20 Team Fantasy League Season 7 - What the Fuck is Wrong With Us?

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > 20 Team Fantasy League Season 7 - What the Fuck is Wrong With Us?

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Best Division This poll is closed.
Dan Marino	6	15.38%
Joe Namath	2	5.13%
Joe Montana	5	12.82%
Bart Starr	3	7.69%
I'm Not in the League, but I like Voting in things	23	58.97%
Total:	38 votes

[Edit Poll (moderators only)]

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
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LASER SKATES

^{^{Sweet angel of death take me now}}

It's once again time to face fantasy hell with the 20-team fantasy league! Enjoy the struggles of having to select between Chris Ivory or Marcus Lattimore for your RB1 for your win-or-go-home game against the guy starting Nick Foles. Silently weep yourself to sleep over the fact that if you had only taken a DEF before you decided to take a backup WR, you'd be dominating the league.

:siren:

CURRENT DRAFT IS LISTED AT Sun, Aug 23, 2015, 9PM EASTERN TIME :siren:

The 20-team fantasy league enters its SEVENTH season this year, and as any of the vets can tell you, it is a BLAST. To the vets (and former members), please make sure you claim your spot soon. Unlike previous years, I'm just keeping the wait list in perpetuam from henceforth. Whatever.

:siren:

LITERALLY ALL THE RULES ARE HERE, READ THEM :siren:

(no, veterans, there is no hidden prize this year, I promise)

:siren:

Members :siren:

Priority goes to the 19 lucky gents (and 1 gal) who got into the league last year. These guys will have til about Aug. 7th to tell me IN THIS THREAD that they are going to participate (even if you have already through PM/in the season 5 thread). I am not psychic, and I really don't keep up with HILARIOUS FORUM JOKES, so I do not know if you've changed your username, so you know, lemme know if you did that. Also, if you're changing your team name, tell us so we can update the OP. IF YOU ARE A RETURNING MEMBER, ALSO POST IN THE LEAGUE PAGE TO CONFIRM YOU CAN ACTUALLY READ. :siren:

All but 1 vet have returned, I love y'all. :siren:

Second priority goes to wait list people. There's no more games with having to post within the three day window like last seasons. I'm too old to deal with that poo poo. If you were on the wait list from last year, you're below. If you want to be added to the wait list, post and I will add you first come first serve. :siren:

While the league is full for this season, I will continue to take waitlisters. :siren:

Scoring
This can be debated, but I think we've settled on the scoring. Return yards have worked very well for the league's depth, particularly for the D/STs. For quick reference, here it is:

BREAKDOWN
The draft *does* take time, but really the roster is smaller than most. Most people seemed happy with the way the rosters were last year, but we are always up for debate to expand it (contracting is out of the question). Last year, we voted to expand the rosters to:

QB, RB, WR, RB/WR/TE, RB/WR/TE, TE, D/ST, K, 5 BE, 2 IR

DRAFT
We will be doing a live draft again, and the less said about the literally day-long offline draft we did during season 1 the better (so don't loving ask to do an offline one). I'm amenable to changing the draft date *a little*, but I really want to keep it as is unless too many of us miss it. Please plan your schedules accordingly. Set your rankings, and get a friend to draft for you if need be (better option).

Draft order will be randomized after the league is officially filled. IF YOU TRADE DRAFT PICKS BEFORE THE DRAFT ORDER IS DETERMINED, THESE WILL BE RESET.

LEAGUE SCHEDULING
I have yet to set up the schedules. As the vets know, this takes me time to do... I'm a lazy sack of poo poo and often wait til opening Thursday to do it.
your schedule will look like this:
-8 division games
-3 conference games
-2 OoC games

We keep the same divisions, as always. Dan Marino division - best division. If a division wants to change their name, lemme know. The AFC and NFC conferences will be placed on other ends of the real playoffs when the time comes. If you can't understand which is which, :frogout:

.

PLAYOFF BERTHS

I could have sworn I had a section on this, but since I am asked this every year, I'm putting it in the OP. :siren:

IGNORE THE ESPN PLAYOFF BERTHS, THEY ARE WRONG :siren:

. The playoff berths are determined using the ACTUAL RULES THE NFL HAS. In some cases, I skip a tie-breaker, like "margin of victory", because you cannot control how the other team scores.

