Register a SA Forums Account here!
JOINING THE SA FORUMS WILL REMOVE THIS BIG AD, THE ANNOYING UNDERLINED ADS, AND STUPID INTERSTITIAL ADS!!!

You can: log in, read the tech support FAQ, or request your lost password. This dumb message (and those ads) will appear on every screen until you register! Get rid of this crap by registering your own SA Forums Account and joining roughly 150,000 Goons, for the one-time price of $9.95! We charge money because it costs us money per month for bills, and since we don't believe in showing ads to our users, we try to make the money back through forum registrations.
 
  • Locked thread
Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Kawasaki Nun posted:

The nightbbefore I had a polygraph I read up about how they're about as accurate as flipping a coin. Didn't instill much confidence in the process when after I had finished the important questions I was informed I would be answering a series of "integrity" questions to measure my moral character

NCIS thought they has me shook

Lol.
I've taken and passed a few polys over the past decade. Last place I worked poly'd me twice before hiring.
Took a poly few months ago for a position with CBP. Polygrapher sketched me out big time. He had long fingernails and seem to make a point of lightly scraping them on my arms while applying the polygraph poo poo.
I passed, after 6 hours, but he wanted me to come back as he "saw deception in the morality section"...
I said gently caress that and withdrew my app.

I ain't gone time fo' that!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

KirbyKhan posted:

Yes, but pay her no more than the standard rate for hookers in your area.

gently caress that she is gonna pay me I'm choice cut grade A beef.

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

ElMaligno posted:

If ya are such a high quality beef them why the gently caress are you in a stripclub and why are you asking advice on how to gently caress on sa.com?

gently caress that she's gonna pay me I'm two for one Steak-umms!

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

elite_garbage_man posted:

she wants to bring her friend who weighs almost as much as me (230)

lol gently caress no
not worth it

How tall is the 230lb'r?
If she's over 6' 8" might be cool...

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

elite_garbage_man posted:

this is me


5'7"

Is she from a planet with a hostile environment and high gravity? I.e. A dense but shapely alien Princess?

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Spicy Guacamole posted:

:stare:

And that's why you don't show up unannounced.

"And that's why you always leave a note."

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Professor Bling posted:

Society is freaking me out.

1. I wear plaid, flannel, and denim because I've worn them for years. Suddenly, it's "sexy" and "popular."

2. I grow a beard because I got out of the military and no longer am forced to shave twice a day (also I'm lazy) and, whaddya know, beards are suddenly sexy.

3. I have a gut because I brought myself back from "functional alcoholism" down to "college student" (also, as in point two, I'm lazy), then suddenly the "dad bod" is a thing, where having a gut and some body hair is considered sexy.

Through literally zero effort on my part, society has decided I'm one of the sexiest men alive.
What the gently caress.

This is like some kind of cosmic fuckin' joke. My favorite description of myself came from here, when someone told me I looked like Danny Trejo fathered a crack baby.


This is weird.

Which hipster do you most emulate?
Move to Portland you douchnozzle. Btw the news has told me beards are full of poop. I shaved mine and flushed it down the toilet. You should do the same.
In fact you should also shave your side burns above the ear, a la 80's hockey hair.

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Booblord Zagats posted:

I just told her I'd just stop shaving my happy trail as a compromise. My greatest fear is getting fat because I know at 31 it will only get harder to lose weight from here on out

Horse-hockey!
I'm 37 and I'm in the best shape of my life.
It's only harder to lose weight because as you get older the hole called failure and despair inside you gets bigger and bigger and requires more beer and cheese to fill.
So decide you have to remain in top shape so that when you finally go murderhappy you can still strangle, gouge, and bash with your hands once the bullets are gone, blades are dull, and bludgeons cracked.

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

bengy81 posted:

Not gonna lie, I still fully hope for dicks on chicks when I click on the :nws: links.


Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011



Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011
https://vimeo.com/album/2493721/video/66815385

Dingleberry fucked around with this message at 04:09 on May 25, 2015

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Here have a redhead on the tur-let

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

terrez posted:


e: sorry for making GBS threads up the chat thread with work talk heres a butt



Way too fat, this is healthier body shape


Edit; simulate banging her by stuffing fleshlight with chicken bones.

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

Dingleberry
Aug 21, 2011

Rad Lieutenant posted:

I was like sure hoping there'd be a penis surprise in the last pic there :ohdear:

Put all your hope in one hand and tranny cock in the other and see which fills up faster.


Not trannys, but women's soccer... Lerouxxxxxxxxxx!

  • Locked thread