believe i'm letting you do this to me (everything to do with it), i know it hurts baby just take it for daddy (everything to do with it), i know you can take it, beautiful (receiving), i stalk because i care (everything to do with it), i want to do bad things with you (everything to do with it), i'm hosed up l and i like it (everything to do with it), i'm not stalking you, i'm investigating (everything to do with it), i'm smiling, that alone should scare you (receiving), keeping him rock hard and leaking precum (everything to do with it), kissing girls (everything to do with it), kissing your hard cock through your pants (giving), kissing, kissing and more kissing (everything to do with it), kneel down, bend over i am taking that oval office (receiving), leaving bruises on your slut (receiving), leaving them desperate and gasping. (everything to do with it), lips that need to be kissed (everything to do with it), long sessions of sweaty passionate lovemaking (everything to do with it), loving each other more and more everyday (everything to do with it), making him hard with my tears (everything to do with it), making out (everything to do with it), making pain beautiful (everything to do with it), making you do whatever the gently caress i feel like, when i want it, how i want it, and you will like it because i like it (receiving), man scent so good it makes you shiver (everything to do with it), maximumcarnage cock (receiving), men on edge videos (everything to do with it), men who actually know where my g spot is (everything to do with it), men who are possessive and protective (receiving), men who love to suck cock (everything to do with it), men with glasses (watching), mind blowing christmas day pussy eating (receiving), mindfucking you till you are a cowering mess (everything to do with it), my alter ego is a horny slut (everything to do with it), my boyfriend is a stud (everything to do with it), not being able to get enough of his cock (everything to do with it), not being able to get the filth off..... (everything to do with it), not knowing what he has planned for me (everything to do with it), oral fixation (everything to do with it), painal (receiving), pet-apc (everything to do with it), plus size models (everything to do with it), posting slutty craigslist ads (everything to do with it), primal aggression (everything to do with it), private blow jobs in public places (giving), punches to my rear end (everything to do with it), realizing he could kill me if he wanted (everything to do with it), reminding her who owns her pussy and rear end. (everything to do with it), requited love (everything to do with it), sapiosexualingus's self-deprecating humour (receiving), sending and recieving dirty text messages while working (everything to do with it), smelling him on me long after he's left (everything to do with it), sorry, i only submit to people who can spell (everything to do with it), standing on tiptoes to kiss him (giving), straight men sucking cock in front of a crowd (watching), sucking daddy's cock while he watches sports (everything to do with it), suffering.. for your pleasure (giving), taking everything your wife/girlfriend won't (everything to do with it), taking you without warning, whenever i want (receiving), tears (giving), teasing her till she's begging for it (everything to do with it), the brooding mr darcy (watching), the contrast of femininity and masculinity (everything to do with it), the dangerous kind of horny (everything to do with it), things that are taboo, filthy, and "wrong" (everything to do with it), things that are too illegal to post online (everything to do with it), throat loving, face slapping, and being reduced to a whimpering, drooling puddle of girl goo. (everything to do with it), tied up, exposed and hosed without mercy (receiving), violate me like you mean it (everything to do with it), well-educated women who say "gently caress" a lot. (everything to do with it), whimpering "please no" & meaning "please yes" (giving), you don't have the vocabulary to gently caress with me (everything to do with it), you keep eye contact while i gently caress your mouth (everything to do with it), you look prettier with my cock in your mouth (everything to do with it), you sure you wanna play with me little girl? (everything to do with it), your cock my rear end to mouth (everything to do with it), your hot piss all over my body (receiving).

