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Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.
Oh she is so not more irritating. Robin isn't even more irritating than money grubbing girl.

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Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Thesaya posted:

Oh she is so not more irritating. Robin isn't even more irritating than money grubbing girl.

I know, right? Karin hasn't even beaten that stupid sailor uniform cape thing Makoto wears.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


STOP TAKING THE CONVERSATION IN CIRCLES gently caress!

I mean I know "it was <x>!" "<x>!? you mean the <x> that <y>!?" is a language thing in Japanese but this is loving ridiculous!

Zain
Dec 6, 2009

It's only forever, not long at all
This really is like a Metal Gear Solid RPG with the talking in circles thing.

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat
Well, this Update! has us successfully leave the Dam, which is good. I was getting sick of all that water.

7: The Nameless Dead

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Swimming is good and fun and you should do it :)

Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.
The concept of people not knowing how to swim baffles me. It is just such an integrated part of growing up in Sweden to have swimming lessons. I would be suprised if I know a single (Swedish) person who doesn't know how to.

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Thesaya posted:

The concept of people not knowing how to swim baffles me. It is just such an integrated part of growing up in Sweden to have swimming lessons. I would be suprised if I know a single (Swedish) person who doesn't know how to.

Well, that's because to go to school in Sweden, you probably need to cross a couple fjords and raid Europe. In most of the US, the water's far enough away that swimming's basically a sport. Doesn't explain Hawaii though.

Anyways, we're going to have a shopping section, because there are nearly a dozen golems we could make, along with new weapons which cost gems too. I can't see exactly what the skills the golems have before making them, but I'll give what I think they do. If anyone wants to make a shopping list, they can. Otherwise, think up good names for the golems you want and I'll try to get as many of them as possible.

Right now we have:
Power Gems: 93
Mind Gems: 26
Speed Gems: 4 (gently caress you game, give them out evenly as rewards, or even better give out the types I have the least of)

Extra gems can be bought for 150tb, but we can't afford to buy a whole bunch of them and golems/skills/weapons without going broke.

Golems for sale/picked up

Dariaslez
Cost: 2 Power, 6 Mind, 8 Speed

The first golem we picked up we can't afford. Wonderful. Dariaslez has a more powerful version of the 4x1 attack Crossfire-chan has, but the reason she's interesting is because she has some decent offensive buffing abilities, if I remember correctly. She also has a healthy amount of EP and HP to last in a longer fight, but isn't good at 1-turning.

Lord Onyx
Cost: 12 Power, 2 Mind, 4 Speed

Lord Onyx is an up-close brawler, I believe. One of his attacks might go back a bit, but he's focused on being at the front. He'll do pretty respectable damage, but out of the box can only attack twice before getting exhausted. It should be able to go to 3 attacks quickly, but he's still not got a lot of staying power.

Crazy Pizza
Cost: 8 Power, 0 Mind, 2 Speed

It's a walking, talking pizza that gives people sauce burns. It can also heat itself up to do even more damage. That should be all you need to know.

Sasquatch
Cost: 32 Power, 10 Mind, 0 Speed

Sasquatch, in addition to having a perfectly proportionate cost for the gems we have, is a massive beast. Literally. It takes up a 2x2 space on the battlefield and can still only move 2 spaces. So because you need open spaces to move to, he ends up being a giant obstacle. It's worth it though; Sasquatch is good enough to solo most of the fights we're facing. It has massive stats and Ice Giga Blow hits just about everything. There aren't any tactics with this golem, it's just a bunch of standing still and punching each other until they fall down

Plant Guardian
Cost: 4 Power, 2 Mind, 0 Speed

This is the golem we were fighting as a tutorial at the start of the game. It's even more useless now than it was back then.

Tiem-Tops
Cost: 0 Power, 4 Mind, 4 Speed

Maybe at the start of the game there would have been some use to this green blob. Probably not though, it dies to a stiff breeze and deals poo poo for damage. But it does have some defensive buffs, which makes it better than Plant Guardian.

