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so are you going to compensate me for miles driven? you wouldn't believe how long it takes to get through the earth's crust in a station wagon |
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Jul 10, 2015 06:00
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 05:57 |
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sorry, i'd pitch in for lunch, but you can't perceive our currency with your mortal eyes
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Jul 10, 2015 06:00
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i don't use facebook. social media where i come from just makes it easier for others to torture you. what? oh, i guess we do use twitter.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:01
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seriously? non-smoking? maybe have a little loving respect for your employees
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Jul 10, 2015 06:02
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[points to bathroom] DO NOT GO IN THERE [muffled shrieks are heard from inside as the door is closed]
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Jul 10, 2015 06:03
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every day you deny me overtime, you are literally damning me to torment
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Jul 10, 2015 06:04
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what's this in the fridge? soul food? really?
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Jul 10, 2015 06:05
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define 'paid vacation'
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Jul 10, 2015 06:45
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employee potluck? sure. how do you feel about unbaptized babies?
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Jul 10, 2015 06:47
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oh, so it's fine for bethanie to have an ichthys on her bumper but when i show up with the heads of your grandparents on my car hood everyone flips their poo poo. nice. you know they purposefully threw their own heads on my nice clean car just so you'd remember them, right? you never called them and now they're in eternal agony.
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Jul 10, 2015 06:55
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so if i get this job again, do i have to give you back the gold watch from last time?
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Jul 10, 2015 06:57
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i'm just saying it's bullshit that you made me sign that life insurance policy. i don't care if it's mandated. it's stupid
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Jul 10, 2015 06:58
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well, i don't care if dilbert is a cornerstone of cubicle humor. i shouldn't have to suffer through all of those terrible cat-devil calender comics every time you want a one-on-one. you know my home situation, we've been over this.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:02
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i can't unfreeze her, ok? if she didn't try and steal my lunch, she wouldn't have seen the gorgon head and we wouldn't be having this conversation. it was clearly marked with a note on the outside and she signed that waiver about lunch theft just like we all did. besides, she was on strike six or seven and you weren't going to do anything.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:04
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no, henry, i don't want to hear about the good news. there is no more good news for me. what? oh, well. tell sven i wish you both the best.
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Jul 10, 2015 07:06
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well, I don't care what you think, flamin red hots trigger me, and I wish you'd stop putting them out in the employee candy dish. m&ms were doing just fine |
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Jul 10, 2015 17:32
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no, this is complete bullshit. when dave's wife filed for divorce, he cried in the bathroom all morning. i should be allowed to cry friday night before closing.
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Jul 10, 2015 18:48
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| # ¿ May 14, 2024 05:57 |
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no, gary, i don't expect you to know what a hellspawn is or why we fear them, but i do expect you to sign this leave of absence. i'm not coming back until they're gone.
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Jul 10, 2015 18:57
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