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"Word on the street is that there is some troll punks making rapebots down on 43rd."
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Feb 20, 2015 06:02
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StablerBot 82H executes a civilian named Jerry. Data predictors indicated there was a 98.9% chance that civilian would commit homicide at some point in the next few days The department was stretched too thin to put tails on all possible suspects, better to judge them now and let God sort them out Ice-T just can't believe it
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Feb 20, 2015 06:07
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In a very special episode, Mmh'unNch uses his mutant telepathy to help suicidal cyborg-soldiers. Cragen's head-in-a-jar stares at an unopened bottle of whiskey.
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Feb 20, 2015 07:22
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"My god, no wonder we couldn't find anything! The killer is putting their victims brains through a Jpeg compression algorithm! It has to be at least a century old."
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Feb 20, 2015 10:15
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Nelson Mandingo posted:"You fascists! I'm just trying to live my life! Who do you car-" I wanna know where I can apply for a license to be a cis-gender traitor.
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Feb 20, 2015 11:36
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albany academy posted:01001001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01111001 01100010 01100101 01110010 00101101 01100011 01110010 01101001 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01110011 01111001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01101101 00101100 00100000 01100011 01111001 01100010 01100101 01110010 01101110 01100101 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00101101 01100010 01100001 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 01100101 01101110 01110011 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01110011 01101001 01100100 01100101 01110010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100101 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101001 01101110 01101111 01110101 01110011 00101110 00100000 01001001 01101110 00100000 01001110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01001110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110010 01101011 00100000 01000011 01101001 01110100 01111001 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100100 01101001 01100011 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100011 01111001 01100010 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110110 01100101 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100111 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110110 01101001 01100011 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 00100000 01100110 01100101 01101100 01101111 01101110 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 01101101 01100010 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101100 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110011 01110001 01110101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010011 01110000 01100101 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01010010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00100000 01010110 01101001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101101 01110011 00100000 01010101 01101110 01101001 01110100 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101001 01110010 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110100 01100001 01100010 01100001 01110011 01100101 01110011 00101110 Nice.
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Feb 20, 2015 12:13
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"The only picture we have of this robo perp is a tiny, grainy photo caught from a passersby's vintage camera." "Put it through the Apple CSI Machine, the Photo Enlargement tool built to spec based on ancient historical documents CSI, CSI Miami, and CSI New York." "Yes, Apple makes such wonderful tools for humanity, don't they?" "Correct, iStabler. Why, my brain is currently downloading the new Taylor Swift IV album - it has a duet with Hank Williams XXI!"
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Feb 20, 2015 14:12
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StablerBot and the crew grab hot cups of motor oil after their shift High fives are exchanged
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Feb 20, 2015 14:57
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A prominent member of the computer council is accused of sexually abusing the childlike robot that carries him around on its chest. The robot is so traumatized by the abuse that it can only stutter "beedeebeedeebeedee."
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Feb 20, 2015 15:10
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Everything people think do or say is determined by the pills they take in the morning. Someone is distributing pills that make people commit murder. Can the Law and Order team find the right combination of pills to take that will let them catch the perpetrator?
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Feb 20, 2015 15:38
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A prominent sprocket magnate is found dead in his office. Was his murder the work of the disgruntled employee who had been promoted to vice president the day before getting fired?
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Feb 20, 2015 15:43
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In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. In the future, intellectual property law infringement will receive similar dedicated attention by the detectives of Special Victims Download Patrol. Law & Order SVDP Intense-O-Tron: Looks like whoever was here left in a hurry. They didn't even have time to trash their servers or interface rig. *gleaming metal hook fiddles with bits of technology hilariously ten years out-of-date* Drew: With your cybernetic powers, can you figure out whether they were illegally downloading or virtually-raping? I-O-T: *grimaces* I'll try. *plugs own firewire cord into arbitrary hole* Sweet Lord Dawkins! Looks at this. *random strings of ACGT are displayed* Our perp was trying to combine their genetics with someone else's leaked personal information. They probably bought it from a hacker terrorist cell. *types on an ergonomic keyboard* Looks like they were successful. But this gene-code could belong to any of the trillion humans alive. Or any of the quadrillion who ever lived. Drew: *squinting at a dot-matrix printout* This looks familiar. Literally familiar. I-O-T: This is bad, Drew. Looks like the target could have been your grandmother. And if we're right and they succeeded, then that means... Drew: Yes. I'm a product of rape now. Theme song and intro credits begin.
