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gently caress medical and their record losing ways.
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Mar 3, 2015 17:10
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PneumonicBook posted:Aren't you an hm? Yeah, and I still hate most corpsemen. Records room for the clinic next door is cleaning out their records and are finding some that were thought lost, one of which they brought to me because it had some mental health stuff in it. I remember the guy because he was a frequent patient, he was losing his mind looking for his record and they end up pulling it out of a cabinet 2 years after he needed it. Lord knows if he was able to get to the VA with some of the stuff considering he needed it to continue care. So yeah, gently caress medical. We've got some people that are alright, but a lot of dudes are clueless. One kid looked at me and was surprised someone "could be allergic to Sofas." Patient said Sulfa drugs. Motherfucking Sulfa, and this cockbag is scratching his head at an allergy he made up for a loving inanimate object. Honestly I just need a Snickers and a handle of Kraken.
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Mar 3, 2015 17:30
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germskr posted:Might have been auto correct, but I found this rather funny. Wasn't autocorrect. I expected a bit more responsibility from them before they head out to their volunteering bake sales. Favorite STD story is the one in the Marine thread where a Marine spent weeks trying to pop dick warts thinking they were pimples. The IDC doc gave him some stripping thing that skinned his balls. All he needed was an ointment or something hahaha.
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Mar 4, 2015 05:50
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Wingnut Ninja posted:I would sooner chop my dick off than apply anything to it that was prescribed by a corpsman. But if Navy medicine caused your dick to fall off, they'd leave you entitled to disability, or a new robo-dick. Change the channel with your erection. Set off an EMP with your orgasms. Provide free wifi to the masses as you travel. The possibilities are endless! Then again, with the government, you'd be lucky if your replacement dong doesn't short circuit and leave you fried, but hey just another risk in free medicine.
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Mar 4, 2015 19:27
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LingcodKilla posted:Thank my rear end for its service. Lingcodd has received the Purple Fart for injury incurred during the superior performance of his duties.
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Mar 5, 2015 15:52
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Arione posted:So apparently coordinating the on base holiday party, and "sports day" both rate NAMS, 5 months TAD to security forces? not so much.... smdh 4 corpsmen got NAMs two years ago for being part of the citadel exercise security was doing, they only did like 2 days. You'll get a NAM someday Arione, when you're separating probably 
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Mar 5, 2015 17:00
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Applewhite posted:Question for enlisted Goons: Better with being up front with who is doing what, leadership is more than just telling people what to do such as delegating workload around so that the team remains balanced and you gain trust in the people around you to do whatever they're assigned. If they don't know how to do and you have a body to spare, have them teach the fucker. If fucker is an idiot, then don't just let him loaf around and do something about it, bring in 3rd or 2nd or 1st classes to teach him something if there's some issue with them doing it, Chief being the last guy that needs to be bothered with it because his coffee might get cold.
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Mar 6, 2015 00:45
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Fart Sandwiches posted:Says the terminal e-3 Just advice I get from people that don't make the lives of the people under them miserable and go around useless people in higher positions.
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Mar 6, 2015 09:13
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Arione posted:Well you know its made up now. Ive never seen a captain work. realistically the corpse would be on the table being poked at by 2 HMSNs and they would report that all that's needed is motrin and fresh socks Also that they yelled at it about malingering.
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Mar 15, 2015 01:52
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Being an E-2 at Fort Sam a lot of the Navy dudes got salutes because of their NSUs. Our HM3 in charge of our class just told some of the kids that if someone had PO3, PO2, and PO1 insignia it demonstrated being part of a crew that sunk a ship, chevrons equating to boats. One of the Chiefs convinced some poor airmen to salute him and they asked me if it was true they had to. Some of the kids in our class thought that the anchor on a Chief's collar was from traditions when old submarines were around before torpedos, to defend the ship you'd hover the sub and drop the anchor. Fort Sam is a weird place.
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Mar 17, 2015 06:55
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Sir Lucius posted:Well gently caress. I just got an EP. Guess it's time to study for advancement exams and be the spite of all my peers. Collect their tears and sip on them in front of them, splash their faces in it when they're complaining that they didn't care about the test anyway yet continue to spout about how they would be better than you. Feast on their weeping souls.
