if your house is attacked by kids you can't fight back bc you cant hit kids

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smoobles

kony figured this out in 2012, it's a viable strategy

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:28

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# ? May 7, 2024 13:04

dogcrash truther

u can flick the lights on and off and they have to stop being rowdy and listen

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:30

FreshCutFries

why is your house a prime target for kid attacks? are you secretly manufacturing candy?

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:32

dogcrash truther

if youturn your back on them and shout "red light!" they have to freeze or else theyre out

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:33

FreshCutFries

smoobles has a crayola coded threat alert for his house, and it's currently set at Sunset Orange.

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:36

ChairmanMeow: Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!

It's important to say "Simon Says" before telling them to get out

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:36

beer pal

just put on some ELO. kids today dont know what good music is and theyll go running back to their justin beiber.

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:38

dogcrash truther

Thingyman posted:

smoobles has a crayola coded threat alert for his house, and it's currently set at Sunset Orange.

haha

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:38

beer pal

hang a dire straits cassette over the threshold to ward them off

https://i.imgur.com/xQxnooW.png

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:40

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

Hit Children 2012

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# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:42

GODSPEED JOHN GLENN: I put my thumb up my bum and shut one eye, and my thumb blotted out the planet Earth.

Start counting to three and they'll settle down. I don't know why it works, but it does

# ? Jun 29, 2015 23:52

blinking beacon nose: birthday frog comes bearing gifts and special birthday wishes

don't bother, they'll just turn their attention to something else in like two minutes anyway

God damned kids nowadays what with their fancy instant gratification and iPhones and overdiagnosed ADHD

# ? Jun 30, 2015 00:17

Al Borland: by XyloJW

Remember when the guy who brought kony toe veryone's attention went crazy and started punching the ground screaming and masturbating in public?

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# ? Jun 30, 2015 00:25

shabbat goy

You can buy yourself some time if you tell them the floor is lava

# ? Jun 30, 2015 00:26

Thunder Moose: S.J.C.

dogcrash truther posted:

if youturn your back on them and shout "red light!" they have to freeze or else theyre out

# ? Jun 30, 2015 01:31

Senior Management

try to talk to them about Jesus and conservative politics until they run away.

:jerry:

# ? Jun 30, 2015 02:09

Barco Fiesta: a fantasy of olives

kids also arent very strong and if various internet calculators are to be believed i should be able to take up to 30 of them without much problem

# ? Jun 30, 2015 02:12

Darkman Fanpage

at halloween gibe them the big candy bars

# ? Jun 30, 2015 02:30

Darkman Fanpage

Pomp posted:

Hit Children 2012

no!

# ? Jun 30, 2015 02:31

smoobles

Pomp posted:

Hit Children 2012

teen bop hits 2015

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# ? Jun 30, 2015 02:37

Piso Mojado

why are kids always picking on byob posters?

# ? Jun 30, 2015 02:39

Piso Mojado

Message for today's youth - stop bullying us adults!

# ? Jun 30, 2015 02:40

Lastgirl: Good Morning!
Sunday Morning!

the trick is to catch children and train them so u can follow your dream as the worlds best children trainer

# ? Jun 30, 2015 03:08

ChairmanMeow: Fire up the grill everyone eats tonight!

this can be done with a flute, make sure it is set to kid and not rat or snake

# ? Jun 30, 2015 04:40

google THIS

I just ship them off to grandma's problem solved

# ? Jun 30, 2015 04:47

Scaly Haylie

#hitkids

# ? Jun 30, 2015 04:48

google THIS

Lizard Wizard posted:

#hitkids

don't post in this thread

# ? Jun 30, 2015 05:03

Admiral_eX_laX: Historically Inaccurate

You leave out cages baited with totinos pizza rolls.

# ? Jun 30, 2015 05:13

Pomp: by Fluffdaddy

Admiral_eX_laX posted:

You leave out cages baited with totinos pizza rolls.

warning:may also attract adults

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# ? Jun 30, 2015 05:14

City of Glompton

I babyproofed the house but they keep getting in, send help!!

# ? Jun 30, 2015 05:55

railroad terror: choo choo

dogcrash truther posted:

u can flick the lights on and off and they have to stop being rowdy and listen

Pomp posted:

warning:may also attract adults

may also attract railroad terror

# ? Jun 30, 2015 13:56

alnilam

City of Glompton posted:

I babyproofed the house but they keep getting in, send help!!

lol

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:06

thewireguy

http://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/a-realistic-assessment-of-how-many-12-year-olds-i-could-beat-up-before-they-overtook-me

# ? Jun 30, 2015 14:31

Savage For The Winjun

actually if you just keep moving the 12 year olds have to expend huge amounts of energy just to reach you because their legs are so tiny that they are really easy to just push onto the ground when they get within pushing range

# ? Jul 1, 2015 00:09

dogcrash truther

Twilight Matrix posted:

actually if you just keep moving the 12 year olds have to expend huge amounts of energy just to reach you because their legs are so tiny that they are really easy to just push onto the ground when they get within pushing range

do not push a chjild to the ground

# ? Jul 1, 2015 00:10

Savage For The Winjun

i was actually one of the 12 year olds once, versus a grown man and let me tell you the grown man could essentially take on infinite 12 year olds

someday i will have my day to push a huge number of children to the ground

# ? Jul 1, 2015 00:23

Commie NedFlanders

dogcrash truther posted:

u can flick the lights on and off and they have to stop being rowdy and listen

lol this works with bougie kids

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Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
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# ? Jul 1, 2015 00:53

Commie NedFlanders

dogcrash truther posted:

if youturn your back on them and shout "red light!" they have to freeze or else theyre out

you sound like a lot of fun

☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭
Love God, Love Thy Neighbor
☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭☭

# ? Jul 1, 2015 00:58

teleolurian

just start digging a moat wherever they're not standing until they're all in a moat

# ? Jul 1, 2015 05:10

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# ? May 7, 2024 13:04

dogcrash truther

teleolurian posted:

just start digging a moat wherever they're not standing until they're all in a moat

If you dig it where they're not standing, then everywhere else would be the moat

# ? Jul 1, 2015 14:26

The Something Awful Forums > Main > BYOB: BYOB BYOB BOYB BBOY YOBB YBOB BBYO?? > if your house is attacked by kids you can't fight back bc you cant hit kids

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