The DOXXING of Vladmir Putin.

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > The DOXXING of Vladmir Putin.

Miss Psychosis

He won't be winking when this is over.

Putin has long been an upstanding member in the BYOB community, but I feel that it is of deathly import that everyone here knows the truth.

Putin is a dictator.

Putin, ordering the gassing of Drilldo Squirts Famous Futa Thread 2K15.

Putin looking disapprovingly as a poster he dislikes get's emptyquoted.

Putin when informed of I Am He's autoban.

These candid shots aren't the only damning evidence. Let's look at some of his offsite posts.

PutinMan posted:

I, today, will put through legislation that makes being a gay teen illegal. I can only hope this law spurns the formation of more laws in more countries. I dream of the day when I shall not lay up at night remember those I have executed for their sins, safe in the knowledge that Gay Teens no longer exist.

LetsGetPutinWithIt posted:

DAE love veal? I don't even feel bad when I eat it.

PutinLuvvvvver posted:

Putin placed his hand on my inner thigh, and slide it slowly towards my throbbing sex. I could sense his turgidity. I could sense his swell.

[EDITORS NOTE: The above quote was found in a Putin Erotica website. Nearly half the active userbase was Putin alt accounts.]

PutinFishlord posted:

What's the best speargun for dolphin fishing? I have a CP-3X but it specializes in killing without suffering :/

PUTINNNNN posted:

42069. lol

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:15

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# ? May 7, 2024 17:46

Miss Psychosis

pre:

EDITOR: What next?

MP: I've opened it up to the greatest community of internet sleuths I know.

EDITOR: Are you sure?

MP: Yes. He will have pizzas sent to his palace within the hour. 

EDITOR: Hmmph, As long as I get a story.

MP: Oh trust me. BYOB will find us the juiciest pieces of Putin's inglorious history around the web in no time.

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:17

joke_explainer

Ladies and gentlemen, please bar the doors. The culprit is among us, and no one enters or leaves until we find him. One of us is Vladamir Putin, and I intend to find out whom.

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:20

joke_explainer

Chief Maid Nelson: [thick Russian accent] Is not me. Born in... Georgia, true southern belle.

me: Oh, really? *pulls wig off woman, revealing an old Russian man*

Oh... excuse me Mr. Gorbachev. I'm not looking for you.

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:25

Miss Psychosis

pre:

EDITOR: Is this true?

MP: I think so. 

EDITOR: Look its unverified.

MP: I need to make it public. If I don't I won't be able to live with myself.

EDITOR: I can't protect you from the repercussions. 

MP: Post it.

EDITOR: Fine. I hope this doesn't blow up in your face.

pre:

I Love Taylor's new single. Haha.. I'm dancing! I'm dancing!!!!
                                /

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:28

Miss Psychosis

I can only hope revealing Putin's love with not endear him to this community, but I strive for integrity. I show the truth - I don't care about spin.

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:29

bird.

Putin's name is literally the words "PUT" "IN" (LMAO( except pronounced weirdly

Pronounced weirdly? Fetish? Youe'r the journalist, you tell me!

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:29

Miss Psychosis

pre:

PUTIN: What is this? What is this?!

SOLDIER: You've been doxxed sir.

PUTIN: They could not do such a thing. I am well loved. They will be destroyed.

SOLDIER: They've found your posts on pitchfork.

[PUTIN blanches. He knows he will face the repercussions.]

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:38

treasure bear

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:40

Gone Fashing: KEEP POSTIN
I'M STILL LAFFIN

Miss Psychosis posted:

pre:

PUTIN: What is this? What is this?!

SOLDIER: You've been doxxed sir.

PUTIN: They could not do such a thing. I am well loved. They will be destroyed.

SOLDIER: They've found your posts on pitchfork.

[PUTIN blanches. He knows he will face the repercussions.]

lmao

# ? Mar 21, 2015 18:41

Miss Psychosis

pre:

[ON SET. PUTIN and DOG are preparing for their photoshoot.]

PUTIN: This dog. It is very cute.

MANAGER: Yes, that what he's here for. 

PUTIN: I shall hold him?

MANAGER: Of course.

PUTIN: Very good... Very very good.

DOG: I didn't know I was working with a dictator to try and create empathy. This is against my morals, as an individual and an actor.

[PUTIN tranqs DOG]

PUTIN: let us begin.

We even have the photo.

# ? Mar 21, 2015 19:04

Miss Psychosis

pre:

PUTIN: How are they finding these transcripts?

SOLDIER: I do not know, Sir.

PUTIN: Do we have a mole, hmm?

SOLDIER: We do not, Sir.

PUTIN: And how would you know this?

SOLDIER: You outlawed them, Sir.

[Putin smiles. He begins planning his next move - He will outlaw doxxing.]

Miss Psychosis fucked around with this message at 19:08 on Mar 21, 2015

# ? Mar 21, 2015 19:05

Al Borland: by XyloJW

водка пить, блевать , и пить снова!