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Mar 18, 2015 18:19
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Susa posted:I take my first advancement exam in 2 years and its mathematically impossible to pick up off of an mp, moral of the story never be a corpsman. I've seen people pick up off of an MP, the defining thing would be their questions missed. If you'd like a test guide I have a bunch of stuff saved up that has everything you need for the sections without having to go through pages of useless information, simplifying every DD form, instruction and SF you'd see on the test. The only thing in the study guides that is likely going to be useless is anything having to do with Mental Health that isn't sexual assault related. Focus on Dental, Lab, X-ray, Pharmacy, and general supply/triage stuff for units with MLG or MarDiv and you should be fine. I've seen some corpsmen get all the questions right and not pick up from a P eval, but plenty of dudes here have picked up with MPs. Only time you don't get an MP is if you fail a PRT or you hosed up, and even then you have a chance to pick up if you get enough questions right and don't have a piss poor average.
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Mar 19, 2015 18:16
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PneumonicBook posted:I don't normally worry about the older guys we get going through A school because they are either lazy fuckups that are exactly the same as junior guys, or are super motivated because they joined late in life. Can confirm Navy COOL is the coolest thing ever and if you don't use it while you say you plan to have a career that requires a certification, you're an idiot. So many of these corpsmen with their butts hurt about their evals spout on about "I'll challenge the LVN test and be a nurse and then Chief will HAVE to salute me hahahaha!" just get out and pay up the rear end for LVN licenses when they could have gotten it for free. You send up your chit, figure out your exam dates, study for the exams you need to take, turn it in (hell in some cases you get the exam sent to you and it's and easy A), get your cert and be prepared to move on.
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Mar 20, 2015 18:55
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Arione posted:guess we're about to find out. I check out in a few months. . . till then. Bruh the whole point of the military is having expendable people capable of performing a job. The fact that you can skate and poo poo still gets done is a fact of how much the rest of the command doesnt give two shits if you exist in the halls or if youre a bum in a ditch bleeding to death. Hell, even when I was the only person with my NEC at my command, I was easily expendable because they could have found someone else to do it, civilian or military. Strap on your skates and carry on if you want, prepare for life on the outside, but dont lie to yourself to believe you arent replaceable. Whether youre in for 5 months or youre in for 30 years, SP sailor or EP, youre expendable and the mission will still get done with or without you. No sense in being bitter about it. The joke is nothing is going to change except someone probably saying they miss your jokes.
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Mar 22, 2015 04:20
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poopkitty posted:Panda's growing up and getting logic! J/K, but YES. This. You are a body and a number. I always thought it was true but you guys helped put everything into perspective. you guys <3Helo dunker seems like so much fun.
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Mar 23, 2015 15:29
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buttplug posted:You mean the museum ship in SD? I didn't even know there were TS spaces on the thing (I guess I wasn't paying attention). Which ones? Oh just the redacted , redacted , and staaaaaand navy out to sea .
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Mar 27, 2015 05:38
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Ey bruh I can hook you up with that LLD chit if ya know some bad bitches
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Mar 29, 2015 00:23
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Dingleberry posted:So when it's okay to be a lady-boy or a boy-lady in the Nav can a male say his hair identifies gender-wise as a female and thusly be permitted to grow it long? "Chief, I'm a nocturnal otherkin sloth stuck in a human body, and these watches are triggering me."
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Mar 30, 2015 15:48
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PneumonicBook posted:He got medically retired for being broke as poo poo. Keep using the machine if they give you one, some people get the machine and never use it again. It logs your usage which a lot of people don't know. The mask is bulky at first but they can upgrade you after a while for a more comfortable one.
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Mar 30, 2015 20:05
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Sir Lucius posted:OOD in my navy lifetime has been sitting at a desk and answering phones. Here they have a POOW watch where you sit at a desk and answer questions/have to explain why the closest ER is in a town 15-20 minutes away. OOD is mainly roving the building once or twice. CDO is covered by some dude during the day for maintenance stuff and is passed on to someone that'll go home at 8 with a pager that may or may not work. Duty driver is basically everyone's bitch for runs around, regardless of if their workspace has enough bodies. Some idiot during the ladt Captain's call asked if we could just not have watches because everything we look at is automated. That went over nicely.