Angelina
Cost: 0 Power, 8 Mind, 0 Speed

This is one of the starting golems we could have gotten instead of Roy. It deals piddly damage, but can provide defense and healing. But even if it had been with us from the start we'd be interested in replacing it.

Daisy Blue
Cost: 12 Power, 4 Mind, 8 Speed

:catstare: Well, it's actually pretty reasonable. It puts out respectable damage with the EP to do so forever and the HP to maybe live to continue doing so. Just... if only it had any other model.

Werewolf
Cost: 4 Power, 0 Mind, 12 Speed

Now this is something I'm interested in. If only we could afford to get it. The High Air Blow will actually do about double the damage of Air Force, but it's at least the theoretical ability to cover most of the field. And I have no clue what Recover Body does.

Mage Guardian
Cost: 0 Power, 20 Mind, 0 Speed

If you ever dreamed of ranged support, Mage Guardian has it. An incredibly strong single target attack at a distance, and a weaker one that can hit a decent area if the enemies are grouped up. Rumors exist of a third skill, but I've never believed it.

Rio Mimoza
Cost: 0 Power, 4 Mind, 12 Speed

Golems focused on healing are pretty poor, since healing's free if you win and spending the time to not die costs VP anyways. And offense is better enough than defense that it's hard to keep things alive through healing. At least HP Drain Dance also deals damage to them?

So after that dump, get your shopping on.

Zanzibar Ham
Mar 17, 2009

You giving me the cold shoulder? How cruel.


Grimey Drawer
Crazy Pizza - Dinosaur

Lord Onyx - He looks very Dark Soulish, doesn't he? Maybe Tarkus would work as a name.

Plant Guardian - Dummy

Mage Guardian - Polehead

Werewolf - No name idea, but what's with the hair?

Arsonist Daria
Feb 27, 2011

Requiescat in pace.

Istvun posted:

Well, that's because to go to school in Sweden, you probably need to cross a couple fjords and raid Europe. In most of the US, the water's far enough away that swimming's basically a sport. Doesn't explain Hawaii though.

This really isn't necessarily true; even if you aren't near the ocean there's a good chance you're close to a lake or at least a river. Even if you aren't, it's not like pools are an uncommon thing. Sure, a lot of them aren't deep, but they're usually deep enough to get the idea.

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Use that werewolf
Forever.

Rename him Paul Pheonix if you can.

Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.

Istvun posted:

Well, that's because to go to school in Sweden, you probably need to cross a couple fjords and raid Europe. In most of the US, the water's far enough away that swimming's basically a sport. Doesn't explain Hawaii though.

Norway's the one with the fjords, we only have one. We do however has thousands of lakes everywhere, so you are right when it comes to that. Also the raiding Europe thing, all Scandinavians has to do that, at least if you live on the coast.

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Mehuyael posted:

Werewolf - No name idea, but what's with the hair?

I think it's supposed to be trailing behind him in battles, it just starts off looking like that. And how could I not use that as the picture?

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

How fluffy is the Sasquatch?

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Crazy Pizza, Onyx, Sasquatch and Werewolf

Some Numbers
Sep 28, 2006

"LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"
Crazy Pizza's name needs to be Pagliacci

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Some Numbers posted:

Crazy Pizza's name needs to be Pagliacci

But Some Numbers, I am Pagliacci.

OmanyteJackson
Mar 18, 2012

by Nyc_Tattoo


werewolf

Zain
Dec 6, 2009

It's only forever, not long at all

OmanyteJackson posted:

Werewolf image

werewolf

That... That isn't a graphical glitch?

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat
Hairwolf.

We've got some hot takes in this next Update! And the story of this game legitimately impresses us.

8: Man Always Stuck At "Just Friends"

We're recording tomorrow, and if there are gems left over from what people tell me to buy I'll probably be spending them on my favorites (Mage Guardian).

