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words etched over the entire surface of huge boulders being pushed in a futile never ending journey to a nonexistent center: "You don't have to be crazy to work here... but it helps" ---------------- |
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Jul 10, 2015 17:11
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demons shouting to horned out people being blown about in an empty void: "hang in there, baby!" (there's nothing to hold onto)
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Jul 10, 2015 17:15
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- We need a new supervisor for our call center in Hell. Mr Johnson? - Yes, sir? - How do you feel about ritual suicide? - Well... I do have a wife. - Is she baptized? e: how many johnsons do they have in hell anyway?? DeepQantas fucked around with this message at 17:23 on Jul 10, 2015 |
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Jul 10, 2015 17:19
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Hello, my name is Asmodeus, and I'm calling from the Pew research center. Do you have a few eterniti--- i mean, a few minutes, heh, sorry, to answer some questions about religious views in your household?
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Jul 10, 2015 17:26
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well, I don't care what you think, flamin red hots trigger me, and I wish you'd stop putting them out in the employee candy dish. m&ms were doing just fine |
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Jul 10, 2015 17:32
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Look, it's not my fault that every time I pass the water cooler the water evaporates. Have you considered that maybe the water cooler is offensive to me? Thought not
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Jul 10, 2015 17:32
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The creepy satanic chanting eminates from Ted's cubicle even when he's not there... it's starting to be very distracting to nearby workers, and also violent office incidents are up 20%
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Jul 10, 2015 17:35
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*watches office fantasy football betting pool from a distance, silent, unnoticed, hands folded in front of face, small smile creeping into the corners of my mouth*
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Jul 10, 2015 17:38
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Hey did you catch the game last night *is referring to a more brutal version of hunger games that takes place in heck*
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Jul 10, 2015 17:43
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Hi! My name is Prometheus, and when I'm not stealing fire from the Gods or having my liver pecked out by a giant godsdamned bird I drive a Ford! In my new F-250 I can outrun that son-of-a-bitch for at least 20 more minutes than usual and hold onto that liver I regenerated. Ford, gently caress eternal damnation! **giant bird smashes through window and plucks out liver**
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 10, 2015 17:56
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- Aaah! My eyes are bleeding! - Oh god, your pupils are all milky white, too! - Not to worry mortals. This happens all the time *grabs eyedrops from drawer* |
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Jul 10, 2015 18:11
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beelzebub: No, this is my lunch.... ted: well neither of these have your many unspeakable names on it beelzebub: no, but-- ted: and they look about the same, plus I already dug in, pard. beelzebub: yeah but look Ted, this has mayo on it it's not like I would accidentally make a sandwich with-- ted: aargh give me a break triple b beelzebub: LOOK at this sandwich, it's not like Linda would make you lunch from the entrails of the scorned ted: I don't know about that! beelzebub: hahahaha T-bird, you're alright
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Jul 10, 2015 18:26
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Qwerinty posted:words etched over the entire surface of huge boulders being pushed in a futile never ending journey to a nonexistent center: Lol, and ron color posted:beelzebub: No, this is my lunch.... Lmfao
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Jul 10, 2015 18:39
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The noose of the Penitent Thief is not appropriate work attire. I will write you a citation.
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Jul 10, 2015 18:47
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lol
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Jul 10, 2015 18:48
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no, this is complete bullshit. when dave's wife filed for divorce, he cried in the bathroom all morning. i should be allowed to cry friday night before closing.
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Jul 10, 2015 18:48
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a hell rift on the interstate is not an adequate reason for being six minutes late, Gary, you should plan to leave early enough to accommodate for these things |
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Jul 10, 2015 18:52
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[Demon boss looking over the paysheet for his construction workers] Paid, paid, paid, AHHHHHHHH oh wait Hay-soos, paid, paid, paid, AHHHHHHHH, paid, paid....
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Jul 10, 2015 18:52
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no, gary, i don't expect you to know what a hellspawn is or why we fear them, but i do expect you to sign this leave of absence. i'm not coming back until they're gone.
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Jul 10, 2015 18:57
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For the last time, Johnson what you do on your own time is your business, but around here we do not inhabit the bodies of our co-workers! HR is all over me for the company picnic on the Fourth, and I keep getting memos. I hate memos!
https://i.imgur.com/QKTkerO.mp4 |
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Jul 10, 2015 19:45
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I wish that annoying purple accountant would stop laughing after every friggen number. These expense reports are taking forever.
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Jul 10, 2015 23:16
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I know my workers rights.
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Jul 10, 2015 23:43
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I demand a livable wage.
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Jul 10, 2015 23:44
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I want christmas off.
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Jul 11, 2015 00:07
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Bread Set Jettison posted:I wish that annoying purple accountant would stop laughing after every friggen number. These expense reports are taking forever. |
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Jul 11, 2015 00:47
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Bread Set Jettison posted:I wish that annoying purple accountant would stop laughing after every friggen number. These expense reports are taking forever.
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Jul 11, 2015 01:46
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ron color posted:beelzebub: No, this is my lunch.... That's great. |
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Jul 11, 2015 05:37
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well you see, it's the busiest time of year for us, we all have to pitch in, which is why I'm rejecting your sick day. oh? do I hear begging? well, I might be open to negotiation... |
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Jul 11, 2015 05:48
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yeah boss ill get right on that thing you want me to do right this minute as soon as i take a break right now because i am within the law to do so, right?
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Jul 11, 2015 08:53
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employee from Hell, MI
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Jul 11, 2015 16:02
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Employee from Hell: Hey! I'm from hell! I have devil horns and like fire and brimstone, lol. Boss not from Hell: That's illegal, please sit down. ---------------- |
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Jul 11, 2015 16:17
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Poster on the cubicle wall of hanged damned souls swaying grotesquely in a pit of eternal flame "Hang in there!"
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Jul 11, 2015 19:26
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Employee from Hell: Actually the most heinous act is the average indifference of a citizen to the whole soul-destroying status-quo of capitalist global economy, your apathy towards the societal impact this companies placement in the economy is a worse sin than a million torture chambers. Ted: Yeah, haha, did you see Survivor: Polynesia last night though? ---------------- |
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Jul 11, 2015 19:29
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Ace of Baes posted:Employee from Hell: Actually the most heinous act is the average indifference of a citizen to the whole soul-destroying status-quo of capitalist global economy, your apathy towards the societal impact this companies placement in the economy is a worse sin than a million torture chambers. This triggers me |
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Jul 11, 2015 19:30
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pogi posted:This triggers me :/
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Jul 11, 2015 19:32
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Ace of Baes posted:Employee from Hell: Actually the most heinous act is the average indifference of a citizen to the whole soul-destroying status-quo of capitalist global economy, your apathy towards the societal impact this companies placement in the economy is a worse sin than a million torture chambers. ---------------- |
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Jul 11, 2015 19:37
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Employee from hell?? haha yeah bitch,.. that's me
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Jul 11, 2015 21:41
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it's really not that bad down there, I mean we got air conditioning now...unlike this shithole mailroom
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Jul 11, 2015 21:43
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Demon boss enacts strict adherence to casual Friday, extends it to all days of the week, anyone found disobeying is given a dunce cap and time out as part of Hell's Ironic Punishment Outreach Program
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Jul 11, 2015 21:44
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 04:16 |
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I mean sure you're being continuously hosed by a thousand thorny cocks or skinned alive or whatever, but a least I didn't have some uppity white collar person from HR on my rear end telling me I have to wear shoes at work. It's MY cubicle and I like to keep it casual, gently caress
Somebody fucked around with this message at 00:05 on Jul 12, 2015
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Jul 11, 2015 21:48
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