BooLoo posted:

quirex fingering the wrong hole and making a lady cry in burger king.


At least I think it was him.

Valeyard posted:

graph posted:

that might have been the same person who left their apt door unlocked and got their zune stolen

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

what was the one that caught fire a lot and came preloaded with illegal pornography

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

what was the one that caught fire a lot and came preloaded with illegal pornography

BooLoo posted:

quirex fingering the wrong hole and making a lady cry in burger king.


At least I think it was him.

Jonny 290 posted:

forums.somethingawful.com

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

there's a heavy knocking at the front door. you walk over to open it, but just as you're about to reach for the knob the door busts wide open. it leaves a nasty dent on the wall. it's tom collins. you start to yell, but he whips out an expandable baton and suddenly your head is exploding in pain and you're on the ground moaning in agony and everything's whirling around you. a heavy grunt and some rough manhandling quickly divest you of your trousers. you try to resist but he just shoves your face back onto the floor. panting real hard from all this hard work, he puts on his best gruff-sounding voice.

"i'm your boss now, bitch."

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

there's a lot of thrusting but eventually tom comes to the unwelcome realization that his member is too short to fully penetrate your blubbery buttocks. he roughly shoves your legs wide open and punches you in the nuts a couple of times before getting up, spitting, and leaving. as he crosses the threshold, he flips an envelope over his shoulder back into your home. trembling, you open the envelope to find a printed note - headed with "New Text Document(17).txt" - containing a brief message:

"your fired"

Farmer Crack-rear end posted:

quote:

1. Tag NWS stuff - Links, images, whatever; it must be tagged as such.
2. FYAD rules apply - no files/homegrown/hacks/etc.
3. Threads must have a clear relation to SH/SC - If it isn't about computery-type poo poo, it doesn't belong in here. The guidelines for topics are the same as SH/SC.
4. No namedrop/circlejerk/meta threads.
5. No callout threads - Unless they are terrifically funny and limited only to YOSPOS.
6. Don't spam threads - Don't overuse images, emotes, text, links, etc.
7. No posting anime - No OS-tans, no dickgirls loving a floppy drive, etc.
8. Catchphrases - Still not funny.
9. Racism - Racial slurs like the n-word are prohibited if they're in the thread title. Excessive use in other posts is also punishable. Obviously joking one-offs are usually okay, but use at your own peril.
10. Signatures - Signatures may only be a total of 300px high and a few lines of text. No [timg] tags are allowed in signatures to circumvent this, either. They can also not be wide enough to break the tables.
11. Exploits - Just because there's some lol Firefox or IE exploit you can exhibit by posting an image link or some poo poo, DO NOT POST INVOKE IT IN YOSPOS. You'll get banned for doing something so stupid.

mons all madden posted:
rule #69: yospos is the best fyad-lite


Lord Rumples Shoppe posted:
12. Apple rules and thats the most important rule
13. Flash is liked only by the very very stupid and the very very old, occasionally both at once
14. Rotor is old jokes are bannable finally
15. LF Posts are bannable, computer nerds are always wrong about everything steeped in morality
16. No exploitzzzz
17. There is to be exceptionally limited partying but when we party we will NO gently caress YOU YOU RETARD THERE'S NO ANDREW WK RULE THIS ISNT GBS GTFO
18. Lowtax needs a lot more money now that he only gets to keep half of his, so get to buying yourselves pretty new avatars
19. Anime is still bannable
19a. Anime avatars is bannable
20.
960x402 image automatically resized - click for big

21. yospos is cock solid for reals
22. Racisim is now bannable in yospos unless it's really funny so for instance "friend of the family" is no good but "doublenigger" is a-ok
23. No sulk (Note that I am not saying "sulks," sulk should just get out forever)
24. WOW is ok but really keep your wow-based avatars to ycs or games or gbs ok dont bring them here, if it keeps up we're gonna unify wow and anime
$15 by order of the council of elders, moose milkie is no longer a bad poster, he is now 'middlin tier'
25. yospos thunderdome once a month to pit bad posters against each other for the reward of not being banned
26. If you every say the unlucky number you will receive a weeks probation do not say it or put it in posts or include it in images do not allow it to cast its unlucky shadow upon ye
27. post post post post post post post post post
28. clams is rocks with food inside
29. Janin is required to post one "embarrassing story of when i was an intern in redmond" every week in a thread with the same title
30. SHAMEFUL SNIPES IS BANNABLE
30a. A snipe is shameful if a poster alley oop he own snipe, or make the post before the alley oop post
30b. A snipe is shameful if a poster edit in he snipe remark after making a new page post accidentally. it's ok if you dont snipe, BUT DONT YOU BRING SHAME TO THE GAME WITH SOME NINJA EDIT poo poo
31. Shaggar may only mention silverlight on dates which are primes, anything else will result in he being probated until the next prime date
32. Thunderbolt is the best display connection technology available, don't even loving argue
33. Whitenoise posters will be given a moderator challenge to assert and defend a debatable point of technology usage or supremacy, failing to win the thread will result in a two month probation. WHITENOISE AT YOUR EXTREME RISK
34. the best one of any threads posted at exactly 4:20 am or pm on friday is stickied for a week.
35. WOZATARS OWN Anyone making a disparaging remark about a proper WOZATAR shall suffer EXTREME UNCTION
36. NO POORS! If you are poor keep your poor dirty trap shut about it
37. clamiam is mentally handicapped and we should stop making fun of she/he/it
38. you are of course allowed to quote thing you are down with or for other reasons. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BEG FOR QUOTES WITH "QTIYD" AND TO DO SO IS SHAMEFUL. Shameful posters will be dealt with harshly
39. any box full of five pounds of seething black thoraxes and mandibles is hysterical
40. StarTrek DS9 was ok, NOT GREAT OR ANYTHING, just ok. All other startrek's are horrible and should be ignored completely as the provenance of nerds too nerdy to be seen even here. docevil gifs excluded.
41. Do not link to gawker media sites, reddit, or huffington post. They are the worst three things on the internet and are shameful.
42. YOSPOS Integrated Circuit Court justice system shall operate under 'unfunny until proven funny' when hearing cases.
43. Rules 12-42 are unofficial rules and you may get banned for them at any time, or you might not. Try your luck.

graph posted:

someone admitted to ditching a date by escaping thru the restaurant bathroom window

infernal machines posted:

http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3459842&userid=0&perpage=40&pagenumber=1

PleasureKevin posted:

many many years ago a guy made a gbs thread saying he saw a guy with an SA keychain on the bus and said hi. the guy apparently invited him over, but then started going crazy so he has to jump out the second story window. there was a big witch hunt for the guy who did it but then some people cast doubt on his story (which was also in the news) and he was banned by lowtax. thank you for reading.

graph posted:

someone admitted to ditching a date by escaping thru the restaurant bathroom window

BooLoo posted:

that was crip eating bread and he admitted to it while trying to impress everyone with his okcupid script. I'm pretty sure I've seen him quote himself about it in the grey forums.

graph posted:

someone admitted to ditching a date by escaping thru the restaurant bathroom window