[APPLE] crAPPLE EVENT MARCH 9TH MEGATHREAD [OFFICIAL]

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > [APPLE] crAPPLE EVENT MARCH 9TH MEGATHREAD [OFFICIAL]

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infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

graph posted:

gruber says the gold iwatch is gonna start at 20 thousand dollers lmao

all the poors ITF are gonna get hella fuckin uppity

i really want them to enter the vertu tier of luxury ce products

that will beautiful

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 19:17

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

theadder posted:

to openly defy steve is one thing but to do it in this of all possible threads i am incensed

well at least you'll smell better

# ¿ Feb 26, 2015 19:54

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

poty posted:

ive never been to denmark and i live two countries down do you think its a place that is cool or interesting to visit

it depends, do you like danes?

# ¿ Feb 28, 2015 08:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

tell her i said "hi"

# ¿ Mar 2, 2015 10:08

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Beast of Bourbon posted:

does amoke know if the new apple Iwatch will be 4K?

according to cremnob it'll be 15K

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 22:21

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

an ounce [28g or about 1.6 cubic centimeters] of gold in bar form is $1200

what does that have to do with the iwatch?

do you really think they're going to make any of them out of solid gold instead of just electroplating?

what conceivable reason would the have for doing that?

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:10

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

18-karat gold that our metallurgists have developed to be up to twice as hard as standard gold

lol @ apple advertizing pure strain gold, specially crafted by our artisan metallurgists

also "crafted from" does not mean it's a solid gold chassis, it's a bullshit marketing term. i mean it could mean that, but it's absurd

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:22

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

I don't see why that's so farfetched, if they were just plating it I doubt they'd even bother with a separate line for the edition since it would add approximately zero dollars to the price

e: also that steel link band is going to cost several hundred dollars on its own

watches be expensive, yo

it doesn't have to add anything to the cost to be sold for 500% more and the number one way to do that is to make it a separate product line.

hell, given the bewildering choices apple has made the last few years it probably is made of solid gold. it'll be a luxury targeted product made for a market that wouldn't even glance at it.

hopefully they can sell it to aspirationals with no sense and too much credit and the sort of nouveau-riche assholes that still buy virtu and porche design

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:30

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

cremnob posted:

marco arment thinks apple is doing another $1000 ipad thing and it will be 5k

http://www.marco.org/2015/03/04/boring-apple-watch-edition-pricing

this actually doesn't seem unreasonable

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:34

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

e: also that steel link band is going to cost several hundred dollars on its own

watches be expensive, yo

i'm not arguing the cost, i'm saying i don't see why it would matter if it were solid gold rather than electroplated given that it's a hideous design and tacky looking as all hell. is "solid gold" versus "gold" really a differentiating factor for the armani-exchange wearing, 3 series bmw owning wannabies that are going to rush out to buy this thing?

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:43

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

the thing I'm curious about is if there's an upgrade path

this is an apple product, you already know the answer to that

the upgrade path is "buy a new one and sell your old one to poors on craigslist or give it to your kids as a toy"

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:50

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

given that this is going to be the worst apple watch they ever make why would anyone besides russian gangsters and idle rich emiratis buy the first one?

as i have repeatedly pointed out nothing about the iwatch and especially the edition watch makes any goddamn sense, so who knows?

nothing about the design, formfactor, or potential use case in any way makes sense as a luxury product, but according to cremnob's tasseomancy that's what they're doing

# ¿ Mar 4, 2015 23:57

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

the cremnobs of the world believe apple can invent a luxury market because rich people bought iphones and ipads, so clearly that means they can sell a first gen product that no one else is buying for 20x the price

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 00:04

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

and for bypassing currency controls

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 00:13

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Locker Room Zubaz posted:

they've been hyping up the fact that everything is on a single chip and how it took tons of R&D to make that happen so i am betting heavily on it being upgradable. watch the Edition sell out and be backlogged for months because of constraints on gold or something absurd like that.

yes, if you assume apple is going to completely turn their proven successful business models on end specifically for this one niche market product line, then sure it'll be upgradable

it makes sense in as much as it's the only way to sell a $10k watch that would otherwise be obsolete trash in a year

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 00:29

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

qirex posted:

I'm definitely not saying it will be user-upgradeable just that there could at least be some kind of trade-in deal

that sort of kills the heirloom appeal though doesn't it?