Curious about : glory holes (everything to do with it), " i can't wait to break you" (everything to do with it), "edge play" that will turn twisted people on (everything to do with it), "i love you" scratched into your skin (receiving), "i'm going to sin all over you" (receiving), "no, if i were being sadistic, i'd do *this*" (receiving), "you belong to me" whispered in my ear (receiving), a man who'd make an excellent serial killer (receiving), a powerful man kneeling between my thighs (everything to do with it), absolutely everything in varying degrees (everything to do with it), alcohol enema (receiving), all day cock sucking (everything to do with it), asylum play (everything to do with it), bbc (everything to do with it), beg me to destroy you (giving), begging for permission to orgasm (giving), begging to let me suck your cock (everything to do with it), being a whore for big, black cock (everything to do with it), being broken (giving), being degraded until i cry then laughed at! (everything to do with it), being gangbanged by daddy's friends (receiving), being humiliated by a beautiful woman (everything to do with it), being made to wear a buttplug all day (receiving), being molested by daddy as i sleep (everything to do with it), being mounted and bit on the neck (everything to do with it), being passed around a group (receiving), being staked out in my backyard (receiving), being taken advantage of intoxicated (everything to do with it), being taken advantage of while drunk (receiving), being taken advantage of while passed out (everything to do with it), being the meat in a sadist sandwich (receiving), being the object of your darkest desires (everything to do with it), being your little white bitch (everything to do with it), biting my neck during sex (receiving), blissing out (everything to do with it), brutalisation (receiving), caging her and using her through the bars (receiving), chained to the bed and used as a gently caress toy (everything to do with it), choked unconscious and hosed... (receiving), choking out, and waking up on the floor (receiving), cruel and demented experiments (watching), doggystyle with her head in the toilet (receiving), emotional masochism (everything to do with it), failing at talking while edging (everything to do with it), female forcing man to eat cream pie (everything to do with it), finding trust that allows letting go totally (everything to do with it), forced conversation while being pleasured (everything to do with it), gently caress god. fear me. (receiving), loving her with a noose around her neck (receiving), loving on ecstasy (mdma) (receiving), gaping rear end in a top hat (receiving), girls who drink piss on the first date (giving), hers and his glory hole activities (everything to do with it), him cutting me and making me bleed (receiving), holding you down while i beat and gently caress you (receiving), holding you until the struggling stops (everything to do with it), impregnation fantasy (everything to do with it), kept chained by the neck in a dirty basement (receiving), making guys cum in their pants (giving), my pleasure is your only hope for salvation. (everything to do with it), pee in my oval office (receiving), race play (everything to do with it), sleep assault (receiving), slowly maliciously backing you into a corner (receiving), straight jackets (wearing), strapped on the bed and used as a gently caress doll (receiving), the sound of a belt being removed. (receiving), therapist/patient play (everything to do with it), waking up with his cock in my mouth (receiving), what goes on beyond the breaking point (everything to do with it).

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 22:21

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Libelous Slander posted:

General Bullshit � okcupid.txt: it's just horse girls all the way down

Pro tip: if you see a girl and she mentions liking horses or owning horses or there's a picture of her on a horse, run.

Run as far and fast as you can.

Pon de Bundy posted:

man that bitch is hosed up

Half of her 'writings' are straight-up daddy-daughter incest stories, which gives the third sentence of her profile context.

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 22:38

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

LethalGeek posted:

Fetish or untreated trauma you decide!

Cept this cause it's totally untreated trauma god drat

You want to read one of her stories, you say?

:nms:

quote:

Crush me

Erotica | 3 Comments � 2 Love It | about 1 year ago

Just a story of fantasy. I'm not concerned with the technicalities and/or feasibility at this point.

They had been seeing each other for a while; coming up to 6 months. She knew what she wanted from him - what she had always wanted but had been too afraid to ask for. She was sure he was the one.

"I want you crush me" she whispered into his ear post coital - his limp dick still inside her sopping oval office.

"Crush you?" He repeated. He slid his dick out of her oval office and moved his body off of her, propping up his head on his elbow. He looked directly at her.

"I want you to break my bones. I want my body to be spent and lifeless underneath you". She exhaled slowly. "I want to suffer for you, I want to die for you. I have met my match; my one true master. I want no other master."

He loved to have his ego stroked. He felt his cock twitch whilst he pondered her question.

"Will you do it? Will you crush me?" she questioned again.

"But you're not into pain" he said.

She sighed. "It's not about pain. It's about the sweet release of death at the hands of my Master and his will. It doesn't have to be now, it doesn't even have to be soon.. But it does have to be before you've had enough of me. I couldn't bare it otherwise. I don't wish to be discarded, I don't want to be released. I want my tortured body to be forever stuck in limbo; beholdent to you."

His cock was pressing against her hip bone now; growing harder by the second. He knew how he wanted to do it. He could see it now.

"Spread. I'm going to gently caress that sopping oval office again imagining it's your lifeless body after i've crushed you."

She groaned and complied. She was a good girl for her Master.

He climbed on top of her, his hand grabbing her neck whilst he entered her. She was still sopping. He squeezed her neck tightly - realising for the first time how fragile she really was.

...........

It was the day. He told her of his intentions. He wanted her to anticipate it. He'd been masturbating thinking about it for several months but not for a few days now. He wanted his cock hard and aching whilst the scene unfolded.

He was going to crush her neck. He wanted to feel it breaking underneath his weight. Such a vulnerable neck and such fragile feminine bones - he wondered how much work it would be to snap.

He told her to greet him naked at the door. He would take her tonight but only when she was no longer able to give her consent.

