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I am not aware of an existing thread for stuff like this which isn't archived... I am basically a walking E/N thread / goon stereotype... late 20s, live with my parents and no real friends who I see more than 1-2 times a year, no girlfriend, no real non-goony interests aside from travel, and so on. I am rather introverted and basically shut in and depressed. I should have moved out a long time ago but never did due to always having things like college and jobs in the same area. My parents are both retiring this summer so I am setting this as the absolute deadline to get my rear end out of their house and stop being a leeching manchild... I am located in a mid-sized city in the northeastern US. I have decided that I need a drastic change in my life, so I am looking to be completely uprooted and move anywhere in the world to start my life over. I need a major change in lifestyle and I think moving to a new place would help with this. My job allows me to work from anywhere in the world, and I have no other existing attachments so I am considering literally anywhere and everywhere at the moment. I have kept up a decent freelancing job for roughly 4 years where I work over the internet... the pay is unpredictable but I make usually at least $30,000 a year after taxes. I do not have a great amount of money in savings at the moment, but it is enough to go anywhere and live for at least a few months before needing new paychecks. I can keep up this job anywhere where I have access to a high speed Internet connection (I work with video). I am looking to keep this job for the time being rather than seek new work. I should also mention that over the past few years I have traveled to different countries in Asia and the Middle East for 2-4 weeks at a time. I have a couple of acquaintances in these countries though not enough of an attachment to definitely consider moving. The big question is of course, where to go? I would like to live in a city in a first world country (or at least a reasonably developed city in any other country). I would love to get out of the US for a dramatic change in the scenery and mentality. Aside from some very basic conversational Japanese and French I only know English... so I think it is best to stick to a country where English is commonly spoken or where there are a lot of foreign nationals. The US is not out of the question, but the most interesting cities to me (like New York, San Francisco, LA) are all too expensive. I wouldn't be against a trendy seeming middle sized city like Seattle, Chicago or Austin. Canada or UK seems like a decent option for a little nicer culture than the US stereotype. I have heard that English is widely spoken in continental Europe but I am not really convinced how far I could get to know people without knowing the local language. I would love to live some place in Asia but it is probably a bad option due to language difficulties. Basically I really am just looking for somewhere fairly affordable with a good atmosphere and a lot of things to do. I would prefer a larger city for the diversity and atmosphere, as long as it is not unaffordably expensive. I am open to anywhere until I narrow things down. Feel free to give me ideas or poo poo on me.
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Jun 23, 2015 02:04
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Topeka, Kansas, enjoy your new city!
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Jun 23, 2015 02:45
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If you are thinking of moving to the UK, Bristol, Manchester and Glasgow are all recommended as nice and affordable places with plenty of sights and stuff to do. Bristol is more expensive being in the South. Avoid London like the plague, it is horrible, overcrowded and will bankrupt you with living costs, especially since you don't need to be in London for your job. I have no clue about what you would actually need to do to emigrate to the UK though, I haven't investigated myself. I would strongly avoid moving to mainland Europe without first learning the local language. Some places like Germany will be more tolerant, though you will probably still find a lot of things difficult, especially if you are having to deal with complicated stuff like living arrangements and visas. Some places will not cater to you at all like a lot of places in France.
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Jun 23, 2015 10:39
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Baby steps. Stay in the US for now. Different countries have wildly differing policies on how long you can stay there and what the requirements are - and at $30k/yr, you're much better off just first learning to live by yourself and managing your own life without those added complications. If you really want to jump into the deep end, consider central/south america - super low cost of living in many areas, so your savings will go the distance, and relatively tolerant rules for ex-pats. Not to mention, it's wildly dominated by romance languages which you're likely to find easier to pick up than, say, German or Icelandic.
