i'm hiring

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > i'm hiring

«‹›3 »

alnilam

Okay... *stares at my 5 page CV*

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:12

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 09:56

joke_explainer

my last two resumes I looked at, I googled their name, found obnoxious twitter accounts and links to the music they made that was really really bad. i didn't hire them

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:15

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

a separate page listing specific trainings and licenses for technical fields is acceptable

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:19

4outof5: Leader of the ULT Right.
Grabbing pussy since April 2, 1994

Bo-Pepper posted:

a separate page listing specific trainings and licenses for technical fields is acceptable

how is this?

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:19

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

you backed ogre you're fired

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:21

yoober

could you hire someone to manage my mental health

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:24

Wertjoe

Bo-Pepper posted:

you backed ogre you're fired

Whats wrong with ogre? It's very fun.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:39

GEExCEE

i think I would be perfect for this job. I assume that Bo needs me to stalk the streets of Gotham, with a sharp with an a quick draw, and *ahem* "manage" some of the "cases" that his Legitimate Business has there. It sounds like a pretty good deal to me as it is but I was really looking for somewhere where I could take a month off a year (still haven't been on honeymoon!) and I'm honestly not keen on having to buy my own trenchcoat and dark glasses.

# ? Feb 12, 2015 23:45

Miss Psychosis

Sure, hire me.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:28

FluffieDuckie

i'm overqualified for your position but i'll offset that by working half as much as everyone else. i'm going to need to work from home and i expect a hiring bonus, profit sharing, and a big fancy title.

and i can't start monday. i'll be free sept 2016.

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:29

Miss Psychosis

I can make tumblr posts and have access to four separate academic databases.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:29

joke_explainer

FluffieDuckie posted:

i'm overqualified for your position but i'll offset that by working half as much as everyone else. i'm going to need to work from home and i expect a hiring bonus, profit sharing, and a big fancy title.

and i can't start monday. i'll be free sept 2016.

profit sharing would probably be ok since I think bo-pepper works for a non-profit... can't share what you don't have right? ha ha ha...

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:31

joke_explainer

GEExCEE posted:

i think I would be perfect for this job. I assume that Bo needs me to stalk the streets of Gotham, with a sharp with an a quick draw, and *ahem* "manage" some of the "cases" that his Legitimate Business has there. It sounds like a pretty good deal to me as it is but I was really looking for somewhere where I could take a month off a year (still haven't been on honeymoon!) and I'm honestly not keen on having to buy my own trenchcoat and dark glasses.

if you want to become one of Bo-Pepper's thugs you've got to be willing to wear his thug costumes, which are suspenders, red shirt, big hat and a big fake beard

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:33

Miss Psychosis

Sample Post:

My Tumblr posted:

The patient exhibits possible signs of histrionic personality disorder compounded by severe impulse control issues, and its incredibly problematic.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:33

deep dish peat moss

If you can match my current offer of working from home and smoking weed all day, I'm your man.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:34

deep dish peat moss

You don't even have to pay me a lot; I live in Tempe, Az.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:34

Miss Psychosis

Reblog this post and I'll put both schizotypal males in ward three in the same room and youtube it. #TheGodDelusion

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:37

bog pixie

when i started college i was going for psychology but i immediately switched to physics, then art, religion in there somewhere, then programming, physics again, then education, printmaking (lol) then math. i ended on math so that's the degree i got. hire me.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 00:54

El Spider

Bo-Pepper posted:

someone please get me a case manager with a history of working with/having an interest in mental health that is willing to work for not a lot of money

i'd like to put forth the name of my associate, fart gently caress hell 5, for this position

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 01:00

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

Bo-Pepper posted:

a requirement of this and other jobs is to be where you say you will be and do what you say you will do in exchange for money

that's fuckuing bullshit

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 01:02

POWERBALL: by zen death robot

Pomp posted:

that's fuckuing bullshit

loving capitalists :jerkbag:

where's that foucault quote guy when you need him

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 01:11

Al Borland: by XyloJW

Bo-Pepper posted:

nobody respects the single page resume anymore why am i sifting through pages of useless info the whole world needs an editor

I always try and fit mine on a single page.

Also can I work from home?

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 01:41

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

Wertjoe posted:

Whats wrong with ogre? It's very fun.

maybe it is but it's part of the board gaming kickstarter explosion that is churning out a lot of garbage let me tell you what give me space hulk and keyflower and we'll call it even

# ? Feb 13, 2015 01:46

Al Borland: by XyloJW

so am I hired? I'll work from home and you'll never have to see or hear from me.

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:07

Wertjoe

Bo-Pepper posted:

maybe it is but it's part of the board gaming kickstarter explosion that is churning out a lot of garbage let me tell you what give me space hulk and keyflower and we'll call it even

Oh ok. I totally agree with you on kickstarter. I can start work on Monday.

# ? Feb 13, 2015 02:09

dogcrash truther

Bo-Pepper posted:

nobody respects the single page resume anymore why am i sifting through pages of useless info the whole world needs an editor

Amen. resumes these days are a loving joke

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:32

deep dish peat moss

I edited my friend's resume down to 1 page for him, then he said "hold on it just needs more details" and filled it back up to almost 4 pages full of big block paragraphs

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:35

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

literally everyone ever who gives resume advice tells you one page or no one will read it, what the gently caress's going on here

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:37

dogcrash truther

eight quidlings posted:

i'd like to put forth the name of my associate, fart gently caress hell 5, for this position

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:44

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

that's two references from people i trust looks like i found my man

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:49

fuck. marry. t-rex

Bo-Pepper posted:

that's two references from people i trust looks like i found my man

Thanks, just give me a few weeks to move to ny

# ? Feb 13, 2015 04:51

FluffieDuckie

well frankly i'm relieved that you decided you couldn't afford me and went with a less qualified candidate

that job might have cut into my posting time

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Feb 13, 2015 08:32

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

my site has a strict no pets policy fluffieduckie you would hate it

# ? Feb 13, 2015 12:46

E3 Keynote: eyyyyyyyyyy

Bo-Pepper posted:

someone please get me a case manager with a history of working with/having an interest in mental health that is willing to work for not a lot of money

will u post a thread about me when you find out im confrontational and a bad workr

# ? Feb 13, 2015 13:41

alnilam

Bo-Pepper posted:

my site has a strict no pets policy fluffieduckie you would hate it

Like your workers aren't even allowed to have pets at home that's messed

# ? Feb 13, 2015 16:10

google THIS

my wife has a master's in social work but doesn't want the job

# ? Feb 13, 2015 16:27

Bo-Pepper: Want some rye?
Course ya do!

she's probably overqualified and wants more money than i can offer i need someone who is qualified but not too qualified it is a small window of rightness

# ? Feb 13, 2015 16:28

pogi

Op i will send you my resume

# ? Feb 13, 2015 18:26

pogi

Im underqualified for the position but im a real go getter, i submit fluffieduckie and wd-40 as references

# ? Feb 13, 2015 18:29

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? May 15, 2024 09:56

dogdisaster: by Lowtax

keep hiring i'm reloading

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Feb 14, 2015 03:54

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > i'm hiring

«‹›3 »