quote:

My self-summary
PLEASE READ MY PROFILE & OKCUPID ANSWERS CAREFULLY. Due to the large amount of people who have contacted me without bothering to read my profile I have tried to make it as detailed as possible in the hopes of limiting incompatible matches. If you message me I will go to your profile & read ALL of it (which is the respectful & courteous thing to do) as well as read your answers to the OKCupid questions. If I don't think we have enough in common I will message you back to say thanks but no thanks. If it is obvious you have not even bothered to read my profile, & it is always obvious, I will not message you back & will just delete your message. Thanks.

*** Also, if you don't like my profile then just close it & move on to another person's profile. Anyone who messages me anything negative about my profile or me will be reported. I do not tolerate internet harassment in any form no matter how 'constructive' (aka passive aggressive) it may seem. Thanks ***

Having said all that... I have recently moved back to the coast after being out west (QLD) for the last few years working in mining. I am currently using this time to relax & plan my next life step/move.

I enjoy being out & about on the weekends attending community or cultural events. I am really not into sports, cars or anything like that. I don't mind fishing or camping occasionally but I really don't like getting dirty.

My interests include visual & performing arts (including ballet, contemporary dance, opera & symphonies), singing & music theory, ethical philosophy, evolution, history & documentaries on social issues. Over the next 12-18 months I want to become competent in guitar & have some singing lessons to widen my vocal range, learn French, take up rock 'n' roll or rockabilly dancing & I wouldn't mind doing a painting course to learn some new skills.

I love to laugh & joke around so comedy & humour are very important to me. I am very interested in the world around me. Fighting social issues & injustices are at the forefront of my interests & my humanist passion.

I have had a lot of 'athletic' guys contact me who are all about the gym & other forms of exercise. I am not a lover of exercise, I do just enough to get me by at present. I am wanting to get a regular routine going over the next few months but once again I don't intend on going crazy. If you are looking for a trim, taut gym Barbie then don't contact me because you will be very disappointed. I don't have a flat stomach or a thigh gap, I am 5'8" & a curvy hourglass size 14/16. To me this is not 'fat' because I come from a family where curvy women are considered beautiful but I am aware beauty is in the eye of the beholder. So if you prefer a Sophia Loren over a Kate Moss & we have similar interests then feel free to contact me

PLEASE DO NOT CONTACT ME IF YOU:
1. ARE BI OR BI CURIOUS. I AM LOOKING TO MEET A STRAIGHT MALE ONLY.
2. ARE RECRUITING FOR YOUR 'OPEN RELATIONSHIP'. I AM LOOKING TO MEET A SINGLE MALE WHO IS LOOKING TO ESTABLISH A MONOGAMOUS RELATIONSHIP.
3. HAVE ANY CHILDREN.
4. SMOKE OR GAMBLE.
5. ARE RELIGIOUS.
6. HAVE ANY SHIRTLESS PHOTOS OF YOURSELF IN YOUR PROFILE.
7. HAVE POOR SPELLING OR GRAMMAR.
8. USE THE TERM 'LOL' OR 'LMAO' OR ANY OTHER SUCH POP CULTURE ACRONYMS.
THANKS
What I’m doing with my life
Currently having some down time after a ridiculously crazy 3 years living out west & working in mining. I am currently doing a Cert 3, taking some music classes & doing some autodidactic study. This month (Feb 2015) I re-enter the real world aka get back to the daily grind of working 9-5 :S
I’m really good at
Learning & retaining facts quickly, conveying ideas concisely, standing up for the under dog, fighting for people's & environmental rights, singing & most visual art.
Favorite books, movies, shows, music, and food
Books: Some of my favourite authors are Jane Austen, The Bronte sisters, Charles Dickens, Oscar Wilde, William Shakespeare, George Orwell, Salman Rushdie, Leo Tolstoy, Mark Twain, Edgar Allen Poe & there are many, many more but if I listed them all it would go on forever.

Movies: Pulp Fiction, Snatch, The Little Mermaid & The Wedding Singer.