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Feb 20, 2015 16:04
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A golden orb with four legs gets into an altercation with a hovering blue crystal in their shared apartment. There is a scuffle and the next thing we see, the orb is thrown from a 302nd story window. It strikes several hovercars on the way down before finally smashing on the skyway a hundred floors below. The blue crystal is taken into custody, but it insists that it's innocent. What really happened in that apartment?
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Feb 20, 2015 16:18
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Intense-O-Tron: *harshly modulated voice* Tell me why you did it, scum! That Radioshack had your RFID tags all over. I could haul you in right now. You'll be in all weekend, peak raid times. Talk! *gently shoves suspect* young suspect: Bolt your speaker, clanker! Nothing not nohow gonna scrape a slorgg like that. I-O-T: The laws of robotics prevent me from intentionally harming you, despite the chief's repeated encouragements to the contrary. I suspect an error in their programming. But now you must talk or I will dial it up a notch. *leans in closer* young suspect: 'm never gonna sing. Straight screescraw fiszzlesticks raised underside, y'digg? loving clanker. *spits glowing energy drink* I-O-T: Oh, think your flesh is tough? What's this I have here? Looks like a UFace photograph of you with a puppy. Streetcams indicate your dog died before reaching one year of age. You should have obeyed the civil leash laws. young suspect: Back off, man. Jimmer-jazz can't prove- I-O-T: And what's this here? This looks like a poem you posted on Blogspace about your grandmother after she passed away. Perhaps I should read it in a selection of silly vocal modulations? young suspect: Stop it, just stop. *starts shaking head, visibly upset* I-O-T: Hang on. There, I have finished buffering. Let me play back grainy footage from your pet's demise. I will play the driver just continuing along in slow-motion for you. young suspect: Enough man, you infernal machine! I don't wanna see this. I-O-T: *close up of retreating car bumper. An REM song begins playing over the video loop* https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S2N_uvnvGbI young suspect: Stop it, enough. I'll talk. I-O-T: *error noise* Please download the latest Macromedia plugin to record this conversation.
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Feb 20, 2015 16:25
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Great thread, 101'd
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Feb 20, 2015 16:56
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A dog is lazily pursuing its own interests, sniffing an overturned trashcan. Immediately a robo-dactyl swoops down and carries the dog off into the sky in its inescapable claws. As it grows smaller in the distance there is a completely superfluous red-tailed hawk call. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=33DWqRyAAUw The dog is deposited in canine holding cell of sector 11 animal control. The roof folds back shut and the dog is in near-darkness, save for some LED indicators. Close-up of the lights reflected in the dog's eyes. The futuristic DA is wearing clothes made of translucent bubbles. She approaches the bench. DA: Your Honor, the suspect was found to have a radio frequency identification matching those obtained following the break-in. We believe he's covering for someone, we just need a warrant to search his coffin motel. Judge: *barks repeatedly* DA: Thank you. *she leaves the chambers* The judge stamps a pawprint on some cyber-warrant. When the judge attempts to fax it through to the SVDP the machine starts to snag on a slobbery, chewed up end of the document. Judge: *barks. growls at fax machine* Bailiff: Settle down, Your Honor. *the bailiff turns the judge over for tummy-rubs* Judge: Woof! *the judge quickly rolls back over, escaping both the bailiff and robes. we see the end of a dog disappearing into an air duct* Bailiff: No! Not again! Bad judge!
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Feb 20, 2015 17:21
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A giant scorpion is murdered and the team must convince the tight knit giant scorpion community to cooperate with the investigation if they are to have any hope of solving the case.
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Feb 20, 2015 17:45
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Mr. Popo posted:I wanna know where I can apply for a license to be a cis-gender traitor. The DMV like every other cis-scum.
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Feb 20, 2015 17:49
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Can we do other 90's procedurals? CSI: Nueva Miami. (Original Miami is underwater, Nueva Miami is in what is currently the Georgia mountains.) "Looks like this transblack genderfluid furry... *takes off sunglasses* just got... OH gently caress MY EYES ARE MELTING OUT IN THE POSTAPOCALYPTIC MIAMI SUN WHY DID I TAKE OFF MY SUNGLASSES" NCIS is still airing in its hundred-and-nth season. The US Navy has abolished shore leave because of the ludicrous murder rate. NCIS is still around just so the CIA can pawn off the missions it thinks are too lame or stupid to be worth their time.
