Ask a Cop - All Cops Are Beannieson - The Something Awful Forums

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goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Captain Bravo posted:

Note to self: If three men in a south Texas parking lot ask me for a ride, say no.

pussy

# ¿ May 23, 2015 17:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ¿ May 12, 2024 15:16

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:

paul blart

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rN7pkFNEg5c#t=180

# ¿ May 24, 2015 18:16

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

ah yes the tittie twister compliance hold

# ¿ Jun 19, 2015 05:52

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

The fact the mag was pulled somehow makes this even worse. Someone we trust to protect a senator literally thought this was a good idea. Double loving lol if there was a round still in the chamber.

# ¿ Jun 20, 2015 20:57

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

yet another reason why american police shouldn't have guns

# ¿ Jul 1, 2015 01:43

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Hey his text clearly states he's not racist, maybe he just really likes skulls and the 15th century.

# ¿ Jul 5, 2015 21:48

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Bernard/Hezzy, please comment:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64WBNa6Jl0w

# ¿ Jul 6, 2015 05:00

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

I'm not usually a huge fan of the cops beating the poo poo out of people, but exceptions can be made.

# ¿ Jul 17, 2015 16:32

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Yeah but its Ferguson, there's probably a similar statistic involving fire hoses. Reminder that they charged a guy with destruction of public property when he bled on a cop's uniform after the cops beat the poo poo out of him.

# ¿ Jul 19, 2015 00:35

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

she sounds like an entitled psycho bitch, maybe the cop escalated needlessly but if a cop asks you to put out your smoke you should probably just do it

also lol at the idea that they killed her to cover up the video of officer poor deescalation skills hurting her fee fees

# ¿ Jul 25, 2015 00:29

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Patrick Spens posted:

Why?

because police officers love beatings

im not 100% on this though so please youtube some sov citzen shitwhere you totally own that county deputy and dont cut out the part where you get tased

# ¿ Jul 26, 2015 07:11

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

how do you feel about minorities?

e: gently caress

# ¿ Jul 28, 2015 14:35

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

mah ~~puckins~~ forum

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 14:59

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCozh_vbYdM&t=220s

If tazing a sovereign citizen in the nuts is improper use of a taser, I don't want any of you to be right.

# ¿ Jul 30, 2015 19:47

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

I for one welcome our new mugger overlords.

# ¿ Jul 31, 2015 20:50

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

I'll defer to the actual cops in this thread, but how likely is it that he NDed with his finger on the trigger when it shouldn't have been and the car pulling out hitting his hand?

I ask because that's the only logical not guilty of e:~~murder~~ anything plan for his defense.

e is a brainfart, ill let my stupidity stay in the record

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 08:27

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Vahakyla posted:

Most of em. Sorry I'm not a shut in nerd.

Can you shed any light on how much bribe money a weekend in South America costs? Please be specific with countries, urban/rural, and whether you tipped in USD or <local>.

# ¿ Aug 1, 2015 16:34

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

So apparently Santa Ana PD heard about cell phone cameras getting tossed and decided to take it to the next level. Link has video.

http://arstechnica.com/tech-policy/2015/08/cops-filmed-behaving-badly-say-pot-shops-camera-illegally-recorded-raid/ posted:

Did you hear the one about the cops not wanting to use a store's surveillance tape to help solve a crime?

Who could blame these Santa Ana cops? Video shows them smashing surveillance cameras, badmouthing a woman in a wheelchair, and perhaps even munching on marijuana-infused products after they stormed a medical marijuana shop in Southern California, which was being investigated for allegedly operating unlawfully in the city.

Three of the unidentified cops are demanding that a judge block the police department from using the tapes against them as the department investigates the officers' conduct during the May raid. The cops at the center of the investigation say the Sky High Medical Marijuana Dispensary illegally recorded them because the officers believed they had disabled all the store's cameras and therefore had an expectation of privacy "that their conversations were no longer being recorded," according to the cops' Aug. 5 lawsuit. (PDF) The suit says the tapes were also "edited" and cannot be relied upon.

A hearing on the issue is scheduled for Monday in Orange County Superior Court.

The dispensary's attorney, Matthew Pappas, said in a telephone interview with Ars that "there is nothing doctored in those videos. Those videos are what the officers did."

"If officers concerned about the video showing something done being bad by them, they should not have broken the law during the raid," Pappas said.

The video shows the officers breaking through the door, ordering everybody down to the ground at gunpoint. The officers are also recorded playing darts and perhaps eating edible marijuana products. Two of them also joked about a wheelchair-bound amputee who was at the shop.

"Did you punch that one-legged old Benita?" one officer says.

