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What do you do after, having been a peaceful non-believer all your life; you have a crazy religious experience? You read Bibles and form new beliefs of course, I came up with these ones: I believe the most likely explanation for the scriptures of Abrahamic religion is that they were created by the interaction between normal human beings and a super-intelligent benevolent being who exists in a possible future that we are not predestined to reach. I call this super-intelligent being God. I believe God adopted Jesus of Nazareth as His Son using math, instead of calling for more children or doing the nasty with Jesus’ mom like God’s often stereotyped as doing. I believe that God comes into existence through a process called Messiah, and that in any possible future where God exists for certain, I will be regarded as being 33.4% of the Messiah (the other 66.6% being Jesus and his Father). So, I wrote a book all about how I found my crazy new beliefs, including mathematical proof-from-scripture to support my claim, and practical instructions for world peace, since the politicians all seem to be corrupt and/or retarded. I would like some goons to read it and ask me questions, and eventually dispense your fiery Internet justice upon me in whatever way you see fit, and judge whether the most likely possibility is that I am indeed 33.4% of the Messiah. Since I believe God doesn’t exist yet, does that mean I’m an atheist messiah or a theist messiah? Frequently Asked Questions: Someone else should probably do the FAQ once you’ve determined this isn’t some weird scam. Whenever I ask someone if they have any questions, they tell me I seem sane, and then tell me whatever dumb poo poo it is that they believe, so I haven’t had many questions so far. Where do I get the book? I put it on Amazon - US UK CA AU or alternatively Smashwords, so it should be available for all e-readers. What’s the book about? Can you copy and paste the marketing blurb from the Kindle store? This book will make you laugh at least twice, and make you think at least once. You will meet God, who encoded mathematical puzzles and jokes about 21st century Creationists into the Bible. And you might just like Him. You will see a world devoid of God or His justice. And you may feel uncomfortable. You will see Abrahamic religious beliefs get a close shave with Occam’s razor and psychiatric religious beliefs get eviscerated with God’s Word. And you may even think: what if Abrahamic religion is a time travel story about a God who doesn't exist yet? A God whose existence is possible, yet all but impossible without a major change in the way we think about God and consciousness. This is some sort of joke, right? Nope. Do you have magic powers? Do I get magic powers if I read your book? No. Are you nuts? Anyone who believes God already exists suffers from God Delusion. Anyone who believes God isn’t possible has Dawkins Delusion. All other mental illness diagnoses are suspect. I cover my history of crazy in the book. I’m keen to get feedback from people who have been diagnosed though. I poo poo out stuff that is better formatted than your book, do you want to see a picture of my shits? Let me know any errors you see or any e-book tips you have, since I’m completely new to it. Wouldn’t it be awesome if I found a picture of you on social media and posted it here asking if it’s you? Please don’t. Do I have to do stuff or believe stuff? I do not care if you believe in me or God or Jesus or the generally accepted model of mammalian reproductive theory, all I require is a majority of people to accept my dictionary definition update of the word ‘Satan’ so we can stick that fiendish fraud where the sun don’t shine, and cure ourselves of psychiatry and people who think God delegates authority. (USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)
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Apr 3, 2015 07:07
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CannedMeat posted:I would like some goons to read it and ask me questions, and eventually dispense your fiery Internet justice upon me in whatever way you see fit, and judge whether the most likely possibility is that I am indeed 33.4% of the Messiah. Verdict: Guilty Offense: Claptrap Sentence: 
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Apr 3, 2015 07:23
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Nice plug
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Apr 3, 2015 07:25
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I don't want to buy your book. and I didn't read your post.
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Apr 3, 2015 07:26
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you're either a verbose scammer or batshit insane so have fun i guess
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Apr 3, 2015 07:27
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Is it really time for another monthly tryhard atheist thread again?
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Apr 3, 2015 07:29
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lol are you seriously trying to sell a book? you know you can make more money writing erotica ebooks right
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Apr 3, 2015 07:31
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I already paid my  to read insane bullshit - I don't think I need it in ebook form, the forums do just fine.