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Jun 23, 2015 11:26
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I don't think you'd be able to get a residence permit in a foreign country if your job doesn't require you to be there. If you did somehow manage to get one though, you are correct that a lot of Europeans speak English. You should still try and learn the local language though if you're there for any significant length of time - it'll make things a lot easier, people will be a little nicer to you, and you'll feel a lot less isolated. Since moving to Switzerland, I've found that while almost everyone around your age can speak English, it makes it awkward in social situations - they can either all speak English to include you, or talk English to you and German to their Swiss friends who may not be so good at English. It makes for an awkward situation where people feel left out. You don't need to (and probably won't be able to even if you try unless you're there for many years) master the language, but having basic conversational skills will make things much much easier. As for what city to pick, I don't know, I think this thread is just going to be pretty much "name your favorite city". 30k a year isn't a whole lot, and the bigger city you go to the less you'll get for that money (obviously). It's hard to know what balance of "living comfortably" and "living somewhere interesting" you need. Maybe check out the Santa Fe area - it can be a little arty/pretentious but you did mention Austin so maybe that's not a problem for you. I enjoyed living near it in Los Alamos, and maybe my impression of it would have been different if I was actually living in it, but it seems pretty nice and not extremely expensive, especially if you don't live right downtown. Overall though, don't expect moving on its own to cause a change in your life. If you let them, your bad habits and problems will follow you wherever you go. Just make sure the moving is just one part of a solid plan to get your life back on track rather than the entire plan.
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Jun 23, 2015 12:34
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Enjoy the mid- (or south) west. Southwest has better food, mid-west probably has cheaper housing.
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Jun 23, 2015 14:18
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Animum debes mutare, non caelum.
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Jun 23, 2015 15:51
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Murphy Brownback posted:I don't think you'd be able to get a residence permit in a foreign country if your job doesn't require you to be there. If you did somehow manage to get one though, you are correct that a lot of Europeans speak English. You should still try and learn the local language though if you're there for any significant length of time - it'll make things a lot easier, people will be a little nicer to you, and you'll feel a lot less isolated. Since moving to Switzerland, I've found that while almost everyone around your age can speak English, it makes it awkward in social situations - they can either all speak English to include you, or talk English to you and German to their Swiss friends who may not be so good at English. It makes for an awkward situation where people feel left out. You don't need to (and probably won't be able to even if you try unless you're there for many years) master the language, but having basic conversational skills will make things much much easier. I have really bad stereotypes about the Midwest.... midwest or southeast US is the last place I would want to be What are people's opinions about the area around Seattle, Portland etc? I thought that seemed promising. Murphy Brownback posted:Overall though, don't expect moving on its own to cause a change in your life. If you let them, your bad habits and problems will follow you wherever you go. Just make sure the moving is just one part of a solid plan to get your life back on track rather than the entire plan. The March Hare posted:Animum debes mutare, non caelum. This is all true but I think that moving to a new place would put me in a better frame of mind to explore new things and help me change as a person.... rather than being a couple of miles away from where I have felt stuck my whole life. I don't want this to turn into an E/N thread if it isn't one already.
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Jun 23, 2015 16:27
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Can you narrow your options a bit? When you say "in a city," are we talking, like, NYC-sized, Seattle/Portland-sized, or Spokane-sized? What about weather? If lovely weather doesn't bother you, you might want to look at Minneapolis-St. Paul. Low cost of living, and it's a relatively nice city, especially if you don't need to spend much time outdoors. It's a big city, too, so most of the Midwestern close-minded stereotypes don't apply. At $30,000 a year, you may be able to find someplace an hour or two outside of Seattle or Portland, but if you're looking for a social scene and not nature, probably not the best way to go.
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Jun 23, 2015 17:53
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Your problems are staying with you no matter where you go. Don't have any romantic ideas about how if you could just figure out how to live in NYC or Seattle, then everything would be better and you'd be a well-adjusted adult with an active social life! You don't suddenly stop being a depressed shut-in just because you live in a place with a drastically higher COL.
queertea fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Jun 23, 2015 |
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Jun 23, 2015 18:18
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asvodel posted:I have really bad stereotypes about the Midwest.... midwest or southeast US is the last place I would want to be Then look at the Southwest, though with your large city stipulation and $30k income, you will probably run into issues. My extended family is mostly in the Seattle area, and it's fairly expensive there. Minneapolis/St Paul is worth a look. If you want/need low cost of living, the mid-west is where it's at; you might want to consider overcoming your own prejudices while you do the rest of your self-improvement - if there's enough people around the area they probably won't all be awful.