GirlCalledBob
Jul 17, 2013
My brother used to have this game, I remember it being actually pretty fun to play. But we ran up against what was either a game breaking bug or just the game being really, really bad at telling us where to go next, so I'm curious to see how the rest of the game goes.

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat
So, in this Update! we find ourselves stuck by the one thing we can't beat: random rocks lying on the road.

9: Fire Temple

Also, I'm going to be flying halfway across the country in a couple of weeks and won't be able to bring the computer I'm recording with, so the plan is for us to build up a pretty hefty buffer before then.

Zain
Dec 6, 2009

It's only forever, not long at all
So the werewolf seems lackluster sadly. You should use the catgirl instead.

SelenicMartian
Sep 14, 2013

Sometimes it's not the bomb that's retarded.

Zain posted:

So the werewolf seems lackluster sadly. You should use the catgirl instead.
But its rear end hair is so ridiculously long...

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Zain posted:

So the werewolf seems lackluster sadly. You should use the catgirl instead.

Never. Except maybe in this Update! I don't remember exactly. But if so then never again!

10: ĄDown In Front!

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


Man this game loves wasting your time, huh? Are the new golems unlocked by finding them and by plot progression?

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

SSNeoman posted:

Man this game loves wasting your time, huh? Are the new golems unlocked by finding them and by plot progression?

New golems appear in the shop based on plot progression, I'm pretty sure. And there are the golems we wander into that are scattered all around.

Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.
I am starting to get seriously bored by all the battles... They seem so same-y to me.

Some Numbers
Sep 28, 2006

"LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"

Thesaya posted:

I am starting to get seriously bored by all the battles... They seem so same-y to me.

Istvun and I express a similar sentiment at some point. The encounter rate is way way too high.

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Some Numbers posted:

Istvun and I express a similar sentiment at some point. The encounter rate is way way too high.

Though even the long battles get over pretty quickly. I'm definitely a fan of that part.

Thesaya
May 17, 2011

I am a Plant.

Some Numbers posted:

Istvun and I express a similar sentiment at some point. The encounter rate is way way too high.

Maybe you could start cutting some of them out?
I mean, it wouldn't help with your problem but... :j:

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Thesaya posted:

Maybe you could start cutting some of them out?
I mean, it wouldn't help with your problem but... :j:

We've already recorded a few hours ahead because I'm going to be away from my computer and we needed a buffer. I could give it a try after then and see if it'd be better with some battles edited out.

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat
In this Update! we'll be enjoying a fabulous winter wonderland and surely having a great time.

11: Man Who Saw Yokohama

Some Numbers
Sep 28, 2006

"LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"
I actually managed to forget how bad the encounter rate was through that last session.

Also, I reveal how little I know about chemistry.

Some Numbers fucked around with this message at 16:40 on May 4, 2015

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Some Numbers posted:

I actually managed to forget how bad the encounter rate was through that last session.

I swear it has to vary by locale or something, because here it was just horrible and in other places it was totally fine.

I did forget about the battle two steps from the last one though, that was a quality kick in the nuts.

Seraphic Neoman
Jul 19, 2011


But you can use elctrolysis to separate water into hydrogen and oxygen!

Stormgale
Feb 27, 2010

Some Numbers posted:

I actually managed to forget how bad the encounter rate was through that last session.

Would you say there had been some number of encounters in this area?

Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Stormgale posted:

Would you say there had been some number of encounters in this area?

Probably fewer than three.

Anyways, I have a new Update! in which I find out how much those other guys have been dragging me down.

12: Aqua Jelly

Because I'm going to be away for the next few weeks, we recorded an extra couple sessions of episodes and can space them out to about twice a week instead of the 3x a week we have been trying (and often totally failing) to do.

Some Numbers
Sep 28, 2006

"LET'S GET DOWN TO WORK!!"

Istvun posted:

Because I'm going to be away for the next few weeks

You say going away, I say coming home.

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Istvun
Apr 20, 2007


A better world is just $69.69 away.

Soiled Meat

Some Numbers posted:

You say going away, I say coming home.

What is the nature of existence, ultimately?

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