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a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Hello friends.

It's been a few years since I did this, and it was fun to do back then, so I figured why the hell not.

I will be using our favorite sports simulator gadget, WhatIfSports, to simulate an entire season with each of the 32 NFL team's best team in franchise ever. 17 Weeks, one Bye, and then a full round of playoffs. All I need from you guys is to tell me what team should represent your favorite team. Be it the 1994 49ers or the 1981 Raiders or whatever. I'll also need you to tell me if your dumb teams are pass-heavy, run-heavy, west coast, or balanced on offense.

I will sim one week of the season probably every other day, although as I get bored, it might go every day. As we progress, you can tell me whether or not you want to change your offensive philosophy.

As far as scheduling, I'm going to pick a year at random and use the schedule from that year. Or maybe I'll let someone else pick the year. Who knows!

Notes: Houston fans can pick an Oilers team from before they moved, or a Texans team. Baltimore fans can pick a Ravens team or a Baltimore Colts team.


Things I need from you all:

-The team
-Offensive philosophy
-Whether the sims should be single, best of three, best of five, whatever. We don't exactly have to worry about player health.

To start us off, I'm gonna go ahead and nominate the 2006 San Diego Chargers with a run-heavy system

I'm also of the opinion that single sims are the best, no best of whatever.

edit: Also, please try to not give me stupid pre-superbowl teams. I'm looking at you, Packers and Bears fans

a neat cape fucked around with this message at 22:34 on May 16, 2015

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a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!
Space reserved for teams


Dallas Cowboys: 1993, Run heavy
New York Giants: 1986, run heavy
Philadelphia Eagles: 1990 Eagles, balanced
Washington Redskins: 1993, Run heavy

Green Bay Packers: 1996, balanced
Minnesota Vikings: 1998, pass heavy
Detroit Lions: 2014, pass heavy
Chicago Bears: 1985, run heavy

Atlanta Falcons: 1998, run heavy
New Orleans Saints: 2009, balanced
Carolina Panthers: 2003, run heavy
Tampa Bay Buccaneers: 2002, balanced

Seattle Seahawks: 2013, Run heavy
San Francisco 49ers: 1989, WCO
Arizona Cardinals: 2009, pass heavy
St. Louis Rams: 2001, balanced

New England Patriots: 2007, pass heavy
New York Jets: 1998, balanced
Miami Dolphins: 1972, Run heavy
Buffalo Bills: 1991, WCO

Pittsburgh Steelers: 1978, balanced
Cleveland Browns: 2007, balanced
Baltimore Ravens/Colts: 2011, balanced
Cincinnati Bengals: 1988, balanced

Indianapolis Colts: 2007, pass heavy
Houston Texans/Oilers: 2011, balanced
Tennessee Titans: 1999, balanced
Jacksonville Jaguars: 1999, pass heavy

San Diego Chargers: 2006, Run Heavy
Oakland Raiders: 1976, Run heavy
Denver Broncos: 2013, pass heavy
Kansas City Chiefs: 1969, Run Heavy

a neat cape fucked around with this message at 03:25 on Jun 6, 2015

Grittybeard
Mar 29, 2010

Bad, very bad!
Last time I argued for the 2003 Chiefs for offensive fun. As I remember it whatif correctly decided that defense was horrible, but incorrectly only had KC scoring like 15 points a game.

So we'll go boring this time and go with the 1969 Chiefs, run heavy.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
2013 Seahawks should be the obvious choice (especially if Harvin is healthy the whole season in this universe), although I'd be willing to hear arguments for 2005 or 1983.

I'd go run-heavy for 2013, but pass-heavy if you use 2005.

incompetent
Jun 4, 2013

2008 Detroit Lions, pass-heavy.

ProFro
Jun 29, 2008
1998 Minnesota Vikings, Pass Heavy

FeedingHam2Cats
Nov 10, 2009

2011 Baltimore Ravens, Balanced

FeedingHam2Cats fucked around with this message at 23:28 on May 16, 2015

grill youre saelf
Jan 22, 2006

1996 Green Bay Packers, balanced, single sim

Ghost of Reagan Past
Oct 7, 2003

rock and roll fun
I can't really decide whether the 2009 or 2014 Arizona Cardinals were better. 2014 had an incredible defense and if Carson Palmer stayed healthy a good, though not great, offense. But 2009 had Kurt Warner, so gently caress it.

2009 Arizona Cardinals, Pass Heavy

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
EDIT: gently caress. I guess the 1964 Browns were pre-superbowl.

3 DONG HORSE
May 22, 2008

I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

Going with what I've seen cause I don't know how to compare teams across eras.
2013 Broncos, Pass Heavy

Hopefully the D doesn't get injured again!

