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Cymbal Monkey
Apr 16, 2009

Lift Your Little Paws Like Antennas to Heaven!
I love a good cult, the wackier and more left field the beliefs, the better. So to kick this off, I present to you an old favourite of mine: The Temple of Theola (Do click around, there's some hidden gems on there)

Do you love new age aesthetics and beliefs that are kind of rooted in Celtic myth if you squint? Are you a massive racist and want to flaunt your genes that are descended directly from the Europeans gods? Or maybe you're just an angry redhead because of all the "oppression" your people have faced throughout history. Well then, Temple of Theola will welcome you with open arms!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ky9Ox9kKmLg

Temple of Theola's main goal at this point seems to be preventing blood donations from RH- people until their demands are met. What are these demands? See for yourself!

Temple of Theola posted:

So I pledge to withhold my life saving pure blood until such a time that our demands are met, and they are:

1, Calling someone names based on hair colour is to become classed as hate crime. Using the word Ginger is to been seen as the same as using the word friend of the family.

2, We are to be classed as a separate species of humanoid, and have rights as such.

3, We are given our own land and country, which shall be named - Theomerla.

4, We will be free to live how we want to in our own country, without interference from any other country.


Bonus video! The story of the Theolites

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AalKbp8-qcQ

Cymbal Monkey has a new favorite as of 11:46 on Mar 11, 2015

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Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


So, what rights do other species of humanoids get?

Cymbal Monkey
Apr 16, 2009

Lift Your Little Paws Like Antennas to Heaven!

Tiggum posted:

So, what rights do other species of humanoids get?

My question is, if I sleep with a ginger redhead, is it bestiality?

Rapman the Cook
Aug 24, 2013

by Ralp
In order of Preference:

Panna Wave
Aum Shinrikyo
Heavens Gate

System Metternich
Feb 28, 2010

But what did he mean by that?

So you're a traditional Catholic who broke ties with the Church after the reforms of the Second Vatican Council? You don't want to join the Fraternity of St Pius X because they don't claim that all popes since the council have been literally agents of Satan? You toy with the idea of simply electing a new pope and starting the Church anew, but don't think you have the chops to elect yourself? Instead of following the trend of simplifying the liturgy, you instead decide to double down and introduce all sorts of new funky colours to the Mass? Then look no further, the Palmarian Church has got you covered!

In 1968, several Spaniards claimed to have seen an apparition of Mary by a tree near Palmar de Troya, Andalusia. While the local clergy dismissed the visions (and most of those who claimed to have seen the Virigin decided to not insist), one insurance broker by the name of Clemente Dominguez y Goméz proclaimed that Mary had ordered him to rid the Church of progressivists and communists. Supposedly he also started showing stigmata (the wounds Christ suffered on the cross) and claimed to have lost 16 litres of blood at once - the blood he later showed to others was proven to not be his, though. He and his followers started a religious order (the "Carmelites of the Holy Face") and managed to persuade an arch-conservative and more than a bit senile Vietnamese archbishop to ordain Dominguez a bishop. Shortly afterwards he lost his eyeballs in a car accident, which sped up his downwards spiral into insanity even more and multiplied the "visions" he received. After the death of Pope Paul VI in 1978 (whom, oddly, they still continued to venerate as a holy pope even though he was the main man responsible for continuing the council and actually implementing its reforms) he claimed to have been crowned pope by Christ himself, following this mystical coronation with a real one in Seville.

During his reign as "pope", his acts included canonising the fascist dictator Franco as well as Christoph Columbus, authoring a "revised" version of the Bible, proclaiming new dogmas like Mary being present in the host as well, and sexually abusing several of his priests and nuns. The Palmarian Church now claims to have 60 bishops (apparently every priest is also a bishop for them? No idea), 70 nuns and about 2,000 followers. They even had a small schism when Dominguez excommunicated several of his clergy for allegedly planning to assassinate him; they formed the Archidonian Palmarian Church, which seems to have been reduced to maybe four or five members, though. The Palmarians are currently at their third pope.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pGUQqNgffUM
Dominguez receives a vision (lolling at even the altar servers being cardinals)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y70SDAJ8qRg
A badass montage of Palmarian church services cut to Marilyn Manson, made by an ex-member of the church (:nms: for gory imagery)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1lGgSPLG9Ns
A former Irish member of the Palmarians has posted several videos in which he threatens the church leadership. He doesn't seem to be too mentally stable himself, though.