SEASON 7 WHACK-A-DOODLES:

code:

SA Name                    Team Name
JetsGuy                    Johnny Doesn't Give a gently caress
Eltoasto                   Spinnin' Frennys
braksgirl                  Taco Tuesday
Silly Burrito              The Farmering Odells
jabro                      bELIeve Dirty Sanchez
tuckfard                  RATED R SUPERSTARS
darkwolf220                Seattle Fraisers
BabeLiker90        	   Solid State Poo
tadashi                    der juicen Lives Forever
Pain of Mind              San Francisco PoM
Power of Pecota           Akron Peppercorns
seventeen                 The Hot Dog Heros
commish                   Baller Status
bbf2                      Aaron H's Hand gun Emporium
old dog child	          Mouth Breathing Retards
halonx                    Wisconsin Cows
MikeyKins                 Sesame Berts
JuicedSixFo               Zoltan Mesko
chrix                     Naptown Sleepers
FlyWhiteBoy               Bust A Kaep

(*ed guys haven't posted in the league page yet)
(^ed guys HAVE posted in the league forum, but haven't recently posted here)

~~LAST YEAR'S FOOLS WHO HAVE NOT YET SIGNED BACK UP~~

code:

Stevie Lee retired. Boo.

~~SEASON 7~~ WAIT LIST

code:

dubious
Metapod
Baldrash

LINK FOR THE LAZY:
http://games.espn.go.com/ffl/leagueoffice?leagueId=524484&seasonId=2015

HALL OF HONOR:
Season 1: J-City Rockstars [Joe Montana Division]
Season 2: bbf2, Plaxico's Hand gun Emporium [Dan Marino Division]
Season 3: bbf2, Stevie J's Hand gun Emporium [Dan Marino Division]
Season 4: JuicedSixFo, Zoltan Mesko [Dan Marino Division]
Season 5: Chrix, Naptown Sleepers [Bart Starr Division]
Season 6: Braksgirl (a.k.a Mrs. Burrito), Taco Tuesday [Dan Marino Division]

LEAGUE HISTORY:
Season 6 - Still Not as Tough as the SEC
Season 5 - The Only Place Dan Marino Gets a Ring
Season 4 - Bounty Programs Aint Crazy Y'all
Season 3 - More Nuts than CBA Arguments
Season 2 - Still loving Nuts
Season 1 - Let's Go Nuts

JetsGuy fucked around with this message at 20:43 on Nov 30, 2015

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:13

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# ? May 2, 2024 20:04

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
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ALL RISE FOR OUR NATIONAL ANTHEM
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6n1KPQmdddY

The Dan Oath

JuicedSixFo posted:

Dear Daniel Constantine "Dan" Marino, Jr.,

I hereby declare, on oath, that I absolutely and entirely renounce all other divisions and abjure all allegiances and fidelity to any managers of said divisions; that I will support and defend The Dan Marino Division and laws of the 20 Team Fantasy League against all poo poo talkers, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I will bear arms on behalf of The Dan Marino Division when required by the commissioner; and that I take this obligation freely without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; so help me Dan. Amen.

The STARRy Future

seventeen posted:

In the not too distant future, when the championships of Montana and Marino have faded into a distant memory, when auction draft has become the one true format for NFL Fantasy Football brought to you by Pepsi Co�, there will be an era of great darkness swallowing the world as we know it. Forever, darkness. In the distance, millions upon millions of miles away, a lone beacon of light will twinkle like championship bling resting on a black blanket. A ball of gas and space waste, once alive, is dead and yet still caressing our dark planet with a touch of light, a beacon of hope.

Is it a message from beyond? Is it visitors from another universe to rescue us from our dying planet? Nay. It is a sparkling glimmer oh hope, a sly wink; a knowing wink of encouragement and inspiration. Through the rumbles of Earth's plates shifting, a voice bellows from the great beyond, "You can't kill a Starr, bitch"

The Dan's Prayer

JetsGuy posted:

Hail Dan, who Art in Canton,
Hallowed be thy name,
thy touchdowns come,
thy divisions won,
on forums, as they are in Canton,
give us this win, our weekly ,
and forgive us our losses,
as we forgive the Namath,
and lead us not to Montana,
and deliver us from Starr,
for thine is the division,
the league, the glory forever,
Amen.

JetsGuy fucked around with this message at 19:17 on Jul 19, 2015

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:15

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

(placeholder post)

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:15

Eltoasto: Aug 26, 2002; We come spinning out of nothingness, scattering stars like dust.

The Spinnin Freeneys shall return to reclaim the glory of 2nd place. As our divisional namesake Joe Namath once said "Winning is for Losers, the smart man shows up for the party."

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:24

Braksgirl: Dec 25, 2010; Unofficial Goon Disney travel agent since 2014!

Tens of Goons served!

Taco Tuesday is back! Gotta defend that crown.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:26

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
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LASER SKATES

Updated y'all.