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Mar 21, 2015 19:06

joke_explainer

Hm, I didn't think I'd find anything, but this looks pretty suspicious:

# ? Mar 21, 2015 19:20

Al Borland: by XyloJW

joke_explainer posted:

Hm, I didn't think I'd find anything, but this looks pretty suspicious:

lol

----------------
This thread brought to you by a tremendous dickhead!

# ? Mar 21, 2015 19:21

Miss Psychosis

joke_explainer posted:

Hm, I didn't think I'd find anything, but this looks pretty suspicious:

# ? Mar 21, 2015 19:22

cuntman.net

lol at everything

# ? Mar 21, 2015 19:28

Bwee

This thread owns

# ? Mar 21, 2015 20:12

mags: Can't post for 2 hours!

kimjonggrillin haha

paul_soccer12 posted:

everyone in the idf must die

(USER WAS PERMABANNED FOR THIS POST)

# ? Mar 21, 2015 20:25

Miss Psychosis

pre:

EDITOR: What did you find?

MP: We've found his personal FaceBook.

EDITOR: Anything good?

MP: Not particularly. It's locked down. We need an in.

EDITOR: I know just the woman.

[EDITOR begins dialing on his iPhone.]

MP: You can't be serious.

EDITOR: She's everyones friend.

MP: You can't bring her into this. It's going to get messy.

EDITOR: It's already messy.

pre:

Oh my god! She finally added me!
                        /
                       /     FluffieDuckie... This is cause for celebration.
                      /         \

# ? Mar 21, 2015 20:36

Looke

putin posted:

lmfao come at me byob, u can't dox the doxxmasta

# ? Mar 21, 2015 21:08

City of Glompton

TWIST FIST posted:

lol at everything

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Mar 21, 2015 21:27

problematic hug

Bwee posted:

This thread owns

# ? Mar 21, 2015 21:44

Salmiakki

TWIST FIST posted:

lol at everything

https://twitter.com/sallymiakki
ty cat dynamite

# ? Mar 21, 2015 21:58

joke_explainer

Weird... the full force of the russian offensive wasn't really known on may 25th, but in fluffie's AV workshop thread:

you guys don't think Putin For Real Tho is... could it be??

# ? Mar 21, 2015 22:15

Miss Psychosis

joke_explainer posted:

Weird... the full force of the russian offensive wasn't really known on may 25th, but in fluffie's AV workshop thread:

you guys don't think Putin For Real Tho is... could it be??

Holy poo poo lmao

# ? Mar 21, 2015 22:17

FartGhost

joke_explainer posted:

Weird... the full force of the russian offensive wasn't really known on may 25th, but in fluffie's AV workshop thread:

you guys don't think Putin For Real Tho is... could it be??

# ? Mar 21, 2015 22:18

joke_explainer

i did some more digging. its getting scary. I guessed the account's password ('putinsosexy' :rolleyes:

). The pms were empty, all of them deleted, except one that had some goons username / passwords in it. I thought maybe he had phished their accounts somehow, but check this out in one of them:

# ? Mar 21, 2015 22:45

joke_explainer

Here's his AV, maybe he reused it on other parts of the web?

# ? Mar 21, 2015 22:46

Miss Psychosis

pre:

EDITOR: What the hell?

MP: Yes. A murder plot.

EDITOR: Are you loving with me? Do you have verification?

MP: Yes, we gained access to Putin's own SA account. 

EDITOR: Who made the break?

[MP pauses, wondering if she should lie.]

MP: it was Security Drone.

EDITOR: You have got to be kidding me. After the Nuclear Power scandal he's still in investigative?

MP: No. This is freelance.

EDITOR: God help us all.

# ? Mar 21, 2015 22:53

Piso Mojado

*empty quoting every post itt*

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:04

Scaly Haylie

Piso Mojado posted:

*empty quoting every post itt*

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:05

Putin For Real Tho

This is nonsense. I do not have plat. Why would you treat a 'Postin' Pal' this way? Let's forget such accusations.

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:13

Miss Psychosis

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:15

landy.

Piso Mojado posted:

*empty quoting every post itt*

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:22

Salmiakki

Putin For Real Tho posted:

This is nonsense. I do not have plat. Why would you treat a 'Postin' Pal' this way? Let's forget such accusations.

Miss Psychosis posted:

https://twitter.com/sallymiakki
ty cat dynamite

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:26

Salmiakki

putin are the accusations of you being julius caesar true

https://twitter.com/sallymiakki
ty cat dynamite

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:27

Putin For Real Tho

Salmiakki posted:

putin are the accusations of you being julius caesar true

Ah, ha ha... yes. I have read that one. Good question. But no, not the actual Caesar, just superior Soviet cloning technology. Some would say... better than Caesar?? Of course this is just what I've heard. He is a powerful man, brilliant, handsome and so strong. Perhaps we should use this thread to view any of his very tasteful photo ops?

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:32

cuntman.net

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:33

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# ? May 7, 2024 17:46

Putin For Real Tho

Dabs. 420. I understand this community, and am a member of it. Such a man wouldn't order the brutal murder of a journalist. I only regret I did not produce a quilt square in time to be included on the quilt...

# ? Mar 21, 2015 23:35

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > The DOXXING of Vladmir Putin.

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