Let's fix the left.

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Debate & Discussion > Let's fix the left.

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I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

Be completely unable to take a joke. I cannot stress enough how important this one is.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 19:07

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 17:51

Crowsbeak: Oct 9, 2012; by Azathoth; Lipstick Apathy

Effectronica posted:

Kulturkampf - In order to eliminate the cancer of society, hipsters, make banning caramel macciatos and glasses a priority. 50 million swing votes just shot left.

A actual good idea.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 19:20

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

Crowsbeak posted:

A actual good idea.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 19:34

Effectronica: May 31, 2011; Fallen Rib

Small Frozen Thing posted:

Be completely unable to take a joke. I cannot stress enough how important this one is.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 19:37

Pinch Me Im Meming: Jun 26, 2005

Make 3 right turns

# ? Apr 25, 2015 20:55

Pauline Kael: Oct 9, 2012; by Shine

Effectronica posted:

The Power of PR - Hire Jonathan Chait to serve as the Intellectual Laureate of leftism. Failing that, hire someone who can mimic him convincingly.

Effectronica, this really is The Best Thread, well done

# ? Apr 25, 2015 21:06

icantfindaname: Jul 1, 2008

seems the left is unfixable. we need a new socialism. a national socialism, if you will

# ? Apr 25, 2015 21:51

VitalSigns: Sep 3, 2011

icantfindaname posted:

seems the left is unfixable. we need a new socialism. a national socialism, if you will

Start an unwinnable war with most of the other Great Powers - The benefits are too obvious to bother listing

# ? Apr 25, 2015 21:52

Effectronica: May 31, 2011; Fallen Rib

Gamergate - Can someone tell me what the hell this is so we can figure out a way to use it? Thanks.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 21:57

Homura and Sickle: Apr 21, 2013

VitalSigns posted:

Start an unwinnable war with most of the other Great Powers - The benefits are too obvious to bother listing

Bringing it back to Keynesian principles, good idea. Millennials will finally be employed

# ? Apr 25, 2015 21:58

bagual: Oct 29, 2010; _{_{inconspicuous}}

Effectronica posted:

Grow Up - The left, in order to be taken seriously by the people who matter, should abandon the pernicious notion of "equality" and embrace that some people are just better than others.

I thought it was a pretty established fact that leftists are better people than everyone else though?

as for an actual suggestion, Out-capitalist the capitalists, maybe if some sort of socialist country opened markets and got a bigger economy going than all other capitalist countries capitalism would turn into socialism and it'd be like "game over capitalist pigsss" *fistpump*

Also maybe if we opened our own corporations and actually worked to exploit third-world laborers better than those fuckers* we'd beat them at their own game. Of course, the "actually working" bit might be triggering for some, but the proletarian revolution won't file it's own reports.

*old white men

# ? Apr 25, 2015 21:59

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Small Frozen Thing posted:

Be completely unable to take a joke. I cannot stress enough how important this one is.

you are really good at this, Small Frozen Thing

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:07

asdf32: May 15, 2010; I lust for childrens' deaths. Ask me about how I don't care if my kids die.

This probably is the future of the left.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:08

Miltank: Dec 27, 2009; by XyloJW

The left should have used gamer gate as a vehicle for the presentation of hard truths about the nature of consumer culture. Games journalism, like sports journalism and all other mouthpieces for industry, is stupid poo poo for babies.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:12

MLKQUOTEMACHINE: Oct 22, 2012; Some motherfuckers are always trying to ice-skate uphill

Form A Liberal Crime Squad- It has come to my attention that politcians are basically crooks anyway, so the only way to out crook a crook is to be even more crooked. I propose we form a series of leftist ad hoc sleeper cells all around the country whose disparate aims all works towards the one true goal: overthrowing the republican congress and stuffing it with our own Elite Liberals. We can attain this goal in a number of ways, from kidnapping SCOTS judges and brainwashing them to support The Cause to storming police stations and shooting everyone up to proselytizing to prostitutes about the good works of St. Lenin and St. Chomsky.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:13

Effectronica: May 31, 2011; Fallen Rib

Miltank posted:

The left should have used gamer gate as a vehicle for the presentation of hard truths about the nature of consumer culture. Games journalism, like sports journalism and all other mouthpieces for industry, is stupid poo poo for babies.

This is not a joke thread. Please make serious posts only.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:34

Blood Boils: Dec 27, 2006; Its not an S, on my planet it means QUIPS

The Academy - It's time to recognize post-secondary education as the liability to credibility that it is, and sever our ties with it. With universities the Left is a victim of it's own success; our propaganda has so thoroughly penetrated the entire system that was once a battleground of ideas has now become a monolithic and uniform echo chamber, one that will never attract rational free-thinkers. We simply washed their brains too hard! We must acknowledge that people who devote their time to studying a given subject (AKA impressionable young adults and bitter professors without Real Life Experience) are actually the worst sources of perspective on said subject. We must turn to a more objective and balanced source of information: computer engineers slacking at work.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:41

Gantolandon: Aug 19, 2012

All this crap about workers of the world uniting despite their differences is bullshit. The straight black transsexual woman worker is, and always will be, the mortal enemy of the lesbian black transsexual woman worker thanks to the power of privilege. If someone tells you that race is an arbitrary social construct and not important in the big picture, don't listen to them. They are a reactionary and probably a Nazi, because if there is one thing the Nazis are well known of, it's playing down the issue of race.

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:46

Miltank: Dec 27, 2009; by XyloJW

Effectronica posted:

This is not a joke thread. Please make serious posts only.

hmm maybe an iWatch app that shocks its wearer when looking at a woman's titays?