Also, the Freeny's have pointed out something glorious - the draft is currently scheduled (hopefully won't change) to the date of SUMMERSLAM. I don't know anything about wrestling, so truly this is destiny.

Also, if one of y'all with archives could give me the names of Season 2 and Season 3 so I can make their links correct in the OP, I'd appreciate it.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:41

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

The Farmerin' Odells are claiming a space yet again for the glory of the Joe Montana division.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:46

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

I care not for your tables. :colbert:

20 Team Fantasy League Season 2: Still loving Nuts
20 Team Fantasy League, Season 3 - More Nuts than CBA Arguements

# ? Jul 19, 2015 19:48

Braksgirl: Dec 25, 2010; Unofficial Goon Disney travel agent since 2014!

Tens of Goons served!

Btw, this is mines and y'all cannot have it. Silly Burrito gave it to me for Christmas last year. I see he neglected to include the info about the Dan Marino Division, but I suspect that is just sour grapes.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 20:04

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

I like to imagine you nudging him with it every morning when he sleeps in.

Also, thanks Burrito.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 20:18

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

I've always wanted to buy a small plaque with little copper plates so that it would have the league history. However, even going cheap that would probablyh cost over 100$ which is more than I want to spend on this league even before shipping.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 20:19

Diqnol: May 10, 2010

I'm signed back up. I was AFP but as you can see I love to post in namechange threads.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 20:32

Power of Pecota: Aug 4, 2007; Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UJBjThjxQHc

# ? Jul 19, 2015 21:02

jabro: Mar 25, 2003; July Mock Draft 2014

1st PLACE
RUNNER-UP
got the knowshon

bELIeve Dirty Sanchez is back. Probably changing my team name but will wait until after the draft since I might forget to draft a QB until after everybody else does like last season and actually be forced to start Sanchez.

# ? Jul 19, 2015 21:36

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

JetsGuy posted:

We keep the same divisions, as always. Dan Marino division - best division. If a division wants to change their name. The AFC and NFC conferences will be placed on other ends of the real playoffs when the time comes. If you can't understand which is which, .

then what??? Joe Namath division needs to become Warren Moon division because we're never winning a championship

I'm still in as 1017 Brick Squad

edit: on second thought, you can drop me because I can never show up for the start of this league's draft. the brick squad-taco tuesday rivalry will not live on

Stevie Lee fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Jul 19, 2015

# ? Jul 19, 2015 23:30

Pain of Mind: Jul 10, 2004; You are receiving this broadcast as a dream...We are transmitting from the year one nine... nine nine ...You are receiving this broadcast in order t

San Francisco PoM back for more; apparently someone else won Joe Namath last year, weird.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 00:14

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

Pain of Mind posted:

San Francisco PoM back for more; apparently someone else won Joe Namath last year, weird.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 00:44

tuckfard: Dec 9, 2003; Just chillin

I'm back. I'll be there live drafting and watching Summerslam.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 00:48

darkwolf220: May 14, 2009; SOON

I'm back for this thing, certainly by year 20 odds are I will have won 1, right? :ohdear:

Also we sold the chickens, I will get a new name before we draft.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 03:21

Dubious: Mar 7, 2006; The Heroes the Vikings Deserve; Lipstick Apathy

put me on that wait list capn crunch

# ? Jul 20, 2015 04:33

Stevie Lee: Oct 8, 2007

give my spot to Dubious tia

# ? Jul 20, 2015 13:50

Diqnol: May 10, 2010

Unless I'm misreading, it's possible to double dip on a guy's return yards, yeah?

# ? Jul 20, 2015 14:05

tadashi: Feb 20, 2006

For some reason, I'm back again. Maybe this is the year?

# ? Jul 20, 2015 14:39

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
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LASER SKATES

Updated. Don't forget to post in both here and the league page. It's a stupid hoop to make sure you are able to post here where the real mockery and trash talking happens.... and also a way to make sure you can still access the league.

Dumb, but w/e.

GUISSEPPE PIZZAPIE posted:

Unless I'm misreading, it's possible to double dip on a guy's return yards, yeah?

How so? I mean, yes, if you have a returner AND the D/ST, yes, I suppose you could, but we've always just accepted that. It's usually pretty dumb as most returners are DBs or specialists that don't really play otherwise.