They went straight to the bedroom. He kissed her naked body. He caressed her all over whilst not penetrating her. He teased her till she was moaning in his ear. Oh how he loved a wanton lustful slut like her. He wanted to use her but knew it would be better if he waited. The sadist inside him wanted to send her to the beyond, desperate and horny.

She groaned and spread her legs wider. "gently caress me" she whispered. "gently caress me for the last time."

"There is no more last time. You are forever mine."

She thrust her pelvis into the air and moaned "but Master"...

"This is what you asked for. This is how I want you. Now beg me". He took her right nipple between his fingers and rubbed it gently before putting his mouth to it.

She exhaled. "Please."

"I can't hear you" he said and resumed licking her nipple, taking her left one between his fingers.

She gyrated on the bed. "Please crush me, Master... End me as is now your will. Make me suffer. Please, I beg of you."

His cock was rock hard right now. He moved up so his head was against hers. He stared straight into her soul.

"Take the life out of me, Master. Allow me to dedicate my body to you. Please enjoy my body when I'm gone. Please Master, please."

He sat upright and grabbed her by the neck. He threw her to the ground beside the bed and crouched down beside her. He applied pressure to her neck, pinning her to the ground whilst the fingers on his other hand teased her clit in slow concentric circles.

She was struggling for breath. He didn't stop his torment.

She opened her mouth to speak. She was unable to formulate words and just opened and closed her lips in pleasure whilst thrusting her clit up against his finger.

He knew the signs. She was going to cum. He didn't want her to cum. He wanted her soul tormented. He slid a finger into her oval office. He felt her clenching and squeezing around him, just about to orgasm. He quickly took his finger off her clit and his hand off her neck. She gasped for breath, her body convulsing in her ruined climax.

She gasped for breath before uttering "take me now. Please. I need to feel it now."

He stood up and moved up to her head.

She elongated her neck - anticipating his next move. Her big eyes staring up at him, pleading with him.

He held one foot above her neck... Angling it so she could feel some pressure. He slowly lowered it onto her neck. He could feel resistance at first. She was gurgling underneath him and her eyes were watering. Her lips were still whispering "please".

He lowered his foot down and placed his other one on her neck too. He let her have his full weight. Her body refuted him and arched up away from the floor. Struggling beneath him.

He felt powerful. Life beneath his feet. He was on top of the world.

She was turning blue quickly - starved for oxygen. Still gurgling and spluttering her eyes closed.

He felt her neck snap underneath his feet. Her body turned limp. His cock ejaculated - all the while staying hard. His cum hitting her face and hair.

He stood there for a few more seconds before stepping off.

He grabbed her body and flipped her over; grabbing her neck and pulling her head back as far as he wanted as he forced himself inside her sopping but tight oval office. He knew her body was in for a rough night. He was going to enjoy taking her over and over again before she started to rot. He hoped she'd got what she wanted.

# ¿ Feb 27, 2015 13:39

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

"I can't stand drama and don't have any time for people who get involved in it"

*Mask falls off revealing a swirling vortex of self-destructive tendencies and interpersonal social retardation*

# ¿ Mar 2, 2015 10:24

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

quote:

About What?
Initially I made this profile for my work colleague who is single. But I felt a bit down in my head as I got concussion from some sicko the other night.
I decided to use this website to kill my time as my doctor prescribed me no work no study. Well. It's like going back to childhood where I only had fun no work.
I m looking for mature gentle man who has sense of humar and who knows the right thing and who will know what I want and give to me
I have met many rear end holes in Australia so I wish this time is good man I hope
Well no games. No head banging like that sicko I encountered the other night
Just relax and see what will happen

No games. No sex. No one night

Be a human being. We are NOT ANIMAL!!

# ¿ Mar 29, 2015 05:12

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Note to self: always look for a body shot. Because apparently the 'athletic body type' of a 'gym junkie' shares real estate on a venn diagram with 'ewok'.

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 02:24

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

"I have a past, but then again so does everybody."

Translation: RUN

# ¿ Apr 6, 2015 04:46

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

About Me
love cooking, love to sow patchwork quilts. Love music. I am very open to ghost and crystal I try to meditate.
Good job good health. Not a crack head. Travel the world

First Date
If he turns up

# ¿ Apr 7, 2015 15:41

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

LeoMarr posted:

Once again trapped by a good looking face shot, gently caress she just added a new pic and she is fat as gently caress

# ¿ Apr 7, 2015 15:48

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

So I got a message from out of the blue...

quote:

From your photos. ..you seem very strong!! Im sure you give excellent hugs

Well this looks promising. Hmm, no details on her profile, but she looks cute, might be worth a look, hey let's have a look at her answered questions...