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Apr 2, 2015 06:29
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I've met three goons. One was a Nuke that failed out in the first phase, another was Christoff and the last was an ET3 on some ship in San Diego that taught me what a plank owner was since he is one.
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Apr 3, 2015 16:11
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krispykremessuck posted:japanese whisky is actually loving great so it's not that goony at all, unless you were drinking it with your body pillow Orihime-waifu makes the bombest drinks, krispykremesucks-senpai just doesnt understand.
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Apr 6, 2015 07:17
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U.S. Navy: Tappin' our mana like we tappin' your bitch.
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Apr 12, 2015 10:21
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Akula Raskolnikova posted:Not only am I a corpsman, I'm also a lab tech. So, there are only 20 of us total in the fleet. And they're all PO2+, so I'm not going to get a ship. It would be pretty awful from what I'm told, so I'm content working 7-4 at a clinic somewhere. I know this is a hella old post, but I was at TAPS and finding out the requirements for a Master's/Ph.D program I want to jump into. If you end up wanting to make lab tech a career, or just earning extra money on the side, look up on Navy COOL or even with your instructors at the school for informatoin on the civilian certification. Some C Schools it's automatic like with Respiratory techs, but some of the other ones, like Psych and Surg techs, you have to challenge the civilian certification authorities' test. Being at a hospital, you have so much free time it's ridiculous. You might end up working shift work if there's an ER at the hospital you're assigned to. If you need help navigating some of the Navy COOL stuff, I've done it before and could help you find information. It's a pretty straightforward process though.
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Apr 14, 2015 18:06
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Gray Matter posted:What is the general consensus on the USMap program? I have avoided doing anything with it for the past 3 years, but if it is actually going to benefit me when I separate and get a Big Boy Career I might start logging hours. I remain skeptical but would like to hear an opinion without the usual COC spin. Depends on what you're aiming for. Like with a lot of Corpsmen it's peddled as a program to get a nursing degree easily but in reality your hours are translated to some civilian job, so most corpsmen working a front desk end up just becoming a hospital administrator.
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Apr 14, 2015 23:32
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This is going to sounds like a retarded question, but don't you guys have plugs on the ships? Unless you're buying lovely batteries/draining them too much I don't see how you'd need a couple spares.
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Apr 20, 2015 15:45
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Howard Phillips posted:Some of us are in the real Navy! #WOGPride
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Apr 21, 2015 16:12
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Fart Sandwiches posted:JAG helped me unfuck my bonus situation when I was a babby sailor so that was nice. One of my reservist friends had an issue they helped unfuck, they were trying to get him to pay back 20k in his bonus because big navy hosed up his orders and he didn't go to field med as the contract was written, for some reason the detailer had left it out. The extra win in the situation was this whiney brat everyone hated that didn't have field med in his orders that ended up getting it, he could have qualified for the bonus but since it wasn't in his contract they weren't obligated to give it to him even though he's reserves as well.
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Apr 23, 2015 09:27
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Oh yeah? Well did your RDC show up in the NAVY TIMES as the HITLER of boot camp?!?!?! Didn't think so 
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Apr 26, 2015 22:35
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Seqenenra posted:And now the rest of the story. Although I am not sure this didn't get copied out of the Onion or something. And yes, this link has the word "goat" in it. Lmao a goat with more time at sea than my LPOs. Congratulations on the Master's Nick!
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May 1, 2015 12:02
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theAcidQueen posted:The entire "Suspended Bust" system is complete and utter bullshit, and I am ashamed that i work in an atmosphere that would rather separate me for being over physical fitness limits then someone who has shown the capability to injure/kill someone with his behavior. Sorry your body betrayed you three times, bro.
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May 4, 2015 08:04
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Sir Lucius posted:It's probably for the best, but I always no poo poo tell my division they should just delete their facebook accounts. Nothing good ever comes from it. Or just change their names and the place they're living in on it, set it to private and unless your chain knows some weird internet wizardry you'll never be found. If a person isn't a shithead in the shop I don't get why they're looking through facebooks though. Poopkitty why were you eating the souls of poor little recruits?