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Apr 3, 2015 07:33
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this thread is too avant-garde for me.
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Apr 3, 2015 07:34
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CannedMeat posted:cure ourselves of psychiatry 
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Apr 3, 2015 07:41
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Ground floor 
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Apr 3, 2015 07:43
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Oh my, let me go ahead and tuck into this. e: it costs money? Get crushed by a bus
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Apr 3, 2015 07:54
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so is there any way to ~debate and discuss~ your idiocy without paying you ten completely unmerited dollars? the OP of this thread is so pompous and bad i almost want to take up religion. copy+paste your shite screed into pastebin and prove to me this is the wrong decision
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Apr 3, 2015 07:57
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Such cynicism. I never would have expected to find it here of all places.
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Apr 3, 2015 07:57
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Jagchosis posted:lol are you seriously trying to sell a book? you know you can make more money writing erotica ebooks right Make an erotica eBook about the search for a mathematical proof of God's existence.
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Apr 3, 2015 07:58
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Jagchosis posted:so is there any way to ~debate and discuss~ your idiocy without paying you ten completely unmerited dollars? the OP of this thread is so pompous and bad i almost want to take up religion. copy+paste your shite screed into pastebin and prove to me this is the wrong decision Do I have to spend $10 to get private messages? I'll send you a free copy if you promise to buy it if you like it.
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Apr 3, 2015 07:59
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CannedMeat posted:Such cynicism. I never would have expected to find it here of all places. how loving long have you been here?
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Apr 3, 2015 08:00
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ReidRansom posted:how loving long have you been here? I'm pretty new, is there some sort of sarcasm font I was supposed to use so you'd see it?
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Apr 3, 2015 08:04
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So basically I create God with Math.
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Apr 3, 2015 08:06
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CannedMeat posted:I'm pretty new, is there some sort of sarcasm font I was supposed to use so you'd see it? I see. Well in any case I can't imagine anyone expecting it to go any other way.
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Apr 3, 2015 08:10
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ReidRansom posted:I see. Well in any case I can't imagine anyone expecting it to go any other way. You never know, there might be one or two people around who think the world's so screwed up that we're going to have to create God just to un-gently caress things.
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Apr 3, 2015 08:23
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Yessss, my beautiful Kyoon eggs...hatch to the sound of my sexy sax playing...
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Apr 3, 2015 08:25
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Skeesix posted:Make an erotica eBook about the search for a mathematical proof of God's existence. Adding a bed, subtracting clothes, dividing legs and multiplying = "(Oh) God!" Quod erat demonstrandum, bitches 
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Apr 3, 2015 09:32
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Apr 3, 2015 09:37
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Skeesix posted:Make an erotica eBook about the search for a mathematical proof of God's existence. This, but only if it includes a steamy sex scene between CannedMeat and the ghost of Henri Poincaré.
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Apr 3, 2015 10:50
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I gonna torrent your book from priatebay and then I'm not even going to read it.
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Apr 3, 2015 12:26
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Here's a tip, offer your proof there's an invisible sky alien book for free on Amazon, that will help your ratings until people leave reviews.
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Apr 3, 2015 13:33
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Frank Tipler already came up with this idea, OP.
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Apr 3, 2015 13:40
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Tell us more about your religious experience so we can judge you like your made up future math god.
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Apr 3, 2015 13:55
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The future of posting is here. It turns out it's books?!
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Apr 3, 2015 13:57
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I actually read most of the Kindle preview for this book based on the recommendation, Michael! Thanks so much for posting this! I liked the part where in the prologue you say you like switching from referring to yourself from first person to third person and do so repeatedly throughout. This is now totally okay because you warned me about it and not a horrible affectation that makes your book unreadable. Then, with absolute breathlessness, you re-discover the religion of Universalism in an easy-to-understand timecube.com format with charts and everything! Wow! I sure am sorry you lost your job and wrote this book while unemployed, but maybe you would have found a job faster if you had edited your book down from 700 pages of stream-of-conscious to a more manageable 200-300?
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Apr 3, 2015 14:22
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These threads just get worse and worse.
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Apr 3, 2015 16:07
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