Stevie Lee posted:

give my spot to Dubious tia

Dubious goes on wait list, I gotta check with "old dog child" first before giving away your spot. Sorry to see you go Stevie Lee, you were always a p good trash talker. :unsmith:

# ? Jul 20, 2015 16:28

chrix: Jan 3, 2004; Football man, the guy with the football plan

The Naptown Sleepers are back once again.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 16:40

halonx: May 4, 2005

Wisconsin Cows are back.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sl_JNTCNH2k

# ? Jul 20, 2015 16:42

commish: Sep 17, 2009

Juiced sucks.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 16:43

seventeen: Jan 2, 2005; Do not try and score on the powerplay. That's impossible. Instead... only try to realize the truth.

What truth?

There is no powerplay.

Hot Dogs gonna hot dog once again in TYOOL 2015

# ? Jul 20, 2015 17:15

Diqnol: May 10, 2010

JetsGuy posted:

How so? I mean, yes, if you have a returner AND the D/ST, yes, I suppose you could, but we've always just accepted that. It's usually pretty dumb as most returners are DBs or specialists that don't really play otherwise.

Yeah, I don't have an issue with it whatsoever, I just wanted to be sure I was reading it correctly and mentioning it to those of you who consider such stuff when drafting the Cobbs of the world.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 17:19

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

I will win Rookie of the Year

# ? Jul 20, 2015 19:30

Power of Pecota: Aug 4, 2007; Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

I posted here and in the league thread but to restate, the Akron Peppercorns are back.

# ? Jul 20, 2015 19:40

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

Power of Pecota posted:

I posted here and in the league thread but to restate, the Akron Peppercorns are back.

Ack, sorry Pecota!

old dog child posted:

I will win Rookie of the Year

A welcome addition to the league already.

Bow before the might of the Dan Marino division, pleb. You will be in the Joe Namath division, replacing 1017 BRICK SQUAD. Feel free to rename (in fact, I encourage it)

# ? Jul 20, 2015 20:14

bbf2: Nov 22, 2007; "The White Shadow"

I am back!

I haven't been following the off-season too closely this year, have there been any NFL players involved in embarrassing situations with firearms? I need to update my team's namesake.

bbf2 fucked around with this message at 21:08 on Jul 20, 2015

# ? Jul 20, 2015 21:05

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

bbf2 posted:

I am back!

I haven't been following the off-season too closely this year, have there been any NFL players involved in embarrassing situations with firearms? I need to update my team's namesake.

FireCRACKERS, yes. You down with JPP?

# ? Jul 20, 2015 21:37

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
=
LASER SKATES

In keeping with our sacred league traditions, 1017 BRICK SQUAD has been renamed to "TOM BRADYS COCK IS DELICIOUS"

Here's hoping the new guy changes it, although I know one guy kept it one year when I renamed like 5 teams to that. I guess that was season 2.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 16:20

Power of Pecota: Aug 4, 2007; Goodness no, now that wouldn't do at all!

JetsGuy posted:

In keeping with our sacred league traditions, 1017 BRICK SQUAD has been renamed to "TOM BRADYS COCK IS DELICIOUS"

Here's hoping the new guy changes it, although I know one guy kept it one year when I renamed like 5 teams to that. I guess that was season 2.

I changed my team name to it after everyone changed theirs back in I think S3? I don't remember seasons by number as much as like "the season where I traded my entire autodrafted roster and Cam Newton carried my team" "the season where I drafted Ryan Grant with my first pick" etc.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 16:59

3 DONG HORSE: May 22, 2008; I'd like to thank Satan for everything he's done for this organization

JetsGuy posted:

In keeping with our sacred league traditions, 1017 BRICK SQUAD has been renamed to "TOM BRADYS COCK IS DELICIOUS"

Here's hoping the new guy changes it, although I know one guy kept it one year when I renamed like 5 teams to that. I guess that was season 2.

I changed my name but this is temporary. I am going to kill you all with puns once I get my roster.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 19:28

Silly Burrito: Nov 27, 2007; SET A COURSE FOR
THE FLAVOR QUADRANT

old dog child posted:

I changed my name but this is temporary. I am going to kill you all with puns once I get my roster.

Uh oh Jetsguy, we might have to start our bad video trash talk again. If only there were a decent replacement for Xtranormal.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 21:24

JetsGuy: Sep 17, 2003; science + hockey
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LASER SKATES

It's happening as soon as we find a valid video-trash talk service that allows us to shittalk with the glorious anonymity of Microsoft Sam.

Also, I'll update the list tonight, a couple of us can read but apparently don't like posting both here and there.

# ? Jul 21, 2015 21:45

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# ? May 2, 2024 20:04

Metapod: Mar 18, 2012

Put me on the wait list. This looks fun

# ? Jul 21, 2015 21:58

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Sports Argument Stadium > The Armchair Quarterback > 20 Team Fantasy League Season 7 - What the Fuck is Wrong With Us?

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