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Jun 23, 2015 18:23
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I'd love to live in a very big city, bigger than the one I am in now (pittsburgh) though I probably can't afford the rent there. I have figured that the bigger the place, the more diverse the people and activities. I don't want to pay more than like $8-900 for rent. I was leaning towards the area of Seattle or Portland because of the "hipster" associations they have, I am not really that sort of person but it seems like you would find a lot of younger people with interesting interests. I learned everything about Minnesota from Garrison Keillor, that is 100% accurate right?? In seriousness I will keep it in mind.
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Jun 23, 2015 18:24
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I will try to do some research on these places. Thanks for the input I know there are a lot of other things involved, I don't want this to become an E/N thread. It seems like a good first step to get me out of a comfort zone though.
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Jun 23, 2015 19:09
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Yeah don't come to MN unless you like nice people and great parks and good beer and maybe bikes.
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Jun 24, 2015 00:08
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Try GBS, OP.
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Jun 24, 2015 00:43
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As some others have mentioned, Minneapolis-St.Paul is actually pretty decent and relatively affordable compared to a lot of "big" cities. Personally, if I was staying in the US I'd want to do San Diego.
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Jun 24, 2015 03:44
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Asheville NC. Seriously, it is crazy diverse and fun.
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Jun 24, 2015 05:15
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asvodel posted:I have really bad stereotypes about the Midwest.... midwest or southeast US is the last place I would want to be As you should, but Santa Fe is not in the midwest. You sound like you'd enjoy Seattle/Portland etc but with 30k a year that you say can vary, you will probably have to live outside of places like that and commute. I guess you'd be able to find a place downtown with roommates, but at least for me, at a similar age as you, that kind of living just isn't for me anymore. yeah I eat ass fucked around with this message at 06:23 on Jun 24, 2015 |
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Jun 24, 2015 06:17
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queertea posted:Your problems are staying with you no matter where you go. Don't have any romantic ideas about how if you could just figure out how to live in NYC or Seattle, then everything would be better and you'd be a well-adjusted adult with an active social life! You don't suddenly stop being a depressed shut-in just because you live in a place with a drastically higher COL. I don't 100% agree, but I get where you're coming from. I moved to another city I'd never visited on a whim, and years later, it's apparent to myself (and to other people) that a lot of my weird shut-in issues started resolving themselves, mostly because I got 8000 miles away from my parents, who were exacerbating the situation. As much as my parents own, it's really hard to become a grown up if you can constantly fall back on them. I mean, there's probably a less dramatic solution to OP's issues, but it worked pretty nice for me.
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Jun 24, 2015 06:36
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Move to Portland or Austin. They love newcomers.
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Jun 24, 2015 07:24
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Thanatosian posted:If lovely weather doesn't bother you, you might want to look at Minneapolis-St. Paul. Low cost of living, and it's a relatively nice city, especially if you don't need to spend much time outdoors. What crazy world is Minneapolis for people who don't like the outdoors?
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Jun 24, 2015 07:25
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Bip Roberts posted:What crazy world is Minneapolis for people who don't like the outdoors? The crazy world where it's an ice-cold frozen hellhole in the winter, and a burning, humid, mosquito-infested hellhole during the summer. What I like to call "reality."
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Jun 24, 2015 09:31
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asvodel posted:I was leaning towards the area of Seattle or Portland Post in the Oregoons LAN thread and tell them your story and ask about moving to Portland, they are friendly and will offer helpful advice!
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Jun 24, 2015 10:11
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A suburb of phuket, thailand.
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Jun 24, 2015 15:41
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I highly recommend outer space
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Jun 24, 2015 16:15
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Jeza posted:I highly recommend outer space He said he wanted atmosphere, tho.
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Jun 24, 2015 16:16
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asvodel posted:I have really bad stereotypes about the Midwest.... midwest or southeast US is the last place I would want to be Maybe you should use this as an opportunity to actually learn about places and people you don't actually know. That's generally how people experience personal growth. But on the other hand you sound like the countless other losers obsessed with "hipster city cred" so have fun with that.
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Jun 24, 2015 16:47
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nickutz posted:Maybe you should use this as an opportunity to actually learn about places and people you don't actually know. That's generally how people experience personal growth. That is not really true, I have no idea what to do with my life so I am open to anything at the moment.
