|
Regardless of anything I say, we're all just glad that Obummer's out of the White House right? *thunderous apples*
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 08:24
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 30, 2024 16:20 |
|
|
Gay illegal aborted fetuses taking jobs away from Americans
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 09:52
|
|
|
middleclass delenda est
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 15:59
|
|
|
The government ought to be small enough to drown in a bathtub. I want to drown that government. I'm running today to be in that bathtub drowning, too.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 16:11
|
|
|
Lord of Pie posted:middleclass delenda est ...is what the Democrats say, as they plot to destroy the middle class through mass unemployment with their socialism and *checks buzzword list* crony capitalism! That is a kind of capitalism that is completely different from the kind I love with all my heart. It's bad capitalism. For Marxist reasons, also sharia.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 17:51
|
|
|
Now, some people here might question how the Democrats' plan to use increased taxes on the 1% to fund health and education programs could possibly be a secret conspiracy between Big Government and Big Business to eliminate the middle class and take advantage of everyday Joes like you and me. They might say that theory doesn't make any sense and is pure jargon meant to reinforce your current ideas without having any basis in fact. *boos from audience* That's what I said! Sounds like those people might want to just move to Greece, huh? *cheers from audience*
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 17:55
|
|
|
We must build a wall around our borders to keep out the Mexgolians.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 18:15
|
|
|
Rape babies are a gift from Zeus. If Zeus comes down from the heavens as a bull and has sexual intercourse with you, are you really going to throw away that gift? That baby could be the next Heracles!
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 18:18
|
|
|
And so I say, "yes!" Yes, let them all die! *thunderous applause*
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 18:20
|
|
|
"My friends, instead of prisons I propose we bring back the storied tradition of gladitorial deathmatches! "
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 18:54
|
|
|
"I've traveled all across this great nation talking to good, hard working Americans and what they always tell me is that we need to loosen corporate regulations, cut welfare and kill the poor. Well my friends, I have listened to the peoples' voices!"
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 19:42
|
|
|
Jeb: Why are you talking about George? Trump: I did what your brother couldn't. Jeb: Don't say this to me. Trump: I broke you and I beat you. It was George who told me about you. He's the prophet. He's the smart one. He knew what was there and he found me to take it out of the ground, and you know what the funny thing is? Listen... listen... listen... I paid him ten million dollars, cash in hand, just like that. He has his own company now. A prosperous little business. Three wells producing. Five hundred thousand dollars a week. [Jeb cries] Trump: Stop crying, you sniveling rear end! Stop your nonsense. You're just the afterbirth, Jeb. Jeb: No... Trump: You slithered out of your mother's filth. Jeb: No. Trump: They should have put you in a glass jar on a mantlepiece. Where were you when George was suckling at his mother's teat? Where were you? Who was nursing you, poor Jeb? One of Cheney's sows? That land has been had. Nothing you can do about it. It's gone. It's had. Jeb: If you would just take... Trump: You lose. Jeb: ...this lease, Donald... Trump: Drainage! Drainage, Jeb, you boy. Drained dry. I'm so sorry. Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? Watch it. Now, my straw reaches acroooooooss the room and starts to drink your milkshake. I... drink... your... milkshake! [sucking sound] Trump: I drink it up! Jeb: Don't bully me, Donaldl! [Trump roars and throws Jeb across the room] Trump: Did you think your song and dance and your superstition would help you, Jeb? I am the Third Revelation! I am who the Lord has chosen!
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 19:59
|
|
|
I say, I say get liquored up and take her to the peach tree dance!
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 20:40
|
|
|
Mentally substitute "small business" for "big business" to get an accurate speech. apply to democratic party politicians as well.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 20:58
|
|
|
Full Repeal of Obamacare. Return of Traditional Marriage . Tax breaks for businesses that encourage US employment. Break of relations with all country's with state sponsored terrorism. Repeal Making internet a utility. Lessen Gun Control. Stricter Immigration laws, more punishments for people breaking immigration laws.
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 21:44
|
|
|
Nth Doctor posted:The government ought to be small enough to drown in a bathtub. I want to drown that government. I'm running today to be in that bathtub drowning, too. Wild cheers and insane frenzied hollering
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 21:49
|
|
|
loquacius posted:...is what the Democrats say, as they plot to destroy the middle class through mass unemployment with their socialism and *checks buzzword list* crony capitalism! That is a kind of capitalism that is completely different from the kind I love with all my heart. It's bad capitalism. For Marxist reasons, also sharia. State capitalism is haram Free *loud moan*  enterprise is the light
|
|
#
?