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:46

Miltank: Dec 27, 2009; by XyloJW

A company that contributes a portion of its profit to build wells in Africa?

# ? Apr 25, 2015 22:49

afeelgoodpoop: Oct 14, 2014; by FactsAreUseless

leftist superheros it is the current dejour to relish the heroics of imagined supermen carrying out vigilantism. its time we work to create a learned emotionally intelligent counter example that solves social conflicts through other means than violence. for instance, given projected demographics, lighter skinned inhabitants of some nations are projected to be bred out their place as majority in a fairly quick amount of time. while so many times in history this led to brutal civil conflict, i do believe its possible to instill a passivity to these happenings. I have an amateur example that I believe shows great promise as a prototype.
:nws:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ4zhEfjXqA

# ? Apr 25, 2015 23:06

JT Jag: Aug 30, 2009; #1 Jaguars Sunk Cost Fallacy-Haver

Regulate and modify vehicles so they are incapable of turning left. You know the saying, you don't know what you're missing until it's gone. I project a 100% increase in support of leftism from NASCAR fans as a result.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 00:55

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!

afeelgoodpoop posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ4zhEfjXqA

ahahaha what the gently caress

# ? Apr 26, 2015 01:00

Paolomania: Apr 26, 2006

Effectronica posted:

Gamergate - Can someone tell me what the hell this is so we can figure out a way to use it? Thanks.

Its like the Memories Pizza of the left.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 01:12

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

paragon1 posted:

you are really good at this, Small Frozen Thing

[Gendered slur], I'm an expert.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 02:56

paragon1: Nov 22, 2010; FULL COMMUNISM NOW

Miltank posted:

A company that contributes a portion of its profit to build wells in Africa?

Milktank, please, this is a thread for practical ideas.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:18

wheez the roux: Aug 2, 2004; THEY SHOULD'VE GIVEN IT TO LYNCH

Death to the Seahawks. Death to Seahawks posters.

afeelgoodpoop posted:

leftist superheros it is the current dejour to relish the heroics of imagined supermen carrying out vigilantism. its time we work to create a learned emotionally intelligent counter example that solves social conflicts through other means than violence. for instance, given projected demographics, lighter skinned inhabitants of some nations are projected to be bred out their place as majority in a fairly quick amount of time. while so many times in history this led to brutal civil conflict, i do believe its possible to instill a passivity to these happenings. I have an amateur example that I believe shows great promise as a prototype.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ4zhEfjXqA

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:24

Doc Neutral: Jan 31, 2014

afeelgoodpoop posted:

leftist superheros it is the current dejour to relish the heroics of imagined supermen carrying out vigilantism. its time we work to create a learned emotionally intelligent counter example that solves social conflicts through other means than violence. for instance, given projected demographics, lighter skinned inhabitants of some nations are projected to be bred out their place as majority in a fairly quick amount of time. while so many times in history this led to brutal civil conflict, i do believe its possible to instill a passivity to these happenings. I have an amateur example that I believe shows great promise as a prototype.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ4zhEfjXqA

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:32

Shbobdb: Dec 16, 2010; by Reene

Bring back old superman who fought capitalist. Also old batman, who fought capitalists. And make comic books a relevant medium again.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 03:37

icantfindaname: Jul 1, 2008

Shbobdb posted:

Bring back old superman who fought capitalist. Also old batman, who fought capitalists. And make comic books a relevant medium again.

sorry dude, that spot's been taken by anime and manga. get with the times old man

# ? Apr 26, 2015 05:00

Twinty Zuleps: May 10, 2008; by R. Guyovich; Lipstick Apathy

http://www.nytimes.com/2015/02/15/magazine/how-one-stupid-tweet-ruined-justine-saccos-life.html?_r=0

More activism on social media. This article should have been three times as long. The true colors of these false leftists that are destroying the cause from within must be revealed, at any cost. We can't change anything if we're trying to drag along those that just don't understand.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Apr 26, 2015 07:02

I Killed GBS: Jun 2, 2011; by Lowtax

Completely unironically: Bronies are even worse than furries. They should be purged from the Left with extreme prejudice.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 07:10

Shbobdb: Dec 16, 2010; by Reene

Speaking of fake leftists, we should all put aside our differences and just becomes Sparks.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 07:15

icantfindaname: Jul 1, 2008

the left should form a popular front with the bronies and furries in the name of political expediency, then send them to camps after the revolution

icantfindaname posted:

sorry dude, that spot's been taken by anime and manga. get with the times old man

forgot this. we need a leader to bring the anime revolution forth

icantfindaname fucked around with this message at 07:20 on Apr 26, 2015

# ? Apr 26, 2015 07:15

Creamed Cormp: Jan 8, 2011; by LITERALLY AN ADMIN

Small Frozen Thing posted:

Completely unironically: Bronies are even worse than furries. They should be purged from the Left with extreme prejudice.

I don't think posting normal and widely accepted truth as controversial opinion is a wise thing though.

edit : also the source for what icantfindaname so kindly posted is "Misappropriation Investigator Nakabo Rintaro", if you want to read about manly men punishing bankers, corrupt politicians and yakuzas.

Creamed Cormp fucked around with this message at 10:31 on Apr 26, 2015

# ? Apr 26, 2015 10:25

Number Two Stunna: Nov 8, 2009; FUCK

Small Frozen Thing posted:

Be completely unable to take a joke. I cannot stress enough how important this one is.

Thats not funny.

# ? Apr 26, 2015 10:45

suck my woke dick: Oct 10, 2012; I CANNOT EJACULATE WITHOUT SEEING NATIVE AMERICANS BRUTALISED!

Put this cum-loving slave on ignore immediately!