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 quote:In the criminal justice system,  
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Feb 18, 2015 19:41
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 14:34 |
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"mornin', lou-9000, catch that psychoball game last lunar rotation?" "c'mon cyberrick, you know i stopped braincasting that signal after the giants 6.0 dropped the ball in the mars series game. shaddup and get down here." "sure. nasty piece of work, whadda we got?" "vic's a straight, white, male. dead from decapitation and stabbing." "good." "yeah. hail eternal obama." "hail eternal obama. let's go get some soylent." "you're paying, my bitcoins cratered this morning." Mr. Pumroy fucked around with this message at 19:56 on Feb 18, 2015 |
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Feb 18, 2015 19:53
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HE HACKED INTO MY GOOGLE GLASS *eliot stabler III beats the perp for cyber rape of a minor*
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Feb 18, 2015 19:54
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*interviews victim's psionic coworker while he loads a space-truck full of boxes with his mind*
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Feb 18, 2015 20:16
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"We've got good new and bad news... Good news is that we've got a hit on the DNA evidence, it's a match!" "Bad news?" "It's DNA from some AG78s clone-drones. We can't take them to trial, but ADM said they'll just recall the whole batch and mulch them into fertilizer and pay for the standard fine and restitution to the family..." "Hold off, who was the original DNA donor of that batch of AG78s?" "It's practically public domain DNA at this point, but ADM still owns the patents on all the modifications done to it." "I'm calling up Mars on my iCon. I want a virtual roundtable with the AI simulations of the cryogenically frozen heads of all the heads of ADM in one hour!"
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Feb 19, 2015 08:58
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"technological advances have allowed us to solve each case rapidly and with 100% accuracy" "yes, life is good."
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Feb 19, 2015 09:04
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"Your client should feel privileged, Councilor, to live in the year 2100. If this were just 80 or 90s years ago he might have gone to a prison for having 'disorderly' thoughts like those. Instead, he'll be treated to all the amenities and luxuries of a modern mental health care facility until such time his thoughts and private opinions are no longer a potential threat to himself or others."
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Feb 19, 2015 09:13
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"i'd like to report a rape" "rape isn't a crime ma'am, please leave"
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Feb 19, 2015 09:22
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"Someone has kidnapped my great-grandmother's antique Second Life avatar! You have to find them! YOU HAVE TO FIND THEM!" "You know, if the avatar dies, her property goes to her heirs. I think we need to look at their financials." "What is Second Life?" "It's a primitive precursor to things like the Oculus Estates and Retina Halls. It's old cyber-money, a bunch of weak-eyed, strong-fingered sorts." "It's also where dozens of virtual trillionaires set up retro vacation homes, settle this case, quick, before we get a phone call from His Honor xxXSSXGokuFuckAllDay69Xxx."
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Feb 19, 2015 09:39
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Ice-T-800
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Feb 19, 2015 10:13
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*Yells gently caress the police* *Gets vaporized*
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Feb 19, 2015 10:20
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Someone hacked the teledildonics mainframe and wiped out all of the animal profiles.
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Feb 19, 2015 10:28
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"I'm going to need to talk to the nanny" *Shambling ultra gorrilla wet nurse with several infants suckling has shifty eyes* "Breast feeding is a crime"
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Feb 19, 2015 10:31
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ripped from the holoticker: a teenager plays violent alterverses and winds up killing someone in real life cuz he cant tell the difference cuz the graphics are so real
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Feb 19, 2015 10:32
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We don't need you to confess you little poo poo We'll just download the data from your memory assist implant and see what really happened!
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Feb 19, 2015 10:49
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"He stole a sample of Mz. Jones' DNA to make a mindless clone that he could grow in a lab and gently caress at his pleasure." "Objection, your honor! My client RECOVERED genetic material that disposed of by his accuser in the form of a skin cells left on a water bottle they'd been drinking out of. Mz. Jones clearly gave up her ownership of said genetic material when she gave up the bottle!" "Is this true, Mr. MqKoi?" "Partially, your honor! The Defense is leaving out a critical piece of information that the bottle was disposed of in an approved city-managed recycling collection bin. Mz. Jones is NOT the victim, your honor. The City of New York IS the victim. The genetic material officially became state property the moment it went into that bin, along with the bottle. As such, the city is pursuing the case!" "Before you decide, your honor! Our position is that the bottle was only partially IN the bin, but the spout of the bottle remained OUTSIDE the bin at the time my client retrieved it for the sample from it. So, technically, at the point between Mz Jones 'abandoned' her DNA and my client took possession, the DNA itself never entered into the city's possession. The most that the city has my client on is the actual theft of an empty bottle, which the last time I looked fell under a misdemeanor. Worst case scenario, a Class 9 Improper Diversion of Recyclable Materials, which is at most a $100 fine..." JediTalentAgent fucked around with this message at 11:12 on Feb 19, 2015 |
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Feb 19, 2015 11:00
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A human has escaped from the human district and has built himself a robot costume to look like real robot. Gets caught in 6 hours because there are no toilets anywhere.
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Feb 19, 2015 11:29
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The Zagbargs fleem a grubnic, but the Gronts strug them. The Adjudicatrix assigns 100 metrons.