Welp.

# ¿ Apr 11, 2015 00:09

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Hood Ornament posted:

She wants you to hug the white power right into her, daily.

Is it too late to change my cock's name by deed poll to "the white power"?

# ¿ Apr 11, 2015 00:44

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

macky2dope posted:

hi guys i've been dating a girl for almost six months and i met her on the internet AMA

When are you flying over to meet her for the first time?

# ¿ Apr 23, 2015 22:53

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Unsolicited initial message that a friend received:

quote:

My Modest But A Tad Blunt Proposal IV (one (in)decent proposal deserves another!)
To meet up with you in person because I consider you to be interesting/attractive based on your profile. For the folks whom have received the first proposal please see the updates/musings at the tail end of this message.

*Skip to end for a Special Treat*

Disclosures:
1. This message has been used and reused on a number of interesting/attractive females
2. I am interested in meeting a significant other as well as meeting people in general.
3. Here are my well-maintained social media profiles to "prove" that I do exist outside of the digital world. Social media profiles: https://www.facebook.com/xflubb | http://www.linkedin.com/in/swliu
4. Potential red-flag: Haven't had a girlfriend in 6 years
5. Just getting back into the online dating scene.

Raison d'�tre for this proposal:
I am still relatively new to this online dating scene, but I have heard many fail stories (and a few success stories) when it comes to free online dating sites. As I have mentioned above, based on my very limited knowledge of your world views and your chosen online appearance, I have made the assessment to deem you of sufficient compelling interest for me to impart further effort to "get to know you better." To my understanding, there is a lot of wasted time involved with the online messaging that in all likelihood will end up nowhere for the both of us should you choose to respond. This mutual annihilation of time (money) should not be taken so lightly and, hence, I have crafted My Modest Proposal to get the ball rolling. After all, the ends to this whole online dating website is not to develop only an online (albeit possibly passionate :P) relationship. Hopefully, if you have read this far into my message, then I am most certainly preaching to the choir.

Instructions:
1. Skim my OKCupid profile to see if I am remotely interesting and check out my facebook/linkedin profile to get an idea of what I am about.
2. Reply to this message OR, ideally, text/call my google number 202-656-4855.
3. Schedule a meeting time/place of your choice (police station, health clinic, coffee shop, bar, etc.) TIP OF THE DAY: Choose a public place with plenty of pedestrian traffic!

Q&A:
1. What if you are a creep?
I am not. I can offer you at least 5 references upon your request within 48 hours excluding holidays and weekends.
2. Why haven't you had a gf in 6 years?
Long story, but basically I haven't met the right person. Duh!
3. Don't you realize that most girls are into the more subtle approaches?
Yes, but I am not really looking for a plurality of matches. One is enough.
4. What if we meet up and we have a horrible time together?
I will be truly sorry. I guess it is a risk that comes with this type of social experiment.
5. Are you socially retarded?
No. OK, sometimes, but it's by choice and in full recognition of the social backlash and ramifications.
6. Are you a player?
Hardly.
7. How long have you been on OKCupid?
Just filled out my profile on 9/9/2012. Proposal II was written on 11/27/2012. Proposal III was written on 2/4/2013 and was also distributed manually :/ shortly thereafter. Proposal IV was written on 6/7/2013
8. Your questions here!

Updates since Proposal I:
1. I made a move out to Carson City, NV to pursue my dreams of making a difference at a green energy startup on Oct 16th, 2012.
2. In order to stay Californian, I make frequent trips back to either LA/OC/SD or the Bay Area. By frequent, I mean every other weekend for LA/OC/SD and the weekends between those to the Bay Area.
3. I've gone on quite a few dates armed with the aforementioned Proposal I and have certainly made some new friends with the logic being that it takes another quirky individual to answer my call.
4. I still firmly believe that it is a numbers game. I must have sent over 1000 messages and had a reply rate of less than 5%. I have met up with 9 people thus far and am in the process of scheduling to meet others.
5. If you feel like you missed out the first/second time around don't hesitate to give me a holla!
6. I found an awesome girl with this method, but things didn't work out, so I'm back again.

*Special Treat*:
I got one of my good buddies on board okc. If you are not into 200+ lb Chinese Americans, then please give my svelte and sexy buddy, �Virt� a shot at love! YES he really is 6�3�!(recent transplant to SF, consummate professional, amazing chef, foodie, sophistication beyond belief)
http://www.okcupid.com/profile/Virt85

Check out this ted talk on the surprising honesty beholden to the internet. A bit counter-intuitive to the effects of anonymity typically associated with the internet.
http://www.ted.com/talks/jeff_hancock_3_types_of_digital_lies.html

Pragmatism is still not dead in online dating!