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May 5, 2015 17:01
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Nwabudike Morgan posted:is there anything i can pick up off NAVY COOL from the IS rate? i cant figure this website out for the life of me I just looked up IS, it shows some of the certs to me so it might just be your computer. The way it worked out for me, I just looked through the list of poo poo they had and found things that I qualified for based on my NECs. You select one, write it down, then click on any links. If it's a state certification, contact the licensing agency which they'll have information for on the careeronestop hyperlink. After talking to them and finding out a price (you'll have to do this for any cert you want to get), you contact the people at Navy COOL. Their information is under the "Get Voucher" tab. Once they give you the go ahead, look and see on your command's routing matrix who it needs to go to. For mine it just went to my LPO, LCPO, DH, and the department head of whoever runs your commands Education and Training. I think this routing sheet will be different for people on a ship, considering hospitals do things rear end backwards, so it might just be your Divo instead of a Department Head. Anyway, after you get the voucher cleared by Education and Training, you need to fax it over to the Credentialing office. You can find their number on the website. Once they give you the green light either by email or phone, you can contact the Licensing Agency to set up for your exam. When I did mine I called the licensing agent for the details on how the exam is taken as sometimes they require it to be in seat or they might mail you the test to send back to them. It sounds like a lot of leg work, but once you figure out which one you want and where to take the test, everything else is taken care of by the COOL people and your chain of command. Remember to get an exact quote for how much the exam will cost directly from the credentialing agency, and just because they have E-8 or some rank you aren't it doesn't mean you're automatically disqualified. It's a recommendation, and you can take the exam. If you click on the rank in Navy COOL it'll tell you exactly what's expected of you to know so, if it says it's recommended you be a Senior Chief, you can just pick the brain of your Senior Chief and see if there's anything you don't know about the equipment they specify. There's also a lot of resources for studying for certain tests, especially the State regulated Boards.
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May 6, 2015 16:54
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Analogical posted:I'm fine for IDW, I board next week since I've finally been at my home command for more than two months and I'm not DNQ until sometime next year as they don't count my TDY/TADs, which is over 70% of my total time here. The SP sailor situation is endemic in the other offices here though but morale is also ripped to shreds here because nobody was told they could re-enlist. I only know three people who got orders out of all the arabic linguists I know, and two are re-languages with one doing something unique for the DoD. People stopped volunteering, quit collaterals and just focused on the DoD side of the house. I know a good portion of people in FHD, CC/CFL offices who were like "Why deal with all this extra poo poo then" and deuced out. Pretty happy I didn't fight with my recruiter for CTI as hard I thought I should have. Follow your heart Analogical.
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May 10, 2015 01:06
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drat I wish I could get a pin, maybe its just a bit of my motivated Pandasmores left that needs to be killed off like the rest.
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May 11, 2015 01:02
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vulturesrow posted:On the other hand, some nobles like to put LCDR(sel) which is a surefire indicator you are dealing with a raging tool. The gently caress is sel?
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May 11, 2015 15:47
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Better add in your D&D titles and your achievements in video games. V/r, Pandasmores, the Untouched, the First of His Name, the Destroyer of the Unclean, the Dungeon Master of the Pure, the Weird Pandasmores fucked around with this message at 15:59 on May 12, 2015 |
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May 12, 2015 15:53
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Ya'll just proved the best NEC is 92 proof in the civ rating.
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May 16, 2015 04:42
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Oh man, apparently some guys out here have to put in a special request to schedule appointments in any portion of medical. Have you guys ran into this at your commands? It seems like a massive way to not only waste time but also have HIPAA violations out the rear end.
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May 18, 2015 19:30
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nwin posted:Wait, is this a thing? You guys have people jump off the carrier to kill themselves on a normal basis? Yeah, or they threaten they'll do something. Some are maladaptive to the military, others just joined because they thought the TA would get approved and they'd have a regular 9 to 5 like when they were out and now actually have to commit to their contract instead of just doing school. Each one requires medical to fill out DoD Suicide Event Reports detailing 160 things about the individual.
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May 23, 2015 18:44
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