|
There's nothing wrong with falling in love with a programming language for her looks. I mean, let's face it - Python does have a rockin' body of modules, and a drat good set of utilities and interpreters on various platforms. Her whitespace-sensitive syntax is easy on the eyes, and it's a beautiful sight to wake up to in the morning after a long night of debugging. The way she sways those releases on a consistent cycle - she knows how to treat you right, you know? But let's face it - a lot of other languages see the attention she's getting, and they get jealous. Really jealous. They try and make her feel bad by pointing out the GIL, and they try and convince her that she's not "good enough" for parallel programming or enterprise-level applications. They say that her lack of static typing gives her programmers headaches, and that as an interpreted language, she's not fast enough for performance-critical applications. She hears what those other, older languages like Java and C++ say, and she thinks she's not stable or mature enough. She hears what those shallow, beauty-obsessed languages like Ruby say, and she thinks she's not pretty enough. But she's trying really hard, you know? She hits the gym every day, trying to come up with new and better ways of JIT'ing and optimizing. She's experimenting with new platforms and compilation techniques all the time. She wants you to love her more, because she cares. But then you hear about how bad she feels, and how hard she's trying, and you just look into her eyes, sighing. You take Python out for a walk - holding her hand - and tell her that she's the most beautiful language in the world, but that's not the only reason you love her. You tell her she was raised right - Guido gave her core functionality and a deep philosophy she's never forgotten. You tell her you appreciate her consistent releases and her detailed and descriptive documentation. You tell her that she has a great set of friends who are supportive and understanding - friends like Google, Quora, and Facebook. And finally, with tears in your eyes, you tell her that with her broad community support, ease of development, and well-supported frameworks, you know she's a language you want to be with for a long, long time. After saying all this, you look around and notice that the two of you are alone. Letting go of Python's hand, you start to get down on one knee. Her eyes get wide as you try and say the words - but she just puts her finger on your lips and whispers, "Yes". The moon is bright. You know things are going to be okay now.
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:41
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 13:37 |
|
|
glossed over this and it doesnt check out because the op is about a plang
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:42
|
|
|
patriarchy joke goes here
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:42
|
|
|
triple sulk posted:glossed over this and it doesnt check out because the op is about a plang im not sure who would even read that whole thing
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:44
|
|
|
PHP is your teenage sweetheart, the girl you first awkwardly fumbled around with that one summer. Just don't try and start a more serious relationship - this girl has serious issues. Perl is PHP's older sister. She might be a bit old for you, but she was pretty popular back in the 90s. In a long-term relationship with Larry Wall, so her standards have dropped, and she's looking seriously fugly now. "I don't care what y'all say, I still love her!", he says. No-one else does. Ruby is the cool kid of the scripting family. When you first saw her, she took your breath away with her beauty. She was fun, too. At the time she seemed a bit slow and ditzy - though she's matured a lot in the last few years. Python is Ruby's more sensible sister. She's elegant, classy, and sophisticated. She's perhaps too perfect. Most guys are like "dude, how can you not like Python!?". Sure, you like Python. You just consider her the boring version of the edgy and romantic Ruby. Java is a successful career woman. Some people who've worked with her feel she owes her position less to ability and more to her knack for impressing the middle-management types. You might feel that she's the sensible type you should settle down with. Just prepare for years of "NO THAT DOESNT GO THERE GOD YOU ALWAYS USE THE WRONG TYPE INTERFACE AND YOU MISSED A SEMICOLON" nagging. C++ is Java's cousin. Similar to Java in many ways, the main difference being she grew up in a more innocent time and doesn't believe in using protection. By "protection", I mean automatic memory management, of course. What did you think I meant? C is C++'s mom. Mention her name to some old grey beard hackers and they're sure to reminisce with a twinkle in their eye. Objective C is another member of the C family. She joined that weird church a while back, and won't date anyone outside of it. Haskell, Clojure, Scheme and their friends are those hipster, artsy, intellectual girls you probably spent a blissful college summer with a few years ago. The first girls who really challenged you. Of course, it could never have become something more serious (you tell yourself). Though you'll always be left asking "what if?" You might be put off C# due to her family's reputation. But they've gone legit, the last few years, they tell you. Once you're one of us, you're one of us, you hear? You need a database? Her brother MSSQL will hook you up. Need a place to stay? Heck, her daddy will even buy you your own mansion on Azure avenue. What's that, you're having second thoughts about all these overly friendly relatives? No, you can never leave. You're part of the family, now, ya hear? Javascript - hey, wasn't that the girl you first kissed, way before even PHP came on the scene? I wonder what she's doing now. I hear her career's really taken off in the last few years. Would be cool to catch up some time, if only for old time's sake... (You catch sight of her, dressed head to toe in designer jQuery)... wow, somebody grew into a beautiful swan...
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:50
|
|
|
currently at work i'm acting as c++ and python's marriage counselor and boy do i wish i could tell them to just get a fuckin divorce and cut their losses
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:54
|
|
|
erlang is a whore that goes dogging
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:55
|
|
|
As a Millennial I posted:currently at work i'm acting as c++ and python's marriage counselor and boy do i wish i could tell them to just get a fuckin divorce and cut their losses lol
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:55
|
|
|
Squinty Applebottom posted:PHP is your teenage sweetheart, the girl you first awkwardly fumbled around with that one summer. Just don't try and start a more serious relationship - this girl has serious issues. 
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 19:59
|
|
|
this checks out
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 20:02
|
|
|
as a C fan this image gives java way too much credit
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 22:08
|
|
|
I liked te two stories and analogies
|
|
#
?
Apr 7, 2015 22:44
|
|
|
I'm in love with qbasic. He is kind of like the homer simpson of programming languages, but god is he good in the sack.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 01:42
|
|
|
you just made me imagine sex with homer simpson and i am not happy with it
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 02:30
|
|
|
Python is beautiful.
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 02:33
|
|
|
A Pinball Wizard posted:you just made me imagine sex with homer simpson and i am not happy with it  http://fap.to/images/full/48/203/2038922111.jpg
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 03:14
|
|
|
|
| # ? May 16, 2024 13:37 |
|
|
C is a big strong lady and you walk meekly behind her everywhere
|
|
#
?
Apr 8, 2015 05:46
|
|