# ¿ May 2, 2015 09:32

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

More 1st-time messages, this time with replies:

Him posted:

Did you know they actually pay for sperm donors now? To think I've probably lost $270 to your pictures over the last few weeks. When we go out you're paying for dinner.

Her posted:

Wow. You're super creepy. You should try not being super creepy.

Him posted:

In what way was that creepy? Your family would consider it divine intervention if a man as well rounded as I ever fell into your hands.

Or how about what happens when someone gets caught using a copy-paste opener:

Him posted:

You hunger for and run towards those experiences in life that are intense where you have to push yourself hard. Finding those moments sweeps you away with great passion and feel fully alive.

Her posted:

You send copy-paste emails to people on okcupid because you haven't an original thought in your head.

http://www.refinery29.com/online-dating-horror-stories

Him posted:

Sorry, I had to read the link and I am on my slow computer and not one of the tablets. I see no relationship. Fact one, I create NEW all the time. Fact two, I meet many women offline and online. Fact three, you are 1% of the population that I encounter. Whatever I would write that made contact with you would have caused the same reaction, because you are NOT physically attracted to me. The result is the creation of a cognitive DISCOUNTING CUE. What would you do in my place if 1% of a population moved away from you? How much of your day would that concern you?
It's easy to predict the following:
1. You thought that I would become mad or curse you. That's what men do that have negative feelings about women.
2. You thought you are somehow exposing me. What I wrote is one of thousands of things I do and may say to a woman online. How many types of variations on hello can someone use for members of the same culture?

Why think inside the box and become trapped outside of innovation like everyone else. The rewards in life are for People going out to the shortest branches and getting the fruit furthest away from the low-hanging free fruit everyone's fighting for because they think its easy.

Are you chasing a picture? I am not. Maybe when I go out with someone we transform an everyday situation into something unique for each other. We talk about everything in the universe and do things differently. If something develops we see each other again. If no, now we have a story to tell our friends. I love finding a beautiful woman, one who has an open mind and heart full of the joys of life. When a man encounter that rare woman life becomes so much sweeter.

Her posted:

u mad

Him posted:

YES, my business partner did not call at 9:00 am and he did not complete an important task on the agreed upon time table.
I will call him again and do the task myself.

Her posted:

Ah, so this is the bit where you deflect regarding how you just wrote a 300+ word, multi-paragraph diatribe about how totally not perturbed about being seen through you feel, by intimating that something else is the cause.

You also mistake verbosity for depth.

Him posted:

Maybe, I have a poor attention span.
Or maybe I understand GAME THEORY.
Are you trying to fight with me?
Maybe, I am denying to fight.
Everything is choice,right?
You must not have looked at my profile deeply.
Have you seen the size of my big library?
Have you seen the size of my BIG HEAD?--MASSIVE

1st one is just awkward, 2nd looks to be unmedicated.

# ¿ May 2, 2015 12:29

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

HerStuddMuffin posted:

The copy-paste one reads like something procedurally generated by a poorly coded flirting algorithm, if that even exists. Did a human write it? They fail the Turing test.

You have to remember that this isn't an attempt at communication, this is an incantation. Some level-20 pussy conjurer has told a PUA community that these words impart a +31% bonus to Opening Statement when attempting to aggro an HB8, and he's swallowed it hook, line, and sinker.

# ¿ May 2, 2015 23:43

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

# ¿ May 6, 2015 23:59

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

some massive, bearded, lumberjacky powerlifter posted:

My self-summary

Believing in love is like believing in the tooth fairy!!
Love DEMANDS a renunciation of self , the ONE thing people can not , will not give up!!
Show me someone who has given up "self" !!

LOST IN A TEAR !
like to stay in my own melancholy ... In other words, i'm introverted =)

I meet a lof of ppl that "just want happiness" from this, (meaning that they are probably not happy now) ... well i ask this : how can you be happy with someone else IF you are not happy by yourself ??

TRUE HAPPINESS COMES FROM THE INSIDE ...

What I�m doing with my life

why is there sadness: because we desire .
why do we desire : because we falsely believe the object of our yearning will bring us happiness .

Realizing what a waste of my time this is !!

I�m really good at

Keeping my word & keeping it real, making ppl laugh, my amazing hugs & well , unknowingly intimidating others ... but in all seriousness -- ANYTHING i put my mind to.