Jul 21, 2015 21:55
|
|
|
"Hi, I'm Rick Perry." *pretends to drop his pen and discreetly snorts some crushed up Oxy under the podium*
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 00:28
|
|
|
99999999999999999999
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 01:43
|
|
|
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VD7U5mcEepU
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 01:49
|
|
|
we must secure our homeland and future for White children
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 02:34
|
|
|
Uziduke posted:Full Repeal of Obamacare. Brand all blacks *wince at saying 'blacks' when 'Negros' feels more natural* shortly after birth Mandatorily euthanize disability claimants who have been on it longer than three weeks Criminalize Hispanics-----the entire race is now 'illegal', and being caught in the U.S while Hispanic is a capital crime Decriminalize rape; sluts are just asking for it, after all Criminalize abortion; this too is now a capital crime Defund all programs which benefit minorities; pump the freed-up money into the military budget Replace the National Anthem with 'Onward Christian Soldiers'
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 02:38
|
|
|
I'd like to take a moment to recognize - in the clear absence of my senate colleague Democrat Bernie Sanders's understanding or investment in this issue - that black lives do, in fact, matter. -Ted Cruz
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 02:58
|
|
|
MrBims posted:I'd like to take a moment to recognize - in the clear absence of my senate colleague Democrat Bernie Sanders's understanding or investment in this issue - that black lives do, in fact, matter. -Ted Cruz While my esteemed colleague was more than willing to affirm that "black" lives matter, I can't help but recognize a particular people he didn't bother to acknowledge. A people who carry the heaviest burden in our modern, entitlement-minded society, and whom the federal bureaucracy continues to attack with crushing taxes at every turn. Yes, I think it is time that we all rise up and with one voice proclaim that which we all know to be true: white lives matter!." *crowd erupts in applause, spontaneous declarations of the 14 words*
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 03:54
|
|
|
Read my lips, no new taxes. (Except on poors)
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 05:05
|
|
|
We need to get rid of our complicated tax system and replace it with a flat tax. Under my plan, every person and every company would pay the same rate: $10,000 a year.
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 05:14
|
|
|
Astrofig posted:Brand all blacks *wince at saying 'blacks' when 'Negros' feels more natural* shortly after birth Bleh, My wife and her father are good Hispanic conservatives that legally immigrated to this country, but yeah the illegal ones go ahead.
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 16:25
|
|
|
If my conservative principles require it of me, I will tell a 6-year-old girl, in front of the entire nation, that her loving father deserves to be deported and never see her again because he qualifies as a criminal simply by being in this country. I will stand there and smile for the cameras as that little girl bawls her adorable eyes out on national television before a cheering crowd. That is what being a leader means to me.
|
|
#
?
Jul 22, 2015 19:08
|
|
|
loquacius posted:If my conservative principles require it of me, I will tell a 6-year-old girl, in front of the entire nation, that her loving father deserves to be deported and never see her again because he qualifies as a criminal simply by being in this country. I will stand there and smile for the cameras as that little girl bawls her adorable eyes out on national television before a cheering crowd. That is what being a leader means to me. I would concur, however she would be going back with him so they would never again be parted.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 02:00
|
|
|
*Starts speaking in tongues, general spasms* ...and that my friends is why we can not allow another Democrat in the White House. We've been lenient too long, it's time for real Americans to take this country back.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 02:14
|
|
|
LET HIM DIE *crowd explodes into standing ovation*
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 04:01
|
|
|
The world is full of complainers. But the fact is, nothing comes with a guarantee. I don't care if you're the Pope of Rome, President of the United States, or even Man of the Year something can always go wrong. And go ahead, complain, tell your problems to your neighbor, ask for help, watch him fly. Now in Vermont, they got it mapped out so the everyone pulls for everyone else that's the theory, anyway. But what I know about is Texas...and down here... you're on your own as the Founders and Jesus intended. *wild applause*
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 05:33
|
|
|
In my America, every natural-born citizen get a good ol made-in-the-USA shovel. THAT'S IT. No taxes, no social security, no roads or bridges. JUST THE SHOVEL.
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 05:37
|
|
|
Well I get sent Bibles by a lot of people... we keep them at a certain place. A very nice place. But people send me Bibles. And you know, it's very interesting. I get so much mail, and because I'm in this incredible location in Manhattan, you can't keep most of the mail you get....There's no way I would ever throw anything, to do anything negative to a Bible, so what we do is we keep all of the Bibles....I would have a fear of doing something other than very positive, so actually I store them and keep them and sometimes give them away to other people but I do get sent a lot of Bibles and I like that. I think that's great.”
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 06:10
|
|
|
...cool space laser-- sorry, Lindsey - where did you get that tie? It's breathtaking."
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 06:25
|
|
|
*Shows off Koran* This abominable book galvanized the murder of millions of Christians during the Holocaust and fuels radical Islamic extremism everywhere. There is no doubt that this book and all it represents belongs in the garbage can of history. *Starts ripping pages out*
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 12:39
|
|
|
unlike my bad opponent i am good guy
|
|
#
?
Jul 23, 2015 13:43
|
|
|
Listen, luck skyranger was definitely a conservative as he exerted his God given right to bear arms against an oppressive totalitarian goverment (the Obama administration) and would have voted for me.
|
|
#
?
Jul 24, 2015 16:35
|
|
|
I hear that there is an uh an upcoming feature by the name mission impossible rogue nation. Well my friends we may have a rogue nation right now, but, together, our mission is not impossible!
|
|
#
?
Jul 25, 2015 01:43
|
|
|
|
| # ? Apr 30, 2024 16:20 |
|
|
If I actually campaigned I wouldn't have time to stop and pray 10 times a day while facing the Reagan Presidential Library. That's why my poll numbers are low now, but my faith in the lord our savior Saint Reagan will bring me through in the end.
|
|
#
?
Jul 25, 2015 03:37
|
|