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 00:37

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

echinopsis posted:

the iphone 6+ is clear evidence this is true

yes, my fundamental mistake is i keep assuming apple is still a company that wants to make good products

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 00:46

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

no they're market chasing trash designed to hoover up the idiots that finally got sick of sarnsung's poo poo

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 01:08

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Locker Room Zubaz posted:

nope they are selling like crazy because they are universally hated

they don't have to be good products to sell well, see samsung phones circa 2010-2013

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 01:09

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

echinopsis posted:

and as it turns out, there's fuckin 100s of millions of them

well someone had to be buying all those samsungs to begin with, so it stands to reason

the only markets they didn't absorb were the poors with no contract upgrade options and the iyg'ers who pathologically hate apple

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 01:22

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

lol at a bunch of nerds not understanding what makes a good product now that apple no longer makes them

just like stymie predicted, yopsos turned into iyg/dyp within a week of the iphone announcement

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 03:24

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

GATOS Y VATOS posted:

gold looks like poo poo on white people.

seriously, it looks tacky as gently caress

whitegold and platinum basically are your only choices if you're white

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 04:58

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

poty posted:

you obviously have no idea whatsoever what the luxury watch market is like

so school me then

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 06:40

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

GATOS Y VATOS posted:

rich idiots with nauseating amounts of money spending it on poo poo that doesn't matter.

i know this is yospos and nobody reads anything, but this is what i've been saying from the first.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 06:47

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

the sort of person that spent 50 1970s dollars on a light up watch that says time to gently caress is the sort of person that will buy an apple edition watch today

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 17:44

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

cremnob posted:

is this a "it's going to flop" prediction or a "it sucks but its gonna sell millions" aka im a pussy BITCH

it's a "it's a stupid product that makes no sense and has no coherent usecase" post

flop/not a flop is not a very interesting dichotomy. you may as well be touting the amazing revolution that is the pet rock

it sold like gangbusters, it was the dumbest thing ever sold

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 20:13

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

cremnob posted:

im a pussy BITCH

DSYP

especially lol coming from the guy who got run out of the flamewar thread by everyone, including the apple supporters

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 20:18

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

you talk a lot of DYP but when it comes time to nut up you just can't hang.

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 20:23

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

cremnob, the guy using tasseomancy to DYP his apple stock is here to tell you about how aplle watch is beautiful jewelry

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 20:38

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

THC posted:

yea gross nerds said this about the iphone and ipad too

im not saying its gonna be as successful as the iphone or ipad but we've definitely heard this record before

wasn't cremnob just bitching about this truth is in the middle poo poo?

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 20:48

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

also lol at you going all tory cmos on my post history and ignoring how much i defend apple here

I've owned macs since the 90s, i can still spot a stupid market chasing product when i see one

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 20:58

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

i'm RICO'S LUNCH

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 22:52

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

i still don't get why they're so fixated on this as a luxury product. the iphone and ipad were never "luxury" products per se, they were just best in class products that the wealthy decided to buy because they were the best

even if some revolutionary new usecase appears out of the aether and there becomes and actual point to owning a smart watch, the iwatch could comfortably be the best in class smartwach without trying to compete with rolex and omega

# ¿ Mar 5, 2015 23:26

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Wild EEPROM posted:

ORIGINAL GAS ESCAPE VALVE
ROLEX
OYSTER PERPETUAL DATE
DEEPSEA
SEA-DWELLER
12800ft = 3900m
SUPERLATIVE CHRONOMETER
OFFICIALLY CERTIFIED
SWISS MADE
RING LOCK SYSTEM

look. look at all the pointless words that have nothing to do with what time it is, and yet are on the face of the watch rather than in the owner's info packet

rolex was never really one for subtle design

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 03:42

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

if apple is inviting design comparisons with rolex someone hosed up somewhere

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 03:43

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

hmmm....

touch targets significantly smaller than the finger you use to interact with them. where have we seen that before?

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 05:41

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

it's pretty stupid too since the thing doesn't work without an iphone really anyway

playback controls, sure, but nobody's going to be loading their katie perry jams on their watch

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 06:03

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Celexi posted:

cremnob get out of this thread and go post on the flame thread

he can't, it's too contrived for his organic shitposting style

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 06:45

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Sir Jony Ives posted:

"the molecules are closer together in Apple gold."

purestrain lmao

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 18:08

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# ¿ May 14, 2024 04:19

infernal machines: Oct 11, 2012; we monitor many frequencies. we listen always. came a voice, out of the babel of tongues, speaking to us. it played us a mighty dub.

Beast of Bourbon posted:

the gold used by apple is much more valuable than regular gold, it's 8 karat, the lower the number the better

it's gold ceramic composite or some poo poo

# ¿ Mar 6, 2015 18:54

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > [APPLE] crAPPLE EVENT MARCH 9TH MEGATHREAD [OFFICIAL]

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