The first things people usually notice about me

Eyes
arms
smile
humor
wit
sarcasm
beard

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food

One rain drop says to the other one (falling besides it): "will you help me from falling, hold my hand, stay with me together ?"

The other rain drop was wise ( & replies): " why no, i'm going to hit the ground just as hard as you, and become part of muddy water"

The 1st rain drop then says: "oh no, i'm scared ... isn't there anything that we can do?"

The wise rain drop replies : "sure, we WILL hit the ground THIS time, for sure, no doubt about that....BUT , if once we are there we can find ourselves , our way to the ocean .. there ... we will be ONE ... part of something much much bigger than ourselves, something grand & there, will shall be together, forever !!"

we are ALL falling rain drops, separated from the ocean (The Eminent Lord) BUT ... if we can somehow get back to the ocean (Him) ... there we are more than our our lost selves. -- a beast original ;-)

"soul mate" ... IF you believe that we aren't just body (meaning something deeper than flesh, bones & blood, etc.) like, a part of the DIVINE, then our "mate" is THE Ultimate Power itself. Not other rain drops =)

If you settle for mediocre , you will never be more than mediocre -- but first, apply that to yourself -- NOT judge others !!

I spend a lot of time thinking about

How life passes by so quickly

& why all the mediocre girls who are on this site are so GASSED !!

On a typical Friday night I am

Trying to spend my time selflessly

The most private thing I�m willing to admit

I want to die.

You should message me if

Don't be too full of yourself ... we are all made out of flesh and the beauty associated with the body shall wither away one day !!

Last words : a rise always comes before a fall

NOTIFICATION: Any institutions or individuals using this site or any of its associated sites for studies, projects, advertising, sales, or any other reason-you DO NOT have permission to use any of my profile or pictures in any form or forum both current and future. If you have or do, it will be considered a violation of my privacy and will be subject to legal ramifications. It is recommended that other members post this.

# ¿ May 24, 2015 05:09

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

quote:

My self-summary
I got married in 2000, but left my husband ova 2 yrs ago.
I have had 7 kids but only 6 living all under the age of 15yrs, and 4 of the kids have very special
needs.

I would like a man who knows how 2 treat and respect ladies and kids.
I don't want a man who smokes or do drugs and do not cheat

What I�m doing with my life
I have been and still am trying 2 raise my kids it is still hard on them ever since I left my husband due 2 all the abuse with me and the kids, so I have been putting their needs before myself. So I am ready to start putting my life 2gether again so I can be happy again. I hate being alone being alone long enough for me.

I�m really good at
Looking after my kids & my family,friends, and my pets.
I love Ten Pin Bowling.
I love going 2 the swimming pool center when I can

Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
I'm not in 2 books, but I do read magazines though.
I love watching tv shows, movies, and foxtel but I can't be specific as there is a lot.
I do like music but I love listening to music from the late 50's onwards so u could say I'm old school.
The food I don't like are the hot & spicy ones

The six things I could never do without
My kids,family,friends,pets.
Being happy,loved etc.
Cuddles.
Sleeping.
Going out.
Watching tv etc.

I spend a lot of time thinking about
My kids,family,friends,pets.
Being happy.
Finding love and trust again.
Myself and my kids healths.
Money of course.

On a typical Friday night I am
Me and my kids will go ova 2 my sister and her partner's place for a movies night and the kids can play with their cousins. Or my sister will bring herself and her kids ova 2 my place 4 a movies night

You should message me if
If we get along and u want 2 talk.

Oil up, fellas.

(That's a HARD 36 years.)

# ¿ Jun 4, 2015 13:49

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

So what's the phrase on a profile that makes you most want to hammer the "hide" button like no tomorrow?

I'm tossing up between "As a functioning alcoholic..." and "...looking for a daddy dom to feed me cummies."

# ¿ Jun 7, 2015 00:45

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

toggle posted:

gulp down these cummies baby girl

~That feel when you ask daddy to feed you cummies and he gives you poopies instead~ :3

I think that the only reason dd/lg haven't done the rounds as much as furries MRAs and bronies on SA is that it's awfully hard to stare into that kind of howling void to gather enough material to mock before you get the urge to eat a bullet.

# ¿ Jun 7, 2015 02:34

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

TheSpiritFox posted:

You should go into the howling void for us and find out.

quote:

So this is a minor rant. Only because im somewhat hurt by this event.

So some people close to me still dont know about being my being a little. On telling someone recently , she looked at me like I was some strange creature who had just vomited all over her. Her first statement was " dont you think at this age you should be growing up?" her next question hurt me most, this person being someone who knows what Ive gone through in loosing my daughter. She turned to me and said " Whats going to happen when you have a child? You cant be an immature child raising a child yourself. Isnt that like incest?"