TV: Arrested Development, Black Adder Series, Big Love, Breaking Bad, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Flight of the Conchords, Frasier, Futurama, Last Week Tonight, Peep Show, Seinfeld, Old school Simpsons, Old school South Park, The Office UK & The Wonder Years

Music: I only listen to Triple J or 4ZZZ. I have a lot of musicians I like so this is just some of the top of the list. Aretha Franklin, Black Sabbath, Bruce Springsteen, Dolly Parton, Glen Miller, Led Zeppelin, Leonard Cohen, Neil Diamond, Neil Young, Pink Floyd, Prince, Ray Charles, The Who & Tina Turner

Food: My favourite foods are Turkish & Greek.
The six things I could never do without
1. Sunscreen & all other sun smart items (wide brimmed hat, sunglasses, parasol etc)
2. Antibacterial hand sanitiser
3. Music
4. Books
5. Fresh air
6. Hair heat protection, hair dryer & straightener

I would have put all the typical family, friends & pets answers but they are just a given & those answers have been done to death.
I spend a lot of time thinking about
Ethical philosophy, secular humanism, environmental issues, political issues, global women's rights issues just to name a few.
On a typical Friday night I am
Where ever my plans have taken me. Usually a Long Island Ice Tea or a Margarita is involved & some Sing Star/karaoke with my friends.
You should message me if
You are seriously looking to meet your future spouse & settle down. Below is what I am looking for.

I am looking for someone who is independent, loyal, responsible, domesticated & baggage free. Someone who has substantial life experience & knows who they are & what they want. Someone who has finished sewing their wild oats, has all their drunken, partying, bachelor days behind them & is now ready to be an adult & look to settling down.

Someone who is not under the control of their mother or their sister/s or insert some other family members title here. Someone who is not all about the boys & their bromances who is going to conveniently forget about the plans they made with me when ‘Johno’, or ‘M-dawg’ or insert some other inside joke nickname here calls.

I am looking for someone intelligent (this does not necessarily mean formally educated. Intelligence & formal education are not the same things), funny with a sharp wit, who is interested in the world around them past & present. Someone who is financially stable & responsible, who is out going, likes to socialise & who can carry on a lively discussion or debate regarding a range of topics. Someone who is down to earth, non materialistic & who is kind & caring, not only to other humans but also to animals. I have two dogs & a cat so I am looking for someone who likes cats & dogs equally. My cat also sleeps at the end of my bed & on my couch so you will have to be ok with that.

Waltzing Along posted:

Oh wow...96% match. My goodness, we have a ton in common. Our profiles are almost written for each other.

Sends polite message.
Next day she views your profile.
No response.

The Doo Do Chasers posted:

you sound pretty lonely, dude

Gaunab posted:

i think the lesson to take away from all of this is don't online date

Violet_Sky posted:

I got a message from a 34 year old man today. I'm 21.

Violet_Sky posted:

Unfortunately, he was neither hot or rich. He also said that I "looked like an angel" which must mean I look like a freak of nature. Thanks guy.

staberind posted:

I am 43, my girlfriend is 20,

toggle posted:

lets post more retardos

naem posted:

Have dick pics ever worked for any guy ever?

opus111 posted:

if you haven't hosed around with perspective when taking a dilz pic and sent it to your target of choice then idkwts

opus111 posted:

I never leave GBS. whether I'm queuing up at the bank, buying a pastry, framing a dick pick, it's always there on my iphone.

SaltLick posted:

It's always fun seeing someone again in public after you went on a date with and disappeared on.

Maybe she shouldnt have had a weird looking vagina stinky bum

naem posted:

Does this mean blotting her with a paper towel like ulillia and pizza

quote:

Before you message me, read this: http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-creepy-dating-site-messages-every-woman-has-received/
Don't be one of those guys.

I wrote this info about a year ago. My circumstances have changed a fair bit since then but I am leaving the below information as that's still true of who I am underneath. I've added some new updates in brackets, that info is up to date as of June 2014. I'm also perfectly fine to discuss my circumstances with you, all you have to do is ask. It's just fairly personal so I'd rather not post it here!


I'm in my late twenties (30 in April now, eek!
Still only feel about 23, so tend to go for men my age or younger. Won't rule out older men, but not too much older, usually. Only a couple of years), was in a long term relationship that I thought would end in marriage. Then I met someone else and fell head over heels in love with him. Sadly, although there was a lot of love there, the age difference proved insurmountable, and so we are now just good friends.

EDIT: I'm one of those awful people who cannot abide text speak, poor spelling or lack of grammar. Use of "2", "u" etc, is the fastest way to turn me off! I'm also not into anything sleazy, sorry.

I am not someone who can't be alone, I don't mind being single, but I do feel that at my age, I would like to start thinking about settling down. I don't meet too many new people, so thought I would give this a go.

Yes, I am a fatty. I know that will put a lot of people off. I am also smart and funny, and pretty easy going. Under the fat, I think I'm actually pretty good looking, and I am okay with who I am. I would like to lose weight for my health, but I don't have much will power. So if you think you'd like to help me, that'd be great, but don't do it thinking I will end up looking like a Barbie doll!
EDIT: I mention this because people have been really nasty to me about it on here. Not that I expect anything less on the Internet but if you describe yourself as a nice guy then I don't expect a barrage of insults just for saying hello! You could simply say Sorry, you're not my type. Anyway, mentioned it because I have copped it a bit so I'm a lot less likely to approach people now. If I favorite you, that means I'm interested. If you're not, then just ignore me. If you are then please say Hi!

