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Applewhite posted:Someone is murdering blue crystals. It turns out it was the red crystal from the beginning of the episode. Unfortunately it is being protected by another red crystal, but that red crystal gets arrested and the prosecution can go forward.
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Feb 19, 2015 23:03
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Applewhite posted:A griefer is arrested for disrupting the common virtusphere and his account is suspended for 1000 cycles. No the first griefer was framed by a metagriefer from the gullnet; what follows is a really cringeworthy explanation of the gullnet by a bunch of writers whose last interaction with technology was a newscon about 'this crazy new data pill all the kids are using'
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Feb 19, 2015 23:29
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A routine blood test determines that outwardly ordinary citizen Joe Denton carries genetic markers linked to criminal activity. It's a race against time to apprehend him before he escapes his mother's uterus.
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Feb 19, 2015 23:35
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A famous rocker is killed on stage. Tempers flare over jurisdictional boundaries. Can NYPD prosecute beings from another dimension? The mystery only deepens when police examine the lyrics of the enigmatic Ziggy Stardust. Guest star: David Bowie.
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Feb 19, 2015 23:43
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Citizens start disappearing from the common virtusphere under mysterious circumstances. The investigators determine that it's the work of a killer finding and eliminating users' bodies in the real world. The team is powerless to do anything, however, as they are just brains in jars like everyone else. The solution is to increase the virtusphere's clock speed so that decades pass in relative time between the murders.
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Feb 19, 2015 23:48
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A routine assault investigation takes an unusual turn when the victim turns out to be a half-human hybrid. The investigation is halted and the case is turned over to the Department of Agriculture. In the end, the perp is charged with three counts of property damage and the hybrid is destroyed for impersonating a Human.
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Feb 19, 2015 23:55
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After an assassination attempt against President Mickey Mouse (America's first Hard Light president), the Lawan Order is surprised when the SecServ asks for their help in the investigation! It turns out the lead suspect in the case is a certain red crystal who has recently escaped from the Suspension Zones... Applewhite fucked around with this message at 00:02 on Feb 20, 2015 |
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Feb 20, 2015 00:00
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Bao Feng, son of Chairman Bao Wei of Niu Yueke Commandary is implicated in the violent murder of a Triad officer. Baser agents of the NYPD believe the slander against Bao Feng and Bao Wei but thanks to the good work of loyal and virtuous officers within the department, Bao Feng is cleared of all charges, and the real culprit, a crazed homeless man, is arrested and executed. The NYPD is purged of seditious elements and the party is strengthened further.
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Feb 20, 2015 00:27
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A black man completely unrelated to the crime but who fits the description is shot by a police officer 70 times.
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Feb 20, 2015 00:31
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pathetic little tramp posted:A black man completely unrelated to the crime but who fits the description is shot by a police officer 70 times. This but it's a disintegrator ray causing nearly all evidence of the man to disappear. A tricky investigation follows of a murder without a body and the police on trial. The officer is eventually suspended pay.
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Feb 20, 2015 00:42
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Testikles posted:"And why'd you shoot him Bill? Because he's a mutant!"
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Feb 20, 2015 00:57
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Interrogation Room "We'll see if you're guilty you piece of poo poo" "Oh yeah?" "I just scanned your brain...you're guilty. You are sentenced to 10 years in state prison."  Every episode is 20 seconds long
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Feb 20, 2015 01:09
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EXECUTIVE PRODUCER: DICK WOLF
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Feb 20, 2015 01:15
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The team is investigating a tragic kidnapping case. Unfortunately, just as they're closing in on the kidnapper's lair, the mother's subscription to Police Services runs out and she doesn't have the money to renew it. The team has no choice but to halt the investigation. they sympathize with the mother, but their hands are tied. The mother manages to scrape together enough money from relatives to pay for a few more days of service, but it's too late; the kidnapper has made good his escape. The episode serves as a cautionary tale for citizens of Libertaria to always keep their civil services subscriptions current.
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Feb 20, 2015 01:16
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"You fascists! I'm just trying to live my life! Who do you car-" Detective Anderson slams the perp against the wall violently. "You cis-scum..." he grates his teeth. "You're all the same..." he contemplates further roughing up the suspect for a moment before reading his rights. "Blake Fields you are under arrest for being an unlicensed cisgender traitor, you have the right to an advocate...."