Firstly. I am already a mother. Just because my daughter is no longer with me doesnt mean im not a mum. Ive been through pregnancy, child birth. The lot. Just because im a little does not mean it will ever affect my relationship with my children. If anything I may have a stronger bond in some aspects. We will prehaps watch more cartoons and play with more toys. But thats about it.

Secondly. In no way is a DD/lg relationship incestuous. We are not sick and twisted people with peadophilic desires.

A person who identifies as a little is someone who's just more intouch with there childlike nature. They seek an emotionally mature person who can care for them, love them ,need them and much much more.

Being a little does not mean im some immature little girl incapable of being an adult. I live a very adult life. I work, I volunteer for struggling people, I cook and I clean my house. I just have a little more fun doing it.

So what if I like coloring in. It's epic! Watching cartoons? Awesome. Pink and glittery cute things!? AMAZING. Who cares if I collect Teddy bears, they make the best cuddling partners when your sad. All of these things does not make me an alien or a weirdo. Im just a young woman who gets more enjoyment out of the young side of life. Seeing a butterfly sends me into a giggling girly mess. Cuddling my teddies sends me into a snuggling, coy cuddly mood.

Sometimes it's not easy being a little. Not everyone wants to understand.

Will I ever stop? Probably not. Since finding myself as a little im happy. Im comfortable, I feel like I can finally be myself and like I belong. Like I understand myself.
Ill probably be a hundred years old, racing around in a hot pink wheel chair with all my teddies in tow....and that's OK, because it's who I am.

Im a little and im proud.

quote:

Fetishes

Into: age play, anal sex (receiving), asphyxiation (receiving), rear end play (receiving), ball gags (receiving), being a slut, but not for just anyone (everything to do with it), being a slut,but being his slut. (everything to do with it), biting, blindfolds (receiving), bondage (receiving), breast/nipple torture (receiving), breath play (everything to do with it), collar and lead/leash (receiving), cuddles (everything to do with it), dildos (receiving), discipline (receiving), doctor/nurse play (receiving), erotic photography, extracting her whimpers (receiving), face loving (receiving), gagging/choked by cock (receiving), hair pulling (receiving), handcuffs (receiving), kitten petplay (everything to do with it), lingerie, lovingly being called a bad, bad man (giving), masturbation (receiving), mutual masturbation (giving), nipples, oral sex (giving), orgasm control (receiving), pain (receiving), piercings, pleasing daddy (everything to do with it), role play, sex in public, spanking (receiving), talking dirty, toys (receiving), vibrators (receiving), whips (receiving).

Curious about : caging/confinement, candle wax, chains, chastity devices.

quote:

No cummies for you tonight kitten now straight to bed with you

(╯ಊ╰) but daddy�im so squishy�it tingles daddy..im sticky..

Use mr fluffy baby until I get home from work and maybe I�ll give you cummies

（　�∀｀）Thank you daddy! baby cant wait for cummies!!

quote:

�Only good girls get cummies. Have you been a good girl, pumpkin?� His finger teased, making sure her attention was right between her legs.

�Yes, daddy,� she said on a sigh, tilting her hips toward his finger. His finger pulled away, frustrating her with the lightness of his touch on her outer lips.

�You think so, hmm? Well, let�s consider. How many times did you talk back to daddy this week?�

She pouted, but replied softly, �Four.�

�That�s right, and that�s quite the number isn�t it? And how many times did you touch where you weren�t supposed to?�

Her hips tried again to roll toward his finger, and she whimpered as he expertly avoided giving her the touch she wanted. �Twice, daddy.�

�Touching is very, very naughty for a little girl like you, pumpkin. We�ve been over this, you�re just too little to touch here without supervision.�

She let out a frustrated hmph, in obvious disagreement, but managed to keep whatever protests she had to herself.

He considered her quietly for a minute, teasing her all the while, before he spoke. �No, I think maybe this time you weren�t quite good enough for cummies. So daddy�s gonna have his own cummies right�here,� he explained as his finger slipped down and pushed into her bum.

�Please, daddy no,� she begged.

�Daddy says yes. And if you�re a really good girl for daddy while he fucks your little bottom, maybe he�ll reconsider and give you cummies before bedtime. But if you�re a bad girl�he might just send you to bed in a thick diaper and the locking mittens��

Not going back again. Seen too much. The irony of reading this poo poo making me want to crawl into a foetal position is positively Nietzschean.