Another replied: "I was about to kick her in her loving nub:"

Pappas said he released two edited, short versions of the tapes to the media, one of which had added subtitles. But there is 14 hours worth of raw footage he turned over to the Santa Ana internal affairs investigators.

The three police officers trying to quash the tape contend the recording was illegal because, under California law, all parties to a confidential communication must consent to the recording.

Pappas said there are signs throughout the store notifying patrons that they were being monitored on video.

"This is outrageous," he said.

Pappas is suing (PDF) the department in federal court on behalf of the marijuana collective, and some of its patrons. The collective claims officers "were intentionally destructive and destroyed video surveillance equipment, safes, furniture, fixtures, doors, and other property at the collective." What's more, during the raid, "officers consumed food products that were the property of the collective," according to the suit.

Some of the patrons allege they "were detained for hours and placed in fear by officers."

# ¿ Aug 14, 2015 20:13

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Cop gay. So What posted:

justice is black and white

# ¿ Aug 16, 2015 17:25

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

https://www.facebook.com/BeavertonPoliceDepartment/posts/346485752040659

No unfortunately its not that Mike Rowe.

# ¿ Aug 16, 2015 20:48

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

marshall law had like 30 triangles

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZfGleo1qZT8

(also this is how i imagine your irl job, a guy named law kicking the poo poo out of a black dude)

# ¿ Aug 17, 2015 01:51

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

And that might be part of the problem. When most people hear 25 years, they think the person is going to be in prison for 25 years. If most prisoners only serve a fraction of their actual sentence, maybe sentences in general need to come down to reflect the reality of our justice system. Instead of getting sentenced to 25 years and getting out in 9, maybe sentence them to 10 and out in 9?

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 14:30

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

I hadn't thought about that, thanks.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 14:54

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Yeah and you can still 'confiscate' weed from teenagers, so cops still have their hookup intact.

# ¿ Aug 20, 2015 18:03

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Teflon Don posted:

I don't know why they don't use a Ouija board instead of a polygraph, the effect is the same.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AJ5aIvjNgao&t=109s

# ¿ Aug 26, 2015 18:09

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Branis posted:

Hey man I just wanted to help some poor southern guy fulfill his dream, how was I to know he was gonna turn into an incompetent racist redneck?

# ¿ Sep 2, 2015 14:36

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Two Finger posted:

Best tcc story is still the one where they were all eyeballing doses of some Russian drug and one blacked out for a week only to find a message from his girl's dad saying he would call the police if he ever contacted her again

Archived thread: http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3230894

My favorite poster:

Wickerman's posts posted:

12/1/2009 07:56
I canceled my capsule order because they hosed it up and it took ages (aka 3 weeks to even be ready to ship to me!)

So I mixed up a 2mg/ml solution and I'm going to drop 2mg before I go to work (t-minus 1 hour.)

---

12/1/2009 16:01
So I ended up dropping 1mg, waiting a half hour, then dropping 1.5mg. A lot of clumsiness, people accusing me of being drunk at work, etc. Not a whole lot in the way of memory loss. Considering dosing 4mg tomorrow morning first thing, thoughts?

---

12/1/2009 18:10
I'm gonna find out, dosing 6mg now.

---

12/3/2009 17:59
been in hospital past two days

no car now

---

12/4/2009 17:16
Apparently I got called to work Wednesday morning, got there, clocked in, took a few orders, was told to go home. on way home, I wrecked, flipping my car and breaking a wheel off. got taken to a local commmunity hospital, life-flighting to a bigger one and that takes up all of thursday. last night appartently i tried to kill myself with 12 percocets (i got them as pain meds for my wreck) and herei am now

no car, no pain meds, and no telephones

i flushed the rest of my phenazepam, gently caress that poo poo right good.

dont do this you just forget days of your life and get clumsy, not a fun drug

---

12/17/2009 16:42
Figured I'd follow up on this. Since I forget December 1st - December 4thish, here's the entire story.

I dosed 2.5mg on December 1st, and then went to work. I don't remember much else about this day, pretty sure nothing big happened.

Wednesday, 11:00am: I dose 6mg.

Wednesday, 11:40am: I leave my house in my work clothes, wearing no shoes.

Wednesday, 11:55am: I arrive at work, apparently after swerving all over the road and almost hitting a telephone pole near our local library.

The telephone pole is on the right side of the road, in-between the road and the library. According to a friend who witnessed me driving to work, he thought I was going to the library.

Wednesday, 12:00pm - 12:07pm: I apparently have not only fallen down, but passed out. The big cheese is at work currently, but from what I recall has said nothing to me. A lower manager asks me to go sit down because I am apparently hosed up. I, instead, walk out to my car and proceed to head home.

