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so are you going to compensate me for miles driven? you wouldn't believe how long it takes to get through the earth's crust in a station wagon |
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Jul 10, 2015 06:00
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sorry, i'd pitch in for lunch, but you can't perceive our currency with your mortal eyes
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Jul 10, 2015 06:00
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i don't use facebook. social media where i come from just makes it easier for others to torture you. what? oh, i guess we do use twitter.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:01
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seriously? non-smoking? maybe have a little loving respect for your employees
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Jul 10, 2015 06:02
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[points to bathroom] DO NOT GO IN THERE [muffled shrieks are heard from inside as the door is closed]
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Jul 10, 2015 06:03
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Carl, the demon from accounting, ruins the company picnic when he punctures the soccer ball with his horns. Again. |
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Jul 10, 2015 06:04
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every day you deny me overtime, you are literally damning me to torment
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Jul 10, 2015 06:04
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what's this in the fridge? soul food? really?
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Jul 10, 2015 06:05
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I like that adult swim show about this |
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Jul 10, 2015 06:17
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Lol
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Jul 10, 2015 06:33
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welcome to the third level of hell, the hell of Johnson stealing your drat coffee cup every drat day
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Jul 10, 2015 06:41
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[Devil looking at a copy machine trying not to cry]
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Jul 10, 2015 06:45
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define 'paid vacation'
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Jul 10, 2015 06:45
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Are you serious? I need to bring my own manacles to work? Those things are costly.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:46
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employee potluck? sure. how do you feel about unbaptized babies?
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Jul 10, 2015 06:47
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Look boss, I can't come in to work on Sunday. This is holy ground.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:50
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[HR complaint from Abaddon] Ethel keeps putting out her crucifixes and she knows it makes me uncomfortable.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:54
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oh, so it's fine for bethanie to have an ichthys on her bumper but when i show up with the heads of your grandparents on my car hood everyone flips their poo poo. nice. you know they purposefully threw their own heads on my nice clean car just so you'd remember them, right? you never called them and now they're in eternal agony.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:55
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so if i get this job again, do i have to give you back the gold watch from last time?
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Jul 10, 2015 06:57
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I don't give a gently caress that its just your kid burning a car tire it gave me a panic attack and I'm suing you for emotional damages. I'll never be able to relax at a work party again.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:58
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i'm just saying it's bullshit that you made me sign that life insurance policy. i don't care if it's mandated. it's stupid
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Jul 10, 2015 06:58
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If she can say christ at work why can't I wish a thousand torments upon the customers.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:00
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well, i don't care if dilbert is a cornerstone of cubicle humor. i shouldn't have to suffer through all of those terrible cat-devil calender comics every time you want a one-on-one. you know my home situation, we've been over this.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:02
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I'm not gonna clean those drawers. I'll clean cum off the walls, poo poo from the tub, drugs from the tables, but I don't care if I'm just a hotel maid. I'm not touching King James.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:04
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i can't unfreeze her, ok? if she didn't try and steal my lunch, she wouldn't have seen the gorgon head and we wouldn't be having this conversation. it was clearly marked with a note on the outside and she signed that waiver about lunch theft just like we all did. besides, she was on strike six or seven and you weren't going to do anything.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:04
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no, henry, i don't want to hear about the good news. there is no more good news for me. what? oh, well. tell sven i wish you both the best.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:06
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Halloween at the costume store is worse than anything I've devised for Sameal.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:07
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Lol @ all Bacalou's posts I'm getting incredibly outdone.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:10
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Did everybody get that email from Moloch saying we can't use any more paper clips? This is bullshit.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:12
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bacalou posted:what's this in the fridge? soul food? really? |
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Jul 10, 2015 07:13
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Miss Psychosis posted:[Devil looking at a copy machine trying not to cry] bacalou posted:no, henry, i don't want to hear about the good news. there is no more good news for me. what? oh, well. tell sven i wish you both the best. saboten fucked around with this message at 11:11 on Jul 10, 2015
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Jul 10, 2015 11:09
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thank u bacalou
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i think bo peppers fired him |
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Jul 10, 2015 12:01
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| The other employees and I have been talking, and we're unionizing. | |
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Jul 10, 2015 12:02
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[at the employee team-building retreat, in unison, with feigned enthusiasm] Hail Satan.
---------------- |
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Jul 10, 2015 12:28
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Miss Psychosis posted:If she can say christ at work why can't I wish a thousand torments upon the customers. GODSPEED JOHN GLENN posted:Did everybody get that email from Moloch saying we can't use any more paper clips? This is bullshit. ---------------- |
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Jul 10, 2015 12:38
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Charon just upped the toll again. Anyone want to start a boatpool? |
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Jul 10, 2015 13:06
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A gibbering mass of amorphous flesh seep through the edge of your door, slowly forming into barely identifiable body parts and a thousand mouths quivering violently, muttering profanities. It slithers and rolls towards you, in a most unnatural way, stopping right infront of your desk. "Hey can I take friday off?"
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Jul 10, 2015 13:24
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Johnson, it's... it's your odor. Brimstone and treacle may be all the rage where you're from but Janice from Marketing says the smell interferes with her smoke break.
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 10, 2015 13:48
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*crumples up another piece of paper, throws it at the little basketball hoop trashcan in the corner* sigh *trash can contents are now on fire*
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Jul 10, 2015 16:08
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 00:46 |
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You've done it now! As your supervisor it falls upon me to give you your annual performance review, and I see no improvement at all from last year's performance review. I TOLD YOU I WOULD MAKE YOUR LIFE A LIVING HELL, AND SO I SHALL! Why are you smiling? Stop it! Stop looking at my soul like that! Security! https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 10, 2015 16:55
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