I have eclectic tastes in music, punk, pop, rnb. I don't listen to it often though, usually I listen to audiobooks while I am driving. I love to read, just about anything. I am a big Harry Potter fan and I love anything by Stephen King (except his fantasy series, can't handle the Dark Tower stuff) or Marian Keyes. I also love biographies and anything funny. Adrian Mole, James Herriot, etc.

I also love TV - stuff like The Office, Community, Eureka, Just Shoot Me...

I am usually quite bright and bubbly. Some people might say I was kooky, but I don't like the image that brings up, of people being really into sporks, and being random. No, I just like jokes and bright colours.

(This is what I added in March. I've left it here so people know what I've been through. But keep reading and I've added a current update at the end which is a LOT more positive!)
(A couple of people have asked me about my circumstances at the moment, which I said above I wouldn't put here because it was personal. But if you've got this far, you deserve to know, even though it will probably scare everyone off. So here we go....

I have chemical depression. It runs in my family and I have managed it with medication for about ten years with no real problems. However last November I had what they call a major depressive episode (fancy name for a breakdown really). I'd been working admin in not for profit for years so had been very over worked and under paid and was getting pretty burnt out. Plus as my profile says, I had been studying and found it didn't work for me (psychology) so back to work. And I was having a hard time at work with my boss being awful to me. Then I went to New Zealand for a week and when I came back, I just didn't want to go in. So badly that it made me physically sick. But I went in, and my boss chewed me out for 2 hours because she had asked me to empty a desk drawer of mine before I left for the holidays and I had, but it was the tiniest (and I mean seriously tiny) bit dusty. We had cleaners at work so if she wanted the drawer wiped out, all she had to do was leave it open but instead she left it and yelled at me over it when I came back. Anyway there's a lot more story about stuff that happened with her that I can tell you later if you're interested. But I kind of lost it, started crying and got huge stress and anxiety and started having massive panic attacks at the thought of going in to work. So I quit and got another job.
This boss was an ***hole too (yes, I did consider that the problem was me, but having spoken to other staff, they confirmed that he really was an ***hole) and the anxiety got worse til eventually I couldn't go there either and I completely broke down.
Got referred to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with major depressive disorder and anxiety and got me on a variety of meds. I see her once a month, because each new med or new dosage level takes a month to kick in which is why several months later I am still not doing too well. So my psychiatrist is trying to get me on the right mix of meds plus I see a therapist once a week. I'm on sickness benefits so I'm not working or anything.
I have good days and bad days and annoyingly there's no way to predict when I will be good and when I won't. Some days I'm perfectly fine and other days I'm so down all I can do is cry or so anxious that I get all fidgety and hyperventilate and can't leave the house.
I know that's a HUGE drawback for anyone considering a relationship with me. I have a support network of friends and family that I turn to when I'm not doing well. And if I started anything up, I wouldn't be able to use that person as a support as it's way too much pressure to put on a new relationship. So I am realistic about that and have a plan to deal with it, which is, like I said, not using that person as a support at all.
But being realistic I also know this means a lot of people will think I'm just too much work and have too much baggage and I get that too. So if that's how you feel I totally understand and wouldn't blame you! I'd still like to make friends though so just let me know!)

Update June 2014:- my visits to the psychiatrist paid off, we found a medication that works for me and I am now doing better than I have since I was a teenager! I'm working full time, doing an art class and going to the gym. I'm saving to go to the USA in December and then I think I would like to go back to uni and work on building a career instead of just a job :-)

Darth123123 posted:

* can tell you more if you'd like

quote:

I am still trying to obtain a bf and for some reason men would stop contacting me for no reason.

Ninja Pangolin posted:

MALE SHOEGAZE posted:

haha everyone look at this disgusting person trying to be kinda fun in a selfie

nomadologique posted:

the reason her neck is all hosed up is all the muscular tension involved in pulling those dumb faces at that head/neck angle

nomadologique posted:

i mean yeah they're meant to be cute, but part of the cute is "look how kooky i am!!"

whatis posted:

lmao a reasonably attractive girl making a silly face in a picture lmao

hahahaha lmao

MALE SHOEGAZE posted:

itt goons in the ok cupid thread dont know what a girl looks like when her face muscles are tensed


maybe if ya'll had ever given a girl an orgasms you wouldnt be so confused