The Palmarian cathedral in Palmar de Troya


The current pope Gregory XVIII

System Metternich has a new favorite as of 15:37 on Mar 11, 2015

the holy poopacy
May 16, 2009

hey! check this out
Fun Shoe

System Metternich posted:


The current pope Gregory XVIII

He looks like he bought his vestments in a costume shop for $20.

brick cow
Oct 22, 2008

System Metternich posted:



The current pope Gregory XVIII

After being pope he went on to a minor role in the transformer franchise.


I'm actually interested in learning more about a cult one time I saw featured on a 20/20 like show. The kids in the cult would all live in a house, not have cars, and they would beg or dig food out of garbage. I think it was highest concentrated somewhere in texas but it was in more than one state. I know thats not a lot of information and describes a lot of cults. But maybe someone will know what it is.

Also for a creepy but pretty good movie about cults, watch Martha Marcy May Marlene.

Homeless Bebe
Jul 15, 2012


Blue Oyster Cult

WITCHCRAFT
Aug 28, 2007

Berries That Burn


Hadaka Apron
Feb 12, 2015
When I went to college in New Hampshire, there was this town named Richmond nearby with this traditionalist Catholic splinter group that hated Jews. It was the only town in the state where Ron Paul won the primary in 2008.

http://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-report/browse-all-issues/2007/summer/trouble-in-paradise



I specifically remember seeing that nun with the mole in the grocery store once.

DicktheCat
Feb 15, 2011

Surprised no one's mentioned Scientology.

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless
Surprised no one's mentioned iPhone users

ToxicSlurpee
Nov 5, 2003

-=SEND HELP=-


Pillbug

DicktheCat posted:

Surprised no one's mentioned Scientology.

To be a cult you have to be a religion. Scientology is a business.

Bip Roberts
Mar 29, 2005
Raëlians are cool because they lied to everyone that they cloned a human and everyone believed them. Also it was founded when a race car driver was abducted by aliens on a volcano. Which is pretty loving cool.

snergle
Aug 3, 2013

A kind little mouse!

DicktheCat posted:

Surprised no one's mentioned Scientology.

trap sprung get him xenu.

DarklyDreaming
Apr 4, 2009

Fun scary
The followers of Rajneesh were located in a small Oregon town called The Dalles. At first the town was good to them, and most of the time they were good to the town. Then the Guru and the government of The Dalles started butting heads over land usage rights. From there Rajneesh had two choices: Accept the city's regulations and play nice, or poison a shitload of people until only his followers can vote in municipal elections.

Seeing no other option, Rajneesh ordered his people to sprinkle powdered salmonella into the food in every restaurant in town, leaving 751 people too sick to vote.

As it turns out they did not poison enough people to turn the election in their favor and accomplished nothing but a record for biggest bioterrorist act in American history.

For coming up with a plot straight out of a bad sitcom, they get a mention from me in this thread.

ZeusCannon
Nov 5, 2009

BLAAAAAARGH PLEASE KILL ME BLAAAAAAAARGH
Grimey Drawer
Bitcoin.

They recently created their own bible, satoshibible.com.

Tiberius Thyben
Feb 7, 2013

Gone Phishing


ZeusCannon posted:

Bitcoin.

They recently created their own bible, satoshibible.com.

How can it be a bible if it's not in the blockchain? It's not even a .onion.

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

The Benandanti. They went on crazy astral projection dream quests at night to fight demons and witches. Later the inquisition pointed out that this was a very witchy thing to do.

Alaois
Feb 7, 2012

bunch of people too crazy for the Pentecostals started a town in New Jersey and led by their KKK-lovin' leader

Oldstench
Jun 29, 2007

Let's talk about where you're going.

brick cow posted:

I'm actually interested in learning more about a cult one time I saw featured on a 20/20 like show. The kids in the cult would all live in a house, not have cars, and they would beg or dig food out of garbage. I think it was highest concentrated somewhere in texas but it was in more than one state. I know thats not a lot of information and describes a lot of cults. But maybe someone will know what it is.