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Feb 20, 2015 17:50
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Applewhite posted:A prominent member of the computer council is accused of sexually abusing the childlike robot that carries him around on its chest. I am innocent! 
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Feb 20, 2015 18:22
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Two cyber black kids are playing with a laser ball in Central Hoverpark. The laser ball glitches out and rolls into a cluster of pixel trees. One of the cyber black kids goes to retrieve it with his drone and discovers the dead body of a hyperspace jogger. Fade to #000000 and 
Fake James fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Feb 20, 2015 |
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Feb 20, 2015 18:23
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Investigator Model# 01ivi4 83NS0N finds a deceased [HUMAN FEMALE] in the sub-basement of a Mega-City 1 (MG1) people-mover terminal. 01ivi4's visual sensors are immediately uploaded to the MG1 PD and runs a DNA/FaceTumblrGram search to identify the body. [HUMAN FEMALE] is ID'd as one Apple-Zeta Miriam Rockefeller-Kennedy, the grandclone of the ubiquitous biosynthetic manufacturer plastered on every IXAT and New Madison Ave storefront. 01ivi4's makes a garbled sigh, "The victim has been desanguinated and all harvestable organs have been removed. drat blood junkies." A gruff voice comes in from behind the detective: it is Holo-Stabler, "But was she dead before they pilfered her? Look at the lacerations around her Global Consumer Chip. I don't see any signs of clotting or healing." 01ivi4 peers closer and sees that Holo-Stabler is correct. "If the junkers didn't kill her, then who did?" Suddenly a pair of hover drones with the distinct markings of the Federal Bureau of Anti-Corporate Terrorism (FB-ACT) hover over the two police officers, blaring the standard warning: "This investigation is now under FB-ACT jurisdiction. Your cooperation is appreciated. All trespassers will be recycled." Holo-Stabler attempts to throw a New Coke bottle at the drones but his intangible hand cannot grip the object. "loving Feds! You can't get within a micrometer of a [HUMAN] without setting off some CEnatOr. I bet ADA McCoy tells us to back off this one too!" 01ivi4 attempts to calm down Holo-Stabler, "Hey, at least she wasn't raped before she was desanguinated. At least she died with dignity." Holo-Stabler squats down and stares at the hollowed out orbits of Apple-Zeta: "Yeah, try telling that to her clone mother."
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Feb 20, 2015 18:51
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Applewhite posted:A flamboyant holo-radio DJ is found dead in his lavish apartment, drowned in his hot-tub full of champagne. The primary suspect is one of his vat-grown pleasure slaves, but which one? The team only has 48 hours before the pleasure slaves' lose cellular cohesion and are re-integrated to the growth vats, potentially introducing unstable genetic material into the next generation of slaves and putting more citizens at risk. You know after the Dr who thread my brother told me about this thread and quoted this and I guessed it was you straight away. So congrats I guess?
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Feb 20, 2015 20:51
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A hacker uses three keyboards at once
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Feb 20, 2015 20:58
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Kitchner posted:You know after the Dr who thread my brother told me about this thread and quoted this and I guessed it was you straight away. I'll spend my entire goon career trying to step out of the shadow of my Dr. Who thread. I succeed, but only because I become better known for my bizarre and entirely terrible experimental work.
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Feb 20, 2015 20:59
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Improbable Lobster posted:A hacker uses three keyboards at once 5
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Feb 20, 2015 21:10
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beedeebee posted:I am innocent! SERVERS KNEW
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Feb 20, 2015 21:10
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A case turns sour when what should have been a standard groping arrest becomes a discussion on the nature of sexual harrasment when a Non-euclidian creature is accused of touching woman with a limb that exists in another plane of existence.
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Feb 20, 2015 21:24
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A house call turns deadly when a Pleasure Construct from Government Bio-Factory 7 is killed by the jealous husband of Senatori #7. Also, old tempers flair as Stabler and Munch's sordid affair comes to light.
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Feb 20, 2015 21:34
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"Can you believe it's the year 2100 and two men STILL can't get married?"
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Feb 20, 2015 22:04
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"I want my cyber-lawyer!" "Great Zounds, we'll never get a confession out of him now!" And then Robo-Jerry Orbach reveals to the guilty guy that he can speak the language of Planet Zog-5Q, meaning he heard what secret confession the guy was telling the cyber-lawyer.
