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trains are my life is that an AA battery on top of a bus
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May 17, 2015 03:33
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vi3SQq1KjN4
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May 17, 2015 05:07
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well i've just had my first inexplicably naked dude in 7 years. popped him into a mental health suite and he was sprawled out on a couch completely stark bollock naked. looked like he was about to say "paint me like one of your french girls"
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May 18, 2015 06:30
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:I worked Norwegian Constitution Day yesterday and jesus christ it must have looked like I was carrying an extra baton. Everywhere I turned there were pretty blond 18-25 yearold students walking about pissed. I need to start working those public events again, I got lectured by some bitter fat old Sergeant because apparently having members of the public kiss me on the cheek all day is unbecoming behavior for a Police officer. I told him it was lucky I wasn't smearing them across a mattress Dealt with a lass from Holland earlier, she had travelled up from London and needed the toilet. Train guard told her "get off the train and go to the toilet" which is what she literally did. Just squatted down, hitched her skirt up and pissed on the platform. Fair play to her. As standard her and all of her friends were easily 9/10
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May 19, 2015 01:54
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Vahakyla posted:I like how this Dutch police officer blocks thenintersection for an ambulance carrying an injured cop. The guy in the yellow car doesn't even loving brake
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May 21, 2015 15:52
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Cmdr. Shepard posted:Well you see black cops are just assimilated into the brutal white racist "us vs them" culture of modern police departments which are rooted in slavery and *farrrrrrrt* "MOM! MOM! ANSWER THE loving DOOR I'M TRYING TO TYPE HERE". if only I could get the same daily satisfaction as a tumblr do-gooder who spews poo poo into a back patting echochamber, whilst living a cushy life in my parent's house
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May 22, 2015 05:53
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sprayed another guy today, that's me getting coal for christmas
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May 24, 2015 03:21
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:PAVA or CS? I still haven't had a does of PAVA yet. PAVA. totally reasonable though pls don't poo poo in a box
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May 25, 2015 02:26
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how does he get away with that haircut and those tattoos
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Jun 5, 2015 08:04
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blue pens? what the gently caress guys really
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Jun 5, 2015 16:37
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 I also carry lovely throwaway pens for scroats
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Jun 6, 2015 12:34
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Which one of you is this? http://i.imgur.com/0dcUpJQ.gifv
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Jun 8, 2015 02:56
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:ok, now which one of you was this? what was so serious it requires a combat roll
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Jun 8, 2015 12:30
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i'm thinking the dude singing left his gun somewhere or something the sarge is like "that'll loving teach him heh"
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Jun 19, 2015 01:45
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crackwenches
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Jun 21, 2015 03:24
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Mahmoud Ahmadinejad posted:lol Winnipeg http://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/manitoba/winnipeg-police-sorry-for-x-rated-chopper-talk-overheard-by-public-1.3123905 that is just amazing
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Jun 24, 2015 18:35
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Cop gay. So What posted:Worse than the worst in car radio accidental key up you've ever had. best one I've heard is people scrambling about and yelling, the usual kind of transmission you'd associate with a fight going on, gets your attention easily Followed by "FUCKIN ELL DAVE THAT FUCKIN STINKS YOU SWEATY BASTARD" he farted in a OSU carrier
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Jun 24, 2015 19:18
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chartley and bernard will like this one, BTP arriving first https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6OzD812TeM
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Jun 26, 2015 03:50
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you're on mobile patrol on your own. what music do you listen to?
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Jun 29, 2015 16:37
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chartley posted:Patrol on your own? Please.... sorry your highnesses
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Jun 29, 2015 18:46
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I used a gel pen the other day it was quite nice to write with
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Jun 30, 2015 02:16
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:I stole a fistful of pens from your London Bridge nick and then emptied my guts in to your toilets. Even your toilet roll is softer than the Met's and all of the officers were walking about with smiles. It's all very foreign. BTP up north is a cushy gig, we're not constantly blue lighting everywhere but we get a fair bit of work done. BTP in London is a case of arresting and then handing everything over to a case management team. All they do is walk around and talk to the public, respond to jobs, nick people and that's it.
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Jun 30, 2015 10:52
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:That's basically my job, and because I only work about 3 days a week if it's super serious I get to palm most of the paperwork off on to a detective. Cost's me a loving fortune in Starbucks and blowjobs though. You need to work the system dude. Just pull the "But I'm only a Special..." with puppy dog eyes and all your work is instantly foisted onto everybody else 
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Jun 30, 2015 12:00
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:I'm not that much of a shitbag and I get some decent postings because I get used as muscle who can do his own case papers BUT I loving hate dealing with RTC's and will happily act like my autistic brethren and make someone else do the paperwork for that. I cannot stand doing CARBS (if you have them) much prefer even a criminal domestic or a sudden death than drawing pathetic little cars on yellow paper. They're just like normal specials, usually ranging from vaguely capable but inexperienced (we only have a handful that are over 2 years) to "how are you even here" levels of competence. I can only think of one special or maybe two that I would trust doing police work without hand holding Our specials aren't allowed to take on investigations, because they rarely put in the commitment to come on duty often enough to effectively investigate crimes.