Also for a creepy but pretty good movie about cults, watch Martha Marcy May Marlene.

I think you're referring to The Brethren also known as The Garbage Eaters.

They're loony-toons.

Celery Face
Feb 18, 2012

DarklyDreaming posted:

The followers of Rajneesh were located in a small Oregon town called The Dalles. At first the town was good to them, and most of the time they were good to the town. Then the Guru and the government of The Dalles started butting heads over land usage rights. From there Rajneesh had two choices: Accept the city's regulations and play nice, or poison a shitload of people until only his followers can vote in municipal elections.

Seeing no other option, Rajneesh ordered his people to sprinkle powdered salmonella into the food in every restaurant in town, leaving 751 people too sick to vote.

As it turns out they did not poison enough people to turn the election in their favor and accomplished nothing but a record for biggest bioterrorist act in American history.

For coming up with a plot straight out of a bad sitcom, they get a mention from me in this thread.
There's a good Forsenic Files episode about that.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rrb9MV5KICI

The Ant Hill Kids, a doomsday cult from Ontario active from '77 to '89. Most people haven't heard of them and I find it surprising because even by cult standards, the leader was a real piece of poo poo.

quote:

Despite his devastating punishments, the members of the Ant Hill Kids never questioned his authority. His punishments included making members break their own legs with sledgehammers, sitting on lit stoves, shooting each other in the shoulders, and eating dead mice and feces. A follower would sometimes be asked to cut off another follower's toes with wire cutters to prove loyalty. The children were not spared, and not only were they sexually abused, but they were also at times held over fires or would be nailed to trees while other children threw stones at them. Thériault was also responsible for the death of his own infant, as he left the child outside during a blizzard.

quote:

When follower Solange Boilard complained of an upset stomach, Thériault laid her naked on a table, punched her in the stomach, jammed a plastic tube up her rectum to perform a crude enema with molasses and olive oil, then cut open her abdomen, and ripped off part of her intestines with his bare hands. Thériault made another member, Gabrielle Lavallée, stitch her up using needle and thread, and had the other women shove a tube down her throat and blow. Boilard died the next day. Claiming to have power of resurrection, Thériault bore a hole into Boilard's skull with a drill, and then made other male members—along with himself—ejaculate into the cavity.

Gabrielle Lavallée underwent harsh treatment herself during the years leading up to 1989. She had suffered through welding torches on her genitals, a hypodermic needle breaking off in her back and even eight of her teeth being forcibly removed. Upon her return, after having escaped from the commune, Thériault removed one of her fingers with wire cutters, pinned her hand to a wooden table with a hunting knife and then amputated her entire arm. The abuse that caused Gabrielle Lavallée to leave, however, is when Thériault cut off parts of her breast and smashed her head in with the blunt side of an ax. She fled and contacted authorities. The cult shut down in 1989, when Thériault was arrested and given a life sentence
Thériault was stabbed to death by a cellmate in 2011.

Celery Face has a new favorite as of 08:39 on Mar 14, 2015

Dr Scoofles
Dec 6, 2004

DicktheCat posted:

Surprised no one's mentioned Scientology.

I'm going to recommend the book Going Clear by Lawrence Wright. I read it after it was recommended by the goons in the scientology thread way back when and it was a surreal loving read. Dude throws light onto all the creepy dark corners of scientology, plus he dishes the dirt on Tom Cruise.

cthulusnewzulubbq
Jan 26, 2009

I saw something
NASTY
in the woodshed.


~Thug Lyfe~

Oldstench
Jun 29, 2007

Let's talk about where you're going.

Dr Scoofles posted:

I'm going to recommend the book Going Clear by Lawrence Wright. I read it after it was recommended by the goons in the scientology thread way back when and it was a surreal loving read. Dude throws light onto all the creepy dark corners of scientology, plus he dishes the dirt on Tom Cruise.

A Piece of Blue Sky is really good as well. It goes pretty deeply into the origins of the group.

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bunnyofdoom
Mar 29, 2008

I've been here the whole time, and you're not my real Dad! :emo:
I am a fan of Richard Wayne Gary Wayne's cult

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