Do BO3 until the last 8 or something then do BO5


What superbowl?

e: when you run the simulation, please make sure you modify Moreno's stats to account for his elite green beret training

3 DONG HORSE fucked around with this message at 06:41 on May 30, 2015

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling
2008 Chiefs, pass heavy

No Butt Stuff
Jun 10, 2004

Pron on VHS posted:

2008 Chiefs, pass heavy

I think you missed a post.

Randaconda
Jul 3, 2014

by Jeffrey of YOSPOS
99 Jacksonville, run heavy

Randaconda fucked around with this message at 17:16 on May 17, 2015

Shadow225
Jan 2, 2007




09 Colts, Pass heavy

Pron on VHS
Nov 14, 2005

Blood Clots
Sweat Dries
Bones Heal
Suck it Up and Keep Wrestling

No Butt Stuff posted:

I think you missed a post.

I want to see if Brodie Croyle was given up on too early

Borsche69
May 8, 2014

FeedingHam2Cats posted:

2011 Baltimore Ravens, Balanced

2007*

TheGreyGhost
Feb 14, 2012

“Go win the Heimlich Trophy!”
1950 Browns. Run heavy

von Metternich
May 7, 2007
Why the hell not?
1991 Buffalo Bills
They ran the Run and Shoot, but I think today it would be the West Coast Offense
I vote best of three to eliminate fluky results, but I'm down for whatever.

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide
Can I enter 2011 Alabama (run heavy)

a neat cape
Feb 22, 2007

Aw hunny, these came out GREAT!

Raku posted:

Can I enter 2011 Alabama (run heavy)

no

Metapod
Mar 18, 2012
99 titans balanced (if they don't beat the 99 jags your program is inaccurate)

Raku
Nov 7, 2012

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.

Roll Tide

Good I'm going to claim the championship then

Gatts
Jan 2, 2001

Goodnight Moon

Nap Ghost
When you say pre-superbowl teams..what do you mean? Cause I did want the 1964 Browns, run heavy, single sim. Or did you mean teams that no longer exist?

Borsche69
May 8, 2014

Raku posted:

Can I enter 2011 Alabama (run heavy)

You can enter the gas chamber.

adaz
Mar 7, 2009

1996 Packers, Favre Heavy

adaz fucked around with this message at 22:13 on May 17, 2015

Edward Mass
Sep 14, 2011

𝅘𝅥𝅮 I wanna go home with the armadillo
Good country music from Amarillo and Abilene
Friendliest people and the prettiest women you've ever seen
𝅘𝅥𝅮
2011 Houston Texans, Balanced Offense.

Nit Wit Dog Shit
Sep 28, 2000

Toilet Rascal
2001 Rams - Balanced

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF
2011 Packers - pass heavy

dont hate the playa
May 12, 2009
98 Falcons - Run Heavy

Lord Waffle Beard
Dec 7, 2013
Seahawks 2013 - Run Heavy

BlindSite
Feb 8, 2009

2003 Panthers - Run Heavy

Fenrir
Apr 26, 2005

I found my kendo stick, bitch!

Lipstick Apathy

TubeStank posted:

2011 Packers - pass heavy

Ehhh... I dunno. I'd almost rather take the 1996 team. Pass Heavy.

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN

TubeStank posted:

2011 Packers - pass heavy

Fenrir posted:

Ehhh... I dunno. I'd almost rather take the 1996 team. Pass Heavy.

If it's a choice between Aaron Rodgers' prime and Brett Favre Prime Funslinging Bullshit then son, I don't think that's a choice at all.

Silly Burrito
Nov 27, 2007

SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT
I think the last time we did this, we tried the 2011 Saints, so let's try the Super Bowl team.

2009 Saints, balanced

adaz
Mar 7, 2009

Benne posted:

If it's a choice between Aaron Rodgers' prime and Brett Favre Prime Funslinging Bullshit then son, I don't think that's a choice at all.

It's also a choice between the #1 defense in the NFL that year and the #1 special teams that year.

2011 was a good team, but it had nothing on that 96 squad's defense and ST

Benne
Sep 2, 2011

STOP DOING HEROIN
IIRC the '96 team also had a real running game instead of trying to make James Starks a thing

Hot Diggity!
Apr 3, 2010

SKELITON_BRINGING_U_ON.GIF

adaz posted:

It's also a choice between the #1 defense in the NFL that year and the #1 special teams that year.

2011 was a good team, but it had nothing on that 96 squad's defense and ST

Right I'm just being a bit of a contrarian

Odovaucer
Oct 23, 2003
Ostrogoth

The 2007 Ravens won five games?

2006 Ravens is the 13-win squad with Adalius and Jamal.

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Pryor on Fire
May 14, 2013

they don't know all alien abduction experiences can be explained by people thinking saving private ryan was a documentary

I'm still so mad about the 98 Vikings, gently caress that would have been a great super bowl. Instead that whole forgettable season was one massive lovely cockblock.

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