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Feb 19, 2015 17:08
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(To be performed on a makeshift stage set up within a deteriorated shopping mall from the Golden Age) Act I: A mutant shambler slays a purestrain human and escapes to his burrow. Act II: The village guards venture into the burrow with torches and machetes. They hack the beast to death. Act III: The beast's mate attacks the village in revenge, but is impaled on the punji spike trap set up by the village guard. The village guards are rewarded for their service with their choice of one of the chieftain's harem (to share).
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Feb 19, 2015 17:15
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A Kathy Griffin impersonator is murdered and investigators must dig deep into the dark world of impersonating D-List celebrities from 100 years ago
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Feb 19, 2015 21:18
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A hovering crystal is found dead on a moving sidewalk. The detectives try to backtrack the sidewalk's path to find out where the murder actually took place by walking against the motion of the conveyor, but become discouraged when the investigation seems to be going nowhere.
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Feb 19, 2015 21:32
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A flying car hits a jetpack pedestrian, causing him to plummet to his death. At first it seems like an accident, but an autopsy reveals that the victim actually died from laser wounds.
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Feb 19, 2015 21:34
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A Holographic American becomes the victim of a hate crime when someone paints over all of his holoemitters. The case gets too personal for the team's resident Hard Light construct: living anime character Officer Sakura Oppai-chan
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Feb 19, 2015 21:40
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Applewhite posted:A hovering crystal is found dead on a moving sidewalk. The detectives try to backtrack the sidewalk's path to find out where the murder actually took place by walking against the motion of the conveyor, but become discouraged when the investigation seems to be going nowhere. lol
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Feb 19, 2015 21:43
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"I need to speak with someone; i've been triggered online"
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Feb 19, 2015 21:53
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The city's weather dome malfunctions and starts striking random citizens with lightning. But are the strikes really random, or is it the work of a serial killer? Can the team solve the case before they themselves become the victims of malicious weather?
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Feb 19, 2015 21:54
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who's your favorite Law and Order 2100 detective, Lo-G-ANN-2 or Bri-I-SCO-4?
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Feb 19, 2015 21:55
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When an inner city white kid (Whites and Blacks have switched places by 2100, thanks Obama) is murdered by police officers, only the L&O team has the courage to stand up for minority rights.
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Feb 19, 2015 21:57
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Pope Guilty posted:who's your favorite Law and Order 2100 detective, Lo-G-ANN-2 or Bri-I-SCO-4? Sta-81ER
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Feb 19, 2015 21:58
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pretend I posted that utterly fantastic gif with aatrek from minority report
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Feb 19, 2015 22:00
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When a woman comes into a hospital with a newly attacked penis, detectives have to find out who the mysterious person is that is killing men and attaching their penises to women
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Feb 19, 2015 22:00
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Stabler-Tron 5000 beats a witness to death because he believes the witness is withholding information. Stabler-Tron 5000 is disgusted at the corrupt bureaucracy for suspending him for the violent death of one mere witness when JUSTICE is the goal.
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Feb 19, 2015 22:01
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"And why'd you shoot him Bill? Because he's black!" *gesturing to the whole courtroom* "Because over 100 years after the Civil Rights Movement we still can't get over race in America!" *judge slams light gavel repeatedly*
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Feb 19, 2015 22:18
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"This murder is beep-boop beep problematic"
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Feb 19, 2015 22:31
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Mr. Pumroy posted:"mornin', lou-9000, catch that psychoball game last lunar rotation?" Lmao you nailed it brother goddamn
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Feb 19, 2015 22:37
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"What do we got?" "Brad Ellesmere. Trityrion miner - second class. Just dropped in from Titan two weeks ago. By the looks of things somebody got the drop on him too." "Nasty looking cut he's got there" "Lasceration to the neck. Industrial laser by the looks of it. You can tell by the burn marks and the extent of cauterization. It's a clean kill." "Less of a mess?" "You got it. No blood. No clean up. If you're a in jump suit you don't have to worry about fingerprints either." "Somebody did their homework." "It wasn't a crime of passion that's for sure. Except... what's this?" "Looks like hair? A woman's?" "Judging by the colour and length we're talking one of the Neptunian girls." "Somebody must have been in the room with him. I want all the street walkers in this sector lined up and see what they know. Check their backgrounds and see if any of them have any mining experience other than gold digging."
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Feb 19, 2015 22:52
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The team is investigating a string of brutal murders, but when the clues point to the perpetrator being a member of the Leadership Caste, the team is torn between their genetically hardwired devotion to justice and the fact that the Leadership Caste is considered infallible by law. E: it turns out that a member of the labor castes was the perpetrator. The Law and Order team's faith in the Leadership Caste is reaffirmed, as should be yours. Applewhite fucked around with this message at 22:57 on Feb 19, 2015 |
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Feb 19, 2015 22:54
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INT POLICE STATION DAY Mariska Hargitay enters the room ROOKIE DETECTIVE: drat she is still ridiculously hot here in the year 2100.
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Feb 19, 2015 22:56
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Someone is murdering blue crystals. It turns out it was the red crystal from the beginning of the episode.
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Feb 19, 2015 22:58
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 14:34 |
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A griefer is arrested for disrupting the common virtusphere and his account is suspended for 1000 cycles. When the griefing attacks keep happening, the team must determine if the original griefer found a way to circumvent his suspension, or if it's the work of a copycat.
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Feb 19, 2015 23:02
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