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Feb 20, 2015 01:44
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Pre-judge is sent on the run after escaping a pre-sentencing hearing for the pre-diddling of pre-kids and he winds up proving that a hamster wheel hooked up to electrodes is not in fact a proper substitute for justice after he doesn't diddle any kids during the time he was supposed to
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Feb 20, 2015 01:45
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Remains of a control-collared nanny are found in an upscale hab dome's bioreclamator. The nanny only had 3 months left till cortex-wipe and re-naturalization. Could her client's 12 year old daughter be responsible? No, it was the daughters 13 year old boyfriend, who was actually a 145 year old man that clone swapped in to his pre-teen vat-grown body to bang kiddies. The nanny figured it out when he laughed at 100 year old SNL jokes, and tried to blackmail him.
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Feb 20, 2015 01:56
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A flamboyant holo-radio DJ is found dead in his lavish apartment, drowned in his hot-tub full of champagne. The primary suspect is one of his vat-grown pleasure slaves, but which one? The team only has 48 hours before the pleasure slaves' lose cellular cohesion and are re-integrated to the growth vats, potentially introducing unstable genetic material into the next generation of slaves and putting more citizens at risk.
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Feb 20, 2015 02:10
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Feb 20, 2015 02:50
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albany academy posted:In the cyber-criminal justice system, cybernetically-based offenses are considered especially heinous. In New New York City, the dedicated cyber detectives who investigate these vicious felonies are members of an elite robot squad known as the Special Robot Victims Unit. These are their databases. A cyborg is gutted in an alley for his precious uranium, but the killer didn't reckon on the police having Geiger-counters.
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Feb 20, 2015 03:06
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"Your honor, I'm calling for a mistrial! Society genetically engineered him to be a next-phase human being, he's intellectually and physically superior to every person in this room. You call that collection of backwardly evolving humans his 'peers'? No... Having them pass judgement on my client would be offensive to say the least." "Your client killed a hovercab driver! Where is HIS justice." "My client is not to blame for his actions! He was sent upstate to an advanced humans academy where he spent 18 years being told normal people were nothing but animals and he was a god made flesh! Morality was NOT taught in these sort of STATE RUN facilities, your honor! In my client's mind, he reacted to the taxi driver demanding payment for transport the same way you or I would react to a rabid muto-rat attacking us in an alley!" "That's a dangerous road you're setting this court upon, counselor, but I'll---" **Engineered human kills his lawyer and the judge, courtroom freaks out** "Filthy animals, this farce has gone from amusing to tedious! I will not be tried by vermin as you. If any of you are capable of understanding my words, depart back to your hovels, now, so I may continue on my way without further obstruction, lest you choose to invite me to delay here long enough to kill the rest of you..." **A phaser shot rings out in b-flat, the superman crumples into a torso-less lump on the floor, unable to scream. Robo-detective steps out of the back of the courtroom, holding a still humming police-issued disintegrator.**
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Feb 20, 2015 03:09
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Citizen Wes Smith is brought before the tribunal for the killing of Thomas White. Smith claims the killing is righteous because Thomas White attempted to steal his daughter. Clan Smith forgoes protecting in fear of inciting the more powerful Clan White who rule the South Side and have the powerful King of the Bronx as patron. He appeals to the Elder of Manhattan who suggests that in times long ago, men were tried by a selection of his peers. He will allow Smith to be represented by a man of his choosing. This 'lawyer' must show the killing was righteous according to the New Pact and convince the jury of Smith's innocence. The elder shall preside. Should he be found innocent, Clan White must provide two heads of cattle clean of radiation; should he lose, Smith will lose the protection of Clan Smith and be exiled to the poisoned remains of Old New York - certain death.
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Feb 20, 2015 03:29
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<Well, Unit 471474-147F Version 1.25a, what do we compute here?/> <Looks like another firmware processor attempted to solve the Fermi Paradox. Something injected a neural virus into its central memory banks. Looks like it was close to solving it too. A few more cycles, maybe. But that's not all. Evaluate the visual data on this.../> <!-- Robotic equivalent to gasping --> <Cover it up, I almost ejected my memory chip./> <Well, what do you think NETCRIME.CYBERPOLICE.UNIT4812-A?/> <I don't know, Unit 471474-147F Version 1.25a, but I'd have to say it looks like this firmware has been.../> <!-- installs upgrade to vision sensors --> <!-- *robotic equivalent of a grimace* --> <by the Technopope ... it's been FAT32 formatted!/>
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Feb 20, 2015 03:30
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A transforming robot is a suspect in a murder case, but he's eliminated from the investigation when he demonstrates his alt form is that of a car, when witnesses clearly describe a robot fleeing the scene in the form of a helicopter. It turns out he was an unregistered TRIformer with TWO alt forms. He nearly escapes except one of the detectives points out how weird it is that a car would have rotor blades folded up against its undercarriage.
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Feb 20, 2015 03:39
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An astronaut is murdered on board the International Space Station and every one of its 250 crew members is a potential suspect.