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Feb 20, 2015 22:05
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albany academy posted:01001001 01101110 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100011 01111001 01100010 01100101 01110010 00101101 01100011 01110010 01101001 01101101 01101001 01101110 01100001 01101100 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100101 00100000 01110011 01111001 01110011 01110100 01100101 01101101 00101100 00100000 01100011 01111001 01100010 01100101 01110010 01101110 01100101 01110100 01101001 01100011 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00101101 01100010 01100001 01110011 01100101 01100100 00100000 01101111 01100110 01100110 01100101 01101110 01110011 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01100011 01101111 01101110 01110011 01101001 01100100 01100101 01110010 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100101 01110011 01110000 01100101 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 01101100 01111001 00100000 01101000 01100101 01101001 01101110 01101111 01110101 01110011 00101110 00100000 01001001 01101110 00100000 01001110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01001110 01100101 01110111 00100000 01011001 01101111 01110010 01101011 00100000 01000011 01101001 01110100 01111001 00101100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01100100 01100101 01100100 01101001 01100011 01100001 01110100 01100101 01100100 00100000 01100011 01111001 01100010 01100101 01110010 00100000 01100100 01100101 01110100 01100101 01100011 01110100 01101001 01110110 01100101 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101000 01101111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110110 01100101 01110011 01110100 01101001 01100111 01100001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110110 01101001 01100011 01101001 01101111 01110101 01110011 00100000 01100110 01100101 01101100 01101111 01101110 01101001 01100101 01110011 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01101101 01100101 01101101 01100010 01100101 01110010 01110011 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100101 01101100 01101001 01110100 01100101 00100000 01110010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00100000 01110011 01110001 01110101 01100001 01100100 00100000 01101011 01101110 01101111 01110111 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110011 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01010011 01110000 01100101 01100011 01101001 01100001 01101100 00100000 01010010 01101111 01100010 01101111 01110100 00100000 01010110 01101001 01100011 01110100 01101001 01101101 01110011 00100000 01010101 01101110 01101001 01110100 00101110 00100000 01010100 01101000 01100101 01110011 01100101 00100000 01100001 01110010 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 01101001 01110010 00100000 01100100 01100001 01110100 01100001 01100010 01100001 01110011 01100101 01110011 00101110 
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Feb 20, 2015 22:38
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A presumed-dead Army Special Forces lieutenant is caught very much alive by the US Police Force robbing the Federal Reserve Bank at Denver. His partner is killed while escaping. What would drive the decorated veteran, winner of two Purple Hearts, and the youngest soldier to be decorated by the U.S. President for bravery during campaigns in Leningrad and Siberia in World War III against the novo-USSR, to turn to a life of crime? Will Commissioner Hauk get his wish and see the man sentenced to life in the New York Maximum Security Prison?
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Feb 20, 2015 23:00
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I have completed a trailer for future law and order and got christopher walken to star in it for us with burgess meredith and that dyno mite guy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYbAWZ8yPks&t=38s
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Feb 20, 2015 23:04
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The San Francisco homicide team gets more than they bargained for when a victim turns out to be a technosavage from the Arizona Wastes, and clues point to a Chinese-sponsored technosavage attack on the main Indian embassy in the Pacific States of America. But is this just more Cold War 2 jockeying between the two superpowers, trying to lessen India's influence on the PSA for China's advantage? Or an attempt to set off World War 4?
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Feb 20, 2015 23:11
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The year is 2100, the world is very different. Someone stickied a thread that was of medium funny. Now that crime is obsolete, it's up to the obsolete Special Victims Unit to get to the bottom of this. Starring Ice-T.
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Feb 21, 2015 02:19
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"What do you mean we can't e-arrest that cybernetic dragon, Robojudge?" "You know as well as I do he's the ambassador to Malatora, Detectotron. He has iDiplomatic immunity."
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Feb 21, 2015 03:04
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Ramc posted:"What do you mean we can't e-arrest that cybernetic dragon, Robojudge?" The DA must try him in a deadly virtual reality courtroom - where XE MAKES THE RULES.
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Feb 21, 2015 04:27
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Murderion posted:The DA must try him in a deadly virtual reality courtroom - where XE MAKES THE RULES. If the wetware datajack doesn't fit the interface stimport, you must acquit, your megajudgship.
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Feb 21, 2015 04:50
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 12:19 |
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Ramc posted:"What do you mean we can't e-arrest that cybernetic dragon, Robojudge?" goddammit i came here to do a malatora one
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Feb 21, 2015 05:40
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