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Jun 24, 2015 17:28
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Do you like weed?
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Jun 24, 2015 19:23
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asvodel posted:That is not really true, I have no idea what to do with my life so I am open to anything at the moment. Certainly didn't sound like you were open to anything. Mr.Bob posted:Asheville NC. Seriously, it is crazy diverse and fun. The Carolinas kick rear end. Go there OP, if you aren't afraid of the Southeast U.S. boogeyman.
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Jun 24, 2015 22:04
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If you're willing to go through the effort of obtaining a self-employment visa (and assuming they give you one), and you want a completely fresh start, you could try somewhere in Spain. The language isn't particularly difficult to learn for English-speakers, a lot of people do speak English, the cost of living is reasonable, the weather is pretty good, and it's solidly first-world. Taxes are a bit high, but they have the crazy idea that you could actually provide services with the money you collect, so it ends up working out okay. Unemployment is high, but it sounds like that won't be a huge issue for you unless you're trying to solicit work locally.
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Jun 24, 2015 22:10
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PT6A posted:If you're willing to go through the effort of obtaining a self-employment visa (and assuming they give you one), and you want a completely fresh start, you could try somewhere in Spain. The language isn't particularly difficult to learn for English-speakers, a lot of people do speak English, the cost of living is reasonable, the weather is pretty good, and it's solidly first-world. I didn't know there was such a thing as a self-employment visa! That really changes things, as I thought I was locked out of moving to any other country for more than a few months due to the nature of my work. Will have to look into it. Spain was one of my thoughts before I narrowed things down to the US for that reason.
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Jun 24, 2015 22:36
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If you're really dead-set on Portland, just move to Richmond, VA. You'll get virtually the same culture here, and the local university has made the city infinitely more diverse than, say, fifteen years ago. You'll be closer to your family on the east coast, too, so you won't end up feeling quite as isolated.
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Jun 24, 2015 23:01
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Baron Fuzzlewhack posted:If you're really dead-set on Portland, just move to Richmond, VA. You'll get virtually the same culture here, and the local university has made the city infinitely more diverse than, say, fifteen years ago. But you will be in the south where the weather is complete poo poo and the Bible Belt culture is very alive and thriving.
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Jun 24, 2015 23:40
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goodness posted:But you will be in the south where the weather is complete poo poo and the Bible Belt culture is very alive and thriving. That is exactly why I had bad feelings toward the south but no it's an unfounded bias or whatever College town could be a good idea though.
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Jun 25, 2015 00:07
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asvodel posted:That is exactly why I had bad feelings toward the south but no it's an unfounded bias or whatever It's not an unfounded bias. I grew up in one of the more progressive areas in the south for 20 years and it was still prevalent everywhere. It's a sad reality of their history and culture. A college town is obviously a little better but the townsfolk will still be southern.
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Jun 25, 2015 00:37
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goodness posted:It's not an unfounded bias. I grew up in one of the more progressive areas in the south for 20 years and it was still prevalent everywhere. It's a sad reality of their history and culture. Yeah what I meant is that people in the thread accuse me of unfounded bias against the American Southeast but the bad aspects of the general culture is why I think that. My mother grew up in the deep South in the 1960s and moved away to get away from all of it so that probably forms my opinion about it. I am sure things have changed but not entirely.
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Jun 25, 2015 00:50
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asvodel posted:I didn't know there was such a thing as a self-employment visa! That really changes things, as I thought I was locked out of moving to any other country for more than a few months due to the nature of my work. Will have to look into it. Spain was one of my thoughts before I narrowed things down to the US for that reason. I have absolutely no idea what the requirements are, or how easy it is to get, but it might apply to you. If you're willing to pay Spanish taxes, and won't be taking a job away from a Spanish citizen, I'm going to guess they'd grant it, but I'm honestly not sure.
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Jun 25, 2015 01:58
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Don't move without a firm job offer. If you want to get things going now, move out and live on your own where you are currently located.
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Jun 25, 2015 20:50
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n8r posted:Don't move without a firm job offer. I already have a job that I do over the internet. So this shouldn't be a problem.
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Jun 25, 2015 22:03
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