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Jun 30, 2015 15:26
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Untagged posted:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nz52s2dPGZY is this a protest? what a poo poo protest, loving bunch of wet lettuces
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Jul 3, 2015 20:04
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Wait, so you guys consistently work the same shift on a regular basis? I have a 5 week rotating roster with duties all over the place and I still haven't gotten used to it three years later My shifts, all 10 hours apart from one or two. http://i.imgur.com/eAqGNK2.png Hezzy fucked around with this message at 12:42 on Jul 5, 2015 |
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Jul 5, 2015 12:38
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chartley posted:Ours do that too. My radio would work if I had to work in London and took it there. I could also privately radio Bernard or hezzy which stood in sunny Glasgow. We should trade ISSIs and proliferate goon fuckery across the airwaves Bernard McFacknutah posted:I fail to see the problem with that. I'd imagine the ScotPol channels are basically just people yelling "BRRRREACH AW DA PEESH" over and over again
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Jul 6, 2015 17:11
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Vahakyla posted:So, a single bobby just goes in the middle of the crowd to hold it off. Is this Bernard? Watch guy in the dark blue tank top at 4mins
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Jul 6, 2015 18:54
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love how his first reaction is to start discharging a lethal weapon at a balloon that most likely has a bit of pot attached to it just go with it bro, it was well played
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Jul 14, 2015 13:03
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Lost my first prosecution yesterday. The defendant turned up alone, half an hour late in T shirt and trainers, contradicted himself a dozen times and somehow the magistrates took pity on him and let him off. On the other scale of things, I had a belting section 5 that went on for a year because the defendant represented himself for the first two hearings and requested outrageous stuff. He was fined £600 in court costs, later reduced to £400 and also £110 for the offence, £20 costs. Was a thing of beauty, I know the CPS get a bad rep but this prosecutor was on point and super savage.
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Jul 17, 2015 22:14
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chartley posted:There is in England and Wales. In Scotland for what I think affray is, a standup fight between people would be covered by my old favourite, breach of the peace. (Yes Hezzy) BRRRRECH OAE DAE PEESH We had Scottish officers down because Hearts were playing. I tried to get them to say it as many times as possible, I love it. We also had officers from London and I had to translate
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Jul 18, 2015 21:31
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chartley posted:You haven't heard the phrase til you've worked with cops from my area. We are stereotyped as loving the legislation. That's a touch unfair but it fixes every situation! Nearly tweeted something taking the mickey out of this but got told off
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Jul 19, 2015 18:14
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Cop gay. So What posted:?????????? was going to make fun of it but i was warned i would get into trouble do you guys even speak english jesus
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Jul 20, 2015 02:50
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Kung Fu Fist gently caress posted:oh gently caress someone dial 911 i cant feel my left arm! http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Sleeping+Beauty
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Jul 22, 2015 00:19
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Rad Lieutenant posted:fuckin brits have a fancy word for everything. gently caress you guys commandeering our language and pretending you made poo poo
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Jul 22, 2015 05:21
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Shooting Blanks posted:Do I even need to make the obligatory joke that if it weren't for us, you wouldn't be speaking English? we british have never ever lost a war. we weren't about to start in ww2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nYiOCctlPR0
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Jul 22, 2015 12:43
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6 sex is all u need
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Jul 22, 2015 23:44
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Yeah, the Finns carry but they hardly ever use them http://yle.fi/uutiset/finnish_police_fired_guns_only_six_times_in_2013/7701005 To put that in to perspective we fired once in 2012 and three times in 2013 and there are ten times as many of us. So actually Finn cops are bloodthirsty animals. R MARK RIP ANGEL GANGSTER
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Jul 28, 2015 10:27
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Keep that poo poo up and you just might get some overtime this summer. SCs can't be lawfully ordered to stay on shift, the power to order them to work only applies when a state of national emergency is declared  I'm getting my Level 2 training soon apparently so you never know, it might be me riding to your rescue in a Mercedes party van https://www.facebook.com/UPROXX/videos/10153560372696337/
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Jul 28, 2015 16:09
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Bernard McFacknutah posted:Good to know, although no doubt there is some MET bylaw that would keep me on duty. I know they were sending cars round to pick SC's up during the '11 summer of love. We don't do it as standard anymore, but I understand that HQ is considering adding PSU Level 2 as a mandatory requirement in new officers' contracts Yeah, we do our initial course at Gravesend and then the refreshers up in Manchester
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Jul 28, 2015 17:33
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