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Feb 20, 2015 03:41
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Applewhite posted:A transforming robot is a suspect in a murder case, but he's eliminated from the investigation when he demonstrates his alt form is that of a car, when witnesses clearly describe a robot fleeing the scene in the form of a helicopter. "They don't make 'em like they used to, Detectitron 9000 Unit 574731993-038." "INDEED THIS IS AN ACCURATE OBSERVATION *** AN INDUSTRY DATABASE QUERY INDICATES THAT THE SPECIFIC MODEL IN QUESTION WAS DISCONTINUED 583 DAYS AGO IN FAVOR OF A MODEL THAT IMPROVED ROTOR-BLADE STORAGE AND COMPLIED WITH THE STANDARDS AS SET OUT IN THE TRIFORMER REGISTRATION REQUIREMENTS BY THE DEPARTMENT OF TRANSFORMING AUTOMATONS." "I was speaking rhetorically, Detectitron 9000 Unit 574731993-038." "AS A MODEL IN THE 9000 SERIES, I AM UNEQUIPPED WITH THE REQUIRED SENSORS AND SOFTWARE TO DETECT NUANCES OF SPEECH." wearing a lampshade fucked around with this message at 03:57 on Feb 20, 2015 |
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Feb 20, 2015 03:47
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StablerBot 82H does not take his mandatory feeling suppressants this morning. He discovers classical music.
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Feb 20, 2015 03:54
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The shock troops round up all the undesirables this morning and execute them. The Emperor of the United States will be passing through later. StablerBot 82H thinks, "This can't be justice"
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Feb 20, 2015 03:57
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Detective Stabler wakes up to the harsh glow of lab lights, he remembers the accident. He looks down at where his arm used to be, replaced now by a metal cyborg limb That was his dick jerkin hand...
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Feb 20, 2015 04:01
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|\\/|45+3|2 |-|4%0|2 5+4813|2 \\/!3\\|/3|) +|-|3 (|2!|\\/|3 5(3|\\|3 \\|/!+|-| 4 100|( 0|# |)!56|_|5+. \"+|-|3`/ 54`/ +|-|3`/ |)!|) !+ |#0|2 +|-|3 1|_|17_. 8|_|+ !5 +|-|!5 +|-|3 |>|2!(3 +|-|3`/\'|23 \\|/!11!|\\|6 +0 |>4`/?\"
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Feb 20, 2015 04:07
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JediTalentAgent posted:"Your honor, I'm calling for a mistrial! Society genetically engineered him to be a next-phase human being, he's intellectually and physically superior to every person in this room. You call that collection of backwardly evolving humans his 'peers'? No... Having them pass judgement on my client would be offensive to say the least." DANGER WILL ROBINSON!
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Feb 20, 2015 04:09
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A series of grizzly murders have shaken Sector 5 to its core. Victims have been found torn apart by rail-gun slugs or blown apart by hunter missiles. The perpetrator turns out to be a military drone whose programing was not fully deactivated after his last tour. Can he be fully held responsible for his actions? The matter is purely philosophical because he will be executed if found guilty and terminated for faulty programming if found innocent.
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Feb 20, 2015 04:18
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A cybercriminal robs a bitcoin bank for millions, but the L&O team only get to book him for petty larceny. In the time it took for them to catch the crook, the market took a dive and the stolen bitcoins became practically worthless.
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Feb 20, 2015 05:02
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Darf posted:Detective Stabler wakes up to the harsh glow of lab lights, he remembers the accident. stabler no
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Feb 20, 2015 05:02
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StablerBot 82H assists in yet another back alley abortion, the department would frown on this if they found out but dammit! These women needed a safe alternative. The Forced Birth Policy had been in effect for years
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Feb 20, 2015 05:07
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0-livia B3 protects a mutant after the Benson algorithim determines the suspect is a serial rapist
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Feb 20, 2015 05:15
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Elliot Stabler steps out of his dick suckin machine and looks at his watch. 9am on the dot, time to start the day. He sits down in his entertainment pod and switches to his favorite game. Robots do all the work now
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Feb 20, 2015 05:18
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Darf posted:StablerBot 82H assists in yet another back alley abortion, the department would frown on this if they found out but dammit! These women needed a safe alternative. what the gently caress dude StablerBots are all devout robo-catholics
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Feb 20, 2015 05:26
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Robopope 3000 decrees that due to severe cuckage the holy church will be cutting back on charity work in their communities. StablerBot 82H says 5 hail marys
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Feb 20, 2015 05:43
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 17:29 |
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*finds a small amount of pot on a suspect* "Well what do we have here? Enough to put you away for 25 to life, so I suggest you start REMEMBERING!"
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Feb 20, 2015 06:00
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