# ¿ Jun 8, 2015 00:06

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

You forgot "uses the word 'simple' to describe herself as if that's a positive trait".

# ¿ Jun 8, 2015 11:56

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Shirley Crabtree posted:

perhaps, thats the beauty of the dying relative get-out you cant be called out on it, im cynical because its been used on me about three times in the past and each time its been when ive arranged a date way too soon before getting to know the person and when theres been barely any contact inbetween, i suspect its like a panic thing i.e. oh poo poo i dont know this person, my dad is dead! either that or i am basically the grim reaper

What's your definition of 'too soon' regarding arranging a date?

If anything, endlessly messaging back and forth is more of a hindrance. There's only so well that you can get to know someone by chatting through a computer screen, and doing so for extended periods gets tiresome.

Breetai fucked around with this message at 23:43 on Jun 9, 2015

# ¿ Jun 9, 2015 23:40

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Ripoff posted:

I don't know what the gently caress I'm doing on okcupid because the more I use it the more I'm convinced it's like some ironic twitter performance art stuff. I clicked on the "Activity" link this morning and saw a woman that was telling anyone who wants to get married that "[she's] your girl" and in the literal next sentence states that she's pregnant.

Nobody could be like that on this gay earth, sorry. This all has to be a huge joke and I'm not in on it yet.

It's an algorithm.

If(children>0, "Are my world"=TRUE, "")

# ¿ Jun 11, 2015 14:24

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

More of a friend of mine's incoming messages.

How do I off-script?

(Youtube link is this.)

# ¿ Jun 13, 2015 03:21

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

# ¿ Jun 14, 2015 14:08

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

quote:

My self-summary
I am most definitely one of those people who was brought up in the wrong era.. I love everything to the with the 1940's & 50's.. I love how the men would adore their wives who would stay at home and looks after the house and family.. Back then there were more class and manners then there is today!

You won't see me in short skirts or revealing tops. I believe that something's should remain a mystery and you shouldn't show off everything.. Something's are best shown off behind closed doors
What I�m doing with my life
I currently study a foundations course at the University of South Australia and I will hopefully be going onto do a bachelor of design (visual communications) next year.

I work part time in a hotel as a receptionist but it's not where my heart is..
I�m really good at
I'm really good at baking and cooking (well I think I am anyway).
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
My favourite book series is The Wolves of Mercy Falls, the author is one of my favourites Maggie Stiefvater...

I love old classic movies especially the ones with Audrey Hepburn.. She is so glamorous and timeless. My favourite movie of hers is most definitely Breakfast at Tiffany's
The six things I could never do without
- Coffee
- Red velvet cupcakes
- Clothes
- Romance
- Books
- Laughter
I spend a lot of time thinking about
I tend to spend a lot of time contemplating my actions and how what I have done in the past is effecting my life now.
On a typical Friday night I am
Typical (ideal) Friday night would be snuggled up at home with a warm cup of homemade soup and an intriguing book.
You should message me if
If you appreciate the romance and traditionalism of the past.

If you are interested in swing dance or other types of ballroom, you will also extra points if you have 50's style. ;-)

I do appreciate manners and old fashioned chivalry.. So please take these into consideration if you decided to message me.

** Also please note that I am in a polyamorous relationship not to be mistaken for an open relationship.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 12:58

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

There's something off about her. You can see the crazy radiating out of her.

# ¿ Jun 18, 2015 14:43

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

Lawman 0 posted:

Are nurses fun to date y/n?

They pretty much universally run to fat after they hit 30 because their lovely schedule drives them to eat lovely food and stress eat with no time/energy for regular exercise, and at some point or other they will get a lifelong hip, shoulder, or back injury either lifting a hyperobese patient or trying to catch a falling granny who dies anyway.

e: who wants to see a hard 39?

She's 39 years young and a fan of Motley Crue. Go get her, boys,

Breetai fucked around with this message at 00:22 on Jun 28, 2015

# ¿ Jun 28, 2015 00:20

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

notZaar posted:

What's a "computer janitor"?

A lot of goons ostensibly are super proud of their STEM degrees and majors in computer programming, but in fact spend their days helping middle managers use excel or octogenarians install virus scanners.

# ¿ Jun 28, 2015 04:27

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 17, 2024 23:46

Breetai: Nov 6, 2005; 🥄Mah spoon is too big!🍌

So how'd the exchange go after that?

I've never met that particular brand of clingy before, and was wondering how you extricated yourself. Did she realise how nuts she sounded, or react badly to the shutdown?

# ¿ Jun 28, 2015 23:49

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > okcupid.txt

«‹›3 »