Wednesday, 12:13pm: According to the State Highway Patrol's report, I struck a deer and went off the right side of the road. I then took out a 10 foot tall advertisement sign, ramped my SUV (an Oldsmobile Bravada) up a dead tree, flipping it on its left side. I remember the car being sideways, and having a cracked windshield.

Wednesday, between 12:15 and 12:30pm: Someone helps me out my passenger door and sits me in their car until the squads arrive.

Wednesday, before nighttime: I call my work and tell them I got in a car accident, effectively freaking them out. I also threaten to kill my lesser manager for loving with my family (I have no clue how that even makes sense.) I am taken to [LOCAL HOSPITAL HERE], apparently complaining about stomach and elbow pains. Doctors fear internal injuries, and determine that I should be life-flighted to a bigger hospital. Bad weather prevents me from being flown, and I must be taken via ambulance to a bigger hospital.

Wednesday, during the transfer: Two paramedics administer 200mcg of Dilaudid to me, and I remember having a normal conversation with them, just not what it was about.

Wednesday, sometime between 3pm and 9pm, at [BIGGER HOSPITAL HERE]: I am admitted with bradycardia (HELLO OPIATES AND BENZOS) and vehicular injuries. Apparently my sister comes into my room, crying and screaming. I eject my family from my hospital room.

Thursday, 4:30pm: I am discharged from [BIGGER HOSPITAL HERE]. I remember not being able to lift my head, and being wheeled out of the hospital without moving any part of my body.

Friday, 1:00am: I consume 12 percocets (prescribed for pain) to try and kill myself.

Friday, 2:30am: I receive activated charcoal and get my stomach pumped.

Friday, 3:xxpm: I am threatened by the hospital's psych that if I don't take some Wellbutrin and Celexa (meds that I was previously on) that I would not be allowed to leave the hospital until the 72 hour observation period ended. I said, gently caress that poo poo and took them.

Friday, 6:30pm: I am discharged from [SMALLER HOSPITAL HERE].

All in all, my medical bills are something of $26,000 and my SUV is totaled. I blew the front two tires (THEY WERE LESS THAN ONE WEEK OLD ) I didn't break any bones, just a few bruises. No citation from the Highway Patrol, nobody else hurt, everybody's happy.

---

12/19/2009 08:56
Alright, so I decided on a route of encapsulation and simply just to see if I can do it, I ordered more. I know this is probably retarded, and I don't intend to consume it for awhile - only equal or less than 2mg/4days for situational anxiety.

I'll let you guys know how I do.

---

12/19/2009 10:14
It'll be fine. I know I dosed way too much previously, so if I encapsulate it it will never get to the "oh hey, one more dropper full won't hurt. Okay maybe one more." stage, as long as my capsules are the proper dosage.

Also, baggie guy added a 200mg baggie - that's what I ordered. So not too much extra product lingering.

THE JOOSE IS LOOSE

goatsestretchgoals fucked around with this message at 20:16 on Sep 16, 2015

# ¿ Sep 16, 2015 20:12

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Branis posted:

we aren't the rabid O.com base

someone should probably let shep know about this

# ¿ Sep 20, 2015 02:32

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Grem posted:

Also buy your own vest, drat. Sounds like that lady was wearing department issued stuff which usually gives you some weird looking belly ledge.

pretty sure that girlcops use that as an excuse for not having tits

please post at least one hot girl police officer that isnt pavel petel

# ¿ Sep 20, 2015 02:47

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Branis posted:

I know they are slavs, but do ukrainain cops count?

i said hot

cantwearglasses and notits arent doing it for me

# ¿ Sep 20, 2015 02:57

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

hi as a freeman upon the land i have a question for the cops in here, on a scale from 9 to 10, how accurate is the following video

http://www.xvideos.com/video10563541/cgdama252

# ¿ Sep 20, 2015 03:04

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

volume please take notes

# ¿ Sep 20, 2015 03:27

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Two Finger posted:

i was watching game of thrones and the fight with the mountain made me think of gip's own mountain

how many skulls do you smash a day

i preferred the alternate version of that fight

# ¿ Sep 28, 2015 18:15

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Branis posted:

pro advice, don't tell federal cops to suck a dick, especially 2 year boots even if they are park police.

compare everything they do to the secret service and how they could never measure up

# ¿ Oct 11, 2015 23:28

goatsestretchgoals: Jun 4, 2011

Booblord Zagats posted:

Meth trailer update: Guy who signed the artwork is buddies with the former owner of the trailer, and drew it before it was sold at auction. I can't have any pictures and the person who bought it at said auction paid cash and gave a false name, the current theory is Mexican Mafia were just using it on BLM land for some nefarious purpose (probably a drop point for smuggling drugs and people)

The Mexican Mafia is known for their love of chubby white girls and murals thereof.

# ¿ Oct 16, 2015 00:09